Page 18 | I've served a prison sentence

NCforAMA · 2022-08-01T16:51:30+00:00

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect. I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell. Ive name changed for obvious reasons. Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions; I'm female. I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012. I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home. I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price. I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners. Anyway, ask away.

Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:21

Mamanyt · 02/08/2022 01:10

No question, just a comment. This is something that a very wise professor of sociology once told me, and I wish everyone knew it. Committing a crime does not make one a criminal. Anyone, under the right circumstances, can commit a crime. A criminal has the mentality that they have the right to commit those crimes for their own gain at any time, anywhere. They are repeat offenders.

I wish you so very well. So many of us could, with a bit less luck, have been you.

Thank you! You put a little smile on my face x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:26

UniversalAunt · 02/08/2022 02:10

Just seen the comments about education.

s the‘They do have education but it's basic, it's level 1&2 maths and English. You sit a little exam when you get there and if you fail you have to do the maths and English rather than get a job.I think if you're there long enough you can do courses with the open university.’

Is there a good range of books available from the prison library, fiction & non-fiction? Is there an online library? Are there prison tablets/Kindles?

Can prisoners learn ICT/coding languages as an educational challenge & to ramp up their employability?

Are there practical skills courses e.g. upholstery. Any social enterprises/community businesses so that prisoners may engage with the surrounding communities?

Yes loads of good books! I think you can borrow up to ten at a time from the library, I used to read one a day. It was actually quite a big library and you could also borrow magazines. There were no kindles ect though.

I think you can do ICT but it's basic, nothing that would probably get you very far in a job interview.

Some jails offer really good courses; plastering, plumbing, a listeners course (they work with the Samaritans and work in pairs to go round and speak to anyone in need , 24/7), the jail I was in offered a course in recycling but that's it. The other jobs were just to keep the prison running (cleaning, laundry ect).

It would be beneficial if they offered courses that were actually worthwhile and could give you a chance of employment afterwards.

I haven't heard of the Freedom programme so I'm not sure if it was something that was offered.

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:28

twoandcooplease · 02/08/2022 02:53

but only ever left legs. Apparently the right ones go to hospitals!
This is bizarre! Hah I'm laughing in bed reading that

Re the mother and baby unit - did that only apply to mums who gave birth in prison who could then keep baby in for 18mo(?) or up to 20 women who had young babies were allowed to bring them in when they got sentenced?

I couldn't live without my ds. But if they said 'bring him along' I could stay as long as they'd keep us both!

You didn't have to give birth in prison to qualify. Most had babies already, we're sentenced and then after a couple of weeks their baby came to join them. A couple did 50/50 so they would have a visit say on a Monday, bring the baby in, then have a visit on a Thursday and give the baby to the dad and the baby would go home for the weekend.

I was amazed the first time I saw someone pushing a pram x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:31

Indigoo03 · 02/08/2022 03:15

Just to check if you said nothing as per the initial advice before your duty solicitor arrived then you were likely to have avoided all of this?

What's the advice if people do get in trouble? I would have to take the duty solicitor as I wouldn't know what to do or who to call? The only thing I could think of would be to call a friend of a friend who is a solicitor for advice..

It seems critical to have the right advice in this instance.

Your solicitor was optimistic that nothing serious would happen, was there any basis for that as they obv got it wrong?

If I had to advise someone I would say stay absolutely silent for the whole interview.

Then go find yourself a good solicitor, and take the advice from them. You could always go back and volunteer your answers at a later date. But you can't take back what you've said!

I told them everything. Gave them my phone passwords, my Instagram password, anything they asked for I gave them. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd of stayed silent but no point dwelling on what could have been x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:32

@Indigoo03 sorry I missed off a question. They just thought it was a bit ridiculous what I was been charged for and that nothing would come of it. Even my pre-sentence report which is completed by probation said the following;

'Based on the information I have received and after completing an interview with * there are concerns regarding to vulnerability if she was sentenced to a custodial sentence. There are concerns with her mental health at present and it is my assessment that the risk she poses to herself would be heightened if she was placed into custody.

It would be my suggestion that the court allowed * her liberty and allows her to work with the probation service on a community based order. I believe she would benefit from undertaking courses on consequential thinking, healthy relationships and problem solving. This can be completed in 20 days.

* poses no risk to the public. My assessment would be that she is sentenced to either a community based order, community service or an electronic tag.'

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:33

Twopandemicpregnancies · 02/08/2022 03:28

Do you get to watch TV? If so for how long each day and is it in a common area or in your room?

You can watch tv yeah! We had them in our rooms, and one in the common room. There was no limit on how long you could watch it for x

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gattocattivo · 02/08/2022 10:34

Big question here!

It seems that your prison experience was effective for you in that it helped give you the impetus to turn your life around and away from the negative influence you'd been under. I imagine for you, the loss of freedom was the punishment, but do you think the loss of freedom works for those who don't have the family support and prospect of a better life outside? When I read the description of prisoners sunbathing and the house being like an ordinary house on an estate, it made me wonder how effective it is as a deterrent for people who would probably have a crap life outside. I know it's not as simple as making prison life really harsh and grim btw! I just wonder whether the loss of freedom hits the same way if you know that life on the outside is going to be bleak.

This is a really interesting thread - thank you!

Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:38

Harrystylestutu · 02/08/2022 04:13

What an interesting thread @NCforAMA your mum must be so proud of you.
you seem lovely. I think you should write a book under a pseudonym about your experience. You've broken down a lot of stereotypes with this thread, thank you for being so brave and starting it

my questions are

how much did beauty treatments cost at the salon? That's really surprised me.
were you allowed to wear makeup and could you buy it on your canteen form?
what happened if you were poorly with the flu or something, were you allowed a few days off work?
Would a drug or alcohol addicts routine be changed for detoxification or extra meds?
How much was tobacco and could you smoke inside/ whenever you wanted?

Thank you!! I did consider writing a book, and I did start it, met with a publisher and then just never got round to finishing it.

I wrote 3 pages and thought what am
I going to write for another 200 pages. Maybe il start again!

my questions are

They were cheap! £3 for shellac nails, £3 for a wash and blow dry. But you only earn about £8-25 a week so they couldn't have charged much! I think the salon was more so that some girls could learn some skills.
Yeah - some people looked like they we're going on a night out, I didn't bother buying any, I didn't really have any reason to get dolled up haha.
You could but you would need a doctors note and it is impossible to get a doctors appointment. Otherwise you would get an 'IEP' for not attending and if you get 3 you get moved to basic regime, less money, no tv, no association and less visits.
Would a drug or alcohol addicts routine be changed for detoxification or extra meds?
How much was tobacco my questions are
how much did beauty treatments cost at the salon? That's really surprised me.
were you allowed to wear makeup and could you buy it on your canteen form?
what happened if you were poorly with the flu or something, were you allowed a few days off work?

4.Yeah they would get methadone.

It was the same price as outside. I don't smoke so I only ever bought tobacco so I could swap it for stolen fruit from the kitchens ect 🙈 you had to smoke in your rooms, but they all just smoked wherever they wanted!

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:40

@Harrystylestutu

Sorry I've somehow mixed up my post and yours, here's the correct version;

Thank you!! I did consider writing a book, and I did start it, met with a publisher and then just never got round to finishing it.

I wrote 3 pages and thought what am
I going to write for another 200 pages. Maybe il start again!

my questions are

They were cheap! £3 for shellac nails, £3 for a wash and blow dry. But you only earn about £8-25 a week so they couldn't have charged much! I think the salon was more so that some girls could learn some skills.
Yeah - some people looked like they we're going on a night out, I didn't bother buying any, I didn't really have any reason to get dolled up haha.
You could but you would need a doctors note and it is impossible to get a doctors appointment. Otherwise you would get an 'IEP' for not attending and if you get 3 you get moved to basic regime, less money, no tv, no association and less visits.

4.Yeah they would get methadone.

It was the same price as outside. I don't smoke so I only ever bought tobacco so I could swap it for stolen fruit from the kitchens ect 🙈 you had to smoke in your rooms, but they all just smoked wherever they wanted!

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:41

sashh · 02/08/2022 04:59

MNHQ

Can this go to classics? It's so interesting and I remember a thread a while ago where someone was preparing for prison.

OP

Well done for changing your life. And thank you for starting this.

@Harrystylestutu is right you should write a book. Koestlerarts help prisoners and ex prisoners with arts projects. (Sorry if you already know about them)

koestlerarts.org.uk

Thank you! Il have a look at that today :) x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:42

Claricethecat45 · 02/08/2022 05:12

No questions from me because, you have absolutely answered everyone who has already asked....

Your responses to the questions are great, and the time you have given to this and following through is greatly appreciated.

I wish you well and really appreciate your time and courage in posting; You sound a lovely person, and your humility is almost humbling. I could never have been so brave, and I very much wish you only good things for your future.

Thanks so much! Such a lovely comment.

I'm definitely not brave haha, if I could have ran away and hid I would have, but I didn't have much choice!

Thanks so much for been so kind x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:43

thefamilyupstairs · 02/08/2022 06:20

Can family bring you in any personal items? Would you have been allowed a coffee machine in your room?

You can receive a clothes parcel within the first 28 days of your sentence. You would be allowed a mug, dressing gown, home comforts like that but no toiletries or electrics or food, so you wouldn't be allowed a coffee machine!

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Hoolahulahoop · 02/08/2022 10:43

Thank you so much for this thread op.
It's very insightful and brave of you.
I live in the countyside now but I used to live in one of the roughest council estates and could have fallen in. With a bad crowd.

So it's given me lots of food for thought. There is a lot of people who make judgements without thinking in depth.

Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:45

oakleaffy · 02/08/2022 06:53

@NCforAMA
Another really good book is “ Criminal” by Caspar Walsh.
A child of a dealer, who grew up helping his dad- a charismatic but feckless father who used his son.

Walsh works in recovery now.

Thanks for the previous comment it was lovely, and I've ordered both books now!

Not sure if you've read 'young offender' by Michael Maisey but I read that in prison and it was brilliant. I bought it when I came home and read it again. Xx

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:47

GrilledWatermelon · 02/08/2022 06:53

I don't have any new questions for you OP, but would echo others and say its been a truly fascinating read! Even my DH listened to a few excerpts with interest and he usually rolls his eyes at anything to do with MN.

I'm glad that you have also got something positive out of it, e.g the vipers are mostly rooting for you. 😊

I did want to remark though, as a general comment on MN and not relevant to you OP, that this AMA has received a far more compassionate response than the "I had an affair" ones. I don't wish to derail, just making an observation - a woman in a bad place mentally who made some poor decisions and cheated on a partner multiple times in a short period before sorting herself out, absolutely had her arse handed to her on here about what a despicable, duplicitous liar she was, she didn't deserve forgiveness or a happy life or anything. I think it ended up being deleted, it got so nasty - maybe it was a goady troll.

But I still wonder why the hive mind is less forgiving of personal transgressions against others than criminal ones. I guess that's another thread...

Anyway, all the best OP and I look forward to reading more responses.

Thank you!!

I completely agree, some people get some stick on here when they ask for advice.

Especially if they post that their DP has spent too much money ect, everyone's quick to jump in saying 'leave him or you're an idiot' ect. I was expecting nasty comments on this thread but it's been the opposite! Which I'm glad about or I'd have probably spend all night crying haha x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:49

ChilliMum · 02/08/2022 08:58

Brilliant AMA OP, thank you,.

I don't have a question, I just wanted to say that I believe you. My parents worked within the criminal justice system and would tell us horror stories over dinner of people sent to prison for minor crimes like non payment of a fine or young people unwittingly caught up in a crime and given custodial sentences.

I believe it happens a lot more than some posters on this thread would believe and I think that as young people we don't always appreciate our responsibility in law; give a friend a lift in your car who is carrying stolen goods = transporting of stolen goods, unknowingly accept a lift off someone who has stolen a car = car theft. 'I didn't know is no defense' was a mantra my parents drilled into us as kids.

Wishing you all the best for the future.

Thank you! A lovely comment! It's crazy how many people were morally innocent but in the eyes of the law, guilty. And some got such harsh sentences! It makes me so nervous now, I'm so careful about who my friends are, I worry about everything far too much ect x

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ivfbabymomma1 · 02/08/2022 10:51

Your so brave OP! What was your release day like? Just being thrown back in the world and having to suddenly "live normally" again. What's the first thing you did after lunch with your family? Did you just like pop to tescos cos you could? 🤣

Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:53

BobDear · 01/08/2022 22:48

I just want to say that if I met you in real life, I'd want to be friends with you. You sound lovely, intelligent, thoughtful and funny. Please don't label yourself - you're just a person who made a mistake and got caught.

I broke many laws in my mis-spent late teens/early twenties, and ended up with a couple of boyfriends (both who ended up in prison) that could have easily been my undoing. Somehow I got back on the right path just in time, and am now in Yummy Mummy Leafy London Suburb and fitting in just fine. But it could have been such a different story for me and so nearly was. I think that's the thing some people don't understand: one dodgy boyfriend, one bad decision, one moment of weakness/rage/stupidity - life turns on a such small moments.

So glad you have turned things around. You are really inspiring to 'read'.

Thank you, that's so sweet!!! It's so nice to hear things like that because I beat myself up about it all the time and think everyone would look down on me.

Absolutely, it's so easy to end up with the wrong person / crowd. I had a great upbringing and should have known better. But I was young and stupid and besotted by a complete idiot xx

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:55

SweetestThing · 02/08/2022 09:09

I can only echo what so many others on this thread have said, OP. You made a mistake, took your punishment and have moved your life in a different direction. Hugely well done to you. I love your honesty and acceptance of what happened

I did some work with a charity that visited prisons/ YOI to work with selected prisoners based around song writing. The prisoners worked with disabled students who all had a talent for songwriting and performing, along with specialist music staff linked to the charity. It really made me realise how literally just a few seconds and the wrong decision can change someone's life. The fact that, for so many of the people we worked with, it was the first time they had received praise, applause ( they performed in a concert for fellow prisoners, family and prison staff at the end of the week) and felt good about themselves was something I found really sad.

You've done brilliantly, OP, and thank you so much for sharing. Have a great life.

Wow you sound like you do such a great job! You'll have made such a difference to those peoples lives and I guarantee they will still talk about it to this day! Xx

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:58

drinkingwineoutofamug · 02/08/2022 09:14

I'm so glad you've turned your life around OP.

My daughter did 2 stints in styal . I had a thread running on here at the time, what to take to prison. I knew she was going to be sent down and was in mum panic mode.

I got so much lovely support on here, even though my daughter was a violent idiot. I never condoned her actions but stood by to support.

I'm happy to stay that she's now in her own rented flat , lives with her partner and 2 cats.
It took time for her to adjust. I remember her first night on release and I had cooked her favourite meal. The family sat down to eat at the table, but she tools hers to her room to eat, that was what she was used to.
Many things she's told me mirror your experience, except healthcare which in prison is shocking. I had first hand experience myself (training) and was aghast at what went on. Reform is needed there.

Sorry I've wittered .

I'm sorry to hear what your daughter went through but I'm so so glad she's doing well now! Another living proof that people can change!

I hate what I put my mum through, I know that every single day she was worried sick thinking I'd have killed myself or have come to some harm. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't of stuck by me. And I'm sure your daughter feels the same. I wish I could take away the pain I caused her. She would always say she was fine but I know she wasn't xx

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 10:59

TheOrigRights · 02/08/2022 09:31

What were the noise levels like?
The thought of being unable to run away somewhere where I can be alone and quiet is the one that gives me the most fear when I think of what it would be like to be in prison.

On the wing they were awful! You had a few people who were a little crazy and would sleep all day and then be up all night kicking the metal door, singing, screaming, arguing with themselves ect.

It wasn't too bad on the house except when I shared a room with the worlds worst snorer. I wanted to throttle her haha.

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 11:02

NecklessMumster · 02/08/2022 10:12

Hi, thank you for the thread. Did you ever worry about being picked up by the police again or was your crime too specifically linked to your ex bf? I'm always a bit shocked on police programmes that when they're looking for suspects they seem to place great store on 'can't be them they've got no previous ' or 'ooh look, she's offended before let's pull her in' as if once offended you're bound to do it again

It was specifically linked to my ex boyfriend but when he was released I was worried they'd start knocking on my door to check he wasn't here ect. I think if he was ever wanted again they would pay a visit to check if he was here.

I do worry though, if there's a police car behind me I think oh my god they're going to pull me over ect. Even though I haven't done anything wrong! I'm not sure if my registration plate will flash up to say I've previously been arrested and to watch out for me or something haha x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 11:04

gattocattivo · 02/08/2022 10:34

Big question here!

It seems that your prison experience was effective for you in that it helped give you the impetus to turn your life around and away from the negative influence you'd been under. I imagine for you, the loss of freedom was the punishment, but do you think the loss of freedom works for those who don't have the family support and prospect of a better life outside? When I read the description of prisoners sunbathing and the house being like an ordinary house on an estate, it made me wonder how effective it is as a deterrent for people who would probably have a crap life outside. I know it's not as simple as making prison life really harsh and grim btw! I just wonder whether the loss of freedom hits the same way if you know that life on the outside is going to be bleak.

This is a really interesting thread - thank you!

No absolutely not! Some prisoners are eligible for tag so don't have to serve the full half of their sentence in prison, and people would decline their tag because they wanted to stay!

If I was homeless with no family I would much rather be in prison than be on the streets.

You get fed, clothes, company, the gym, healthcare, a job ect. Some peoples lives are genuinely better in jail than our which is absolutely heartbreaking and makes me so sad x

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Original poster

NCforAMA · 02/08/2022 11:07

ivfbabymomma1 · 02/08/2022 10:51

Your so brave OP! What was your release day like? Just being thrown back in the world and having to suddenly "live normally" again. What's the first thing you did after lunch with your family? Did you just like pop to tescos cos you could? 🤣

I had to wait in for my electronic tag fitting. And I had a horrendous headache.

The next day I went to see one of my friends and went for my hair doing. Nearly died of shame when my hairdresser said she'd read about me in the paper 😭 she's still my hairdresser now though haha. And I went shopping to buy my cell mate some fresh underwear, she'd had the same 5 pair of boxers (half wear boxers not knickers in jail) for about 3 years and I'd promised her some fresh boxers and socks haha x

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Kanaloa · 02/08/2022 11:12

thecatsthecats · 02/08/2022 07:51

With all due respect, I know all that from training and from witnessing the efforts people make. I wanted to hear the OP's account of how she personally feels, not a redo of page one of working trauma-informed.

Show quote history

And I was simply saying that it’s pretty obvious that the people you’re working with won’t be instantly open to services. It doesn’t matter what this one person thinks of ‘naice’ middle class people, it’s the overall attitude.