Police officer's wife AMA

[lifeonthelane]

I've noticed that there seem to be a certain perception of police on here... particularly as a partner/spouse. I'm married to a police officer and there is definitwly a certain lifestyle that goes with this so AMA!

Yes. But i try to put it to the back of my mind as we just have to accept the risk and get on with our lives. We have a really robust (expensive!) life insurance policy, it was a priority when he joined as we need the kids to have security if the worst were to happen. We're very pragmatic about it.

I’m sitting here absolutely agog that someone would start this thread about their bloody husbands job. I’m married to a bobby, what’s the lifestyle? You are basically married to a shift worker, you may as well start a thread saying my husband works shifts and occasionally gets a rest day cancelled ama. The interesting stuff, well the bloody depressing part of it dealing with the people you can’t tell us about as he shouldn’t be telling you.

Not really. He has mates on his shift but we don't socialise with families. We do have neighbours who are also a police family though and we get on brilliantly with them - they get the realities of it.

No, he's a really good guy.

Why would you? That’s like saying to someone who works at Tesco do you socialise with the families of other Tesco workers! Which you wouldn’t ask!

Sorry guys. I didn't mean to post and run - my daughter was sick (and my husband at work!) So I got distracted in the aftermath 😅 would have saved it for another night if I'd known!

If someone posted an ama about it I would. Why not?

Not at all. He tells me stories about who is shagging who at work 🙄 and it definitely is an issue. He was warned about "force divorce" when he first joined. But I trust him completely.

People can ask an AMA on absolutely anything and considering there have been questions about abuse, I think it’s a good one.

Ah now this is interesting. Is he not allowed to talk to you about work stuff? In his force they are encouraged to talk to partners rather than bottle it up - very clear about no details being shared, but he's encouraged to talk about his experiences and he does.

Are you disappointed he’s ended up in a low pay shift work job with few prospects?

He's only been in a few years (career change in his 30s), so the job fatigue hasn't hit him yet. He tried CID and hated it - too office based, which doesn't suit him.

Oh nice! What did he so before?

Wtf seriously? So you think we dont need police officers do you? 😄

We're both in middle earning public sector jobs. We work long hours and it's frustrating that pay/prospects are so limited. May have chosen different careers in hindsight. BUT we are safe, warm, fed and our kids have reasonable opportunitues and nice lives. We're more fortunate than a lot of people.

Worked in care (kids with SEND needs). The pay was terrible and we struggled to make ends meet, so although he found it rewarding, it wasn't enough. Although a middle-earning role, the structured pay progression appealed to him. And he's a real diplomat!

I didn’t say we don’t need police I said it was a low pay job.

He may have intentionally chosen the career instead of a more financially rewarding one hence the question.

On top rate as a PC, with all of his additional paynents (overtime, anti-social hours allowance), it's almost triple what he was on when he worked in care. It doesn't feel low paid to us. We'll never be "well off" but we never struggle to pay a bill or feed oyr kids either.

Does he know you’ve started this thread?

Do the two of you make off duty use of his handcuffs?

The PP did not in anyway say this, don't be bizarre

How does he feel about being unarmed? Does he feel like he is often in situations where his personal safety is at risk?

Do you find it hurtful that a high percentage of people are asking mean or dismissive questions? Do you encounter judgement and sneery tone in real life? I have had a lot of good experiences with police and also know several thoughtful, kind, police officers- we need more of them, and it sounds like your husband is one of the good ones!

This happened twice to DH growing up as his Dad was in the police. They just got bundled in the car and his mum just got on with the holiday and 3DC.

People are so rude. He’ll probably get a better pension than most of us at a younger age so not such an unwise choice

It’s all relative. The point I was making is that public sector jobs tend not to appeal to those who would do well in the private sector.

It takes a very principled person to turn down a career with a large 6-figure salary in favour of public service.

I think that’s a fundamental problem for the public sector but not sure how you can resolve it.