My boys go to a prestigious boarding school. Ask me anything !

[tummyduck]

Ask me anything about my boys who board at an all boys’ school ! Any disrespectful questions will be ignored

And boys from the state sector are so better educated and informed from being in mixed sex schools, aren’t they. Toxic masculinity does not transcend wealth and social status

Why not have that silliness and joy all year round? Why would you follow your husband around rather than be a full-time mum to your kids?

Thank you. Yes, the impact on bursaries is a really sad side effect, I think. The school I work in has a 100% bursary scheme for children from deprived backgrounds who have had significant ACEs (Adverse Childhood Expriences). That won't be affected because it is funded by donations from former pupils so can't be repurposed for anything else. But our 'normal' bursaries that subsidise scholarships proprotional to parents' income will almost certainly be less available.

So many questions.

When they bicker at home, do you ever secretly think "can't wait until you're back at school" (and then possibly feel guilty?)

In fact, how are you feeling now at the mid point of the holidays with all 3 at home?

I'm reminded of the oh so true phrase I once read on here - motherhood is the minutae. Not the holidays, trips, birthdays or photo opportunities. Just the quiet, unplanned moments which are the real milestones.

That sounds like a flippant answer and you are not answering the crux of the question. Why have you prioritised your husband over your kids?

do you not think your lads will resent your daughter for travelling with you?

ship them to boarding school, and keep the girl behind?

just because your husband went, does not mean it should follow surely?

So, the tax payer pays 90% of fees, then you pay 10% plus anything over the maximum limits previously quoted? So with two kids at a school where the fees are over the maximum limit, that’s the best part of 70k contributed by the state? you may pay ‘a lot’ but it very much looks like the tax payer is paying a lot too for your choices!

less drug problems in boarding schools than state schools proportionally. They have education specifically about drugs

I think this thread is feeding the OPs narcissistic supply.... Clearly enjoying the conflict from a position of inflated sense of grandiosity and privilege 😴. And fyi attachment and the emotional needs of a child aren't a "parenting choice" as a few have suggested, it's biological fact. It might sit uncomfortably but it is not an evolutionary norm for a child to be away from their parental figure (whoever that may be) consistently for long periods of time. They may present as "fine" and "happy" because children are incredibly adaptable, but that does not mean there isn't also harm being caused.

I find it interesting that OP cites herself as a humanitarian whilst having zero concerns about the impact her frequent international travel might have on the people she is assisting, given that most NGOs have an eye on the climate crisis.

Nor the impact of her keeping her daughter with her whilst she travels, whilst her sons are engaged away from their family with falconry and bookbinding.

You absolutely did state that you paid for your sons’ attendance at the school and that you were happy your contribution funded the places of children less well off. Later you acknowledged that their places were funded due to your husband’s role in the military. Later again you said that you paid the majority of their fees yourself.

You have managed to convince yourself that what you’re doing is good for all your children. You rather dismissively suggest that people who had a difficult time at boarding school were just not up to it, rather than accepting that being separated from one’s primary carer at a formative age is deeply damaging however well-adjusted their parents convince themselves they are.

My DC just had a nightmare so I went to their room to soothe them. I cannot think of anything sadder than not being able to do that.

I think you were keen that this should be a respectful thread.

I did not suggest either of those things.

What I did state was factual - you are using far, far more than anyone's fair share of carbon.

What I asked was whether you had worked out just how much this was, and whether you felt any responsibility for your children's future.

You billed this as AMA, so... I am asking.

yes of course they scrap about, they are normal kids ! Actually feeling good about my day parenting today, have a friend of my son's with us, trip to the beach, made nutritional food which they didn't reject.. good family meal out..
could all fo wrong tomorrow though! In the holidays there are often ups and downs but I do find having older kids easier to manage than the toddler phases

OP - I’m disgusted and sorry that you have faced so much hostility on this thread. You and your DH are making a tremendous sacrifice for this country and you deserve our utmost support and respect. Thank you.

you seem to be in a different thread.. I have never been dismissive of others boarding school experience. it ain't for everyone though

I know lots of people who work very hard but wouldn’t be able to afford boarding school 🤷‍♀️

I hold my hand up and say I would love my children to board for part of a week at school (not the whole week though)

Do you have the data for this?

I categorically do not worry about my carbon footprint with my current commercial jet use. I hope that is clear.

it is really interesting to see how some people have no concept of what it involves to have military personel abroad.

And that mindset is one of the main reasons we are in this mess.

Next time you see a news article about crop failure, flooding or wildfires, you could try some personal reflection.

https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/books/
some valuable reading for you

god you have nailed it!!!!!! Thank goodness someone has seen the light.

Yuk this is verrrry poorly disguised 🙄.

and I’m out.

Yes - I went to one of these places. Hated every minute of it and wouldn’t send my kids there if you paid me.
If you’d asked my mother if I was happy, she’d have said yes too.