I’m a vicar: ask me anything!

[Holyannie]

Hello,

I’m a Church of England vicar in a semi-rural context. Ask me anything! (Weddings, funerals, Christenings or anything about what a vicar does day to day). 🙂

I'm surprised all these rural churches are open on other days than Sundays. Does it mean there's someone working in them all the time. I find it hard to imagine small churches having the staff/volunteers for that.

Thank you for this thread. I have some questions

Do you welcome gay people into your congregation? How are they treated? How do you respond to homophobia?

How do you keep yourself safe? Have you ever been threatened or felt threatened? How did you respond?

Do you have any of your congregation in prison? Do you do prison visits? How do you reintegrate them back into the congregation when they come out?

I have other questions, but I think that is quite a lot

Thank you Annie! (I would have won that debate!)

I do think the payment issue is a big one as pp said. Our local parish has been without a vicar for 2 years and in that time a retired woman (assistant priest) has fulfilled the role unpaid 🙁

Interesting thread and one of considered starting myself as I'm a trainee minister (in a different denomination). Recently I heard from friends in both the C of E and other traditions that they're struggling to get and retain clergy, with one of the reasons being that many people are tired, burned out, fed-up of mud-slinging and well, the wages aren't exactly great either.

That was a bit disheartening for me (right at the start of my journey) and even though I 100% know I'm on the right path, any thoughts on this? If you could choose again, would you still choose ministry life? What could national church bodies do to attract more people to ministry?

I’m going to go back and read the thread properly later but are you able to explain the meaning of the Holy Spirit to me? I’ve always understood it to be a sort of feeling within oneself but I have no basis for that.

Sorry, just catching up! I definitely felt a sense of “call” to be a priest but for me it came quite slowly and grew over time, and felt like quite a natural step. I was very involved in children’s work at my church and very involved in pastoral care at school, and as you say there is a big overlap of skill set between teaching and clergy. There’s a lot of vicars around who are former teachers.

No they’re just open for anyone to pop in. We have volunteers that open in the morning and close up at night.

I think like a lot of caring professions and key workers, we are seeing a lot of exodus and burnout after the pandemic. I know a couple of vicars signed off on stress at the moment. It definitely is a problem and you have to be boundaried and find ways to put yourself and your family first at times.

Thanks. I'm a chapel girl and they're usually only open for a service. Of course, I realise that big churches in towns are often open all week, but there is usually someone working there.

Sure 🙂 the Holy Spirit is the third person of the Trinity, along with the Father and the Son. He (or she) came down at Pentecost to be with Jesus’s followers after he returned to heaven. But we also read about the work of the Spirit in the Old Testament. It brings life, it’s involved
in creation and creativity/inspiration and you can experience it as a feeling of peace and reassurance. It’s kind of like the wind: you can’t see it but you can feel it.

Big questions! There’s actually a prison chaplain who lives in the village so does that side of things. I could have done prison ministry as a placement option when I was training but I went to a hospice instead. Without being too outing, I think a member of our congregation may be heading to jail though after a court case so then I would go and visit him.

Personally I am very affirming of LGBT people and there are plenty at our church. Not all the congregation would share that view, but we are on a journey together.

I’ve never had reason to feel threatened but I think colleagues in inner city churches can have more of that kind of thing.

Thank you for answering me

Thanks! Yes we do tend to absorb a lot of anger and moaning. I guess because we’re kind of representing God and people can be pretty angry at God sometimes.

Sure! So there is a threefold order to ordination: deacons, priests and bishops. Priests can preside at communion, offer blessings etc. Priests and Deacons both wear dog collars and are both “reverend”. Bishops are “right reverend”. I can’t remember who is “very reverend”: maybe archdeacons or cathedral deans or something like that? Vicar is a job title. So vicar is like a GP, whereas priest is like a doctor? Because not all priests are vicars: some are hospital chaplains, school chaplains etc.

is there a church or cathedral anywhere in the world that (architecturally speaking) has stuck with you and why?

Thanks for this. I found St Basil’s cathedral in Moscow very moving because of the history of the suppression of the church there during communist times and how Christianity remained and survived during that time, and ultimately helped bring the East/West curtain down through the Solidarity movement in Poland. But sadly now it’s a different story and the Russian Orthodox Church is complicit in Russian atrocities and the Eastern church is divided against itself in Russia and Ukraine, so that’s pretty sad.

I like simple, plain chapels with a lot of history. What about you?

Hi vicar, my DH is also a CofE vicar at semi-rural village church and was just installed a couple of months ago. We live in a vicarage. I’m not a religious person - if I were anything I’d be Buddhist and I have no intention of going to church, getting involved in any church activities, joining in with the other vicars’ wives get-togethers, etc. I’m a perfectly polite and frendly when we run into church people, though. Are DH and I going to be judged for my lack of involvement do you think? I fully support DH in what he’s doing but I have a full time job of my own.

Thank you for this! Here are some thoughts.

1. I was saddened about the Mike Pilavachi revelations, but not surprised. I went to soul survivor back when I was a teenager and I think when Christianity gets too influenced by celebrity culture, it doesn’t end well. We shouldn’t be building Christian leaders up like celebrities: the focus should be on God and on all the people together as the body of Christ. It’s just too much ego and temptation for one person to be such a focus.

2. There are actually a few good retailers around now! Lotties Eco, Collared and Casual Priest (in Sweden) are my favourite. Or I just get black clothes from the high street and wear them with a dog collar.

3. I think a lot of places are struggling with outreach, especially post-pandemic. I find focusing on key events like Christmas workshops, then doing a lot of advertising on social media can help? But it is definitely hit and miss.

4. I’m really glad to hear your church is taking safeguarding so seriously. I’m hesitant to give advice because I’m not an expert, just a standard parish priest so I think it would be better to run this by your diocesan safeguarding officer. Sorry it’s just so important to get right I would want to know more about the context etc.

Hey! I hope you’re both settling in ok. I’d love to say that everyone will be completely fine but honestly I think it depends on the context and their expectations. If the previous vicar’s wife made all the cakes and ran the Sunday school, unfortunately they may have some unfair expectations. I hope it’s changing though, as more people realise that vicar’s spouses have their own lives and careers and aren’t just an extension of the vicar! I think your DH will just have to regularly reinforce the message that you’re not a churchgoer and they will eventually get used to it. I’m sorry if anyone gives you a hard time. I hope they don’t! Just do you, don’t apologise and be yourself.

Good question! I’m so glad to hear the church is welcoming of you and your partner. I think you need to really try and say what you’ve said here in the parish profile. Also maybe target particular groups within the CofE such as inclusive church, and use informal networks like Facebook to try and advertise the post? For example if you know any vicars, ask them to share it around their networks because a lot of opportunities come up by word of mouth as well as just advertising.

This is a difficult question. Yes, I believe God’s mercy is infinite and that if someone genuinely repented of their sin then they could receive forgiveness and salvation. It’s difficult because sometimes in this life some things are too terrible for any kind of reconciliation and some people should never be let out of jail. But yes, I think there has to be hope for everyone.

St Basil's is indeed an evocative building, and as you say incredibly difficult times now around the Russian orthodox church, but I suppose that is also what those buildings represent isn't it? The consistency of God/religion/spirituality across hundreds and hundreds of years.

Thankyou for asking mine!

Definitely the rectory at Deane in Hampshire, I was lucky enough to be working on a project there and we were allowed the key, as an Austen fan that was a huge treat.

And St Wilfred's in Pagham a very funny looking little building from the outside, with an incredible history and one of the most peaceful places I have ever been. I like to visit during a sea gale and then go inside to the muted silence to imagine all of the families who once trekked along the coast to worship and celebrate life events.

As above, yes I do believe that, even though it’s hard. I think if people really turned from sin and repented, then ultimately the light of Christ and the power of love would be bigger than the depths of darkness and the corruption of sin. It’s hard though, because how would heaven be heaven if, for example, the person who murdered your child was there? But I think heaven/eternity is just beyond what we can imagine and somehow there must be a way for that reality to exist in Christ.

That looks wonderful ❤️

I haven’t read the book but I did hear him speak at an event once so I think I know the gist of it. I think I would broadly be in agreement with a lot of his ideas.