Do I feel bad for the babies? Absolutely yes, do I feel bad for being a part of it? No. Because let’s be honest, if I wasn’t doing it someone else would. I know the kind of love and environment I provide the kids and so it’s the small consolation prize for me. Many Nannies shouldn’t be Nannies at all, and yet are and have access to kids. So at least when they are with me I do know that they have a good loving environment. Of course like I said, I am sad that they don’t get to spend more time with their parents etc… and that they don’t have a normal childhood as such but I don’t get to control that and I can’t force parents to spend more time with their kids than they are willing to. If I quit, it wouldn’t make the parents step up more, it would make them hire somebody else, and if all Nannies quit or refused the job they would just find someone else to do it.
in the end, I can’t change the environment those kids grow up in or who they see most, I can just make sure they feel as loved and secured as possible and make the most of the life they are given while with me.
As for how involved the parents are. It really depends. Like I said, some are very hands on and do look after their kids like any other parent and I am more of an assistant but a good majority, will do bits and pieces (join a meal, give a bottle every now and then or a bath) or just play for a bit. It’s not uncommon that the parents never change a diaper or give a bottle though, and I would say it’s mainly the norm.
Some mom breastfeed and so obviously do all feeds but many bottle feed also. it’s all family dependent. In all cases I do all nights and so work irrelevant of if the mom breastfeeds or not.
I did laugh at the ringing a bell question. Parents just pop in and off, I don’t go to them with the baby, usually they come to us when they want to interact. Otherwise I just carry on with the routine and the day. Sometimes in some cases they will have the baby on their own for a few hours but most of the time it’s more they join in on what we are doing or come interact for a few minutes. Like I said, it’s very rare they will volunteer to take over and change a dirty diaper or do a feed but some do, do so.
As for where I live on my time off, I have finally saved up enough to buy my own place so did in fact buy a place semi-recently and that’s where I do spend my off days/breaks in between contracts. my plan is to save more and find ways to make a more passive income so as to be able to move away from this career eventually so I can truly have my own life so that’s what I am currently working at.