Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AMA

I am a nanny for “VIP families” ask me anything

183 replies

nannyofcelebrities · 20/01/2024 22:18

Name changed for obvious reasons, and while I obviously can’t give identifiable details as to who I work for or I have worked for, I am happy to answer any question anyone might have about what nannying for so called “VIP families” is like in general etc…

OP posts:
WeveGotThis · 22/01/2024 22:26

nannyofcelebrities · 22/01/2024 06:36

@Gagaandgag thankfully not. And I would have no hesitation to report. The one case I had that horrified me a bit but wasn’t a contract of mine and was just a baby sitting gig I did for free for a single mom of a certain ethnic background (where what I am about to talk about is common) who needed help for a few days, and when I got there and had to nappy change immediately noticed that the baby had part of his genitalia sectioned, I think as an attempt to circumcise him in an homemade fashion with a razor blade (I don’t know this level of details just could tell it was homemade and likely was done a long while ago) it was a horrible job as you could see the urinary track etc…the toddler had zero pain (that’s why I knew it was old and healed) but he was permanently butchered.

I didn’t report for two reasons. I could tell he was well looked after and that it wasn’t a sign of ongoing abuse and more a sign of old traditional belief, and while I was angry that she didn’t go through a medical professional as she should have there was no turning back the clock on that one but I was horrified and had to ponder on it for a while.

I wouldn’t hesitate to report any and all physical abuse/neglect, right away though!

That sounds like the male equivalent of FGM. I would have reported. Rich people can make anything go away, though.

alexdgr8 · 22/01/2024 22:36

if they were rich, why didn't they get that procedure done properly, by a surgeon ?

HiCandles · 22/01/2024 22:40

Fascinating thread, thanks OP.
Do you ever bed share with a baby? Would that ever be allowed/requested by a family?
Do you kiss and cuddle the baby? What if mum is around, do you feel you have to be more hands off?

WeveGotThis · 22/01/2024 22:41

alexdgr8 · 22/01/2024 22:36

if they were rich, why didn't they get that procedure done properly, by a surgeon ?

Maybe for the same reason people don't go to a swimming teacher for a baptism: beliefs and religions can make people do some strange things.

nannyofcelebrities · 22/01/2024 22:42

@Fingerscrossedfor2021HK

it doesn’t seem like you did anything out of the ordinary though, you had some help post birth and then now have an extremely well paid nanny who works 4-5 hours a day? I mean I would take that job 😂 it’s great! Not sure why you pay so much for so little hours but go you, so don’t fear being judged, everyone needs or would love some help with their kids at some point, it’s normal, and it doesn’t make you a bad mother, irrelevant of if you are a stay at home mom or not.

@Middleagedspreadisreal

I would like to think they would question if the bad parts are about them. But yes they likely would mind, yes, on the other hand most of them say I should write a book which I always find funny because it’s almost always assuming the horrible chapters wouldn’t ever be about them!

Anyhow I kind of don’t care if they would be horrified at me answering questions on here. I have purposefully kept all answers general so it’s not as if I am actually entering the details of the family set ups, I am just giving insight into my job which I guess I am entitled to do even if they would potentially dislike me doing so.

@ShinyPebble32

No, I almost wish (and if they do that they would invite me!) but no I have actually noticed the absolute opposite. Most of them have so much money they could do anything and everything with it and yet for the most part live extremely boring and isolating lives if you ask me. That’s actually been the biggest surprise to me. That most people I know who don’t have much funds actually have more exciting lives overall but then it’s not surprising. I guess when you can buy most things on earth and do absolutely whatever you want (for the most part) life becomes a bit unchallenging.

@Moccasin

Yes but not of the kind you would expect (about cheating/affairs and things like that) it’s more a fair amount of (il)legal stuff and just more about the kind of people they are behind closed doors. I mean I think the bettencourt Netflix documentary highlights this quite well, with the hidden tapes. When you live in a house you hear and see everything even if you don’t care to so it’s a bit of a “what would I find or not find out out about you if I came to live under your roof?” Probably a lot more than you would expect me to or realize I would. That’s kind of the case there. You are in this weird position where you are almost part of the family because you look after one of the most important member of the family so there is this closeness but you are also a bit the walls because you, in the end, are just nobody, and aren’t truly part of the family or of what’s going on, you just support the household. So it’s an interesting spot to be in and yes I do hear and see many many things I wish I didn’t know about them tbh.

and no, no dads has ever really hit on me (thankfully!) but then I have very little contact with dads usually, my main source of contact usually being moms so there isn’t really the room to in most cases.

@Calliopespa

I mean I do try to stay in touch with the kids and families, I don’t have a preference amongst all the kids I have looked after but of course if there are siblings and I only look after one then my favorite will be said one. If I look after siblings at the same time then I don’t have favorites, I just usually love them both for different reasons specific to who they are and how and why we bond which differ with each kid. And no, most mothers are lovely and very scared to do wrong and really grateful for the help, you have the odd micromanager or the odd one who feels a bit of jealousy but in general most moms are great to work with, and appreciative of my work. (More than the dads anyway!)

OP posts:
nannyofcelebrities · 22/01/2024 22:51

WeveGotThis · 22/01/2024 22:26

That sounds like the male equivalent of FGM. I would have reported. Rich people can make anything go away, though.

this story wasn’t about a rich family, it was about a broke single mom I helped for free on my free time so she could go to work while her baby was sick and couldn’t attend daycare.

if she was rich I would have reported. But clearly she was an immigrant trying to do her best who came from a culture where being circumcised is the norm and where it’s not always done medically. And because she was someone I had never met before and only helped as a one -off I had zero background information about whether her baby was born in the country or in her native country and I could tell her kid was loved and not generally mistreated so I couldn’t really imagine bringing social services onto her tbh so after thinking about it I decided not to as like I said, I don’t think the injury was a sign of purposeful abuse and more so a butchered circumcising that likely happened very soon after birth which is dreadful of course and horrifying even but not something that would warrant a kid being removed (I don’t think).

in the end it’s always a tough call to make but I honestly think nothing positive would have come out of reporting.

OP posts:
nannyofcelebrities · 22/01/2024 22:55

HiCandles · 22/01/2024 22:40

Fascinating thread, thanks OP.
Do you ever bed share with a baby? Would that ever be allowed/requested by a family?
Do you kiss and cuddle the baby? What if mum is around, do you feel you have to be more hands off?

Sometimes but not as an habit and never out of choice, sometimes it can be due to travel arrangements etc… in this case I can bedshare/co-sleep but never as a regular occurrence. And yes I do kiss and cuddle the baby, and I act the same whether mom is around or not though I do know when to step in or when to step out based on the situation and to allow for quality time between the parents and the baby, without me.

OP posts:
WeveGotThis · 22/01/2024 23:02

@nannyofcelebrities thanks for the clarification! It sounded more sinister than it was and I was shocked. I think this is still genital mutilation even though it's not deliberate. I probably wouldn't have reported either but wow, that poor kid.

AdoraBell · 22/01/2024 23:07

What percentage of the families you’ve worked with have an entitled attitude?

AdoraBell · 22/01/2024 23:11

For clarifying, we used to live near a private boarding school and saw lots of the students in the local town. Most were polite and courteous while in public and just a few had an air of superiority about them.

Cheshiresun · 22/01/2024 23:53

When travelling, do they put you in economy, maybe with their child/ren, whilst they go in first/business? Or would they buy you the same travel class as them?

BlueSapphireEyes · 23/01/2024 06:06

Do you speak other languages if so which?
And what is the worst nationality to work for?
Waiting with baited breath.. 😋

Mamabear04 · 23/01/2024 13:40

Can you tell us more about how you teach babies to sleep independently without sleep training? My DC was a very good sleeper and always put him to sleep in his bassinet but come 3-4 months would refuse to go to sleep unless he was rocked a little. Can you explain how you do it? You sound amazing at your job and it's all very interesting!

PineapplePomPom · 23/01/2024 15:51

Have any of the parents ever really upset you/spoken harshly to you for no reason? On the flipside, have you ever bonded with one of the moms, as in a good friend/confidante way?

HiCandles · 23/01/2024 16:47

Mamabear04 · 23/01/2024 13:40

Can you tell us more about how you teach babies to sleep independently without sleep training? My DC was a very good sleeper and always put him to sleep in his bassinet but come 3-4 months would refuse to go to sleep unless he was rocked a little. Can you explain how you do it? You sound amazing at your job and it's all very interesting!

Yes would love to know this! I didn't do that many contact naps and baby slept well in the crib by 3-4 months so I thought I'd cracked him not needing help to go to sleep yet at 7 months stopped sleeping at night and started needing rocking. Would love to hear any tips for next baby!

TheNanny24 · 23/01/2024 17:20

I always established lots of independent sleep cues from the beginning (things like comforters, songs, white noise) so when the baby goes through tricky phases they still have lots of things to rely on.
If you do end up having to intervene with things like rocking or patting always do the minimum for the least amount of time. So rock until calm/sleepy, put down and pat in the cot. If you have to pick them up again, put them down and pat before they go to sleep.

alexdgr8 · 23/01/2024 17:26

but that poor child with the exposed urinary tract, surely the mother should have taken him for a corrective procedure, not just left it.
early medical intervention could have made a difference, at least made the best of a bad situation.
i wouldn't think to report her, just urge, encourage, support her to seek medical help for the child.

RadiatorHead · 24/01/2024 16:52

Are you a Norland Nanny?

askmenow · 25/01/2024 01:27

RadiatorHead · 24/01/2024 16:52

Are you a Norland Nanny?

OP has already answered this... read the thread!

ssd · 25/01/2024 11:34

To be fair, its a long thread

No she isnt a norland nanny

Calliopespa · 25/01/2024 11:38

I’m sure some people are on MN so they can trawl through the thread then leap in with RTFT. Occasionally it is a problem when, for instance, OP updates that their sick cat has now died, and someone jumps on and says “ he’ll be fine in 24 hours.” But mostly jumping on it is just officiousness gone mad.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/01/2024 14:57

ssd · 25/01/2024 11:34

To be fair, its a long thread

No she isnt a norland nanny

It's easy enough to click on read all
Op posts though

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 25/01/2024 15:12

@Blondeshavemorefun

Yes @ssd could look at all the posts by the OP,

however she could have been asking you - as you have explained that you work nights as a night nanny / maternity nanny ?

or she could have been asking another lady @TheNanny24 as she has also replied on this thread.

Just a thought, meant nicely and most def not having a go at you.

Vexxa · 25/01/2024 15:54

Not sure if this has been asked but how do you not go mad from sleep deprivation, doing the newborn phase over and over? My 4 month old woke every two hours for feeding until she was 3 months old 🙈😩

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/01/2024 16:54

If she was asking me , but sure she meant op - then no I'm not Norland. I'm NNEB and MNT 🙂

Swipe left for the next trending thread