Hello, I'm a TRA - ask me anything

[AlphaTransWoman]

Good evening,

I'm a transgender rights advocate. I say "advocate" rather than "activist" because I believe in constructive debate and consensus building rather than the hostile, shouty kind of activism that gets us nowhere.

I am here because I am genuinely interested in seeing if there is some kind of compromise that can be reached between pro trans and gender critical views. Obviously this is difficult because we may disagree about something pretty fundamental. I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

The question is, can we find ways to co-exist and find an acceptable way forward on some of the difficult issues that arise around trans acceptance? So I'm happy to have a go answering anything you care to ask in good faith. Who knows, we might even make some progress.

I agree with third spaces.

I dont understand why Transwomen want to spare a space, when they still have a penis or the amount of Transwomen that get breasts and never move to the next stage. Surely having a penis would make you feel less of a woman?

Also you don't seem to have the same uproar from women transitioning to men, why is that?

Again I have used the words "don't understand" as I'm always willing to learn from a new perspective.

Can I suggest 4th spaces?
Too often 3rd spaces mean disabled spaces.

But @AlphaTransWoman has said they don’t use female spaces as they exactly recognise the fact that male bodied people are threatening. I don’t understand what people are arguing with - surely the 3rd spaces is one thing we do agree on?

I can’t share facilities with biological men either. it’s humiliating and puts me at risk of assault.

So what do you use? Because it’s sounds like you have decided that’s women’s feelings in this doesn’t matter and use the women’s bathrooms anyway?

Also you don't seem to have the same uproar from women transitioning to men, why is that?

Trans men aren't a threat to men in the same way trans women are to women.

I dont understand why Transwomen want to spare a space, when they still have a penis or the amount of Transwomen that get breasts and never move to the next stage. Surely having a penis would make you feel less of a woman?

Thank you, this is another thing I don’t understand

Please stop saying gender when you mean sex. Gender is made up. Socially constructed bullshit. Biological sex is immutable. Or do you disagree with that?

Interestingly, it's biological women who are humiliated and at risk of assault by people with penises in their previously safe spaces

The op said they hate using women’s spaces. Not that they don’t use them.

If they hate using them, it’s suggests they do use them.

I support their spaces. But that’s not acceptable to many TRAs or that’s what they would be campaigning for.

Sorry, I meant as in, it always seem biological men have to have their voices heard whereas biological women seem to have to get on with it.

Being trans is where sex doesn't 'match' gender. Which genders 'match' with female sex, please? And why?

I am taking your OP in good faith and that you intend to answer questions, at some point, and you won't just ignore them or pretend a different question was asked.

How do you feel when women say ‘no you’re not a woman as you do not and can never experience what it means to be a woman’.

Do you care about women’s voices in this instance? Do you care that by stating you are a woman you cross over the boundaries we’ve set.

Can you imagine that?

Sorry more than one question.

To be clear @AlphaTransWoman has said that they will use women's facilities "when absolutely necessary". So they do use women's spaces as they see fit. So presumably when there is the usual womens/men's toilets provided and there is no accessible toilet or the accessible toilet is only accessible via a radar key or similar. So that must be in quite a lot of circumstances.

Third and fourth spaces in addition to existing provision is fine in principle, as long as the previous (now destroyed) social contract is reinstated - that mens/women's facilities are designated by sex and not by "gender".

Oh, stop your nonsense.

1. Do you think that everyone who describes themselves as a woman is automatically a woman? e.g. Is a rapist with a full beard who decided to 'identify' yesterday just as much of a woman as a post op transsexual who spent years making the decision with medical support.

I believe that gender identity should be a human right and we should not be policing who is and who is not allowed to call themselves a "woman". However it is quite obvious to me that transgender women in prison, especially those guilty of violent crimes, should not be held in the same spaces as other women.

Instead trans women prisoners should be kept apart from men and women, though they should receive the same privileges other women get in prison such as the right to wear their own clothing. This is likely to mean effective solitary confinement, which may be attractive to trans women who wish to live in dignity as women and be held separately from men but is unlikely to appeal to men claiming to be transgender in order to gain access to vulnerable women in prison.

1. You seem to accept that transwomen are not biologically women? Should they be allowed to compete in women's sports despite their inherent advantages?

Generally no. Sport aims to be inclusive but sometimes people have to be excluded for medical reasons to ensure safety and fairness of all participants. Being transgender should be regarded as a medical obstacle (in simple terms, the wrong body) that means trans women cannot be allowed to compete with other women.

I strongly support replacing the "men's" category in sports with an "open" category, which would allow trans women to compete without effectively misgendering themselves.

I'm sure this thread, for the first time, won't become a thread all about what MN posters are like, and will stay on-topic in an attempt to actually share and explain honestly what each 'side' believes.

Can you answer this before we go any further, op? There seems little point if you don't / can't.

I feel passionately that trans women are women (at least in the psychological and social sense), so there's an obvious divide if you do not.

What do you mean by psychologically and socially?

No-one is scared of trans - there is no phobia. The questions opposed to the OP have all been made amicably.

I know that my body looks male

I assume that is because you recognise you are, in fact, male? Because that is what makes you a transwoman and not a transman?

Can you explain what it is that makes you feel that you are a woman and not a man? Have you always felt that way?

You are male, you do not have any right to access women's single sex spaces. You should never attempt to use women's toilet facilities or changing rooms, full stop. By "accessible", I presume you mean toilets intended for disabled people, you should not be using your male privilege and assuming that you can occupy one. It is never necessary for an able-bodied man to use women's spaces or accessible toilets. Don't presume to mansplain to women.

If you do not wish to use the men's facilities, that is your choice. No women are putting you at risk of assault. Where is the risk of assault? You could opt to stay at home instead as many women had to do in the past when there were no women's public toilets.

By all means, campaign for third spaces, or should that be fourth spaces Men, Women & Accessible & WhatTheHellEverElseMightBeNecessary. However, most people would probably be happy enough for single sex toilets to be used by people of the sex for which they were intended rather than wasting money on fourth spaces which could better be directed to counselling people with gender dysphoria and other mental illnesses.

Why do you think a male body is 'wrong' for a woman? That suggests you believe there is something inherently physically female about a woman - but this opinion is called transphobia. Is it?

Is a male, or female, body 'wrong' for a non-binary person?