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I’m a big family mummy

334 replies

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 13:35

So whist talking to a random mum at soft play she was surprised at our “big family” 9 children (full time custody of 3 step children) l. Never thought of us as a big family lol but ask away

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LadyKenya · 09/08/2022 16:36

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 16:26

Wow sorry went to cinema and didn’t see messages I never meant to offend or annoy any one I will respond to all comments after I’ve blow up 300 water baloons lol and am genuinely sorry if our situation offends people

What are you apologising for? The children are already there, they cannot be sent back. I was just wondering if you get any time to yourself.

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Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 16:39

emmathedilemma · 09/08/2022 16:23

I suspect every child doesn't do several activities a week, now you mention i've watched that Britains Biggest Families programme and I don't think I've seen one child go to brownies / cubs, swimming lessons, practice a musical instrument etc. Maybe it doesn't get televised but seems like a coincidence given they screen pretty much every other aspect of family life.

Actually we have 2 horses so the children ride daily, all have swimming lessons once a week, younger ones do scouts/rainbows and the 12 year olds do army cadets, parkour. I take them out each Saturday for a “afternoon out” and we swim each Sunday while roast cooks. They attend 6 different schools so school run is an absolute nightmare at times and all 3 of my teenagers work and all attend will soon be attending college (15 year old works in care home kitchen with plan to be a custody nurse). My partner often works out of county for his job meaning he’s away a lot of the week. Yes we had 2 after meeting although my little man wasn’t known about as I was on the injection. RE vasectomy I did offer to do it myself but he was less keen. I goto the gym and exercise classes with the older ones and I make a point of only taking 1 of kids to yard with me so they have time with me…. I left a job as a restaurant manager to retrain as a ta so the children never don’t have me here when they are home.


their mum doesn’t pay maintenance no but she and I get in very well (her and husband don’t) so I supervise contact so she can see them…. A court condition. And we wouldn’t ever ask her for it whilst she’s trying to sort herself out. The 12 year old earn their pennies helping out but it’s never asked of them and tends to be helping cooking or taking dog for a walk rather than cleaning. I have a chore board with the money and chore so they get to pick it.

when it’s me doing child care I do run quite a tight ship schedules are planned Sunday eve incl meals work Rotas for my big girls etc… when hubby doing it it’s organised chaos lol

oh and we have a 4 bedroom house

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bloodyunicorns · 09/08/2022 16:40

maddiemookins16mum · 09/08/2022 15:15

Honestly, MN is literally the only place I know where having wains and the environment are spoken about in the same breath.
Back in the real world people are thinking about the tear in the paddling pool, the dried cat vomit on the stair carpet and Celebrity Masterchef.

Really? Has the climate emergency escaped your notice? Lucky you.

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Caspianberg · 09/08/2022 16:44

How do you find time to get anything done?

I have one child.
If there was another 8 children I wouldn’t have done anything productive today.

Isn’t childcare really expensive for all those under 10? As I assume your dh doesn’t if working 14hrs. Or do you have a super nanny?

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RuthBrenner · 09/08/2022 16:45

No comment on the children but are you really filling that many water balloons?

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:47

@Goatinthegarden its highly likely they will be at least one of those things in future, it’s highly like they will be tax payers, there’s a good chance at least some of them will care for an elderly relative in future or do it professionally, medics perhaps less certain but out of 9 I’d say there’s a good chance one at least ends up in the nhs.

The UK is set to hit population sig. decline by 2025. We need more young people to keep services going as we will have an aging population who won’t be able to contribute much to the economy.

You all need to pipe down imho about having children being somehow indulgent or irresponsible, if you normalise this attitude you might find the children you’re objecting to will be happy to reduce the population at the other end of the lifecycle when there time comes.

Human life is precious and good actually, let’s try keeping that as a norm before we march ourselves into some hellish dystopia of population control, shall we?
FYI quoting absolute numbers is meaningless, you need to provide a lot of context to make any kind of meaningful point. Otherwise your point is “look! This is a very big number- so no need to worry about future population decrease” - too simplistic and you know it

Population decrease

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FlyingSaucerss · 09/08/2022 16:50

for the name MN is actually very anti children if you have more than the perfect 2 I have 4 and often get nasty comments on here 🤦🏻

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smartiesnskittles · 09/08/2022 16:51

Who looks after the little ones when you're at the yard?

How long does filling 300 water balloons take?

How did you manage swimming lessons when the kids were younger? Eg: childcare/changing rooms/dinner

I race around after 4 and am still limited by what we can do and attend.

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onthefencesitter · 09/08/2022 16:52

FlyingSaucerss · 09/08/2022 16:50

for the name MN is actually very anti children if you have more than the perfect 2 I have 4 and often get nasty comments on here 🤦🏻

I want 1 DC and people have told me that if i want a DC, I need to be prepared to give it a sibling! lol.

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Tashface · 09/08/2022 16:53

How do you all fit in a 4-bed house?

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MagsR2356 · 09/08/2022 16:53

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 13:55

My 3 step children we took full custody of after getting together as their mum was finding it tough and we’re about to go into care. Their ages are 17,16,15,12,12,8,4,3 and 5 months (born 25 weeks unknown pregnancy). We have 9 seater and 7 seater cars and both of us work (husband has big building company and I’m a ta). Guess because I went from 4 to 7 so quick I never saw it as big. The children all get individual attention each day with me less so their dad T moment as he works 14 hour days. We go out almost every day and they mostly get on although def some closer than others and no after my experience with baby DEFINITELY NEVER AGAIN

Sounds amazing I love big families
if you don’t mind me asking what was the experience that’s put you off?
mice said never again after each of mine and I’m still doing it again lol

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wellhelloitsme · 09/08/2022 16:54

oh and we have a 4 bedroom house

Has it been difficult logistics wise to manage this? Assuming you have a room with your dad partner that (obviously) only leaves 3 rooms for 9 kids which must be difficult?

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LuckySantangelo35 · 09/08/2022 16:56

@Devonmum2022

you must be minted OP

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Dwrcegin · 09/08/2022 16:57

Not read whole thread yet but...the ironing. How do you manage it all?

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User34352515 · 09/08/2022 16:57

Surely this thread is very, very outing with all the information OP is providing?? There aren't many families in the entire UK with 9 children who are able to afford two horses. Not to mention the fact she's listed all their ages and the fact the dad's ex-wife wanted to send them into care. Just takes one person who knows one of the kids at school to put two and two together.

For a "big family mummy" this doesn't seem very respectful for the privacy of your children. That is of course, assuming everything written here is true and not another MN fantasy thread.

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MagsR2356 · 09/08/2022 16:59

Ps do you ever have any time to yourself or any hobbies yourself?
pps the mice in my pp should have said I’ve!! Not sure why it’s auto corrected to mice!!

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ScreechingEchoChamber · 09/08/2022 16:59

You all need to pipe down imho

that's not really very humble, is it?

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Luredbyapomegranate · 09/08/2022 17:00

maddiemookins16mum · 09/08/2022 15:15

Honestly, MN is literally the only place I know where having wains and the environment are spoken about in the same breath.
Back in the real world people are thinking about the tear in the paddling pool, the dried cat vomit on the stair carpet and Celebrity Masterchef.

@maddiemookins16mum

There is nothing more real world than climate change.

Your kids will have to live with it, and they and your grandkids will think you an idiot for thinking it didn't matter.

Beyond that try following the news a bit, and maybe getting some friends who have more time/inclination to think. You will find it's talked about quite a lot.

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Goatinthegarden · 09/08/2022 17:00

Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:23

@Goatinthegarden how many children do you have?

None. DH and I have made a decision not to have children.

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Teaandcakeordeath83 · 09/08/2022 17:01

I'm intrigued by your bed pods.... Please describe them or give us a diagram or pic! 😂 I have three DC in a 2 bed house and it's a headache making sure they have space.

Ignore the snarky comments. Any tips you have for delivering 1:1 time and how the hell you organise your house would be great! X

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 17:02

FlyingSaucerss · 09/08/2022 16:50

for the name MN is actually very anti children if you have more than the perfect 2 I have 4 and often get nasty comments on here 🤦🏻

@onthefencesitter Seriously! So true, It’s really insane, it’s almost as though anyone talking about life a little outside the norm is personally offensive to some people on here. I agree with another PP who says having just one child is doing it wrong too 😂 can’t win on MN. You can however save the planet by having only two children and making sure they get to do lots of extra curricular activities and get enough attention and/or privacy… apparently

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HangOnToYourself · 09/08/2022 17:02

toomuchlaundry · 09/08/2022 16:35

For those saying well done for taking in the stepchildren, you would have to be a pretty shit dad if you let your children go into care because their mum couldn't look after them. I am surprised it got to that point, where was the dad before it got to that point?

I was wondering this.

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SouthWestChief · 09/08/2022 17:03

Lillith111 · 09/08/2022 14:16

Do you never think it’s quite selfish to your kids and the planet?

And following on from that I am always intrigued if people with lots of children think their genes are in some way so superior that they have to have more children than those simply to replace (akaBojo)

Particularly your DH as he had 3 already? So he has overpopulated twice with different women

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Abra1d1 · 09/08/2022 17:05

maddiemookins16mum · 09/08/2022 15:15

Honestly, MN is literally the only place I know where having wains and the environment are spoken about in the same breath.
Back in the real world people are thinking about the tear in the paddling pool, the dried cat vomit on the stair carpet and Celebrity Masterchef.

Quite a lot of people connect having a lot of children with the impact on the planet and the more specific housing shortage in this country.

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AyeUpMeDuck · 09/08/2022 17:05

And this is why me saving a kettle of water a day is meaningless... Imagine the washing of a 9 child family.. The showers... The baths... The electric.. the gas...

Me and little DD scrimping where energy where we can is a compete waste of time.

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