I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

OP what a brilliant AMA. Wishing you all the best for your future x

Years ago I worked in a female prison and my office looked out onto the gardens; I think you might have had one of the best jobs, especially in the summer. There was always much excitement around the pond area with the fish and visiting birds if I remember rightly!

Hi OP.

When you describe your day you say 'association'? What is this? Is it free time to mingle with prisoner friends or is it doing an activity like chess/boardgames?

When people go for their medication in the morning, do they have to swallow it in front of the prison officers? What happens if its meds that need to be taken before bed?

Are you allowed to take a tweezers with you? Or if you have a chin hair do you have to make an appt at the salon and have it plucked out there?

Do many people get a fake tan spray? Why? Is it for those with 'girlfriends'? What happens if you don't want to be a girlfriend? Can they make you? Do women get raped in prison?

Do they allow you to be weighed in prison? If you hate the meals do they say well you'll eat when you're hungry? What happens if someone has an eating disorder? Are they force fed? What happens if they eat and throw up every night?

Are people allowed smoke in their rooms? How do people use their mobile phones - are they for texting? How do they charge them without the officers seeing them?

Op did you have a PSR that indicated a custodial sentence.
Did you take a bag of clothes to court
So pleased for you that you have turned your life around.
Get on with your life with a positive attitude that you have done on this thread. Good luck in the future xx

No question, just a comment. This is something that a very wise professor of sociology once told me, and I wish everyone knew it. Committing a crime does not make one a criminal. Anyone, under the right circumstances, can commit a crime. A criminal has the mentality that they have the right to commit those crimes for their own gain at any time, anywhere. They are repeat offenders.

I wish you so very well. So many of us could, with a bit less luck, have been you.

‘Thankfully it was on his license conditions that he's not allowed to contact me until 2027, or he'd get a full license recall so I could use this as a way out. The police said they'd put the license conditions on there for my safety.’

This is worth knowing. Something practical to help you & reinforce your realisation that you had to turn the corner for yourself, i.e. ditch the toxic relationship.

From what you have said about the meshing of inside/outside social networks & your experience of prison, what do think can help prisoners make or prepare themselves for lasting changes when released? Is the Freedom programme & such like readily available? Educational programmes? Upskilling for employment?

@NCforAMA Thank you doing this post, your insight is sound & enlightening.
Well done for making changes in your life.

Just seen the comments about education.

s the‘They do have education but it's basic, it's level 1&2 maths and English. You sit a little exam when you get there and if you fail you have to do the maths and English rather than get a job.I think if you're there long enough you can do courses with the open university.’

Is there a good range of books available from the prison library, fiction & non-fiction? Is there an online library? Are there prison tablets/Kindles?

Can prisoners learn ICT/coding languages as an educational challenge & to ramp up their employability?

Are there practical skills courses e.g. upholstery. Any social enterprises/community businesses so that prisoners may engage with the surrounding communities?

but only ever left legs. Apparently the right ones go to hospitals!
This is bizarre! Hah I'm laughing in bed reading that

Re the mother and baby unit - did that only apply to mums who gave birth in prison who could then keep baby in for 18mo(?) or up to 20 women who had young babies were allowed to bring them in when they got sentenced?

I couldn't live without my ds. But if they said 'bring him along' I could stay as long as they'd keep us both!

Just to check if you said nothing as per the initial advice before your duty solicitor arrived then you were likely to have avoided all of this?

What's the advice if people do get in trouble? I would have to take the duty solicitor as I wouldn't know what to do or who to call? The only thing I could think of would be to call a friend of a friend who is a solicitor for advice..

It seems critical to have the right advice in this instance.

Your solicitor was optimistic that nothing serious would happen, was there any basis for that as they obv got it wrong?

Do you get to watch TV? If so for how long each day and is it in a common area or in your room?

What an interesting thread @NCforAMA your mum must be so proud of you.
you seem lovely. I think you should write a book under a pseudonym about your experience. You've broken down a lot of stereotypes with this thread, thank you for being so brave and starting it

my questions are

1. how much did beauty treatments cost at the salon? That's really surprised me.
2. were you allowed to wear makeup and could you buy it on your canteen form?
3. what happened if you were poorly with the flu or something, were you allowed a few days off work?
4. Would a drug or alcohol addicts routine be changed for detoxification or extra meds?
5. How much was tobacco and could you smoke inside/ whenever you wanted?

MNHQ

Can this go to classics? It's so interesting and I remember a thread a while ago where someone was preparing for prison.

OP

Well done for changing your life. And thank you for starting this.

@Harrystylestutu is right you should write a book. Koestlerarts help prisoners and ex prisoners with arts projects. (Sorry if you already know about them)

koestlerarts.org.uk

No questions from me because, you have absolutely answered everyone who has already asked....

Your responses to the questions are great, and the time you have given to this and following through is greatly appreciated.

I wish you well and really appreciate your time and courage in posting; You sound a lovely person, and your humility is almost humbling. I could never have been so brave, and I very much wish you only good things for your future.

Can family bring you in any personal items? Would you have been allowed a coffee machine in your room?

Thanks@NCforAMA
It probably DID teach me a lesson, a “ Short, sharp shock”, but as you say Holloway back then was meant to be notoriously grim.
Rosie Johnston is the author , circa 1986 when it happened.
It was a huge news story at the time, a complete tragedy when the Politician’s daughter died, ( Her best mate at the time)

No one really knew back then that a snort of heroin with alcohol was so lethal in someone with no tolerance.

Reading all the answers your answers to questions, it seems that nothing has changed for women inside.

It probably is possible for you to get training to do some sort of Social work in this field-

After all, someone who knows what it’s like will have greater insights than someone with purely theoretical knowledge.

Best Wishes for your journey. :)

No problem!

The 5 things I'd change;

The amount of time it takes for them to add phone credit to your account, you get 1 two minute phone call when you arrive and then can't communicate with anyone for up to two weeks. Such a simple thing that would make all the difference.

Prisons should be no smoking. It causes debt. People literally get beaten up because they've borrowed a cigarette and can't pay it back.

There should be more support for mental health problems. There's literally zero and people self harm so much in prisons.

The food is grim. I know everyone's there as a punishment but the foods horrendous!

More education - they teach level 1&2 English but they should do more 'life lessons'.

@NCforAMA
Another really good book is “ Criminal” by Caspar Walsh.
A child of a dealer, who grew up helping his dad- a charismatic but feckless father who used his son.

Walsh works in recovery now.

I don't have any new questions for you OP, but would echo others and say its been a truly fascinating read! Even my DH listened to a few excerpts with interest and he usually rolls his eyes at anything to do with MN.

I'm glad that you have also got something positive out of it, e.g the vipers are mostly rooting for you. 😊

I did want to remark though, as a general comment on MN and not relevant to you OP, that this AMA has received a far more compassionate response than the "I had an affair" ones. I don't wish to derail, just making an observation - a woman in a bad place mentally who made some poor decisions and cheated on a partner multiple times in a short period before sorting herself out, absolutely had her arse handed to her on here about what a despicable, duplicitous liar she was, she didn't deserve forgiveness or a happy life or anything. I think it ended up being deleted, it got so nasty - maybe it was a goady troll.

But I still wonder why the hive mind is less forgiving of personal transgressions against others than criminal ones. I guess that's another thread...

Anyway, all the best OP and I look forward to reading more responses.

@NCforAMA What a good idea re . Tobacco.
and phone credits.
A screw I knew at a male jail said ( years ago now!) that if they smelled weed on the wing they’d let it be, as it meant a quiet night for the staff.

But the debt part would be serious, of course.

With all due respect, I know all that from training and from witnessing the efforts people make. I wanted to hear the OP's account of how she personally feels, not a redo of page one of working trauma-informed.

Thank you!

I've spoken to a charity called 'unlocked' a couple of times to ask advice on declaring your conviction ect. They've always been really helpful.

The Samaritans help prisoners a lot though, you can ring Samaritans any time from inside jail free of charge. So if it's 3am and someone needs someone to talk to, the prison staff have to facilitate a call to the Samaritans xx

Thank you!

I'm sorry about the situation you ended up in, but I'm glad you escaped!

He's contacted me a couple of times when he was released despite it been on his conditions not to. I worry often that he'll find out where I live ect but I'm hoping enough times gone on that he wouldn't care about me anymore. I always worry il bump into him and about how he would react. I put my hood up when I come out of my house to get into my car every single time because I fear either him or someone he knows will drive past and notice me. I worry less as time goes on and hopefully one day will stop worrying at all! Xx

Thanks so much for your kind comments. You sound lovely. And what you do is amazing! You will literally save some peoples lives. It's horrible to see people heartbroken inside with no one to talk to. I remember a women who lost her twins to forced adoption and she came back to the wing absolutely traumatised and the staff just locked her back up in her single cell. Someone asked if they could sleep in her cell for the night to make sure she didn't kill herself and the officers just said no. It's a shame they don't care like you do! X

Thank you! Well done for having the courage to tell DC! And of course they'll be proud of you!

I worry mine would be disappointed in me, but it was a long time ago and I hope they'd feel the same as yours do. Well done for turning your life around xx

Well done to both your friends for turning their lives around!

Yeah they all visited, I was allowed 3 visits a month and they'd all be arguing over who could come haha. You can only have 3 adults on each visit. My mum used to come with some of my family for one visit, then my friends would come together for two other visits. They were 2 hours long and they can bring money into the visit so that they can buy drinks and snacks ect. They used to buy me loads and then force me to eat it because they all said I looked very skinny.

I didn't really ring them very much as it costs a fortune and you only get a limited amount to spend each week, I used to ring my mum every other day to let her know I was ok, and I'd just write to my friends each week and they'd let my mum know what dates they'd booked a visit for so she could pass the message on.

I genuinely have the best family and friends, it's so sad to see people who don't even get a single letter, never mind a visit x

No I didn't haha! Tbh you could never find an officer if you needed something, they were always sat in the office! So I don't know how anyone would have managed to start up a relationship with one, but it does happen!