My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

And the question about why board when there are grandparents round the corner?

Amazing coincidence that their father's old school just happened to also be the right fit. How many others did you actually visit?

Why are you on Mumsnet during such limited time with your children?

Will they get into the Tory cabinet?

Can I just ask, with respect, why you would want to put this thread up?

Is it a UK based school? I wonder if they differ?

My DC are day boarders at UK boarding school but as they get older, they want to flexi more which is fine but of course we miss them (we live around the corner). It’s their choice.

School are hot on communication. Do you find the same? Conversely, one of our other DC goes to an alley day school and we have very little comms from their school and we feel much more detached from their day to day school life.

It’s an entirely different experience to 30 years ago.

I think it's interesting that you wouldn't want your daughter to go there. I certainly wouldn't put my daughter in that situation.

That made me snort laugh!

Why are you so detached? You'll need to make certain that you communicate and keep informed! That's really basic.

What makes the school ‘prestigious’ compared to other schools?

is your daughter school age? What schooling arrangements does she have?

What were the reasons for splitting from your boys and following their father overseas instead? I’m curious because the families I know who have a parent working abroad have all chosen to have the kids plus one parent in the UK with the one who works overseas coming home every 4-6 weeks to visit or work from the uK home or office for a bit.

How far away are you? How quick could you get to the boys in an emergency?

Will your DD's school also be a boarding school? If not, why would she be treated differently to your DSs?

You didn’t respond to this, @tummyduck.

Did you imagine you’re the only person on MN with children at boarding school? (Some of us have been posting, encouraging, advising on this topic, including scholarships and bursaries, for years, or maybe even decades - though people tend to drop off the boards when their own children leave.)

I think Boarding only got its own board relatively recently - in the hope of avoiding some of the clumsier trolling that happens on general education boards. People mostly believe boarding still means dropping your child off in September and then not seeing them until July. Whereas in fact, for parents in the same country as their child (or for diligent guardians / grandparents) the punishing regime of weekends / exeats / holidays can mean you spend half your life thrashing up and down the motorway, or on trains, picking up and dropping off. It’s even more relentless if you aim to attend concerts, plays, matches, housemaster’s events, charity shindigs, what have you.

So I guess any additional info here should be welcome.

Good question. Surely you’d want to soak up every minute of the extremely limited time you get to spend with them?

Exactly.

Many private day schools are stuffed full of very bright kids. But at over twice the price the boarding schools have to be led by the wallet.

My son just recently graduated from Durham , from a superselective grammar school

Durham is stuffed full of ex boarding school types. My son said most were pretty thick TBH

Do you wish you had done things differently so you could spend time with them and not miss out on such a huge chunk of their childhood?

Boys boarding schools are very much a shag fest.

There's no respect at all in that question

It may surprise you to know that some children thoroughly enjoy boarding

And their parents are still their parents

AMA are always weird like that. It’s Ask Me Anything but the OPs invariably get shirty and defensive when posters ask them anything 🫤

But they don’t live with you for a huge proportion of the year. I understand that there could be circumstances where it’s necessary for children to go to boarding school, such as if you live on an isolated island with no schools, but to dump your own children in a boarding school because you don’t want to give them a family upbringing, feels inhuman to me, irrespective of how prestigious you perceive the school to be. Of course it’s important to give your children a good education, but you don’t need to send them to a boarding school for that. They’ve hardly going to come out of that type of school as well rounded young men who understand the real world and have compassion and respect for other people.

Is this a fond memory? 😉

How much per annum do you spend on school fees for all your children?

What is your annual income?

What amount do you anticipate your children to inherit (each)?

I'm just curious about the size of their silver spoon.

My ex went to boarding school as his dad worked abroad, he was bullied but never said anything. It all messed him up quite a lot but he was absolutely convinced that it was all his decision and the very best thing his parents could ever have done for him.

He was weirdly obsessed with his parents as an adult, especially his mum. I couldn't really understand why he was so deluded about it all but maybe it's just what boarding school kids have to tell themselves to be able to cope with the abandonment.

Wouldn't you rather be in the UK with your kids then off with your husband?

What type of education are they given in regard to seeing the world from women’s point of view?

My DD recently encountered a boy from an elite, private, all boys school who thought rape jokes were funny. He was a nice boy too, which is why I was astounded that he hadn’t thought through what was clearly an acceptable joke in his world. All boys world.

Why would you want to grow use to it? We can afford boarding school as our daughter goes private but no way on this earth would I want to miss things like collecting her from school where we chat about her day - it is those little everyday things that are so precious. We moved last year for my husbands work and no way would boarding had been an option.

Then how did they manage to get the required A-levels?

Or does Durham just take anyone who fancies going?

Didn't you expect most people to be mad at you for having money? England thrives on national identity being linked to oppression and poverty. You have insulted the identity of many by suggesting you're not struggling with your finances and your kids have opportunities others didn't work for or can't attain for whatever reason. Shame on you! Don't you know we're all supposed to be financial clones?