My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

Unfortunately that doesn't answer my question, are you comfortable to do so? I disagree with your safety comment, especially considering The Residential Schools Invesitgation reports approx. 40% of known child sexual abuse reports being as a direct result of residential institutions/schools, with specialist subject schools having a further increased risk.

With the alternative being?

If they were younger yes. My 7 year old goes to a UK curriculum school abroad. They wanted to be with their mates

Why did you have children if you don’t want to have them living at home with you?

Hating it? But they don’t so..

does this means you wouldn’t believe them if they disclosed it to you?

Do your children have a choice? If they wanted to stop boarding, would you accommodate that or would they have to stay?

How do thet feel about seeing you once a week? How does that work of you live abroad?

How do they feel about your youngest child still living with you?

They go to a boarding school , and we do see them and speak to them

Don't you worry about if there was an accident/emergency and you're not even in the same country?

I dread the thought of my kids growing up and leaving the nest. Can't imagine giving up that precious time to send them off to boarding school 😐

That’s an answer to a completely different question?

I have to admit, when I first read post, I wondered why op would think we wanted to ask anything!

How on earth can you feel comfortable seeing your children so little completely by choice?

Do you have family back in the UK who they see, does anyone here attend special days with them at their school. How long are they overseas for, will the 16 yo be going to a UK university.

Are you prepared for them to resent you in future for sending them away as young children (yes 11 is young) with rest of their childhoods spent away from parents?
I wouldn't have thought any amount of "prestige" is worth that.

If your husband works away, why didn't you choose to stay here with the kids?

Will your daughter board when she is 11+

did your husband's sisters, if he has any, board ?

What would you do if they needed to go to a day school for their own mental or indeed physical health? Have you got a plan B?

Are there any famous peoples’ children there?

Do you think that there are any downsides to your choice of sending them to board? If so, what do you think the downsides are?

Like everything they have their upsides and downsides. Personally I think that top boarding schools do a good job academically and sportingly and produce outwardly confident and resilient people.

OTOH, they are often quite emotionally stunted, as is natural when they have to guard their feelings most of the time. A barracks situation, even a top officers’ barracks, isn’t a normal situation to grow up in. And that’s effectively what a boarding school is.

The PP was pointing out that you could have stayed with them in England rather than following DH. Did you consider this?

Did you ever consider leaving your husband over this, or trying to change the longstanding expectations? A culture of boarding school in his family is a hard thing to stand against. But your posts give me the impression you would rather not have sent them, and that you are perhaps a trailing spouse. Was it hard to weigh up you being with them, versus perhaps giving up presumably lots of support and money (for you and them) which would happen if you split up?

I ask because a man who expected me to live apart from my own children would be a wholly distasteful and unattractive man to me and I wonder how you square it.

Aside from if we were divorced- which isnt ideal either - but at least he would be with them any time I wasn't. Or maybe that was the problem - if you divorced him he might try and send them to board anyway and that would be worse?

Do you have any concerns about how they interact with female work colleagues and friends in the future if they are spending about 7 years in an all male environment?

Each to their own. But you only get a few short years with children until they get to the age that they dont really need or want to spend time with parents.
Then the rest of the time you will try to see when they can fit in a lunch or family meal.
I think you are kidding yourself by saying it was for education reasons.
They could have still gone to a good school and lived with you .
You choose to live in a different country to them.

Absolutely ! Any hint of unhappiness and they would be out. I didn’t think the younger one would want to board as he said he said didnt want to when he was littler but he wanted to

if we are abroad at weekends they see their grandparents who live 5 mins walk away

Do you worry that they will resent your youngest child?