I turned down induction at 41 weeks. 6 days later my baby was stillborn. AMA

[willowwonder]

This happened over a decade ago now, so while it isn't raw and I am happy to answer questions - please be kind and remember I am a real person.

The background is this was my first pregnancy. I was in my 20s. I did an online hypnobirthing course which presented induction as a thing to be avoided at all costs. As I approached and then passed my due date, I saw a lot of info online around how a full term pregnancy is anything up to 42 weeks. I read stories of women declining induction and some even having their babies at 43+ weeks.

So when I had my 41 week midwife appointment, I was quite relaxed about declining induction. It was presented to me in a very optional way too - I think she said "we can book you in for induction now, or wait and hopefully it will happen naturally in the next few days". So I didn't feel like I was staunchly refusing medical advice.

I think that the bigger contributing factor was that I never had any continuity of care, the midwife at that appointment was one I had never seen before. Maybe something could have been picked up if I was being cared for by someone who knew me?

Saying that - obviously if I had been induced at 41 weeks, my daughter would likely have lived.

How do you feel towards NCT and other keen proponents of natural birth? Asking because I feel I've been radicalised against them by my own near-catastrophic birth experience, I think their advice is dangerous. But obviously I struggle to be objective.

I am so so sorry for your loss, but that was absolutely not your fault. Thankfully there is more care offered nowadays so people declining an induction get regular checks, so they would have seen your baby in distress, they had me in for an hour at least every day checking for abnormalities in baby's heart rate and everything, scans every 3 days.

Thank you for sharing your story,

I was over 41 weeks, and I had to push to get a date for my induction, otherwise, they would have been happy to have left me. I ended up with an emergency C-section as the baby was distressed.

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I am so sorry. Did you ever find out why? It must be a terrible addition the loss, the wondering what may have been different.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I was booked for an induction with my twins at 36 weeks and the midwife who was monitoring me a few days before was really dismissive of the consultants decision to bring it forward (they don’t know everything) and (plenty of growing room yet) it really made me doubt myself. I went ahead with induction and all was well. I’ve always thought her advice was really dangerous though a midwife that I’d never seen before telling me I should wait to give birth naturally when all my stats were showing I was developing pre-eclampsia.

I do think there are excellent Midwifes but there are some who’d push for a “natural” birth above all else. Lots of women don’t necessarily need any intervention but no one has a crystal ball to say whose child will be fine to wait.

So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story, it may help someone in a similar situation, including all the details such as midwife not giving you clear guidance.

Big hugs and be kind to yourself just as you would be to a friend who was going through this sad time.

Did you have reduced movements? Were you not monitored daily if declining an induction?

Sorry for your loss x

What, if anything, are you hoping to get from this AMA or what do you want to provide for others?

Also, would you like to share anything about your child with us so we can remember them with you. I'm sorry for your loss and appreciate you speaking about this xx

That's heartbreaking OP.
There was a lack of care at the end of your pregnancy.
The doctor should have explained the risks of not going ahead with an induction at such a late stage or proposed a C-section instead.

I am so sorry for you loss xx

I'm really sorry for your loss OP. That must have been a terrible thing to go through, and you being so young too.

But I really hope people don't take your story as some kind of proof that delaying induction = still birth. For what it's worth, I declined induction in favour of regular monitoring, went to 40 + 13 and DD was born just as the clock turned to 40 +14. At home. Safely. I'm not some free birth nut - it was an NHS birth attended by 2 midwives.

In any case, ours are just two individual stories. One with a tragic ending. One with a happier one. But they're not evidence of the safety or not of induction, home birth, going past due dates, etc. There are statistics out there on birth safety and that's what I used to guide me.

So sorry for your loss.

I was given conflicting information on induction from the GP and the midwife and opted to follow GP's advice.

Baby was fine but of course if she hadn't been I would always have wondered if I should have followed the midwife instead.

Sometimes it just isn't clear what the right decision is.

This is interesting as I was pressured to get induced at around 41.5 weeks, which ultimately led to an EMCS. I've always felt like if I could go back in time, I would have refused the induction.

I was warned of the risk uterine death, however the way it was delivered felt blunt and as a matter of fact.

I suppose your experience reveals an alternative reality (sorry for the loss). I'd be interested to read further details. As you say, many women do give birth overdue without any issues. In fact, I think full-term is considered at 40 weeks in every country.

This happened to my aunt with her third baby. She was so over her due date, and was told to continue waiting because she’d had two healthy natural births before - baby died a couple of days later and she had to deliver her little boy stillborn - it really messed her up and she never had another baby. She was in her 40s so I’m amazed they allowed it to drag on like they did.

The hospital actually admitted fault.

A woman in my pregnant yoga group also had severe complications after being told to go home and wait. It was her second so they said her body knew what to do. It didn’t and she ended up with an emergency section under general, a collapsed lung, and on a ventilator. It was absolutely shocking. She was only 32. She is okay now and thankfully baby lived - but her parents flew in from her home country to say goodbye and take care of her toddler.

I had everything wrong with my pregnancy: severe polyhydramnios, very large baby, footling breech, facing backwards and stargazing - and was still told I should 100% go natural by midwives - who insisted baby was head down and ready - despite me having weekly scans which showed clearly that wasn’t the case at all! Fortunately she was an IVF baby so my consultant managed to book for me an elective section. The surgeon said we would’ve not made it through a vaginal birth. I’m forever grateful I was listened to. The midwife never even bothered speaking to me or visiting after, and my health visitor offered her commiserations that I hadn’t been able to ‘do it the natural way’.

It’s ridiculous women’s lives are risked in search of going back to medieval times when women routinely died in childbirth.

Thank you for sharing. Do you know why the baby died?

You definitely should never ever blame yourself. We can only make what we feel is the best decision at the time.

I'm so sorry you lost your baby. That must have been heartbreaking.

I wish people would realise how little medical knowledge they actually have. It was the same with Covid vaccinations with people saying all sorts of things when they had literally no idea about vaccinations or risks.

Well, I thought the heartbeat was slow compared to previously, but the midwife said it was normal. Which links to the previous point about continuity of care.

Thank you for being kind.

I've just come back to this, so bear with me. Answering questions now.

Not a full autopsy no. There was no reason found basically. Apparently that is quite common.

Yes - 3 more actually! I've been very lucky. They are all so lovely. I feel like having 4 babies in total has had a big toll on my body. After the last baby, my recovery was so slow.

Yeah, it is such a massive decision. I understand why women don't want inductions, 100%. And I am not here saying 'induce at 41 weeks or your baby will die'. But it can happen.

I wasn't monitored daily, not at all. I had my 41 week appointment and then nothing until 6 days later when I phoned them and took myself in for reduced movements. It was actually too late by that time. The reduced movements I felt, were I think the baby moving around due to my movements, not her actually moving herself. But I didn't know this at the time, it was only with later pregnancies that I had normal movements and something to compare to.

This happened to someone in my extended family this year. Heartbreaking. My sincere condolences.

That was a devastating read and I'm so sorry for your loss 💐xx

"It was presented to me in a very optional way too - I think she said "we can book you in for induction now, or wait and hopefully it will happen naturally in the next few days". So I didn't feel like I was staunchly refusing medical advice."

I would say that if induction was offered, even if lightly offered, there must be a reason behind it, otherwise it wouldn't have been presented to you in the first place. It's really hard to say whether or not your little one will have survived regardless of what you'd have chosen.

God this is choking me up.

Thank you for sharing your story as it really highlights the risks of going overdue.

Again I'm so very sorry xx

There is a very good fictional novel called So Thrilled For You where one of the main characters is anonymously trolling a hypno birthing account after having a traumatic birth.

It very acutely described how I felt after having an emergency section under GA. That it was my fault I wasn’t “calm enough” to release enough oxytocin. That my body was faulty because it didn’t in fact, instinctively know what to do etc.

I’m a big fan of consulting the NICE guidelines for anything medical and making sure health care professionals are following them, but there does need to be something done about the natural/hypno birthing industry. It’s becoming akin to the anti vax movement.

Nothing to say but I am so sorry for your loss and honour your courage in posting this thread.

I gave birth in a trust which is now a byword for maternity failure, and didn't see any midwife more than once. There was no-one above the level of junior midwife in the trust when my son was eventually born in a closed maternity unit.

I am afraid that advice is poor when there is inconsistency of care, and hope that your sharing your experience will help others as they prepare for maternity. I'm sure it will.