AMA: Former model in late 30s often called beautiful by others

[ImImmortalNowBabyDoll]

I'm a former model and now in my late 30s but still regularly described by strangers and friends alike as "beautiful." I've noticed that people who haven't happened to fall neatly into Western beauty standards are often curious about people who do, so AMA.

And if you just want to come and tell me that I'm conceited and probably not as beautiful as I think I am, that's OK too- we all need a hobby.

Thank you- re gay men in the fashion industry, I'm not sure if the periodic trends for extreme thinness (including the one right now) are driven by gay men finding slimness more attractive.
Flat-chested,,slim trends were popularised back in the 1920s and 1960s by Chanel & Mary Quant. Heroin chic in the 1990s featured models designed by gay men, but gay men also were designing for voluptuous supermodels like Cindy Crawford or Claudia Schiffer in the 80s. Then Dior , Versace, Dolce & Gabbana & Roland Mouret among other gay designers all made clothes for curvy women.
Someone who played a big role in pushing thinner (and more interchangeable) models in the 90s was a female designer, Miuccia Prada.
So I think it's more complex than 'gay men design only for ultra-slim women'. I think it's more about trends cycling back and forth in extreme ways and weird views in the industry generally (female editors like Anna Wintour have been complicit in unhealthy looks being encouraged).
I definitely agree that if most designers were straight men models would be mainly Victoria's Secret type & more curvy though.

Yes, that's a good point - I meant more that (I have heard) that skinny women without as many curves are easier to fit, and the clothes often hang on them better, so models are often chosen for that practical reason by gay men (and straight women, as you point out) rather than what appeals to straight men sexually. But I didn't phrase that very well, haha.

Agree. It’s a large part of what makes them interesting.

As OP said about being beautiful / being called beautiful: I'm supposed to pretend I don't believe them or I haven't noticed which is such an interesting observation and one I think many people might be able to see is true.

But here she felt able to say it and it opens up a more honest discussion - ironically given the accusations and judgments she’s getting as a result. Although I think that’s all still part of a conversation like this and understanding and observing people’s different reactions to it.

I think you’ve missed the quotation of who you were responding to, just letting you know in case you were hoping for a response.

it’s likely that if you was of the typical model aesthetic that you would have most likely been scouted

This is mad! I scouted for my agency for years (I preferred it to being in front of a camera, and could scout while doing conventional work). You really don't scout for 'typical model aesthetic' apart from height, shape, teeth and reasonably clear skin. Have you looked at Vogue since 1965? A successful model needs to have something 'extra', which is often unusually-proportioned features or being a man.

OP's already described her appearance. She's small, gamine and dark-haired. 5'3" women don't get fashion work because they don't make the clothes for her height.

Ah right, I see. Yes definitely. It's interesting, I was reading how in the 90s there was this feeling that supermodels had got too much power over designers and so there was a push for thinner, more anonymous models- so the clothes would be more of the focus. And as you say, designers often say anyway that clothes hang better on thinner models.
I don't think that's a reason for designers to promote extreme thinness though, they clearly managed to design back in the 80s bombshell supermodels.

Being a man? Do you mean the rise in trans models like the one who was in Euphoria, Hunter Schafer? I agree that's worrying... Hopefully there's not very many available though. Most young trans people are transmen not transwomen and I don't think most older transwomen are really model material.

Trust me, you can disappear down a lot of rabbit holes when you start noticing the hands & feet of some models! I really try not to, I do my own nut in. It's annoying as a principle, to me anyway, because of the fact that female fashion models are already taller, thinner and straighter of shape than most women. Using males to model women's clothing takes that a (perhaps inevitable) step further. Still ... it's fashion, dahling 😏

Nice reply @Flyingintotheunknownyou sound and come across as an utter bitch trying to knock someone down. @ImImmortalNowBabyDoll I wouldn’t give her a moment more if your time and your spikes so far are measured and lovely, well done for not loosing your shit. 😱

What? My mother is a bit into conspiracy theories and one of them is the transvestigation one. I always thought she was being silly, but now I wonder if she was then onto something...

Ohhhh another one quoting me to start an argument. But you don’t sound like a ‘bitch’ in your comment to me no? Are you now going to accuse me of trying to derail the thread too? Maybe you should go back in reversegear like your username and practice what you preach!

Oh a comedian as well.

What are you trying to achieve? What’s your purpose in keep responding? Goading? An argument? What? I have already explained numerous times to other posters who thought it was ok to have a pop at me that this is an AMA thread and I asked the op a few questions about her safety. So after I have explained myself, why did you also feel the need to quote me? What’s your issue and what are you trying to achieve by derailing the thread?

To an extent, yes, in that I have tended to be a manic pixie dream girl to a lot of men. Also an assumption that I'm going to be a pretty accessory to take places and then getting shocked when I have opinions. It's funny the previous poster saying about me choosing to be objectified as a model- I never felt so objectified as when men were fighting over me or when I was taken to a business dinner.

We were once playing a game as a family where we all came up with one word to describe each other and my daughter and stepdaughter instantly said "beautiful" and that stung slightly because I would like at least my family to recognise me for more than my face!

I'm creative, I'm caring, I'm fiercely protective over those I love, and I think I'm funny too which are all things they came up with eventually but that was their go to.

They hear it all the time though, whereas they don't hear people say I'm other things. DD pointed me out in the supermarket to a lady she was talking to and straight away the lady said, "Oh, your Mummy is beautiful!' and one of her friends can never remember my name and just calls me "the beautiful one". It's kind of sweet because she's 5. 😂

@GarlicFound and yes, it would be churlish to say I wish I wasn't pretty because I can't quantify the benefits I've had from it but I'm sure they exist. A bit like I can't say what benefit I've had from being white or having a posh voice, but I'm sure it has given me a smoother ride through the world.

Interesting thread, OP, and funny how some PPs can't stomach your objective assessment of yourself and think you need taking down a peg or two.

My best friend at school joined late (age 16) and was so beautiful that we were all too scared to talk to her. For some reason, a teacher took me aside and said she'd noticed the new girl was friendless, and perhaps I could make an effort with her. So I made some daft joke in the toilets one day and to my amazement, she fell about laughing. We got on like wildfire and were good mates for many years, before life naturally led us in different directions.

I suppose it just goes to show how deeply ingrained it is to judge females on their appearance.

Out of interest, why are people scared to talk to beautiful people? I see that mentioned several times on this thread, and I can't understand it at all!

I think it was just that we were all in awe of her. It wasn't just that she was beautiful, it was also that she hadn't grown up with us and gone through all the hideous phases, so she just arrived all serene and polished!

Maybe it's a bit like the "resting bitch face" - she had a "resting exquisite face" that sort of made you want to admire her from afar 🌞

Huh. I've never experienced that – being nervous to get to know someone new at school who's 'cool' and trendy, yes, but never because of their prettiness. How interesting!

Well I suppose she was the ultimate terrifying school contemporary for insecure female teens: beautiful, cool, trendy, no awkward history of the clumsy social skills we'd all taken so long to learn, and finally - aged 17 - she started driving a red sports car to school, while the rest of us were getting the bus and the idea of a driving licence seemed as unlikely as being a commercial airline pilot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it wasn't just her beauty, I guess, but adding that extra WOW factor in certainly didn't help make her seem any more approachable by mere mortals 😁

Ha, luckily/unluckily I was never "cool" and didn't grow into myself until University so never had that, at least not at school! And I still can't drive now.

🤣🤣🤣

Well, I can drive, but as for the rest... 😬

Come to think of it, it wasn't exactly fear that stopped us talking to her. Looking back, given the way social dynamics operated in a girls' school, being friends with someone like that would guarantee you instant status and I suppose none of us felt qualified to claim her as our personal prize. (I suppose not unlike how some blokes must feel about dating a beautiful woman.)

There was nothing special about me at school, so I will always be grateful to that teacher for suggesting I make friends with this fabulous creature.

I can't imagine that ever happening at my old school. I don't think anyone was overly awed by looks, unless they wanted to bang the other person - the sports car, though, would've earnt her hordes of people wanting to be her friend, if only to cadge rides 😂

From her last comment, apparently not.

Which comment? My last comment was just saying I wasn't "cool" at school.