I’m a vicar: ask me anything!

[Holyannie]

Hello,

I’m a Church of England vicar in a semi-rural context. Ask me anything! (Weddings, funerals, Christenings or anything about what a vicar does day to day). 🙂

Do you have a favourite service of the year?

Holy Week is very special. I love the Easter vigil when we light the fire and welcome the hope of Easter morning. Maundy Thursday is very moving, and Ascension Day is underrated 🙂.

Who picks the Sunday's hymns
It depends. At our bigger church, we have a director of music who chooses them generally. At our smaller churches it’s me, my iPhone and speaker so usually me 😫.

Do you enjoy Christmas day or just spend the day running round services like a mad woman?
I love midnight mass and the crib service/nativity play. But to be honest by Christmas morning I’m usually running on fumes and feeling knackered and also feeling bad that I’m not doing so great as a Mum with the lunch, family etc.

'One more step along the world I go' for thr 5th wedding in a row.
I couldn’t possibly comment.*

• Are you a mind reader 😂.

This is a ‘what do vicars do in the community’ question.
Do you ever engage with non-churchgoer residents in your parish, or only the faithful?
We moved to a tiny rural village - population under 400 - a few years ago.
Expected the vicar to knock and introduce themself to check us out. Nothing.
Okay, we are not churchgoers, do vicars somehow know this in advance?
The village church has many fund-raising events during the year which it wants all residents to support. We have always been supportive, time wise and financially.
Meanwhile, we recently suffered a very traumatic event. All the village knew about it. But there was not even a ‘how are you doing’ from the vicar.
Perhaps we are not even on his radar because we don’t attend church? I’m probably answering my own questions but would appreciate your view.

This is a really helpful perspective. I’m a bit torn when new people move into the community because part of me would love to say welcome and hello, but part of me doesn’t want to feel like I’m being too pushy? Or think that would be super weird!

Similar with a tragedy. I’m so sorry for what you have gone through. We recently had a tragedy in our village with a family I have seen around and would recognise, but wouldn’t have known their names if that makes sense? And I was in two minds because I didn’t want to push myself on them at what could be quite a private time. So often I will wait for people to reach out if they want to. Maybe that’s not the right approach?

I generally get to know people in the community through all kinds of things: charity events, the school, local businesses etc.

Thanks @Holyannie for your response.
From my perspective, yes please do reach out to new people!
You may be rejected but you may also be welcomed. Am sure your training will have given you a tough enough skin whichever.
Thanks for this thread. Very informative. All the best in your ministry.

You are very clever @Holyannie . Please come to dinner, I'd love to meet you face to face if your life ever swoops into SE Cornwall. I promise you great food!

What's your favourite hymn of all time?
And which hymn do you secretly dislike?
:-)

Thank you 🙂

I go through phases! But I love Thine be the Glory, Lord of the Years, Be Still my Soul and “Dear Lord and Father of Mankind”.

I don’t enjoy the dirges we sing during Lent.

What about you?

Ooh, I love Dear Lord and Father of mankind
My favourite is probably 'I the Lord of Sea and Sky'
Not keen on 'One more step along the world I go' but I think I actually had that at my wedding! Not my choice although the words are very apt.

I call myself a militant atheist. BUT:

I love the art & architecture some churches have.
I love the churches as a feature of history, for example Canterbury Cathedral, or St Paul's in London.
I love the quietness of churches.
Some choral music is very uplifting.
I love that you don't have to be religious to use a church. I used to take my daughter to an excellent church cafe near me, when she was small. I've seen many community groups use churches for a place to meet too
I'm a railway worker and there are chaplains who you can call if you need some support for example after an accident or a terrorist attack. They are the kindest people and it doesn't matter what you believe in, they are easy to chat with during tough times.
Every vicar I've spoken to has a good go at explaining their ideas and opinions on faith, and always seem interested in me being of absolutely no faith whatsoever. I've never felt like they want to convert me, and it's always a fair debate..

@Holyannie do you encounter a lot of people like me?

Stendhal syndrome? Ah, now we have an explanation for the Screaming in The Sistine Chapel Phenomenon! 😀😁

@Holyannie I think I like the sound of your church. I currently go to a very similar sounding one. It's very welcoming. I've had some bad experiences when I was in the Evangelical and Fundamentalist movements, but I feel the low key Anglican church i go to now suits me very much.

That did make me laugh, yes maybe that was it!

Best. Classics. Thread. Ever. Aside maybe from T Rex in the supermarket and Sex in my hedge!

How do you explain the trinity?

One of my DC only has 2.

I'd also like to ask a potentially controversial question.
What's your view on trans people? If they are "born in the wrong body" (I know that's supposedly not the correct thing anymore, but how else can you describe feeling like you're a woman in a man's body and vice versa) then does that mean God makes mistakes?

How much are you paid? Are you even paid for it?

Thanks for this. Yes, absolutely! There’s actually an atheist in our church choir and plenty of the bell ringers. If and when people convert to religion, it generally comes from within them (they’ve been searching for something) not from a heavy handed person trying to convert them.

That’s a huge question! The Trinity is that God is one God, the same one true God of the Old Testament. But also three persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. They are in a relationship together of perfect unity and love.

Don’t worry! Probably the vicar just didn’t know about the rule.

I’m a bit nervous to answer this question on mumsnet because it’s such a controversial issue on here and provokes a lot of strong feeling! We clearly live in an imperfect world, where many things are not the way they are ideally meant to be. The Christian explanation for this is “the Fall”: that we live in a fallen world because of sin. So I have no problem accepting that gender dysphoria is real. I could say more about this and my personal opinions about the issue, but they wouldn’t represent the views of the church and I feel like the thread would maybe get derailed so I will leave it there.

Yes, I’m paid in line with the vicar’s stipend for my diocese. They vary but are around £27,000. Housing also comes with my job, and the pension is good.

But its not a rule. He'd been a Vicar so long he was a week off retirement so I'm sure he knew.

Thank you.

It’s is a rule, according to canon law:

For every child to be baptized there shall be not fewer than three godparents, of whom at least two shall be of the same sex as the child and of whom at least one shall be of the opposite sex; save that, when three cannot conveniently be had, one godfather and godmother shall suffice

https://www.churchofengland.org/about/leadership-and-governance/legal-services/canons-church-england/section-b#:~:text=For%20every%20child%20to%20be,godfather%20and%20godmother%20shall%20suffice.

The vicar was incorrect. But in my opinion it’s not a big deal.