Police officer's wife AMA

[lifeonthelane]

I've noticed that there seem to be a certain perception of police on here... particularly as a partner/spouse. I'm married to a police officer and there is definitwly a certain lifestyle that goes with this so AMA!

My DH used to be in the police, I was working shifts, it was a nightmare trying to juggle everything.
It's true that they can get held on at work at the last minute, get annual leave cancelled, have to go the court on their days off etc.

It can be really hard to plan things, he would have to work both Christmas and New Year some years.
I can understand why some partners would find it hard and relationships break down due to the different shifts and working a lot of weekends but I worked shifts, nightshifts etc so knew what it was like.
I knew he wouldn't have behaved like some of the police that we hear about, they are not all bad. He's never been into "lad" culture, doesn't really go out much etc.
Now we are both in jobs with mainly "normal " hours which is good.
I think he still misses the police a bit though, the emergency calls, the support the other officers give each other in difficult situations etc.
He doesn't miss the politics or all the paperwork though.

We used to live next door to a DS, perfectly normal guy/family. We socialised with them relatively regularly. Definitely not abusive and never noticed any racism.

They were great neighbours, even once mowed our front lawn for us while we were on holiday!

What do you think he'd do if your kids started getting involved in crime. Say dealing cannabis? Or maybe using harder drugs?

Oh yes. A useful question. It’s highly likely that somebody would say “no“, isn’t it?

What's his level of education and what does he think about it becoming a degree profession?

And this is your useful question, is it?

This is a good question.

It makes me so angry when people insult police officers. The people who do wouldn’t be brave enough to put their lives in danger every day. It’s disgusting

I think that’s a rather bitter comment, would you say that about a nurse or paramedic?

He’s retired , but no he never did. Now potentially because it just did not bother him so he didn’t feel the need to but they also have the chaplain and other professional support on tap. But he shouldn’t be discussing cases with you.

I don’t know, it’s just not sitting right with me. And the thing about yours not seeing any misogyny racism etc , that is absolute bollocks , of course he does , I work in financial services and I see it. It’s everywhere.

Well quite. Now the pension isn’t any good it’s not great is it.

I wouldn’t call it low pay with no prospects. Even if he never moves up the ranks a top rate PC is high forties which for most people could give a good life. Plus he very much could move up the ranks. I would also argue being able to retire at 60 with a strong pension is a great prospect for most.

but it is true. The pay is not good for the level of risk and the absolute grind of spending every day dealing with scumbags, people threatening to take their own lives and people whom the state should be looking after in appropriate medical facilities to deal with their mental illnesses.

Do people realise how much they pay each month for their pension????

which job is harder - police or teaching?

If they were 20 year old men holding signs supporting isis you would expect the police to do something. They chose to be arrested as they refused to give their details knowing that it would lead to arrest. The people behind the protests probably gave the oldest people the signs in order for the police to get more criticism for arresting someone’s granny. The footage from Northampton showed the police to be patient, polite and respectful to the arrested protesters.

Oh god don’t bring logic into it!! That won’t go down well.

It's not actually that weird a question. My husband and I are both fire service and you do sort of end up hanging out with mostly other fire service people. You basically spend half your life with these people in a really high stress, high demand job so it's not that unusual that they become your main social circle too (helps if you're all on the same watch so you have the same time off!)

Exactly, or say ‘the police’ like they are one homogenous group. The UK has various police forces, all with their own problems, budgets etc etc. Every profession, especially ones where power is exerted has bad eggs, the majority aren’t though.

Yes, we were looking together this morning.

🤣🤣🤣

What one thing would make his job better?
He must come home distressed sometimes with some of the things he’s seen. How do you both cope?
Would you be happy if your kids joined the police?

Im thankful we have the police we do in the UK.

I think this poster has been grilled pretty unkindly as much as there are issues in the Police force and especially The Met without The Police there would be anarchy. Just wanted to say well done to him for doing such a thankless task. I would imagine not knowing what he is walking in to on any given day is stressful for you. My friends DS is a police officer and she really worries about him being assaulted.

He absolutely doesn't want to be armed - hates the idea of it. He is one of very few taser officers and has only ever drawn it twice.

When he joined, the welcome speech from a high ranking officer said "Welcome to the most hated profession in the uk, where everyone knows how to do your job better than you do. Apart from maybe teachers." Made us chuckle because I'm a teacher. The negative attitudes don't bother us, they usually come from people with little or no real life experience of knowing police officers personally. I've seen sooooo many negative comments about them on here, which is why I wanted to do an AMA.