I've been a prostitute on and off since I was a young adult. AMA.

[IAMAthroway]

Just that, really. I am drunk and bored, and I've noticed in the past on MN, many sweeping statements made about sex workers that I don't always agree with (i.e we are all brainwashed into thinking we are happy with our career choice, but really we are miserable)

For background, I started when I was 19, maybe late 18. I got into it because I was lapdancing and noticed those who offered "extras" after hours made 3x what I did. I was young and stupid, and sex just felt like sex to me, so it was quick, easy money. I left when I was 23/24 and met DH.

I got back into it when I was in my early 30s and left DH with nothing to my name, but left again when DH and I agreed to a suitable child maintenance arrangement, and I could afford to live.

I went back into it 2/3 months ago when possible redundancies were announced at my work, and I realised benefits covered only around 2/3 of my basic outgoings. I am in my early 40s with two adult children who still rely on me. DS is in uni, and DD has just started an NMW job; both still live with me.

I'm not sure this is coercion . She's weighed up the options and has chosen to sell sex. It's a crappy situation imo but it doesn't seem as if she has no other option to keep body & soul together

Yes, my mother was single and luckily my grandmother supported us, but I can imagine she would have done this to give me a better life if she had felt there was other option.but I would never have wanted that. I'm sure OP's kids might well prefer for their mother to be safe from STDs, potential violence etc

This. Ultimately, a man who pays for sex is a man who sees a woman as less than human - an object that exists purely for his use.

Can anyone do it? Do you need to be slim with perky boobs?

How do you work out what you pay for tax?
Do you get a uniform rebate?

I know you mentioned lap dancing / parlours at the beginning but have you seen the methods for finding clients change a lot through the time you’ve been sound this, given the fast changing technological front.

Also, if you don’t mind me asking, but how long has it been since first starting and now and has there been any change in type of client and demand based on change in age? Thank you!

I don't agree that I don't have self-respect. I understand why you think that, but I don't. You think I don't have any other option, but I do. I am degree-educated. I could choose to show my credentials, and it would get me places, but it would get me to places a lot less sooner.

How do you deal with the utter contempt that men who use prostitutes feel for you? Reading some of the "reviews" they leave makes it obvious that they think of you as a living flesh light that they can use as they like, because they've bought you/your orifices. (Particularly German men, for some reason) I'm sure you know that many if not most of your clients have porn brain rot which often leads them to treat prostitutes quite badly in pursuit of their fantasy/fetish. In my former job I needed to speak to many men like this, and the dehumanisation of the prostitutes that they used (used being the perfect word) was very distressing to listen to.
What do you think of the Nordic model?

The fact that you have other options is precisely why it's clear you have very little self-respect. You could do something else and be comfortable, but instead you choose to continue to allow men, who see you as nothing more than a sexual object, to use you. I can understand why, but it's very sad.

Exactly....having children doesn't mean you should sacrifice your physical dignity & safety like that, and most children wouldn't want that.

Wouldn't it be better to develop other skills? In the long run, wouldn't it be more satisfying to develop a job based on mental/physical skills that aren't primarily sexual ones?

Do you ever orgasm during this work?

Hi OP

Do you kiss your clients?

If you’d had a better mum/parents, do you think your life would have turned out differently?

Thanks in advance x

I wanted to ask what you think about the Nordic model, too, @IAMAthroway. It's based on criminalising the customers for using prostitutes. The prostitutes should receive help and support to earn a decent living another way.

Leaving the sex aspect out of the question, what do you dislike most about the work? And leaving the money out of it, what is the best aspect of the work?

What actually happens when you get there? Say you meet a brand-new client who's never hired a sex worker before - are they just expecting to get straight into the physical stuff with no chit chat, or do you get to know each other a bit first and develop things from there? Who makes the first move?

So do you only charge about £100 for sex? That seems very cheap to me. I thought - hoped - it would be more. Is that enough for you?

You said you're drunk. Do you need alcohol to work?
I've met several sex workers, mainly through a job a few years ago (so only a small amount), but each of them had an abusive childhood, as you do. With that in mind I don't believe you have as much self esteem as you think, more that you believe it's not awful in comparison to the periods of abuse. You never had a level playing field to make a rational opinion of such 'work.'
Unless I've missed it, how would you feel if your DC found out? Obviously, this is my personal opinion, but as an adult DC I'd be devastated to find out DM turned to sex work so we didn't feel we missed out. By your own account you state the lowest income level (benefits) was fairly generous back then. Not only that you say you're a graduate, choices were made. Even now you say you're doing it to help support them, they're adults and don't need your help. Yes, money makes their life easier, but you can't possibly think they would let you choose it or approve what you're doing in order to give them a more comfortable life?
The sex worker I knew most was also a graduate. Some of the acts she performed (she was very open) I had to look up and I thought I was fairly worldly. To say they were degrading is a huge understatement. She said no man paid for five minutes of 'vanilla.' They could get that anywhere. They all wanted their (in my opinion peverse) fantasy because they were paying.
I saw her slip into alcoholism and drugs, jumping from one disastrous relationship to the next. I think those pricks partners were actually worse because they were happy to live off her and the abuse (and it was abuse) she suffered. If she wasn't suffering she wouldn't have needed alcohol and drugs before she met her clients.

If

Thank you for your honesty & your AMA thread.

Do you have a naturally high libido?

Do you ever enjoy the sex?

Do you ever have sex with a client you find physically repulsive?

What age has your youngest & oldest client been?

Hi OP,
My questions are

To find clients, are there specific websites/apps that you become a member of? Or is it more you advertise in random places with a special code message and clients know?

You mentioned that some clients want to be friends but you dont like that. Do you find in your line of work that as a whole, you have more returning customers or is it more common to have one time only?

Do you have a set price list? Or do you charge different prices at different times?

Thanks

Are you 'TV attactive". Blonde/brunette, slim, very smiley and no tattoos etc?