I am a submissive woman, married to my Dominant. We practice 24/7 lifestyle D/s.

[BellaDelBosco]

A fellow mumsnetter suggested it would be interesting for me to post an AMA and here I am.

I ran a search in previous AMAs and I believe this subject has not been tackled. There was a previous thread from a male submissive and a tradwife but I do not think there is one written by a submissive woman. I mean, there was a poor masochist sub who tried to start a conversation but did not quite go to plan and she did not come back on the thread. I hope this attempt will generate an interesting discussion and I'll be able to dispel some myths.

The context: I have been married to my Dominant for over twenty years and we are still very very much in love, in fact we are totally enthralled by each other. We met in an unusual setting but not specifically BDSM-oriented. I had previous experience and it was I who suggested this setup, which was really clarifying and expressing a dynamic already present in our relationship. We had couple counselling, read books and we still work at our relationship every day.

Why this could be interesting: BDSM references are more and more present, in TV programs and social media. There are whole series dedicated to it (Netflix Bonding) It's relatively easy to gather experiences from professionals in the field, esp. Dominants, but to hear the true voices of people who have made this as a lifestyle choice throughout the years it is harder. There are also false narratives of BDSM that are portrayed by erotic literature but, again, the lived experience of real life couples is different. My life is very similar to an ordinary life in many ways but it has also some not ordinary aspects, that I am willing to open up.

My boundaries: this is what we call a 'hard limit': I am going to respond to questions related to sexual habits only in a very broad, general way as 1. this is not the place and 2. it is mainly a relationship style, and it is a spiritual relationship, the sexual aspect is a byproduct and a means of communication of other aspects. I am also not going to respond to DMs. If you have questions please ask on the thread. Finally, another point of interesting discussion could be how this lifestyle has brought us to be still so happy together through the decades when many marriages and in divorce within a few years.

The timings: I live a structured, busy life so please do not be alarmed if I'm not responding immediately.

edited as I caught a typo.

When you have friends round , do you sit on the cushion ? If not , why not ?

You're a manager at work , a sub at home . You must feel like an actor , living two different lives ?

😂

Apart from the cushion on the floor thing, the OP has not told us one thing that’s remotely interesting.

This sounds bloody awful. Sorry.

Thanks for an interesting thread, OP. I don't have a particular question to ask now, but I wanted to say thanks. I'm interested to learn more about a lifestyle about which I probably know very little!

How do you resolve conflict within your relationship?

If your DH does something that really annoys you for instance, do you feel you can still submit or do you have to put a pause on things until it is resolved?

It sounds really interesting but surely there must be times when you just aren't on the same wavelength for one reason or another?

Ew

Will you be voting Reform by any chance?

'ForFirmBiscuit · Today 19:19
Ew'

Thank you, you put it far more succinctly than I.

Yes we are all subordinated to some extent, but you are willingly taking on more than you need to!

Do you think it makes your life sound more interesting than it actually is?

You say you don’t sit on the sofa but on the floor, what would happen as you age and arthritis wants you on a comfy seat? Or you need care when older and he’s well?

If you have to sit on the floor when watching Netflix, do you also have to sleep on the floor while your DH sleeps in the bed?

How would you feel if your adult daughters entered into this type of relationship?

I'm out

Well to be honest I do know what it is like to have the entire mental load - maybe he also arranges all the holidays, day trips for the family, doctors, dentist appointments, play dates, kid taxi runs, food shopping, cooking and maintenance calls for people to do work around the house? <hopeful look at OP>

I sit on a cushion on the floor and not on the sofa

Which is more comfortable for you, physically?

Wouldn’t surprise me.

Do you wear one of those padlock necklaces or bracelets?
Does he decide who’ll vote for?
What does reclaiming your trauma mean?
Do you think the rumours about Liz Truss are true?

This a million times over.

I could not agree more. The whole thing is diabolical and very depressing.

AI?