My dh walked away from his children after fighting to see them for six years - AMA

[Katypp]

Family courts about 12 years ago - things hopefully will have changed by now

@Porcinimushroom i read the post and it says he was paying 80% and reduced it as couldn't maintain it , so its not me who cannot read the post

@Pumperthepumper you ignored the sentence before where the ex asked for 80% of his income, which he paid for a year (if I read the OP's post correctly and for a stepchild too)

It’s exactly what the OP said, I quoted it for you:

CSA amount at the time was around £250 a month. She allowed very limited contact (in her home) as long as he paid that, which he did for a year, but things went awray as soon as he tried to reduce it.

And if all this happened twelve years ago, is he seeing his kids now?

@Pumperthepumper you haven't included the first part where it says she wanted 80% of his wage and then csa was £250 implying she wanted more and he paid the 80% for a year then brought it down

Not true. My friends were going through court and there kids are now in their 20s and judges were ordering overnights for Dads even for quite young babies

Ah, is the that relating to him actually paying 80% of his salary in CM? Guess we’ll wait for the OP to confirm.

You should have said “some” abusive men.

It’s also a bear out where “some” mothers manipulate the system and their own kids to make sure their ex’s lives are completely destroyed. If that means destroying the child’s relationship with their dad then so be it.

To simply dismiss any parent who has been though this is very narrow minded

@Pumperthepumper as another poster had said you ignored the bit before this and i guess not seeing them as op said live in hope

I have to say I agree with this (as someone who has experienced the family court from both the mother and fathers perspective). Men are treated like absolute crap in the system and that includes social services, the court etc.

My DH has spent a long time fighting for his son due to having contact stopped by his ex but this was all turned around on him saying he has an obsessive quality about his ex due to keeping taking it back to court. A psychologist concluded that both parents were causing emotional harm to their child due to conflict yet it was only my DH contact that was at risk. Completely sexist system and I don't blame some men for walking away. I've personally had enough of it all.

Has he ever tried again to make contact since ‘walking away’?

I didn’t ignore it, I didn’t think it was relevant to the £250, until I realised (from you!) that it could mean he was paying 80% of his salary (doubtful, but we’ll wait and see).

I’m sure he is seeing his now adult children. I’m certain of it.

To be fair the posts by op are written very badly. She could be saying he paid 80% of his wages or the £250. It's really not clear. Not sure I believe that any man would pay 80% to his ex. How did he survive? For how long?

I’m sure he is seeing his now adult children. I’m certain of it.

😂

You need to work on your comprehension skills, as you are completely misunderstanding the very text you are quoting.

Some of you have blinkers what one court may decide to another is very different
To believe that in every case family court only gets it wrong when its in favour of a man but not the other way
There are a couple of people saying its happened they have seen it etc
Like i said more men behave poorly but there are women too
I know at least a couple who use their children as weapons
I also agree i know more men who have walked away or barely bother but its not an instant this never happens ever as a mother would never do this

Or maybe you are? How much would you bet that he was paying 80% of his salary in CM?

You’re the only person saying mothers never do this though.

@Pumperthepumper Op implied he is not seeing his kids as after 12 years of no contact and a mum telling them all sorts its unlikely they will be in touch, unless they ever doubt mum later on life
Especially if young and not able to remember much

It didn’t say it was CM. It said he was paying it at her request

@Pumperthepumper no there are loads saying this didn't happen as though a mum could never do this
Just because you can't read the post correctly not my issue
Op states he couldn't survive on paying 80% only lasted a while as got into debt etc so answered that part also
Why can't you believe he paid 80% if desperate ??

@Witsendwilly exactly only reading the parts they want just so they can call Op a liar basically
Like nothing like this ever happens , granted prob rare but also does happen unfortunately

I haven’t dismissed it I have asked certain questions of the OP who is being predictable in her responses if at all

i don’t need to say some abusive men I said abusive men, I didn’t say men have abused the system I said abusive men. I’ve qualified my group of men as being abusive men already. They don’t include nice men and decent fathers who rightly use court for contact but let’s face it most of those men manage to achieve a result with their ex without the need for court so ……go figure.

some abusive men can’t be arsed to go to court and get thrills out of making threats

some women are awful and lie in court.

does that make you feel better?

No there aren’t. There’s absolutely loads of posts claiming there are though.

I don’t believe it’s possible to regularly pay 80% of your salary towards anything long term. But we’ll wait for @Katypp to confirm, after claiming we could ask anything.

If ex is so bad then I’ve no idea how full custody with her is being framed as beneficial to them.
it’s the same classic line men have been using forever to excuse why it’s not their fault they don’t see their kids.

And how much are you prepared to bet he was giving his ex 80% of his salary just because she asked for it?