Page 6 | I’m a gay woman, as me anything!

TheMovieFlopped · 05/04/2025 23:08

Natural look or fake? What’s your take on plastic surgery?

Gattopardo · 05/04/2025 23:10

CornishcreamTeaPlease · 05/04/2025 22:55

Something has puzzled me for ages and I wonder if you'd be able to help.

Why do some gay women dress in a kind of uniform- hair in a quiff, suit style clothes, masculine clothes (thinking of Sue Perkins, Claire Balding.) Many gay women dress in ways that shout 'I'm gay!'

If they are hoping to attract other gay women, who aren't attracted to men, why would they want to look like a man?

Surely as a woman wanting to attract other women, you'd want to look as feminine as possible?

It seems odd.

Edited

Are you joking 😂😂 I mean come on!

How often do you question why hetero women wear their hair loose and long, wear figure hugging dresses?? take a wider view and stop normalising a (quite limited) view of hetero women. I’m much more aligned visually with your stereotypical lesbian with short hair and trousers but could not be less interested in women as sexual partners.

kittensinthekitchen · 05/04/2025 23:11

I didn't realise my music question would be contentious 😂

Lesina · 05/04/2025 23:12

Who is the better novelist, Virginia Woolfe or Enod Blyton?

Original poster

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 23:12

kittensinthekitchen · 05/04/2025 23:11

I didn't realise my music question would be contentious 😂

sorry I missed it.
I like oasis

OP posts:

abouttogetlynched · 05/04/2025 23:17

Are your parents still married?

GoldBeautifulHeart · 05/04/2025 23:18

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 21:38

Casual slurs used in work “that’s so gay” or calling someone fruity etc, not usually directed at me. when challenged people will always say they didn’t mean it like that, they are just joking, don’t take it to heart etc. or comments about there being so many gay people these days etc

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I thought being fruity was like an old fashioned word for someone being saucy, like cheeky humour which is sexual. Is fruity an offensive word to lesbian/ gay women? What does it mean? Sorry I had no idea that was a thing. I'm not really up on slurs.

painpain · 05/04/2025 23:19

Do you think society has improved in recent years or gone backwards in their attitude to gay people? My daughter is a masculine dressing lesbian leaving home soon for university. I worry that out in the bigger world she's going to experience hate that she hasn't had to deal with yet!

PickAChew · 05/04/2025 23:19

CornishcreamTeaPlease · 05/04/2025 22:58

But why? They don't like men in a sexual way so why do they want to resemble a man? They don't want to be men- they're not trans- they are very much women who want another woman as a sexual partner.

Edited

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Sue, and even Claire, might wear suits and not have long flickable hair but are still very obviously female.

And Superkins is Supercute, even if you think she looks like a man.

The fact that you're alluding to trans suggests that you're buying into gender stereotypes.

Jollyjoy · 05/04/2025 23:20

I am reading with interest but noting how conspicuously you are ignoring the questions about how you feel about LGB and T. It’s an AMA on MN, so you’d know those questions would be coming. I’m genuinely interested as I know lesbians who are very unhappy about men who describe themselves as women in their spaces. However online I see lesbians saying they are ok with this. I also had a lesbian friend at uni who heard I’m ‘a terf’ and doesn’t want to know me now. I’m curious as to what leads women to one stance or the other, and feel defensive of those who want a genuinely women only lesbian space, it seems grossly unfair they can’t have this. Do you agree or disagree? I’m not planning to try and argue if you see it differently, I am just interested.

Original poster

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 23:21

abouttogetlynched · 05/04/2025 23:17

Are your parents still married?

Yes

OP posts:

Original poster

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 23:21

painpain · 05/04/2025 23:19

Do you think society has improved in recent years or gone backwards in their attitude to gay people? My daughter is a masculine dressing lesbian leaving home soon for university. I worry that out in the bigger world she's going to experience hate that she hasn't had to deal with yet!

i think it’s much easier now to be an out lesbian and I hope she experiences that

OP posts:

CautiousLurker01 · 05/04/2025 23:23

Agapornis · 05/04/2025 22:59

I'm bi rather than lesbian but if she's still in secondary school - it'll be a bit shit right now because very little is aimed at under 18s, but your 20s will be so much easier, especially if she goes to love in a (big) city for a while. If she's going to uni there will be some societies. Cities have lesbian bars, club nights, sports clubs, and e.g. London has an LGBTQ community centre with lots of non-alcohol based social events.

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Yes, she’s going to a London uni, but is 19. We kind of encouraged it so that she would have a greater chance of finding her tribe and a more diverse range of LGB groups to connect with.

Namechangean · 05/04/2025 23:25

Forgot to quote

Moier · 05/04/2025 23:26

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 20:40

Why are you celibate?

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Because I'm severely disabled.. an ex through me under a moving bus and left me for dead.. he's in prison for attempted murder. Too painful for me now.

Namechangean · 05/04/2025 23:26

Jollyjoy · 05/04/2025 23:20

I am reading with interest but noting how conspicuously you are ignoring the questions about how you feel about LGB and T. It’s an AMA on MN, so you’d know those questions would be coming. I’m genuinely interested as I know lesbians who are very unhappy about men who describe themselves as women in their spaces. However online I see lesbians saying they are ok with this. I also had a lesbian friend at uni who heard I’m ‘a terf’ and doesn’t want to know me now. I’m curious as to what leads women to one stance or the other, and feel defensive of those who want a genuinely women only lesbian space, it seems grossly unfair they can’t have this. Do you agree or disagree? I’m not planning to try and argue if you see it differently, I am just interested.

It’s not really a lesbian issue though is it? Straight women also have opposing views on this. I don’t blame OP for not wanting to get into it regardless of what their views are.
But to answer your question neither me or my wife have any issues with trans women sharing women’s spaces. We see a parallel with how people are talking about trans women with how people were talking about lesbians 30-40 years ago.

Moier · 05/04/2025 23:29

lovemyfreedom · 05/04/2025 20:42

Either she dont like or want sex or she`s a nun.

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I'm severely disabled. An ex through me under a moving bus.. left me for dead.. he's in prison for attempted murder.. sex is too painful and l don't have a complete pelvis or vagina .. I'm 66 now.

Minecraftvsroblox · 05/04/2025 23:30

How did your friends take you being gay were they accepting?

Namechangeforobviousreasons100 · 05/04/2025 23:32

You mentioned you have children. My partner and I (both women) are trying to decide whether to have children. All of my friends are straight and all (as far as I know) have children who are biologically related to both them and their partner. Does it bother you at all that you and your partner couldn’t have children who combined both your DNA? It sounds from current medical advances like it might be possible in future, and it makes me sad this isn’t an option for me and my partner!

Original poster

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 23:33

Namechangeforobviousreasons100 · 05/04/2025 23:32

You mentioned you have children. My partner and I (both women) are trying to decide whether to have children. All of my friends are straight and all (as far as I know) have children who are biologically related to both them and their partner. Does it bother you at all that you and your partner couldn’t have children who combined both your DNA? It sounds from current medical advances like it might be possible in future, and it makes me sad this isn’t an option for me and my partner!

No doesn’t bother me at all. We each carried 1 child.

OP posts:

Namechangeforobviousreasons100 · 05/04/2025 23:33

Namechangean · 05/04/2025 23:26

It’s not really a lesbian issue though is it? Straight women also have opposing views on this. I don’t blame OP for not wanting to get into it regardless of what their views are.
But to answer your question neither me or my wife have any issues with trans women sharing women’s spaces. We see a parallel with how people are talking about trans women with how people were talking about lesbians 30-40 years ago.

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Great answer. My partner and I are also both very supportive of trans acceptance and inclusion

Minecraftvsroblox · 05/04/2025 23:33

Moier · 05/04/2025 23:26

Because I'm severely disabled.. an ex through me under a moving bus and left me for dead.. he's in prison for attempted murder. Too painful for me now.

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Oh my god some people are pure evil and he should never leave prison.

Moier · 05/04/2025 23:34

Threw

JustSawJohnny · 05/04/2025 23:34

I'm amazed anyone thinks being gay is something people even have question about, to be honest.

Namechangeforobviousreasons100 · 05/04/2025 23:35

Flowery41 · 05/04/2025 23:33

No doesn’t bother me at all. We each carried 1 child.

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Thanks for answering. If we have a child my partner will carry it and it will be from her egg. I think that’s partly why I worry about it. I always thought having a genetic link didn’t bother me, but when I see my friends with their children it makes me a bit sad ours wouldn’t have any element of my genes. But I also strongly believe fundamentally it’s not that important.