I am a nanny for “VIP families” ask me anything

[nannyofcelebrities]

Name changed for obvious reasons, and while I obviously can’t give identifiable details as to who I work for or I have worked for, I am happy to answer any question anyone might have about what nannying for so called “VIP families” is like in general etc…

Are you a Norland nanny?

Do parents ever get jealous of the bond you have with their children and undermine you, e.g. by not enforcing the rules they asked you to establish?

A great nanny makes sure that never happens…

Well the salary is more due to the hours worked. We work 24/6 or 24/7 very often so it adds up and mean the salary while high isn’t that high when we look at hours worked vs salary.

but no. I know Norland Nannies used to be famous (not as much now) but anyone can get to that level really. I couldn’t be further removed from this world (grew up dirt poor with social services in tow) so no their world isn’t my world but I think it’s what makes it my strength. I am not star struck I absolutely HATE the look of any Louis Vuitton and most brands. I am used to survive on ramen noodles and have Pennies on my bank account. So I don’t fear “going back to where I come from” and don’t envy their life or care about working at the level I work at enough to accept to be abused or taken advantaged of by the family, and I have principles that usually mean I don’t let kids act entitled or bossy with the staff etc… to me there is no difference between them and me/the rest of the population and I make sure I act like it. I respect them as my employer just as I expect them to respect me as their employee but that’s about it, their money/name/fame absolutely changes nothing when it comes to how I behave or how I see them and what I would accept/tolerate or not. And I think they tend to respect that because they can see I am not from their world and so don’t try to fit in it, nor care for it enough and I think most of them don’t necessarily enjoy their world much either and do find it refreshing to have staff who isn’t easily impressed by it or star struck by them.

Do you think you could have a family of your own and still do this job and if not which would you choose

Are you Norland trained?

I am not a Norland Nanny, I am also not 30 yet (so not old and no families hire people of all
ages, though currently the other Nannies I work alongside with are in their 50’s but honestly most families have staff of all ages only few have a preference for older or younger most just look at the CV/the experience and the languages they speak if relevant) I have been working with kids for a decade, at this level for 3/4 years now. I work with agencies but now also get a lot of work through word of mouth and recommendation from former families.

Some parents can get jealous of the bond but I try to show them that there is only one mom and one dad. I do spend 24/7 with the kids though and I do all the care, the nights, the sick days, the nightmares, etc… so logically there is going to be a strong bond with the kids and it would be unfair on the child/ren to hope they don’t get attached.

As for if there is a maximum age, I think at teen years parents tend to hire governess/governors that are more like “companions” and tutors for the kids rather than a nanny as such.

off to bed but will answer more tomorrow if there is anymore questions.

Are you a level 3 in Childcare, or have you taken extra levels since qualifying ?

For those that don't know much about NN's I believe they are level 6.

What is the most children you have had in one family ?

How long do you stay with each family and do you keep in touch with the. Children after leaving?

It sounds like families must chop and change nannies a lot. Is that normal with vips- jobs last months not years? I naively thought that posh family nannies stayed with kids through their whole childhood, and then retired to cottage in the grounds 😀 (too many films!).

Our experience hiring a nanny is that most tend to stick with families for several years. How/ why have you worked with so many over just 10 years? Our kiddo had the same for 3 years and DH and I had same for most of our (separate) childhoods.

Indeed! Ours has lived with us for 10 years!

There was another almost identical thread on this and it was so interesting. it seems as though the nanny has to give up her life in order to bring up other people's children but of course she can be fired at any time. That must be incredibly painful both for the nanny and for the children if they have built a good bond.

It's very interesting

Been wondering this too. Wouldn't like the look of that on a CV.

That’s a very valid point and I am more than happy to answer this.

Most Nannies who work for an average family , work decent hours, have a life and/or family of their own, go back to their own home at the end of their shift, see their kids/partner/husband/wife daily, and overall have a balanced life.

That’s not our case. Most of us work a very minimum of 12 hours a day 6 days a week, many more work 24/6 or 24/7 (that’s my case), the great majority of us are live-in Nannies, which means no expenses but also mean that once we step into the house we don’t leave nor have our own life until the end of our shift. It’s living with those people all the time, having no privacy, often no or very little breaks, not necessarily eating what you want or when you want to, often not being able to wear the clothes you wish to wear in some cases you are also not allowed to use whatever body wash you want and have to abide by their preferences. We LIVE for those people, we don’t see our families for weeks or months, nor our house. Most Nannies who stay in families for years at this level do so because they gave up on their own fertility and ability to have their own or be there for family to do so (many of the nanny I work with who are in their 50’s and are long-term Nannies don’t have kids and never got married and those who are married see their spouse extremely sporadically.)

So many Nannies only last a few years (if the work conditions are good and the family is nice) or a few months (if the conditions are bad), because we give up so much of ourselves that it comes a point where we either need a break or can’t sustain living in an environment that’s not healthy for years.

Personally it’s more simple. I specialize in babies, especially newborns so usually do 24/6 or 24/7 contract for the first 3 months and then take a break and then start afresh with a new baby/family. Often I have stayed longer for the right families, up to a year or so. But currently I am at a stage where I am willing to work a lot for short periods of time but do want my own life and so wouldn’t stay 10 years in a 24/6 positions nor a 12/6 one as it’s just not sustainable with having your own quality of life.

Me having worked with lots of families doesn’t impact my CV because it’s what’s expected of someone like me (based on what I do and the services I provide) plus I only have very good recommendations from all the families I work for so if anything it’s a plus rather than a minus, and no family take me on with the expectation I’ll stay 10 years because I don’t do older kids and I am clear from the get go that I have no interest working so many hours full-time and long-term, and most absolutely understand, because those people would be the least likely to accept to work 24h a day 6 or 7 days a week and not have a life for what they pay me.

I'll never understand so called celebrities/millionaires and the like that have kids they then don't raise... it astounds me, as my kids are my world 🌎 bringing them up is an important role that I wouldn't like to pass over to someone else paid or not. No question to ask just thought I'd chime in. Don't mind me...

Yes, I work exclusively abroad, and most families I work for travel quite extensively. I would say that I go on trips every couple of weeks on average.

But I also travel and traveled a lot outside of work, so I have always kind of traveled and for me it’s just an extension of the life I was living/wanted to live.

On a good week I work 144hours, so no, there is no way for me to have a family of my own under those conditions. The only way to have my own family would be to take a break from my career (it’s highly unlikely I would be allowed to bring my own baby to work), and it’s a tough call to make because if I don’t work I am not paid and if I am not paid how do I raise a child? So most who have kids have taken said break but many just never make the call because the salaries are high and it’s hard to bite the bullet and step down with the uncertainty that you will be able to get back in.

Especially as agism and fat phobia is rife in this world and many families actually worry about “fitness levels”.

Personally I am at a stage now where I am transitioning. Not necessarily out of the profession but allowing myself to have more life, by either only taking rotational contracts (those in which I only work half of the month) or short terms ones and having breaks in between. I think eventually I’ll take one newborn contract a year and live off of that + have a more normal job the rest of the year, but for now I am working on saving up so when I do feel it’s my time to go I can do so without having to worry about the financial aspect and the massive salary drop.

But in all cases, I would always pick having my own life over living other people’s life for the rest of my life (which is what I do when I am at work) so if it came down to it or if it ever comes down to it, I will pick having a family of my own.

Really interesting thread OP.

So primarily when you take Newborn contracts is there usually an established nanny in place for the older siblings? Have you ever had a situation where you’ve taken a contract been clear with your employers but the then still expect your help with older children?

What is your live in accommodation usually like?

And I imagine it varies but seeing as you’re there short term, do you genuinely build somewhat of a camaraderie with other staff?

Yes, usually if there are other siblings they have their own Nanny. It has happened that sometimes they have asked (due to other nanny being ill or whatever) and I would also never personally ignore a kid, older or not. But in most cases they are actually very respectful of that and I am solely in charge of the baby if that’s what the contract states.

Usually I share a bedroom with the baby and have my own private bathroom (en-suite or not).

And yes, we are all stuck in the same house and our work are usually interconnected, having a good rapport with the rest of the staff makes both the day go faster and life a lot easier and a lot less lonely. I have worked with many wonderful people over the years, and often you wish you could bring some along with you to the next family, especially those who are amazing but aren’t treated fairly.

How did you get into this? It sounds like you now go from contract to contract on recommendation, but where was the start? You said you didn't do Norland.

I initially started working with kids abroad (for normal families) almost always babies, I eventually joined agencies and through them met families with more money until getting to where I am at. So I didn’t really do anything specific just gained the experience and joined the right agencies. I never thought I would work the way I currently work when I first started so it was never a goal of mine or something I aimed for, it just genuinely happened casually.

I think Norland can make you go from fresh out of high school onto working for UHNW families but really it’s more about what the family is looking for. With all the new parenting styles, Norland can be seen as a bit too old fashioned and strict and it’s very rare now that I see families specifically looking for a Norland nanny and I have never co-worked with one, so have yet to meet one in real life, ironically!

specialize in babies, especially newborns so usually do 24/6 or 24/7 contract for the first 3 months and then take a break and then start afresh with a new baby/family

Those poor babies! They must attach to you as their mother figure and then you leave!

Agree! That's horrible

Unfortunately, (and I 100% it’s not great), even if I didn’t leave then I would still have to leave eventually those aren’t my kids, so all we can do is provide them a safe and loving environment while we are there and prepare them for the time we do leave. In the end just like in any other family the two people they will have as permanent figure in their life is their parent/family not me or any other nanny.