I'm a mum of 6. AMA.

[Lotsofbabies6]

That's it, really. I'll answer if I find any time 😅

They do swimming and one does football. One does dancing. Eldest refuses to do anything. 6 year old has just quit drama class and 11 year old has just quit youth club.

They have friends around sometimes, but I find this hard because I'm so introverted. I'm working on it though.

I’m the same it’s all I’ve known since late teenage years but I enjoy it I find the more I have the more organised and productive I’ve become !

I am exactly the same!! I was hopeless with my first compared to now 🤣

I'm one of eight, all full siblings. One died in his late teens but apart from myself (I have 3DC aged 27,18&16) they all have only children. I think that's quite telling. I'm 50 now and my parents are no longer here but in their generation where we lived it wasn't uncommon.
How do you feel your DC will think about being from a large family in the future? Do you think they get enough privacy (I always felt even with two homes with five bedrooms there was never the quiet to study.)
I am very close to an older sister who was more of a mother than my own purely because DM didn't have the time for us. I adore my siblings now as adults. We all get on really well but none of us would have chosen it.

Genuine question: are posters on this thread who are supportive of large families also keen on Indian and African women having large families? Because every climate thread has someone blaming them for climate change. But in the UK it is to be encouraged, despite British people having a much larger carbon footprint...

The comments on here 🙄 op I’m one of 9 although I wanted lots of children i just have the one atm

Did it take long to choose their names? Finding the perfect name can be so hard, I'd probably struggle trying to come up with 6 I liked enough😅

Firstly you sound lovely! Very patient and kind. TBH even 40/50 years back you wouldnt have been at all unusual! Families are getting smaller as more women work and need to pay for CC as well.Just agog at your washing pile .Are you managing with cost of living ok? DC will love it when they are grown up .I am an only child with a cousin I am close to . DP passed on

I know that big families always say they find time for all of the children's needs, but I wonder to what degree - and how few nice-to-have 'extras' there are as a result?

Surely something has to give, as there's only the same amount of time (even if money were unlimited) to be spread out among more people?

Do you find yourself focusing on their needs, but regretting that you don't have more time to spend doing fun or frivolous things with them all individually?

Do you sometimes think that you maybe don't 'know' them all as individuals - all the little quirks about them - as well as you might if you only had one or two?

Do you find that (beyond the baby and egocentric toddler phases) they 'cut their cloth' and deliberately hold back on asking for all the things they would like (not just talking expensive presents) and time they'd like to spend with you, as they realise how many children your available resources have to cover?

Siblings may be more beneficial in later life than
an extra holiday or spacious bedroom 🤷🏼‍♀️

6 is a lot but she’s hardly Sue Radford. As long as she’s approachable to her children and makes an effort to stay on top of their current issues and things they might be worrying about etc, they’ll be fine.

I know lots of big families, of 4-7 kids, and they’re mainly happy and close to their siblings as they get older. Most of them are quite wealthy and the mums are SAHMs so no issue of deprivation or cramped living conditions.

Mumsnet’s attitude to child rearing is too involved to be healthy a lot of the time, kids shouldn’t need full time counselling from their parents or 3 ski holidays a year.

but I find this hard because I'm so introverted

It goes with the territory of having children I'm afraid, whether you have one or six. Please don't deny your children having friends over.

I don't deny it and I said they have friends over

Thank you. I agree with all of this

I know it’s mad. I had so much fun with my siblings growing up! We’re close now as adults although all very different and they do drive me round the bend at times. I wouldn’t change it though. There’s no more truth to rubbish on here than there is to the ‘only children are spoilt and lonely’ crap.

Yes, I often wish I had more time for fun and frivolous things. Maybe they do hold back a little when they're older. Only a little. But then I wouldn't want to raise egotistical children I suppose

I agree Malthusianism is generally deeply racist. Also just totally wrong about the nature of the challenge and the current global population trajectory.

Thank you and I'm sorry to hear about your DP. I'm trying not to think about the cost of living! We shop in Aldi now 😅

Washing pile is manageable. We do one wash a day. DH puts a wash on to finish when he gets up for work. He then sorts it out when he's up. I'll empty the tumble dryer when I can in the day and then he will put the clothes away when he has chance.

Just to add I’m pregnant with number 2 (likely my last due to health reasons), but if I was in good health I would have loved to have 4.

My friend made a slightly barbed comment the other day about big families and the environment. I had to laugh, she’s one of 2 but I’ve never known such a jet setting family - she went on 8 holidays last year (4 of them long haul), is very materialistic, drives everywhere, their family have a yacht ‘for fun’.

None of the big families I know really take holidays, unless local, clothes are hand-me-downs and nothing much is bought new. The kids play together rather than needing expensive hobbies or days out to keep them entertained, they seem better at occupying themselves.

Siblings may be more beneficial in later life than
an extra holiday or spacious bedroom

Absolutely, but not necessarily from a financial perspective. Just talking in general terms here (not a question to OP), and I might be a terrible person for even thinking it, but, if you're in a position to leave your children with an inheritance when the time comes, you can really transform their lives for the better and less stressful and give them a lot more options (e.g. earlier retirement opportunities).

When we're gone (assuming the lot hasn't gone on unavoidable care home fees), our DS will inherit a house for himself (whether to live in or to sell); if there were 6, 8, 10 of them, a big life-changing amount of money would translate to 'only' a nice windfall for them all.

A lot depends, but I think it must be the worst of both worlds if you end up not very close to/hating your siblings, so you don't get to enjoy the lifelong friendship and shared experiences; but then you also only get a small share of what inheritance there may be in the end.

@Lotsofbabies6

op don’t you have time to yourself?

when do you get time to go to gym or exercise or do hobbies or go out for cocktails or whatever with your mates??

make time for you!

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll but what are the odds of ‘hating’ every one of your 4 or 5 siblings I don’t know anyone who does! Your ‘model’ places a lot of value on money, OP’s on people - both are good bets to make. On a balance I would choose people as I think being poorer but in a good circle is better than rich and lonely/isolated. But who knows how things will turn out? Both are strengths.

It’s really not, no.

The average family size in India stands at 2, and below population replacement level of 2.1.

I imagine that large families in India are increasingly rare and also the subject of interest of those with smaller families.

I'm not sure why you would assume posters who express an interest in - and generally support - larger families to be the very same people who complain about family sizes in other countries?

I realise it's par for the course on this forum to pretend that everyone you disagree with is also the very same person who is objectional and dislikeable on other matters but it's a shitty technique that simply demonstrates your own reductive prejudice.

What do you expect her to do at this stage?

I don't really have much time to myself. I don't exercise, have hobbies or go out with friends really. But that can change when the children are older