AMA: Former model in late 30s often called beautiful by others

[ImImmortalNowBabyDoll]

I'm a former model and now in my late 30s but still regularly described by strangers and friends alike as "beautiful." I've noticed that people who haven't happened to fall neatly into Western beauty standards are often curious about people who do, so AMA.

And if you just want to come and tell me that I'm conceited and probably not as beautiful as I think I am, that's OK too- we all need a hobby.

"people who haven't happened to fall neatly into Western beauty standards"

What does this mean exactly, OP? Do you mean 'ugly' people, or people of other ethnicities (mentioning 'Western' beauty standards), or the average pleasant-looking person?

"are often curious about people who do"

I have to say, I've never noticed 'unattractive' people in everyday life being 'curious' about pretty people's lives - well, not unless those pretty people were also rich and famous, and lived exciting, glamorous lives. Often those things align, but it's the celebrity and glamour that's interesting, not the looks.

Otherwise, particularly attractive people live pretty much the same lives as everyone else. Daily interactions rely much more on personality than looks, I've observed over the years - someone ordinary looking who is kind, witty, and shows an interest in others, is far more likely to be well-liked and thought of (and even more appealing and approachable to the opposite sex), than someone stunningly attractive who is self-absorbed or nasty.

It's giving a little bit of 'the poor uggos are always so curious about what it's like to be so desperately attractive' 😬

Although the titbits (hah) about your experiences in amateur/glamour modelling are quite informative!

Lol. she literally started banging on about agency models looking down on her and something about photographers saying agency models are rude after I asked her a genuine question. It seems op got rather defensive because I pointed something out that she obviously didn’t want people on this thread to know… because it would show that she wasn’t living the lifestyle she portrayed in her op.

My questions to op were… the type of modelling she describes is more to do with the amateur industry. Was she ever signed with an agency as she seemed to be portraying that she got to be a model purely for fitting the western beauty standards.

I then asked how she kept herself safe when putting herself in such a vulnerable position … op seemed to get offended by this.

If you can’t see that then that’s a YOU issue

Crikey going in on me now?
Back to what I just said…. I’m sure what you’re saying is correct- I don’t dispute the facts and neither does the OP. It’s a major ‘way you’re saying it’ issue.

Really 😂
If you don’t dispute the facts then why keep quoting me other than to start an argument? Just move on already.

The facts I’m not disputing are the points you made re differences between amateur/professional (or whatever terminology you used) and safety etc. I don’t need to dispute who said what to who- it’s all right here on the thread.
im leaving this here now - as I originally said, you aren’t able to see how you’re coming across for some reason.

Most of my posts on here have been responses to other posters who have jumped in and responded to me. Most have responded purely to try and start an argument (like yourself) then accuse me of derailing the thread. It was an AMA thread. I asked op a few questions then everyone else started a pile on and started derailing the thread lol.

Yes please do leave it here because you are just arguing for arguments sake. I’m sure op has very thick skin as it’s one of the skills you need to have if you’re a model, So I doubt she needs worriedmumma to stand up for her lol!

Do you worry about ageing and losing your model looks? Will you consider facelifts and other dramatic cosmetic treatments / procedures to fight off the ageing process?

I've experienced this situation with men all my adult life and I'm not an ex model- unfortunately I think it's a fairly common experience for girls and women tbh, regardless of how beautiful we are.

Goodness. Older women can still have ‘beauty’-they just look older. And beauty often comes from within.

What is "lifestyle" in a modelling context?

Do you get a lot of harassment from men in public?

@Flyingintotheunknown - you’re being unnecessarily rude and derailing the thread AMAs are often really interesting.

OP was a model, modelling was her career.

You were a model and are now an actress. Would you like it if a ‘real’ actress kept calling you an amateur and suggesting you are little more than an on-set extra?

I ask because by your reasoning you are less of an actress, an amateur actually, than ‘real’ actresses who have ‘jumped through the hoops’ of stage school, intensive drama coaching, working their way up over years from small roles to leading roles etc.

And here we have another one trying to ‘derail’ a AMA thread by starting an argument with someone who is not the op. Does that make you feel better?

Live up to your username don’t you 👏

Great thread! I was a model for a little while too, promotions mainly and a bit of bridal but I got scouted frequently and did some glamour (not much). I didn't appreciate how beautiful I was mainly because I was in a relationship with someone who was largely asexual. Do you look back and wish you had appreciated it more? X

I don't care if every photo came out wonky and grainer than a sandpit, with the shitest lighting ever lit and was taken on the 192 bus on a disposable camera and half OP's head was cut off. OP was hired for a job, did said job and was paid. Many times over years. That fits the bill for me as working as a model. And she enjoyed herself and picked her own jobs. Fair play OP. Working with body painters, board game inventors and doing an ad for the NHS, a lot of it sounds interesting.

Have you ever worried about your daughter seeing any of your nude work, or the boudoir ones? My daughter is mortified if I wear a crop top to exercise in summer (I like to think she'll grow out of it but I'm not sure she will.)

No. I thought it would be but when I got there I just took them off and it didn't feel weird at all. Like someone else said, you don't feel like people (especially people sketching you) are really looking at your body as a sexual thing, they're analysing the shapes and contours to get the best art work. Sitting still and not moving for 2 hours was harder.

It depends on how you model but for me the acting was the best bit. I loved it when a photographer came to me with a story he wanted to tell. I worked with a Spanish photographer (in Spain) who didn't speak a lot of English and he handed me a set of braces and a flat cap and said, "You come to me on the day of my daughter's wedding!" And I immediately knew what he wanted, the pictures came out amazing. He became a really good friend and his English got better and better the more we worked together. He moved to London in the end and works as a professional photographer.

We have a really narrow standard for what "beautiful" means. If you look at paintings from 400-500 years ago, you can see it's changed a lot. People aren't "ugly" or "beautiful"- they fit in with the standards of the day or they don't. If actually have fit even better into the beauty standards of the 1940s/50s but it's close enough.

People are curious as you can see, a lot of questions have been asked apart from one poster's obsession with the definition of a model.

I'm talking about the very specific type of external beauty which fits into what is considered conventional in our society and youth is a massive part of it.

Slightly at times, especially when a photo is taken at an odd angle and I think, "Wow, I look my age!"

Re surgeries and things, god no! I'm very low maintenance (read: lazy!) I get my hair cut once a year and my Mum takes me to get my nails done with her once a month. The furthest I go is a pot of moisturiser from Lidl.

I think that maybe when you're really afraid of aging, it's because you're not where you wanted to be at the age you are, or because you've relied on being beautiful to get you where you are and have nothing to fall back on. I have a good career, a lovely family, plenty of hobbies. I'm where I wanted to be at 36 and I can cope with it.

I used to. Not so much anymore. I did have to learn to be really really polite to men who approached me to avoid enraging them and getting myself in danger. It didn't always work and once two tramps got in a fist fight about which of them I was going to go out with- I took advantage of the distraction to make a swift exit. Some of my boyfriends were quite jealous and were always getting into fights with some man for looking at me or trying to buy me a drink or whatever, it was very tedious and unnecessary.

And your first question, the photographer has created an idea of a life and you're modelling it. Walking in the woods, sitting in an apartment overlooking the New York skyline (green screen!) - this is then used to advertise a product of some sort, so you might see a photo at the entrance of the woods of someone walking along smiling, or a girl on her high rise apartment next to a makeup counter. They tended to be either for somewhere very local, or India. Apparently that pale skin/ dark hair and eyes thing is very popular in India.

No, I think I definitely had my fun with it! 😂 I did lots of fun jobs which were hired based on looks, like club promotions where I just got paid to hang around a club in a bikini chatting to people. And men wanting to sweep you off your feet with great food and wine. My 20s were a riot.

OP do you find it easy to make female friends?

I remember at the school gates there was an unusually beautiful Mum who stood apart from other people and seemed haughty; not saying you're like that OP but does being beautiful make you want to distance yourself from people in case they are unpleasant and jealous?

We're a naked sort of family so she sees us nude in real life. There's also the odd photo round the house so she knows they exist. My husband has had a few books made up of his favourite shots. Nothing I've done is sexually explicit or "adult", it's art and I'd be happy to defend it if I needed to.

Some of the photographers I worked with did take rubbish photos because they were learning. I never turned someone down just because they were a newbie, just safety precautions like working in a studio with other people on site until you get better known. Very few people are going to take an amazing photo the first time they pick up a camera, and part of my job was being encouraging.

That's a difficult one. I'm quite shy and I do think it's sometimes interpreted as stuck up even though it's really not! There's also a disconnect between how I look and how I am (socially awkward, extremely blunt but not on purpose, bookish) and that's jarring for some people I think.

So I don't find it easy to make friends at all, mostly that's the autism not the beauty though. 😂

There have been a few women who've been openly jealous. My SIL in particular who was obsessed with my weight and was constantly spreading rumours about eating disorders in collusion with my husband's ex wife, and then told everyone how fat I'd got when I was pregnant and said to me, "I bet you don't love yourself so much now with your chubby face." I told her that I was 8 months pregnant after years of infertility and couldn't be happier regardless of my face! Another girl punched and kicked me because she saw me talking to a boy she liked at a party which backfired because the boy asked her what the hell was wrong with her and walked me home to make sure I was ok.