I’m a vicar: ask me anything!

[Holyannie]

Hello,

I’m a Church of England vicar in a semi-rural context. Ask me anything! (Weddings, funerals, Christenings or anything about what a vicar does day to day). 🙂

Oh right. Not a rule any Vicar I know follows then. And the previous link you posted only said "should" so clearly whoever is writing these official websites doesn't know either!

Thank you so much for your answers, @Holyannie . I have enjoyed reading the thread.

A big one, I’m afraid…

If God is all powerful, he could stop wars and famine and genocide. Why doesn’t he? I remember hearing about a Jewish man in WW2 who saw children being taken away to the gas chambers. He prayed “God, if you exist, please stop this”. Nothing happened and he said he lost his faith from that moment.

Another question - if I pray to God for an answer and then an idea / thought comes to my head, how do I know if it’s God or not? What about people who commit terrible crimes and say “it is God’s will”?

And finally - how do you know if a good thing happened because of God and isn’t just a coincidence? Somebody told me that the only difference is in perception - an atheist will say it was a coincidence and a Christian will say that God intended it. An atheist friend also told me that Christians only want to believe God does good things, not bad (i.e. it wouldn’t be God’s fault that someone had a heart attack but it would be thanks to him that they survived).

Thank you! I really want to find my faith but struggle with the above questions.

These are important questions!

If God is all powerful, he could stop wars and famine and genocide. Why doesn’t he

I can’t imagine anyone could look at some of the atrocities that have happened in history and around the world today and question God’s goodness. For me, these events are clear evidence that we live in a sinful world that is not how it is meant to be. I think the problem here is free will. God has given humans free will to act as free agents in charge of our own lives and behaviour. So at what point should God override our free will, step in and stop the violence? If a drunk driver swerves towards a cyclist, should the hand of God step in and redirect the car? If a schoolchild pushes another child in the playground, should God step in and restrain the child? And if God always intervened to prevent every tragedy, what would that mean for our identity and experience as humans? It’s a big question.

if I pray to God for an answer and then an idea / thought comes to my head, how do I know if it’s God or not? What about people who commit terrible crimes and say “it is God’s will”?

You’re right that some people think they are hearing God’s voice and are actually experiencing serious mental health problems, or are otherwise deluded. I think there are lots of sensible things we can do to discern God’s will. Does the idea keep coming back, when we pray about it? Do those who know us well and love us think this would be a good idea for us? Does it accord with Christian teaching and is it an ethical thing to do? If we start to test it (apply for the job etc) does it seem to work out? Does it feel right?

how do you know if a good thing happened because of God and isn’t just a coincidence?
Interesting! Yes statistically coincidences happen sometimes. That’s a mathematical fact! But think for people who have a theistic world view, they see the hand of God in everything since God made the world. The Christian description for this is providence. So is it a coincidence that I bumped into my friend in town and we had a good chat? Yes, probably! Can I also be thankful for God that it happened and count it as a blessing? Yes, if I believe God’s providence is all around us all the time.

@Holyannie , thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions.

I am grateful for your Mumsnet ministry! 🙌

There was a question of mine they was missed earlier (not surprising as you’re being asked so many) about the Church’s beliefs around termination? Are they accepting of it or do they class the woman as a sinner? And does their stance change based on the circumstances of the conception, I.e casual unprotected sex versus a rape?

Thank you.

Sorry I missed this. I don’t think the Church of England has one stance on this (that I’m aware of) because opinions vary and it’s a complex ethical issue. Personally I agree with the teaching of the Episcopal Church, USA on this issue that abortion should be safe, legal and rare.

If the church states that it should be “rare” then that implies they don’t think it’s something that should be done?

Do you know what their view is on the woman who has a termination? Are they seen as sinners?

You can read their position in more detail here: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/uploads/filer_public/93/09/93092f7e-fc3b-44db-ab34-a99b6316f77b/micrc_episcopal_statement_re_ab.docx#:~:text=However%2C%20in%201994%2C%20the%20Church,of%20acting%20upon%20her%20decision.%22

The church acknowledges there will be loss whenever a decision for an abortion is made while also acknowledging that there will be circumstances where this loss may be the greater good.

I think the view would be that in a perfect, sinless world, there wouldn’t ever be a need for abortion. But that’s not the world we live in. We live in a complex world, and sometimes we are making unideal choices in unideal circumstances, and sometimes termination of a pregnancy is the best choice available within that framework.

No, it doesn’t say anything about the woman specifically. For a start, she’s always going to be half of the people involved in the conception in any scenario. Then there’s a huge variety of circumstances that may be involved.

This is, as I’m sure you’re aware, in quite stark contrast to the views of the Roman Catholic Church, some Anglicans and many right wing evangelicals.

I’m going to close this off now and change my user name, but thank you all for your questions and contributions and best wishes. 🙏

@Holyannie thankyou so much for this thread. I'm asking for it to be moved to Classics, I could read it like a favourite book over again!

Still working my way through this chat but I was happy to read this one. That was certainly the moment where I felt this shiver of something go through me and felt we had become married. It was both magical and kind of terrifying.

Hope you don't mind me sneaking in a couple of quick ones just in case you have time at a later point.

1. A close family member of mine has just been tragically bereaved at a young age - I know he goes to church and the vicar has offered prayers etc, but is there anything else that the vicar might be able to do for him (if she has time) e.g. pop round for a cuppa, suggest support groups etc? Or is that beyond her job description?

2. I feel so drawn to a local church and often pop in to sit, think and pray, but I've not been raised in a religious family and the idea of going to a service is scary - when I've been before e.g. for Christenings it's clear that everyone else knows what to do and has been going forever. Is there another way I could try to engage more without taking that step? I never see anyone else in there when I go in (tends to be during the day or early evening).

This is the best way I have ever seen these questions answered, even though you were honest that you don't have definitive resolutions for some of them (perhaps because of that). I am boringly agnostic and don't have a question of my own but thank you for the whole thread, it's been a lovely read with lots to think about.

Hello. How do I get over the violent death of someone who was young? I am really struggling with this despite being a person who has faith. Thank you.

My DD (a teacher) is on the road to ordination in the C of E (not yet done conference).
What advice would you have for her?

Hi,
I am a church administrator, my question; the vicar in the next village has left so their church and another 4 in the benefice are without a vicar, would it be politically correct for me to reach out to those villages and invite them to our church and send our service times etc, asking you instead of my vicar incase this is unheard of! Many thanks, Jo

This is not my thread but... I think trying to pinch parishioners while they are in an interregnum would be completely out of order. The churches without vicars (assuming CofE) will in my experience be getting cover and doing their best to keep going. Put yourself in their place.

Lol, I wasn't trying to pinch them I was trying to offer them somewhere to go whilst their parish finds a new vicar! I think you misunderstood my thread.

Yes - but has their church just stopped running services while looking for a new vicar? My church is in interregnum at the moment but we are still operating and services are continuing.

If God is loving and all powerful, why does he allow such bad things to happen in the world? Why should I worship and pray to him when he's let people I love die?

How do you know your God is the right God and not just the one you were socialised into believing in? (or did you convert from previously being another religiom/atheist? If so - why?)

Good point, that's something I'll check first, if they have visiting Ministers and still running I won't butt in!

Just chiming in with the PP on this - my benefice is in interregnum at the moment, and it's quite a delicate balance to keep it all going. I absolutely get where you're coming from, but frankly we'd be gutted if someone did this as it makes it so much harder for any new incumbent, or for the PCC and interim/visiting ministers.

FWIW, we currently have a curate who is working really hard to keep services going, so don't assume that all parishes in interregnum will rely on visiting Ministers. We also have a lay reader who is amazing.

(I could be totally wrong - and I'm sure the OP or others will correct me if so; I'm just an ordinary church member with no particular knowledge - but my impression has been that vicars tend to 'step in' for colleagues slightly further afield, in order deliberately to avoid drawing congregations out of their local area? I know in a sense it doesn't matter where you worship and of course people end up being drawn to churches that aren't their local church, but if whole communities end up being 'left out' because no one wants to go to their local church, that feel wrong.)

Is anyone still Churched after giving birth?

In Catholicism, this stopped happening after Vatican II! Did it keep going within the C of E? Surely not!