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AMA
Original poster

I'm a SAHM in my 20s

97 replies

LlamaMamma · 15/08/2023 21:23

As the title suggests

OP posts:
warmmfeet · 15/08/2023 22:22

Ok! How do you find it generally? Are you happy with your choice?

Tailfeather · 15/08/2023 22:34

What did you do before you became a SAHM?

iminvestednow · 15/08/2023 22:40

Great, if your partner can support you and you don’t complain about him not helping in the evenings. Keep in mind if he leaves you and claims ‘self employment’ you’re screwed.

Duckingella · 15/08/2023 22:55

iminvestednow · 15/08/2023 22:40

Great, if your partner can support you and you don’t complain about him not helping in the evenings. Keep in mind if he leaves you and claims ‘self employment’ you’re screwed.

Wow there always one Debbie downer isn't there?

I'm guessing that's you;not every bloke leaves you know:did it happen to you?

EezyOozy · 15/08/2023 22:57

Are you married?

WesterChick · 15/08/2023 23:00

How many kids do you have now and hope to have?

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 15/08/2023 23:04

I was too 🙂 I went back to work aged 31. I don't regret those years for a single moment, although that may change when I'm drawing my pitiful pension. Luckily DH's is good. No questions, just sending my best wishes.

Blahahahah · 15/08/2023 23:04

I sometimes get confused by what is meant by a SAHM are you a SAHM because if you worked you wouldn't earn enough to cover childcare, so not cost effective to work or because you are supported by a partner who is wealthy?

fullbloom87 · 15/08/2023 23:13

I was a sahm in my 20's. I have mixed feeling about it. Whilst I loved the time with my little ones, now they're older I kind of wish I'd been a bit more selfish and concentrated on my career. I would have felt a lot more confident in myself if I had and not felt as left behind.

Are you worried about any regrets you might have?

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/08/2023 23:31

What are the best and worst things about it?

How many kids do you have and how old are they?

Did you work before having them?

Are you married?

Do you plan to get a job in future?

thefirstmrsrochester · 15/08/2023 23:34

As asked already, are you married?

What financial security do you have petsonally?

shangelawasrobbed · 15/08/2023 23:36

Do you secretly judge mums who work despite having young children?

Do you ever question/regret your decision to stay at home?

Did your own mum work or was she also a SAHM?

Is the dad to your kids still around? What is their bond with him like? Do you feel you being at home with them has affected their bond with him at all?

shangelawasrobbed · 15/08/2023 23:37

What are your favourite and least favourite parts of the day with your children?

continentallentil · 15/08/2023 23:38

Grand. I’m not sure it’s all that much different from being one at any other age tho..

Notjustamum28 · 16/08/2023 00:06

you said AMA then dissapeared!? 😵‍💫 I think the point is to answer the Qs 😁

fullbloom87 · 16/08/2023 00:36

shangelawasrobbed · 15/08/2023 23:36

Do you secretly judge mums who work despite having young children?

Do you ever question/regret your decision to stay at home?

Did your own mum work or was she also a SAHM?

Is the dad to your kids still around? What is their bond with him like? Do you feel you being at home with them has affected their bond with him at all?

I'll answer for fun as op has gone awol. (I was a sahm in my 20's)

Do you secretly judge mums who work despite having young children?
Not judge no, but wonder how they cope not spending as much time with their little ones.

Do you ever question/regret your decision to stay at home?
I did question it yes , but I was too tired and too set in a routine to change it. Couldn't see the point in working just to pay childcare fees and didn't need to financially. Only regret is not making more time to focus on myself.

Did your own mum work or was she also a SAHM?
My mum worked part time. But gave up her nursing career to be be there for us. Which in my opinion was a big mistake.

Is the dad to your kids still around? Yes

What is their bond with him like?
*Amazing bond
*
Do you feel you being at home with them has affected their bond with him at all?
No they respect the fact he's always worked hard to pay the bills, and to look after us all. They always say they don't have a favourite parent. They see that each of us had our role, and we took our roles seriously and they appreciate that we did that for them.

thaegumathteth · 16/08/2023 01:05

I was too. They're teens now. I miss those days tbh!

Thought I'd answer these too :)

Do you secretly judge mums who work despite having young children?
No, definitely not. Sometimes envied them on bad days!
Do you ever question/regret your decision to stay at home?
Not question it but sometimes wish we had family nearby for support.
Did your own mum work or was she also a SAHM?
She worked.
Is the dad to your kids still around?
Yes
What is their bond with him like?
Normal father / child bond.
Do you feel you being at home with them has affected their bond with him at all?
They've always been closer to me and when they were little I was definitely the default parent but he still very much knows their routines / friends etc.

Honeychickpea · 16/08/2023 01:15

fullbloom87 · 15/08/2023 23:13

I was a sahm in my 20's. I have mixed feeling about it. Whilst I loved the time with my little ones, now they're older I kind of wish I'd been a bit more selfish and concentrated on my career. I would have felt a lot more confident in myself if I had and not felt as left behind.

Are you worried about any regrets you might have?

There's nothing selfish about concentrating on your career. Doing so benefits your family.

xxalhxx · 16/08/2023 01:16

I'm 21 and a SAHM as my partner works from basically 4pm until 2am so I only see him for a few hours a day until it's just me and baba again don't get me wrong I wouldn't change it for the world but it does get lonely sometimes x

Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:10

warmmfeet · 15/08/2023 22:22

Ok! How do you find it generally? Are you happy with your choice?

Some days it can get a little lonely because I find that most mum friends I made went back to work after their babies turned 1... other than that I absolutely love it. I find it so much more rewarding seeing my child grow and develop (she's almost 2) than I ever did working

OP posts:
Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:19

Tailfeather · 15/08/2023 22:34

What did you do before you became a SAHM?

I went to uni to study Finance, then did a grad scheme at a large bank doing Mergers and Acquisitions. It's what I originally hoped to do whilst at uni (although even then I knew I wanted to have family and kids more than being a career woman) but in reality I realised I hated working, I didn't enjoy it at all, although the salary was great I felt no motivation at all. I was dreaming of starting a family and quitting. 4 years into my career, after completing the grad scheme and working just under 1 year extra, I quit as I became pregnant and wanted to concentrate on my family.

Very glad that it gave me some work experience in case I ever need to go back to work ('need' as I highly doubt I'll want to) and I made some great friends... although increasingly losing touch with those friends because they're all very career orientated, I'm more interested in potty training at the moment so interests have diverged.

And before anyone criticises, I know that would have been a great career path. I'm just saying that FOR ME it wasn't what I wanted. But so much respect to those that I was on the grad scheme with and who stayed and plan to stay for the foreseeable future!

OP posts:
Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:19

EezyOozy · 15/08/2023 22:57

Are you married?

Yes

OP posts:
Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:20

WesterChick · 15/08/2023 23:00

How many kids do you have now and hope to have?

I have one daughter now. I hope to have 3-4

OP posts:
Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:21

Blahahahah · 15/08/2023 23:04

I sometimes get confused by what is meant by a SAHM are you a SAHM because if you worked you wouldn't earn enough to cover childcare, so not cost effective to work or because you are supported by a partner who is wealthy?

I have family money / savings from my own family and I want to spend time with my children instead of working. My husband earns a decent salary too. If I worked I would be able to cover the costs of childcare, although admittedly not a huge amount would be left over.

OP posts:
Original poster
LlamaMamma · 16/08/2023 02:24

fullbloom87 · 15/08/2023 23:13

I was a sahm in my 20's. I have mixed feeling about it. Whilst I loved the time with my little ones, now they're older I kind of wish I'd been a bit more selfish and concentrated on my career. I would have felt a lot more confident in myself if I had and not felt as left behind.

Are you worried about any regrets you might have?

No regrets to be honest... I didn't love my job, when my working (non mum) friends discuss work I feel no desire whatsoever to go back to work, both for friends still in banking like I was and friends in different industries.

I think that I personally would regret it w lot more if I missed significant events in my child's life due to being employed. Again I mean FOR ME! If anyone else is employed and happy but weren't there when their child took their first step then I'm happy for them, and if others need adult company not nursery rhymes 24/7 then that's understandable too!

OP posts: