I am submissive to my husband AMA

[Peachesx2606]

Please AMA but please be kind.

I'm interested in other thoughts/opinions and will try to give mine.

This is just something that seems to work for us x

What are we missing, OP -what do you want people to ask you?

Emmeline Pankhurst is turning in her grave right now.

Why does your husband think it's in your best interests to be vulnerable?

Hopefully it won't be for a good while yet but do you worry how you'll cope if he dies first (which is fairly likely) after so many years of reliance?

At the moment I don't work. I have my own account he puts money into, I have some savings and we have a joint credit card. I don't ask him for small things but I do for bigger things.

I’m so AMA doesn’t actually mean AMA 🤦‍♀️

She is ignoring all the comments she does not like…

Thank you.

Why do you feel his decisions are better than your own? Can you remember when you started to lack confidence in your own decision making?

Do you believe all women are inferior in decision making to all men, or just that you are inferior to your husband?

🙄

As long as you have things to fall back on... Otherwise you aren't safe, even if you 'feel' that way,

I have so much second hand anxiety for unmarried women with children.

Suppose he was making a decision which you are certain would affect your children adversely - would you still go along with it?

Do you have a job? How would you feel if he left you? Would you be able to cope on your own? My independence is the thing I value most - can’t imagine handing it to a man on a plate.

Do you have a job? How would you feel if he left you? Would you be able to cope on your own? My independence is the thing I value most - can’t imagine handing it to a man on a plate.

To be honest I think you are in the same position as a lot of women without them realising it.

How do your children from your first marriage feel about someone who is not a biological parent making all the decisions concerning them? If they were unhappy about a decision how would you manage it ?

1. He would make the final decision but we would talk about it. I usually get my way!
2. He could veto in theory
3. My children named our cat
4. I decide all our meals
5. I decide what I wear. I mean I'd listen if he had an opinion but he likes how I dress.

Yes! Definitely!

Do you have daughters and would you encourage them to be submissive? If you have sons would you encourage them to be dominant?

So what if he makes a decision at a time when he is pissing you off. Do you still trust him to get it right if you feel his behaviour at that point is twatty?

Ah. That solves that then.

‘have done things I didn't want to but not bad things’

op I can kind of empathise and understand to an extent that feeling of needing to be looked after, I live with very challenging circumstances and dream of a fairy godmother type to come and wave a wand and take away all the pressure and just to feel cared for but I couldn’t lose my autonomy and freedom.

What are the not bad things you have done but didn't want to ?

I decide what we eat. I would ask him about a bigger purchase not small things. I decide what I wear but would listen if he had an opinion. I guess we discuss our plans for the week but generally I decide on my day to day plans - when I go shopping/to the gym etc.

Are you planning to go back to work at some point, OP? How will you deal with the decision making that that may require?

In my first marriage I did everything. Sorted everything for the children/our life/finances/worked full time. With my current husband he would take the lead more and at first I didn't like it. Sometimes I would probably argue for the sake of it. I wasn't used to being looked after. But after a while I realised how safe it made me feel, how nice it was to share the burden. I like not having to make all the decisions.