I am a nanny for “VIP families” ask me anything

[nannyofcelebrities]

Name changed for obvious reasons, and while I obviously can’t give identifiable details as to who I work for or I have worked for, I am happy to answer any question anyone might have about what nannying for so called “VIP families” is like in general etc…

There's a big difference between not ideal and immoral. I'm sure kids would much rather be looked after by their parents but 24/7 namnies aren't immoral.
Daycare nurseries aren't ideal either but aren't immoral. Same as feeding children ultra processed foods or letting them watch loads of YouTube.

Do these people seem genuinely happy & content with their lives?

There was a very similar thread a few months ago which I posted on, as back in the day I did this sort of work! Also specialised in newborns - called a maternity nurse then. I'm also an RN and on/off still do private nursing for adults of the same millieu! Proper A-listers.

So these situations do exist - just as there are a lot of women who work as PAs for these same type of families. Those PAs are run-ragged and earn every penny of their big salaries!

Just musing that these wealthy individuals seem to have everything. Yet they are unable or unwilling to form a closer bond with their children, which for many of us hanging out on a parenting forum, is one of life’s most precious things….

Lots and lots and lots of dads, at every income level, live that way.

Six figures???!

Is 52 too late to change to being a nanny?!

Babies have mainly normal names, if anything kind of classic ones, sometimes out there but not more than the average family tbh.

if everything is done and ready then yes I can usually read or use my phone once the baby sleeps. But no I absolutely cannot meet my friends or family while on shift and yes having a relationship is near on impossible unless long-distance isn’t an issue.

Yes financially I am pretty fine outside of work, mainly because I don’t have much time to spend it. I am not in any way set up for life though.

about kitchens depends on the house usually I eat with other staff but when I can so when baby naps so sometimes I eat alone. We don’t necessarily have our own kitchen though most parents don’t eat in the kitchen anyway so the kitchen is very often a staff area.

I do spend most of my day in the nursery. Not sure if like a very posh person or not haha that part is fairly boring if you ask me.

About rules, what’s annoying is all the things and places you can’t go with kids, having to abide by things you don’t agree with from people who actually spend very little time with their kids and yet have the final say on how your day is spent and what you have to do.

as for friends and family I stay in touch like most people via FaceTime when I have a minute and physically when I am off of work.

it’s never too late but it’s also not that well paid.

if you think about it on average I make £2000 a week BUT I work 144 hours minimum a week, so if you look at the hourly rate it really isn’t that much or outrageous.

I am sure lawyers, business folks etc… make a lot more for way less hours. So wouldn’t recommend it if the salary is the attractive point as it loses its appeal very quickly once you realize how much of yourself and your life you give up for what’s what? £13 an hour?

Do you notice a difference between aristocracy and 'new money' - especially when it comes to how they treat staff, you, and their children?

What do you think the impact is on children being raised by an army of staff and nannies who don't stay more than a few years? Or having one nanny each?

Are there any children who've really 'stayed' with you?

I don't earn that much as a nanny, more like £70k, and I do 24/7 week on, week off.
That's with 10+ years experience and a degree/teaching qual.

Maternity nurses earn around £250-£450 per 24 hours and need lots of newborn experience and usually a maternity qualification too. It's not a huge amount for the hours and responsibility.

@nannyofcelebrities you mentioned further up the thread that some families are influenced by the fitness of their employees/size. Do you get time to keep fit/exercise?

You also mention having to abide by the parents rules, which rules have been the hardest to follow and why?

Fascinating thread btw! Thanks!

Yes only you 😏

A couple of things have flagged to me but I’m not sure if that means it’s not real. It could be real and probably is but I wondered about her being strict and not letting them get away with bad behaviour yet specialises in newborn babies. Also having pennies in her account (unless she meant when she was growing up), at six figures and no life of her own she must be rolling in money. Also no one works 24/7 or 24/6 unless she means she’s on call for night wakes but wouldn’t those hours come under some kind of ‘slavery’ laws.

Although I must add I’m terrible for looking for plot holes in threads even when there aren’t any 😁

25/5, 24/6 & 24/7 is totally standard in high end nannying.

Have you nannied any newborns that were from surrogates? If so did you notice any difference in the "bonding" with the parents.

Reminds me of what Tara Palmer Tomkinson said about her experiences or being a child in a rich family ' Rich people don't do love.'

You mentioned you work abroad a lot. are there any places that you really enjoyed working?

but I wondered about her being strict and not letting them get away with bad behaviour yet specialises in newborn babies

I did wonder about that too..

This is so interesting to read!

I live in SE Asia and have a full time, live in nanny, but that is normal here and I am definitely not loaded or a celebrity!! It's interesting comparing your way of working (and high salary for crazy hours and commitment) with what we have here.

There are definitely families here who seem to go through nannies quickly, sometimes through bad luck and sometimes because they have mad expectations of the ladies who work for them and who are tight with their pay and conditions. Some treat their nannies (and other helpers) appallingly. 24/6 would not be normal here, as people who want that would have a day and a night nanny, but my nanny worked for a family before me where she didn't even have a bedroom of her own, she slept in the children's room so was effectively 24/7. This isn't legal here but nobody cares about domestic workers' rights.

My nanny works 12/6 (ish) but with significant breaks and flexibility, though she rarely asks for any flex at all. Now they're all at school her hours during term time are probably more like 9 or 10 hours a day, as I don't ask her to help me get them up and out in the morning or her hours would just be too long (though lots of people told me of course she should do this...)

I love her dearly and while I pay her probably mid-market rate, I overpay her in bonuses, always invite her on trips (and she can say no, but she loves to travel), and I genuinely treat her as a member of my family. I will never, ever understand trusting someone with your babies/children and not respecting them and treating them well!

Most nannies here are uneducated, many are migrant workers. I had my nanny do a first aid course but apart from that, she has learned as she goes and she is really fantastic. She can wrangle 3 kids on public transport like a pro! She's picked up tips and ideas from other nannies in our neighbourhood and just learned from watching how I do things, as there was a bit of a language barrier in the beginning so communication was tricky. Obviously all this is very different from OP and other highly trained nannies in her world, and yet they do similar work. Nannies here are paid a very low wage from a western perspective and often send most of it back to their own families. Many have children of their own, being raised by their aunties or grandparents while their mothers work. It's heartbreaking but culturally totally normal here.

Someone mentioned about parents perhaps being concerned about their children bonding more with the nanny than themselves. I know some people here who have this concern but it has never crossed my mind. I'm a single parent and I'm a big believer in it taking a village to raise a child. The more loving, supportive adults a child has in their life, the better! I actively WANT my kids to love their nanny (and they really do). Especially as we are far from any other family, grandparents etc.

As I said, this is all quite different from the OP's world, but it's very interesting for me to see the similarities and differences in how it all works. Now I've had a nanny, I can't imagine not having one, and I will be eternally grateful for this young woman who has seen me through some serious lows with total loyalty and discretion and kindness, and has given my children so much love and time.

@StBrides I notice more the difference between parents who have worked hard for their money and originally come from a similar background to me or who have been raised to be kind and respect others irrelevant of social status and those who are born in money and are so used to staff that they just see them as people born to serve them and underserving of any kind of a respect or good treatment.

@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs no I don’t have time to workout and when I do don’t necessarily have the will nor energy. Some parents do discriminate based on age or fitness level but it’s at first sight/glance at your CV and it doesn’t mean they will give you the room to stay fit. In fact even attending medical appointments is tricky in and by itself in this work environment.

@willWillSmithsmith I will clarify, I specialize in babies and now 90% of my contracts are exclusively babies but before and still now it happens that I had more than one kid (usually a baby + an older child) and sometimes have done only older kids. The fact that I specialize in babies doesn’t mean I am only qualified to or only do babies, it’s just my preference and what I mainly go for. The Pennies in my account was in reference to when I was growing up but as I have explained I have also just fairly recently bought a place which means that while I don’t have Pennies in my account I also don’t have loads nor enough to just quit my job and live off my savings. And yes plenty of people work 24/6 or 24/7 in this industry. it doesn’t mean we don’t sleep. It means we sleep when the kids do. Like I said, I share a room with the baby, every time s/he is awake so am I, when s/he is asleep I can sleep but I am still working as I am still 100% responsible for his/her/their (if it’s multiples) needs. Is it slavery? It’s all debatable. I personally don’t think it’s a fair expectation to have of any human being to be honest but it is what it is, and I do it so I can afford the life I want to have for myself. Contracts obviously don’t reflect real hours worked but you just have to look at ads from agencies to see that most jobs at that level are a minimum of 12 hours 6 days a week and an equal chunk are a 24/6, 24/7 Set up.

@TinderTime yes I have and no there wasn’t really any noticeable difference. To answer another poster most babies I look after are from the parents themselves and not adopted nor through surrogates.

@MCOut I like working in Europe if I am honest. Not in any specific country but in big European cities, it feels fairly safe (in comparison to the US), it’s walkable and I also feel safer work wise as the legal system is likely to be on my side if worse comes to worse.

What sort of places are you not allowed to take the children? Are they often the same rules for most families, or do they vary?

Also if the mother is not with her newborn much, is that because she is working or is she usually doing something else?

Thank you for sharing. I have a question for you. I see you live in SE Asia and have a nanny working 12/6, and you say you pay her mid-market rates. Is it mid-market rate SE Asia wise or European wise? I ask because unfortunately I often see a lot of abuse of Nannies/ household workers from SE Asia (or Latin America), especially and famously known the Philippines (could also definitely be Thai Nannies) in Europe/the UK and I do know many Expats who live in SE Asia have full-time staff that they do pay peanuts.

I am not saying a nanny in SE Asia needs a 6 figures salary but I personally couldn’t imagine asking anyone to work 12 hours a day 6 days a week for a Thai/philipino salary. Tbh I am also vehemently against 12 hours 6 days a week kind of schedule all year long in any case, because it just isn’t fair on the worker (irrelevant of salary). Not writing this to shame you, of course as I know it’s very much the culture there as well as in my work environment. But I have just genuinely been curious as a nanny why families do require so many hours of one human being (me or other Nannies) apart from “just because they can”, I think people who need so many hours should have 2 people working for them so they both can have a life as otherwise it’s asking one human being to have no life so you can have one.

So anyhow, again just asking back a few question to have your perspective as a parent because I can hardly have those conversations with the parents I work for, though sometimes I do and I am always curious about their side of things also. So again thank you very much for sharing and I hope you know my comments and questions come from a genuine place and not as an attack upon you and your set up (as I also know you are a single mom living abroad so likely do genuinely need the help).

This is a super interesting thread thanks OP. Not suprised that when you’re working so many hours you want to be somewhere with proper employment protections.

Have you seen children that are more fond of their nannies than their parents? Effectively their Nannie’s are their mothers. Does this cause any friction? (I believe Harry or William have their nanny who looked after them after Diana died as godmother to one of their children).

It depends on the family, public transportation is often a big one, some don’t want them to leave the property (if they have a big estate), some don’t want play dates, some let you go just about anywhere, some barely let you leave the house as it’s either always too hot or too cold.

Each family is different and some trust me to take the baby/kid anywhere I want without being escorted nor double checking with them as long as I keep them updated, others I can’t go anywhere without bodyguards and multiple approvals of all and every details and in more extreme cases, I am stuck at home/on estate grounds for most of my time and dependent on the family deciding to go somewhere alongside the baby/me to actually see what’s outside the gates and see something else than the same trees and garden.

Usually working I would say is a big word. Not saying they don’t work but most work at most a few hours a day/week and there is a fairly obvious discrepancy between their working hours and mine/the time they spend with their baby. So they do work to some extent but is it to the extent they need 24/7 coverage to cover their own working hours? Let’s be honest, absolutely not. That level of coverage is a luxury they want to afford, not a necessity based on their working schedule. Usually they are busy though, like it’s rare that parents are home the whole day and still don’t see their kids at all or much but it definitely does happen also.