I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

Hey!

What a good question haha.

So when I was first arrested I told my closest friends and she told me she could no longer be friends with me as it would reflect badly on her (she's from a very well off area, her husbands in the police, she's very 'posh') I was devastated, but understood and respected her choice. About a year later whilst I was still on bail she contacted me to say sorry, that she'd been a terrible friend and that it didn't matter what I'd done ect. So we became friends again, I used to see her all the time, used to babysit her little boy. Then once I was sentenced she said the same thing, once again I respected her decision. Then she changed her mind, came to visit me, supported me. Then when I was released the same again, so after the third time I just thought fuck this.

So my spaghetti never got wet haha but it happens so so much. Literally like orange is the new black. Girls would come in and be like 'I'm 100% straight' and within days they'd be like 'I'm gay for the stay'. But there isn't much to do and it's boring and lonely so you can understand why haha. So many relationship dramas too!

Thank you!

There were a lot of women with children but most seemed to live with the prisoners family rather than in care. They would come to visit them so I believe that was the case.

There was a women who had her twins forcibly adopted whilst I was there, she was a heroin addict and had served multiple sentences. I don't doubt it was the best thing for the children but wow I have never seen anyone so heartbroken. I cried just watching her cry.

Babies up to 18 months could live in the prison with the mum if there was space on the mother and baby unit.

Yeah a lot of the girls had hard upbringings and came from care background but it would only ever be briefly mentioned, the girls rarely wanted to talk about difficult things x

The shock omg, I was in the dock and the judge said 'I'm sentencing you to 12 months in custody' and I was waiting for him to say it was suspended and he said 'to be served immediately' and I genuinely just wanted to die. All I could think was that I'd let my mum and dad down.

Then you get taken underneath the court and I was strip searched by this horrible women. They search all your property and then put you in a cell and you wait for the prison bus to take you to the prison.

Once I got to the prison you go into reception, and there's other girls there who have either came back from court, have just been sentenced or work in the reception as reception orderly's. The reception orderly (they're prisoners) was absolutely lovely, I was crying, she made me a cup of tea, explained what would happen ect.

The officers weren't quite as friendly but oh well. So then the reception officers search your stuff, bin what you can't have (deodorant ect), put your mobile phone ect into your stored property which they keep until your release and then give you the rest of your stuff back in a clear bin liner.

Then you go to the induction wing, which is a very small wing where people have just arrived. You get your tea, it was the worlds most dried up pork chop but I would have ate anything, you get a 2 minute phone call and they take you to your cell. They give you bedding, a towel and a toilet roll. I was on my period and I had to ask soooo many times for tampax.

Then I watched emmerdale, cried, wrote a letter to my mum and surprisingly managed to sleep for the night. Xx

Absolutely! The line between been a good member of society and a bad one is so thin sometimes and it's so easy to cross.

I would consider myself a good person, I've volunteered with homeless people, I donate to charity, I've had countless lunches with homeless people I've seen on the streets ect, but some would consider me the dregs of society because of one mistake.

It's been so nice to see that the majority of responses have been positive ones. I was expecting the opposite and preparing myself for a bit of a thrashing!

@Staffy1 sorry I've only just learnt how to tag someone 🙈

Yeah you had some fun days! You would literally be able to forget that you were in prison! I was there over the summer. The prison I was in is quite green, it looks like a holiday park. On sunny days girls would be sunbathing with music playing, dancing and laughing. I'd think to myself how is this jail sometimes.

One day the gym organised a game of rounders against all the officers, we had a great time. He used to organise 5 a side football too.

We used to play pranks on each other on the house. One girl was convinced there was a ghost, so we used to go in her room and tie string to objects, and then later on at night we'd pull the string so the objects flew off the shelf. We would be in hysterics laughing when she'd be stood on her bed screaming at us that there was a ghost xx

I can't believe you've read every comment!! I was slightly scared when someone said it to me haha, I told my friends when they came to visit and they were in hysterics laughing.

There were loads of strange crimes;

There were a few in for dangerous driving which surprised me.
Someone had kept their girlfriend hostage for months and starved her to death. Apparently she used to make her eat like a dog on the times she did get fed so people used to bark at her everytime she walked past.
Someone had drown their baby in the bath, and genuinely couldn't understand why she couldn't have custody of her other child.
There was a girl who had laid in the middle of the road for ages, on repeated occasions and was jailed. She should have been sent to a hospital though not a prison, she thought she was a child, used to walk round in a nightie and carrying her teddybear and would ask you to cuddle her. She hadn't had a single shower in her whole sentence though so there weren't any takers on the cuddles.
There were a few in for fraud type offences.

There was someone who was having an affair with a man, and she murdered his wife and kept a diary of her plans and what she did, what got me was that the man still came to visit her! I can't remember any names otherwise you'd be able to look them up, I read all the news stories online when I came home.

An 80 year old who had set their own flat on fire in an attempt to commit suicide, and then got 7 years for arson!! She was the cutest little old lady I've ever met x

Hey!

I think offenders always think that people are out to 'stitch them up', so they're scared to admit they need help / aren't doing very well ect because they think you'll tell the police and have them recalled to prison ect.

I used to get called posh in jail, I have a degree, a nice house, I used to get money sent in every week ect. But I think it's easier to be accepted as posh when you're in jail and not working with them. Some people will just always be hostile towards staff working with offenders, they'll think you don't understand what they've been through ect. You sound lovely though, I bet your jobs tough xx

Hi! Thank you!!

It wasn't too bad, the wing was like a traditional prison wing and it was absolutely freezing. There's a pipe that runs a cross the bottom of your cell that would heat up but it doesn't really have much effect when your windows got a big hole in!

I used to sleep in my clothes, with a dressing gown and the duvet and still be cold. And I was sentenced in Spring. I can't imagine what it's like in winter.

Then I moved onto the houses which was far better, genuinely just a big house. I don't think there was even bars on the windows (but I could be mistaken). If you didn't know it was a prison you would think it was a very nice housing estate with lots of massive detached houses. The houses were much warmer too, and we had a shared kitchen, washing machine, tumble dryer, bath and living room. Far better than I imagine Brixton and Wandsworth to be.

They do get methadone, I'm not sure if they can attend NA tbh, from what I've seen they literally just get their methadone and are left to suffer in their cells. There doesn't look to be much support. They always have to fight for their methadone too, it's always either not been prescribed, not enough staff to open the hatch ect. It causes a lot of upset.

I've seen her! US jails look brutal!!

Brilliant AMA OP, thank you,.

I don't have a question, I just wanted to say that I believe you. My parents worked within the criminal justice system and would tell us horror stories over dinner of people sent to prison for minor crimes like non payment of a fine or young people unwittingly caught up in a crime and given custodial sentences.

I believe it happens a lot more than some posters on this thread would believe and I think that as young people we don't always appreciate our responsibility in law; give a friend a lift in your car who is carrying stolen goods = transporting of stolen goods, unknowingly accept a lift off someone who has stolen a car = car theft. 'I didn't know is no defense' was a mantra my parents drilled into us as kids.

Wishing you all the best for the future.

I can only echo what so many others on this thread have said, OP. You made a mistake, took your punishment and have moved your life in a different direction. Hugely well done to you. I love your honesty and acceptance of what happened

I did some work with a charity that visited prisons/ YOI to work with selected prisoners based around song writing. The prisoners worked with disabled students who all had a talent for songwriting and performing, along with specialist music staff linked to the charity. It really made me realise how literally just a few seconds and the wrong decision can change someone's life. The fact that, for so many of the people we worked with, it was the first time they had received praise, applause ( they performed in a concert for fellow prisoners, family and prison staff at the end of the week) and felt good about themselves was something I found really sad.

You've done brilliantly, OP, and thank you so much for sharing. Have a great life.

Hi,

Yes I had a PSR. I've just found it and this is what the summary says;

'Based on the information I have received and after completing an interview with * there are concerns regarding to vulnerability if she was sentenced to a custodial sentence. There are concerns with her mental health at present and it is my assessment that the risk she poses to herself would be heightened if she was placed into custody.

It would be my suggestion that the court allowed * her liberty and allows her to work with the probation service on a community based order. I believe she would benefit from undertaking courses on consequential thinking, healthy relationships and problem solving. This can be completed in 20 days.

* poses no risk to the public. My assessment would be that she is sentenced to either a community based order, community service or an electronic tag.'

Yes I took a bag thankfully. And then my mum brought the rest of my stuff in on the first visit.

Thanks for your kind comment! Xx

I'm so glad you've turned your life around OP.

My daughter did 2 stints in styal . I had a thread running on here at the time, what to take to prison. I knew she was going to be sent down and was in mum panic mode.

I got so much lovely support on here, even though my daughter was a violent idiot. I never condoned her actions but stood by to support.

I'm happy to stay that she's now in her own rented flat , lives with her partner and 2 cats.
It took time for her to adjust. I remember her first night on release and I had cooked her favourite meal. The family sat down to eat at the table, but she tools hers to her room to eat, that was what she was used to.
Many things she's told me mirror your experience, except healthcare which in prison is shocking. I had first hand experience myself (training) and was aghast at what went on. Reform is needed there.

Sorry I've wittered .

I've always had a good relationship with my parents! Other than the standard teenage disagreements we've always got on well, and still do.

My dads great I think I just have a habit of saying 'my mum' rather than 'my mum and dad' (sorry dad) but he's amazing. He used to send me moonpig cards weekly with a message from my cat haha. He drove miles to the newsagents that the prison would accept deliveries from so that he could buy me magazines to be delivered weekly.

They have never ever argued with me about my ex bf, but tbh they didn't really know too much about him before I was arrested. I didn't live with them prior to arrest so kept it pretty quiet. And after arrest they never lectured me or told me I should have known better ect, they just supported me as much as they could.

No it was more than one text, I think the police report said something like 87 texts incriminated me. I can't remember the exact amount.

I never thought I could get into trouble for just knowing. But he's a pretty bad person, has spent more than half his adult life in jail and drags everyone down with him. He's had his cousin, brother, sister and his other ex girlfriend all arrested because of him at different times.

The solicitor for my interview that told me to tell the truth said they would go easy on me for been honest! So I did! I had no idea what to do, I'd never been in that situation before so I just trusted her! Xx

Far more than I ever expected! I didn't even realise female peadophiles were a thing! And they would all share rooms and live on the same 'landing' as the wing. I guess they would befriend each other so that they were safer together x

@WildIris there were a lot in for child neglect too, but these were labelled the same as child abusers.

What were the noise levels like?
The thought of being unable to run away somewhere where I can be alone and quiet is the one that gives me the most fear when I think of what it would be like to be in prison.

Thankyou. You sound just lovely. I am so glad you have done well.

@NCforAMA o m g . Thank you for the reply that was a good read! .. I’m sooooo glad I read it this morning and not last night as I would have had nightmares of the woman child with the teddy 😩. Poor little old lady, not what she needed! Crazy stuff! X

Hey!

Womens prisons aren't categorised. So they have all categories in one prison. They're aren't enough female prisoners to warrant individual category jails, people would end up miles and miles away from home x

@biscuiteer sorry I missed the second question.

There were 2 suicides in the 3 months I was there. And lots and lots of self harming. There's hardly any support for mental health x

Hi! Yes of course you can.

I had a lovely upbringing, one sibling, an amazing mum and dad who are still together, very close to my grandparents. I lived in the country.

School was fine, I wasn't the most popular kid but had friends, I got 13 GCSE's, 3 A-Levels and a First class degree at university. I then got myself a half decent job and bought myself a house. I had a pet, went travelling and lived a lovely life.

Then I ruined it all 🤣

I was probably slightly sheltered and I think far too trusting. I would have done anything that he said, I used to beg him for his forgiveness because he'd be mad id seen my friends / had my hair cut / received a message whilst I was on the phone to him.

I had a long term relationship through college and uni with an abusive guy, and then when I left him I met my ex bf. We were together a year before I ended up in trouble, from the age of 20. And for about 3 years in total. He was 6 years older.

I didn't have any children when I went to prison x

Hi, thank you for the thread. Did you ever worry about being picked up by the police again or was your crime too specifically linked to your ex bf? I'm always a bit shocked on police programmes that when they're looking for suspects they seem to place great store on 'can't be them they've got no previous ' or 'ooh look, she's offended before let's pull her in' as if once offended you're bound to do it again

I'm going to listen to that later whilst I'm in the bath. Thank you! And thank you for your kindness x

Hi!

Association is basically free time, so you can walk round / play ping pong / attend the gym if there's a session on / go to the library ect.

Yeah they have to swallow it in front of the nurse, they have morning meds, lunchtime meds and tea time meds, where you go to the hatch. And then if you have bedtime meds the nurse comes round with an officer and distributes it. I think after a while you can get it in your possession, but not certain meds such as pre-Gablins (might have got that slightly wrong) as people sell them.

I took tweezers! And they let them in!

Yeah loads got spray tans! And they were terrible, like bright orange ones.

I haven't heard of anyone getting raped so I'm not sure.

Yeah you can be weighed in prison, the gym has scales and they also held a weight watchers meeting every Saturday morning.

Yeah if you don't like the food it's tough shit basically. I honestly don't think they would even notice if someone had an eating disorder. There were a lot of very slim women. They do prescribe those nutrition drinks though to the girls that are underweight, but they just give them to them and let them take them to their cell, so they don't make sure they drink them.

Yeah you're only meant to smoke in your rooms, not in any communal areas. But no one ever followed that rule.

The phones they get are tiny! Il link them below! So they're easy to hide in certain holes in your body. They usually get them out on an evening after the officers have done their last checks and you can charge them by basically taking a wire out of your tv and using that.

www.kickstarter.com/projects/1500916193/the-worlds-smallest-phone-introducing-the-zanco-ti