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I’m a big family mummy

334 replies

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 13:35

So whist talking to a random mum at soft play she was surprised at our “big family” 9 children (full time custody of 3 step children) l. Never thought of us as a big family lol but ask away

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:10

Lillith111 · 09/08/2022 14:16

Do you never think it’s quite selfish to your kids and the planet?

@Lillith111 living up to your handle there I see! no surprise you were banished from the garden 😉

We’re going to need people to fix the planet, so having plenty of children is a good thing. We are also going to need tax payers and carers and medical staff to be nice to us when we get too old or sick to take care of ourselves. I’m sure all of “the world is overpopulated” won’t mind going to the back of the queue given they would be happier if said carers, medics and tax payers never existed?

@Devonmum2022 sounds like hectic fun! You must be incredibly organised- do you find you have to do a lot of pre planning?

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LindseyStauffer · 09/08/2022 16:15

UnnecessaryFennel · 09/08/2022 15:34

I hope your little one is doing well, OP.

9 kids is my idea of utter hell but hats off to you for taking in the stepkids.

Hats off for OP’s husband parenting his kids full time?

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onthefencesitter · 09/08/2022 16:16

Would the cost of living crisis affect your family?

Did you use childcare?

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TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 09/08/2022 16:17

We’re going to need people to fix the planet, so having plenty of children is a good thing.

🤦‍♀️

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Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 09/08/2022 16:18

How do you manage to listen to reading every evening and read to them? I mean when they are/were primary aged.

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MyneighbourisTotoro · 09/08/2022 16:20

Of course you have a large family!
There was a thread on here a little while ago and a lot of posters were saying anymore than 2/3 children is a lot.

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mydogisthebest · 09/08/2022 16:20

No one, but no one, thinks 9 children is not a large family. I can't believe you had 4, took on 3 more and then still had another 2.

No way on earth can you give them all enough individual attention if you work.

Good job not many think like you or the planet would be fucked even sooner than it is going to be.

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Goatinthegarden · 09/08/2022 16:21

Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:10

@Lillith111 living up to your handle there I see! no surprise you were banished from the garden 😉

We’re going to need people to fix the planet, so having plenty of children is a good thing. We are also going to need tax payers and carers and medical staff to be nice to us when we get too old or sick to take care of ourselves. I’m sure all of “the world is overpopulated” won’t mind going to the back of the queue given they would be happier if said carers, medics and tax payers never existed?

@Devonmum2022 sounds like hectic fun! You must be incredibly organised- do you find you have to do a lot of pre planning?

There were 7billion people on the planet in 2012 and by the end of this year, there will be more than 8billion. We’re not short of people. Besides, there is no guarantee that all , or any, of those 9 children will be carers, medics or even tax payers.

PP keep congratulating OP for ‘taking on the stepchildren’.

They are her husband’s children. Of course they should have taken them full time when the ex wasn’t capable.

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10HailMarys · 09/08/2022 16:21

So you had four kids, then got custody of your three stepchildren, and then had two more? Even without your stepkids, six biological children is a very big family. So I guess my first question would be 'Have you not worked out what's causing it yet?'

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UnnecessaryFennel · 09/08/2022 16:21

LindseyStauffer · 09/08/2022 16:15

Hats off for OP’s husband parenting his kids full time?

Yeah that's definitely what I wrote, well done you.

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HowManyTurtles · 09/08/2022 16:21

Do you home educate?

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:21

For the people worried about the impact of the 9 extra children on the planet, here’s a nice balanced article on population/over population it’s not so clear cut really, even if it intuitively makes sense that fewer people would be better. Fewer rich people possibly would be better, but that’s more a matter of redistribution rather than ecofascistic policies around population control.

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emmathedilemma · 09/08/2022 16:23

Givemeallthegin8 · 09/08/2022 14:25

you say you give all children individual attention each day . How? If your working how do you fit time in with dinners , homework, baths, housework etc ?
I have two , work part time ( term time only ) and between the children’s activities and all I mentioned above , I don’t think I give daily individual attention- apart from bedtime

I suspect every child doesn't do several activities a week, now you mention i've watched that Britains Biggest Families programme and I don't think I've seen one child go to brownies / cubs, swimming lessons, practice a musical instrument etc. Maybe it doesn't get televised but seems like a coincidence given they screen pretty much every other aspect of family life.

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Itwillworkifyoutryit2222 · 09/08/2022 16:23

Goatinthegarden · 09/08/2022 16:21

There were 7billion people on the planet in 2012 and by the end of this year, there will be more than 8billion. We’re not short of people. Besides, there is no guarantee that all , or any, of those 9 children will be carers, medics or even tax payers.

PP keep congratulating OP for ‘taking on the stepchildren’.

They are her husband’s children. Of course they should have taken them full time when the ex wasn’t capable.

@Goatinthegarden how many children do you have?

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Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 16:26

Wow sorry went to cinema and didn’t see messages I never meant to offend or annoy any one I will respond to all comments after I’ve blow up 300 water baloons lol and am genuinely sorry if our situation offends people

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Foxglovesandlilacs86 · 09/08/2022 16:26

I have 8 children (all mine) and people are always flabbergasted when they find out. Tbh I’ve had that reaction since I had my 4th!

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crosstalk · 09/08/2022 16:27

Much admiration. But tell us more if you can. How are they all doing and what do the older ones want to do?

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Horoscopegubbins · 09/08/2022 16:27

Gobsmacked you can afford 9 children. We have one and are on quite good money but need to watch things. We couldn't afford 4 children never mind nine! Aren't you terrified of cost of living increases? I ask out of genuine interest - not trying to be provocative.

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InPraiseOfBacchus · 09/08/2022 16:30

"Lillith111 living up to your handle there I see! no surprise you were banished from the garden 😉

We’re going to need people to fix the planet, so having plenty of children is a good thing."

Ugh, whatever, "Eve". Speaking as someone with a degree in ecology... no. My potential inconveniences with finding care as I get older are nothing compared to the hell on earth that more disadvantaged people are going to suffer through a human-saturated planet and a barely-inhabitable ecosystem.

That said, there's no reason to be snippy at OP - her family isn't single-handedly (eighteen-handedly?) destroying the planet. Save your rage for our wider capitalist, pro-natalist culture. Blaming individuals is a distraction.

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Eyerollerhighroller · 09/08/2022 16:32

Do you not have a tv?!!

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MotherWol · 09/08/2022 16:33

Do you get any time for yourself? I've only got two and I feel pretty touched out and like it's hard for DH and I to get time to do things individually and as a couple, I can't imagine what it must be like with that many children at home!

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toomuchlaundry · 09/08/2022 16:33

All very well saying we need more children so we have more taxpayers in the future, many people are not net contributors ie they cost more than they pay in tax. If you have 9 children, the likelihood is you are costing society more than you are paying in

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Buythebag40 · 09/08/2022 16:35

bloodyunicorns · 09/08/2022 13:43

You really never thought of 9 kids as a big family?

Ookkaaaaay.

Did you think of the impact on the planet of having so many dc?

🙄yawn.

I don't have as many dc as you but I do have four OP.

And no, I've never sat around fretting about the "impact on the planet".

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Eyerollerhighroller · 09/08/2022 16:35

Devonmum2022 · 09/08/2022 16:26

Wow sorry went to cinema and didn’t see messages I never meant to offend or annoy any one I will respond to all comments after I’ve blow up 300 water baloons lol and am genuinely sorry if our situation offends people

Ignore them!

How do you manage time all together? I mean, do you get to sit down once a week to eat (we can struggle with four and both of us working)?

How much is your average weekly shop?

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toomuchlaundry · 09/08/2022 16:35

For those saying well done for taking in the stepchildren, you would have to be a pretty shit dad if you let your children go into care because their mum couldn't look after them. I am surprised it got to that point, where was the dad before it got to that point?

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