I'm in a polyamorous relationship (MFM) AMA

[BubblestarUK]

Just that really, I'm in a polyamorous relationship with two men, when I meet people in real life they always want to ask me questions so I thought I'd cast the net a bit wider and open the floor on the web :)

Is one partner a bit or somewhat more intelligent than other would you say or no?

No I'd say they were of similar intellectual levels. Both are very knowledgeable about their jobs etc

Are there reputable dating Apps or websites ect, for unconventional relantships like yours out there?

No idea, I've never looked,

How on earth 🌎 did you meet up get to know about each other then?

Through our jobs when we were young,

I know this is random quirky question do you think in secondary schools, when they teach about birds and bees sex education,

Do you think they could or should mention about unconventional couplings relantships like yours

Aswell as Gay/Bisexuality relantships as long as all types of relantships are based on consensentual sex and healthy boundaries based on mutal respect,
the usaul expections

I think if lessons just focus on safety, trust and respect as well as all the basics then that pretty much covers everyone's choices,

@BubblestarUK I could see myself in this set up were it not for the fact I have my daughter still living at home. I understand completely how this may work for you adults. I'm ND and could quite happily have an extra boyfriend or an extra girlfriend hanging around but that's because I'm not jealous. And the reason I'm not jealous is because I don't really love my partners/husbands.

Would you agree with this?

quute Intriguing thread Op
In more ways than one

Sorry, another sex one... Apologies, I'm fascinated by the logistics of it!

Is one better/bigger than the other - you don't have to say which - and do they kind of complement each other or is it a similar experience with each of them?

Bigger doesn't always mean better, and they both have different styles and ways, if that makes sense. They both make me feel good in their own way x

Has having an extra income helped with the cost of living?

how do your finances work?

Thanks, was trying to get at whether they were each bringing something different to the table...!

@Casilero

@BubblestarUK I could see myself in this set up were it not for the fact I have my daughter still living at home. I understand completely how this may work for you adults. I'm ND and could quite happily have an extra boyfriend or an extra girlfriend hanging around but that's because I'm not jealous. And the reason I'm not jealous is because I don't really love my partners/husbands.

Would you agree with this?

Yes and no, i see strength in numbers, but I also really really love both of them very much, they are my world x

Also how do you have the mental energy to deal with two relationships. Sounds exhausting.

It is not my cup of tea (one man enough and I would get to jealous to share.) but still fascinating how it all works. My uncle who lived far away was apparently living with identical twins and had kids with one before he passed.

how do you have the mental energy to deal with two relationships. Sounds exhausting.

I don't think I've ever really thought about it, I'm just grateful for what I do have, and for being happy. At least if I get to 90 I can look back and go yeah I enjoyed my life and I was surrounded by good people

@Tlittle I'm sorry for your loss of your uncle.

Apologies if I've missed it, how long has this been in place?

Two years, but we've been close since late teens

How long roughly since late teens?

Had you been with the third guy before this arrangement came into being?

Do you love them as much as your children though?

I'm twice divorced and to be honest had many relationships. But I've never felt the same love or loyalty with any of my men as I have towards my children. Is this the same as how you feel? Or do you love them all in the same deep way?

Do the men ever get grumpy with each other? Would they go out for a beer together without you there? I guess I'm asking if you are the thread that holds it together or if they are genuinely good friends aside from you?

I was also going to ask if the men hang out/go to the pub etc together. And how would they describe themselves to each other, ie one is your boyfriend and one is your husband - how do they each refer to the other? Like “hi, I’m John, and this here is my…… xxx, Jim.” What’s the xxx?!

Even though they are with you in your unausaul relationship,

Are they still Wxnkers?,

Get my drift

Am reading through thread, just got to this. Unbelievably self centred. ‘Don’t think the kids have asked me..’ good god, how could they find the words. ‘Husband seems happy…’ you know fine rightly he isn’t. Looking forward to see how this plays out over the thread but immediate impression on page 3 is I’m alright Jack 🤷‍♀️ Poor kids.

I'm not against polyamorous relationships but I know for myself, the reason I'm not against it, is because I just don't love deeply enough. I'm not jealous because I don't care enough. I know there's something wrong with me but I just don't feel the same love for male partners that other people I know seem to feel. And it makes me wonder if others in these relationships do it for the same reasons I'd consider it?

Do you find it tiring

Does the second partner do childcare?

This all seems to be about what you want and no consideration to your partners or your children

Do the men have similar interests? If so, do they ever take themselves off and do/talk about/be online about those things? Are they aligned with your interests?

I think this is fine for consenting adults to have this arrangement, if you 3 are happy to share then no issue. However, bringing someone else into the family with kids feels wrong on so many levels. They must be affected, you just don't see it. I can't imagine any child being ok with this, it's actually really worrying you don't even know their thoughts, what must be going on in their heads?

We all sleep together in a big bed made up of a double and single

This sounds really challenging! I can't sleep well in the same room as my husband, let alone the same bed. He snores, I don't. I need the radio on, he finds that disturbing. I like a low light, he needs it dark. I like to read for a while before sleeping, he's out for the count and snoring in minutes. Adding yet another person to the mix could well end up a literal nightmare. Three competing sets of tinny headphones, three lots of nocturnal farting, insomnia notwithstanding, three people getting up for a pee and pulling the duvet off, not being able to get back to sleep and wandering off for a cup of tea. Crikey.
Must take a huge amount of commitment.

This whole scenario smacks of comedy/farce to me. I have led a bit of a sheltered life though. Never mind. I've made myself chuckle thinking about it.