I turned down induction at 41 weeks. 6 days later my baby was stillborn. AMA

[willowwonder]

This happened over a decade ago now, so while it isn't raw and I am happy to answer questions - please be kind and remember I am a real person.

The background is this was my first pregnancy. I was in my 20s. I did an online hypnobirthing course which presented induction as a thing to be avoided at all costs. As I approached and then passed my due date, I saw a lot of info online around how a full term pregnancy is anything up to 42 weeks. I read stories of women declining induction and some even having their babies at 43+ weeks.

So when I had my 41 week midwife appointment, I was quite relaxed about declining induction. It was presented to me in a very optional way too - I think she said "we can book you in for induction now, or wait and hopefully it will happen naturally in the next few days". So I didn't feel like I was staunchly refusing medical advice.

I think that the bigger contributing factor was that I never had any continuity of care, the midwife at that appointment was one I had never seen before. Maybe something could have been picked up if I was being cared for by someone who knew me?

Saying that - obviously if I had been induced at 41 weeks, my daughter would likely have lived.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I think sharing your story is brave so it can give other potential mother's better choices (I'd add the choice of c-section as well to that).

I’m so sorry for your loss. It must have been devastating.
At the 41 week appointment I assume there was a clear heartbeat and all the signs were good?

Did you decide to have an autopsy and what were the findings?

I’m so sorry. This must have been horrific.

Did you go on to have any more children?

I'm so sorry.

I wish there were tighter controls on what can be shared online. I don't know how, but this is something that is happening more and more. Especially in the US.

Sending you care ❤️

I'm so sorry for your loss willowwonder

Sorry to hear this 💐. I don’t have any questions but it’s hard to know what would have happened. Inductions can go wrong too. It’s also hard on hospital staff as they want to give women agency to decide and like you say many women can have births later. I just mean I hope you’re not hard on yourself or others.

I'm so sorry for your loss and thank you for being brave in sharing your story. When I had my son 8 years ago I was in a similar position in that I'd also attended birthing classes that were very oriented to "nature doing it's thing" and anti any intervention such as induction. I went to 41 weeks and wasn't worried as in my family history my mum went 'overdue' by two weeks each time. I remember at 41+3 a midwife saying to me "you need to think about the safety of your child now" and although I was fuming (as I had been led to believe that declining induction WAS me thinking about my child's safety) I did relent. The induction process didn't go smoothly and me and baby ended up in theatre so I carried a lot of guilt around afterwards that I had gone for induction and not waited. I read your experience OP and it made me realise how much pressure we put on ourselves when pregnant to do "the best/ right" thing. I'm sure this is exactly where you were coming from in your decision making xx

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have heard of this happening too many times.

I am so sorry OP thats awful. When I had my eldest I did NCT and couldnt help but speak up when they were advocating turning down examinations/induction etc. HCPs dont recommend it for fun! I hope you have the family that you dreamed of x

💐 i'm so sorry you went through this OP.

Like a pp i was offered induction as safest for my baby. I was 'not allowed' to go past my due date due to my age (40) i was told the placenta would degrade and although i'd had 3 healthy natural births previously i listened to them. It was horrendous. Took ages. Baby was ok though - although v distressed. Heart beat almost stopping. The placenta was fine!

I have spent 10 years feeling guilty that i accepted the induction. Feeling i put my baby through a birth she wasn't ready for. So much guilt surrounding birthing choices!

My question is: were you monitored daily once overdue? x

I am so sorry, this is devastating. I was always wary of the estimation part of gestation and how it could be within two weeks either way. I don't even know if that's still a thing but I thought that was why induction was often recommended.

Did you do any monitoring of movements at that time?

I’m so sorry about this. I had to really, really force my consultant (and then threaten her with a PALS referral) for an induction on my due date and my son still almost died. Then the little bitch refused to see me and so I had to have all follow up appointments with my surgeon.

I am so sorry for your loss. Realistically we can only say probables not definites.
Had you had the induction your little one may not have survived and you did what you believed was the right thing for your baby. You were not advised it would be unwise to refuse the induction.
I hope you have come to peace with this 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss. It doesn't sound like you were given thorough medical advice in order to understand your options and you did what you thought was best for your child. Please be gentle with yourself

I am so sorry that your daughter was still born, my heart goes out to you and I am sending love to you and her

@caramac04 I was going to say the same thing. There’s no way to know whether the outcome would have been any different. Inductions may go wrong, and so may ‘natural’ births. It’s always a tragedy, and there’s no point in the ‘what ifs’.
I’m so sorry for anyone who has lost their precious baby, and attaching any guilt about the choices made, is totally unjustified. Be kind to yourselves.

I'm very sorry.

Do you know when the guidance changed? My son is 12. I went 14 days over and was only booked in for induction the day I gave birth naturally.

This was presented as entirely normal and no one suggested any increased risks - or any other options. I was also allowed to give birth in a midwife led unit as the hospitals are a long way (and he was quick so I wouldn't have made it).
Ideally I'd have been nearer a hospital but logistically it was difficult.

He did have some difficulties afterwards and was readmitted to hospital at two weeks old. I've always wondered if he should have been delivered earlier.

Edited to say I am adding this for context that has you been a year or so earlier, you may not have been given the option.

I’m so sorry for your loss and so moved by this post. Please would you tell your story of what happened; did you experience reduced movements?

Horrific. I’m so sorry.

I read this article recently about the dangers of “free birthing.” You’re not the only person to make mistakes after seeing something online.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/ng-interactive/2025/nov/22/free-birth-society-linked-to-babies-deaths-investigation

I had an elective caesarean because my maternity trust was failing and I didn’t trust them to keep me and baby safe in labour.

Thank you for sharing this. It’s good for women to be aware of the risk of going (too) long past the due date. I remember a friend telling me she would not go past her due date, as her mum had lost a baby that way. I did not even know that this could happen. (I too heard mainly about ‘try do to it the natural way’ … and not enough about risks involved). I’m really sorry for your loss, OP.

Oh OP I am so sorry for your loss, thankyou so much for being brave enough to share your story. Hopefully spreading awareness could save a life. I went through an induction and eventually had to have an emergency c section. Everything was going so well throughout the whole pregnancy so it takes you by surprise when theres complications at the end.

When I first went in I had my heart set on a water birth but I was in labour for 3 days after my waters broke and I just wasn't prepared/had my head in the sand and probably made wrong decisions in the hope of having a natural birth. Xx

Thank you for sharing your story. It is so important that pregnant women know the risks of going overdue

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

I was forced to go to 42 weeks before they would induce me, despite me asking to be induced earlier. It was 42 weeks and 3 days when my DD was finally born by emergency C-section. Without going into details, the delay nearly cost us both of us our lives. So, even when you ask, they don't always do it.

Be kind to yourself, you didn't know.

Double post, sorry