I'm in a polyamorous relationship (MFM) AMA

[BubblestarUK]

Just that really, I'm in a polyamorous relationship with two men, when I meet people in real life they always want to ask me questions so I thought I'd cast the net a bit wider and open the floor on the web :)

Surely you're doing it for the sex though? If you wanted someone mainly to carry furniture, fix the car and do DIY there are tradespeople you can hire for those jobs - and you pay them with cash not sex.

Doing what for the sex? The sex is a bonus to our relationship. I'm in it for the love, the support, the care x

Fancy stuff = I meant like movie trips, meals out, candlelit dinners in cosy bistros and nice wine bars etx,

Do you have a higher sex drive than your husband

I'd say our sex drives are equal. Sometimes his is higher than mine and viceVersa

To answer your questions OP, I don’t think most adults read erotic fiction, watch pornography or buy sex toys. I am sure a large chunk do (particularly men and pornography) but I don’t think it’s most. Maybe that’s just my experience though.

"To answer your questions OP, I don’t think most adults read erotic fiction, watch pornography or buy sex toys. I am sure a large chunk do (particularly men and pornography) but I don’t think it’s most. Maybe that’s just my experience though."

Really? Nearly every female friend I know owns at least one sex toy, I thought that was a pretty common thing.

What do your female friends think of your thruple set up?

Most female friends comment that I'm lucky, but they could just be being kind,

😀They are. I have polyam friends- younger- and I say exactly the same thing when I am actually thinking " bloody hell that sounds like a second job". Though they live separately, so have to factor in commute time.

That's fair, but to me it's definitely worth it x

How does it work when you all have sex together? Is it kind of one after the other or do you all join in together?

The relationship feels very centred around you, if the men are not intimate and they sleep apart when you are not there. Do you feel a lot of pressure to keep it together?

Did you instigate the arrangement?
Do you ever wonder if your husband is just agreeing to keep you happy?

You still haven’t answered why the relationship would end if husband wanted a girlfriend. How did you get to decide on it and he can’t thats not polygamous that’s you deciding and husband agreeing for a quiet life.

thruple is what you have

I feel for kids here cos I’ll bet they are being ribbed/teased or worse over this and they won’t know how to tell you for fear of upsetting you all

How does it work when you all have sex together? Is it kind of one after the other or do you all join in together?

Sometimes both, sometimes one, sometimes just manual stimulation,

The relationship feels very centred around you, if the men are not intimate and they sleep apart when you are not there. Do you feel a lot of pressure to keep it together?

No I don't feel any pressure, if it works out forever great, if it doesn't at least we have lots of great memories together,

Did you instigate the arrangement?
Do you ever wonder if your husband is just agreeing to keep you happy?

I have wondered this yes, and I've asked him but he's adamant he's happy, I think it relieves some pressure off of him in some ways, more people to share the work loads with, and he doesn't have to force himself to enjoy going out on dates etc,

You still haven’t answered why the relationship would end if husband wanted a girlfriend. How did you get to decide on it and he can’t thats not polygamous that’s you deciding and husband agreeing for a quiet life.

Fair enough, but as I said before i don't know till it happened but I'd definitely listen to his reasoning had things been different

thruple is what you have

I feel for kids here cos I’ll bet they are being ribbed/teased or worse over this and they won’t know how to tell you for fear of upsetting you all

If that's true then that's awful, however I'm pretty sure they'd tell me. But if I found out that was the case then we would all discuss it and decide what to do from there.

I've known two lots of thuples. One thruple included two people with mental health issues one of which also had ADHD and one of which has Autism.

With the other thruple two people had mental health issue and one had bipolar and one had autism.

Both thruples ended up splitting up acrimoniously. I wasn't surprised.

I don't really care what people get up to in private but I can't help thinking that being in a thruple is making life unnecessarily complicated.

OP, are you at all worried about what your kids think?

Ooh I can answer this one because I sleep with my partner and my dog in a super king-size bed. I sleep very fucking badly wedged in between two space invaders. I wake up every morning wishing I had kicked them both out and made them sleep in the kitchen.

Sometimes both, sometimes one, sometimes just manual stimulation,

You mean sometimes one is just watching you with the other? Would you say it's pretty even how often you have sex with each of them?

I hope they don't snore I have enough problems trying to shut one husband up

How was the bill splitting decided? Seems unfair that the 2nd guy pays the same when he doesn't have any children

Do you have professional jobs? Would you say you're alternative in style? Like coloured hair etc

I'm sure your 14 year old at least is mortified. Parents of teens don't have sex with one partner, never mind two!

One of mine was around that age when they thought they were being smart and asked what we used to do with our time in the "olden days". I said, "sex, we had lots and lots of sex". Said teen wasn't seen for dust. Kids, particularly teens, don't like to be seen as 'different'.

God bless your energy though!

Could you not get a superking bed though? What if one of the kids comes into your room feeling sick or after a nightmare, and there the three of you are?!

Hi Op

Is one partner a bit or somewhat more intelligent than other would you say or no?

Are there reputable dating Apps or websites ect, for unconventional relantships like yours out there?

How on earth 🌎 did you meet up get to know about each other then?

I know this is random quirky question do you think in secondary schools, when they teach about birds and bees sex education,

Do you think they could or should mention about unconventional couplings relantships like yours

Aswell as Gay/Bisexuality relantships as long as all types of relantships are based on consensentual sex and healthy boundaries based on mutal respect,
the usaul expections

It's pretty even yes.

The bill splitting was the thirds insistence, I thought he should be paying less given that the children are not his responsibility but he feels we should be equal. He wants to do it, and it's made working through the cost of living crisis easier on us as a household which I'm really grateful for.

No we aren't alternate, regular clothes, normal hair, though receding and going grey at roots etc, they are both in professional capacities in their jobs. Mine is less so now, I'm in a different job than when we met.

Could you not get a superking bed though? What if one of the kids comes into your room feeling sick or after a nightmare, and there the three of you are?! If the youngest wakes poorly or nightmare and comes in while we are sleeping, they will go to whom ever they want and we get up with them, help them, then go and cuddle them in their bed,

Sorry, another sex one... Apologies, I'm fascinated by the logistics of it!

Is one better/bigger than the other - you don't have to say which - and do they kind of complement each other or is it a similar experience with each of them?