I've been a prostitute on and off since I was a young adult. AMA.

[IAMAthroway]

Just that, really. I am drunk and bored, and I've noticed in the past on MN, many sweeping statements made about sex workers that I don't always agree with (i.e we are all brainwashed into thinking we are happy with our career choice, but really we are miserable)

For background, I started when I was 19, maybe late 18. I got into it because I was lapdancing and noticed those who offered "extras" after hours made 3x what I did. I was young and stupid, and sex just felt like sex to me, so it was quick, easy money. I left when I was 23/24 and met DH.

I got back into it when I was in my early 30s and left DH with nothing to my name, but left again when DH and I agreed to a suitable child maintenance arrangement, and I could afford to live.

I went back into it 2/3 months ago when possible redundancies were announced at my work, and I realised benefits covered only around 2/3 of my basic outgoings. I am in my early 40s with two adult children who still rely on me. DS is in uni, and DD has just started an NMW job; both still live with me.

If your ex husband left all his assets to your DD why are you still supporting her financially? Surely she should be paying her way and reduce your financial “need” to do sex work?

Lovely story, thank you for sharing. You shed light on a lifestyle choice which mystifies, scares and intrigues the rest of us. Beautifully written, without a hint of self-pity. You’re obviously intelligent and articulate. In your early 40’s now with grown up children … before too long you’ll be free to consider widening your lifestyle choices and put your head instead of your body to work. What’s life gonna hold for you in your early 50’s? Meanwhile, be careful, be discreet and maintain your self-respect. Your beauty comes through from deep inside. Best wishes.

But I also can’t say no to my FT job because my bills need paying. It doesn’t mean my employer is coercing me.

@IAMAthroway have you ever had female clients?

As an ex sex worker albeit a dancer not a prostitute, I agree with this. Not all of the men are awful characters.

Unless you’re employer is sticking their dick in your arse it’s not really a comparison

They are the one but I’m mean there’s something slightly psychopathic about thinking on a Tuesday afternoon. I know what I’ll do for 150 quid. I’ll go and sleep with somebody who under no normal circumstances would allow me to sleep with them.
I had a friend who was an escort and she said 99.9% of them were in relationships/married so that does in fact make them awful people. About once a month, the phone number would be discovered in his phone and she’d have to deal with the crying girlfriends.

It's extremely odd to think that any man who pays to have access to a woman's body is anything but a prick, at absolute best.
Op, my blood runs cold at the thought of you going back to mens hotels and houses. I wish you nothing but safety and eventual escape from this nightmare. I'm so sorry for the childhood you endured too.

Or maybe she's a kip at the minute? Since it's still the crack of twat in the morning.

I struggle with the description of prostitution as a ‘profession’.

Is £100 ‘a go’ standard? That doesn’t seem very much? Presumably that’s ’just’ (sorry for the wording!!) standard sex. Given you’re meeting these men in unfamiliar locations, have you got any sort of safety net at all? I can’t believe how deeply unsafe this is for, honestly, not very much money, and that’s before you get into how the sex itself makes you feel surely? I just cannot see how it’s worth it, if you’re a qualified beautician and could, presumably, earn rather well from that.

ETA do you really just rely on them sounding okay over message? As a very high profile example, ted bundy was, reportedly, very charming to his victims to get them where he wanted them.

It IS legal to sell sex in the UK. It's pimping or owning a brothel which are illegal.

There are some very, very ignorant comments on this thread.

Having a closed mind hasn't ever got humanity anywhere.

Do Thai women tend to sell sex here? I thought generally a lot of poor Thai women feel pushed into it, but in Thailand.

Re your daughter - you say she has min wage job and lives with you so that’s a reason you need the money but

a) even on a min wage job if she’s living with you she’ll have hardly any living costs so doesn’t need your help and could contribute a small amount towards her keep if you need it

b) you said her dad left her all his assets when he died!

If the OP doesn’t show her face ( and a lot of escorts / prostitutes don’t ) and she hasn’t got any identifying marks like tattoos or she had them hidden then people won’t necessarily know her

Who gives a fuck what these waste-of-skin men think of her. Their opinion on anything isn't worth a dime.

A lot of average men pay for sex, unfortunately. They may not all be ugly/bad at sex though definitely they're all morally suspect

The sex workers I have met through work have also done it on and off. They unfortunately also live chaotic lives. Dependence on cocaine and alcohol is rife. Offered by clients, used to get through a booking. Do you recognise this within yourself? You are in your 40s. How long do you plan on continuing with this as a way to earn money?

How do you feel about not paying tax on this income thereby avoiding paying for public services like the rest of us do?
Presumably you use the NHS, your kids went to school, you drive on the roads, etc.

Hi, thanks for been so brave sharing your amazing story.
I feel for you that you have been put in financial situations that mean you’ve had to, and I hate that women ever need to do this but I applaud you too!
I imagine many men are lonely and gentle, and just want their needs met - I bet voluntary prostitution has saved loads of SA (although I bet lots of prostitutes have experienced it too)

I hope you find your way out and remain safe.