I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

Staffy1;

Others have been convicted of the same crime yes, and received anything between 40 hours community service and a jail sentence but I don't really want to out myself when I've talked about how drugs get into jails / how my ex bf made death threats ect x

PlanetNormal;

Other than a speeding ticket I've never ever done anything before that's broken the law.

And I'm not minimising it, but you unless you know someone you probably wouldn't know anyone who has been convicted of something because of their boyfriend. There were quite a few in jail who were.

Thank you for your well wishes x

On a positive note it was a life lesson for you and your a much better a person for it. You learnt from that mistake, moved, on and made a better life for yourself. That alone is highly admirable.

While also not judging others who have been to prison. Unlike some of the ignoranuses on here.

Hi OP. Thank you for this thread, it’s fascinating! And bloody well done on getting yourself sorted out. That’s no small achievement. And well done to your friends and family for being awesome supportive people!

my questions- I’ve been in Wandsworth and Brixton prisons with work and they’re horrible- cold, draughty and not fit for purpose any more as they’re largely unchanged from Victorian times. Was yours more modern/comfortable?

I know you never took drugs, but are addicts generally well supported to recover while in prison? I know they get methadone and such for the physical symptoms, but do they get to do NA or similar?

Have you seen the YouTuber Jessica Kent? She’s a former prisoner in the US and now campaigns for prison reform. The US system sounds absolutely horrendous for the inmates, and nothing like you’ve described.

Hello, thank you for your kind words.

Oh prisoners always think so highly of the prison chaplains! They always go above and beyond to help. They go out of their way to check up on people, they'll contact prisoners families to let them know they're ok ect.

Honestly, they're so highly thought of and they make such a difference. Xx

Absolutely fascinating! Thank you for sharing your story!
I can't think of anything that hasn't already been asked but well done for how you've dealt with it all xx

Thank you, lovely words and it means a lot. I have considered therapy, I feel like I just need to let go and bury the past. It's helped that so many of you have been so kind, I wasn't sure weather I was letting myself in for an evening of abuse but it seems to have been the opposite!

Thank you xx

I had a couple of relatives who went to prison.
One of my mum's brothers and one of my dad's brothers were there at the same time!

Thank you!!

She was sentenced to life but I can't remember what the minimum was given to her, it would have been a minimum of at least 12 because that's what murder carries.

Her little girl went to live with her parents and they used to come visit once a month as they didn't live very close. She was primary school age but I can't remember her exact age.

The women was so so lovely, she was really softly spoken and used to carry around her bag with her photos in because she was scared someone would steal them. She worked on the gardens with me and used to go to the gym. I felt so so sorry for her. I gave her my clothes when I was leaving. I can't remember her name otherwise I would have looked her up to see if I could find out when she's due for release xx

This!!

There were so many girls with sentences like this!

I just want to thank you for your honesty and openness. Life is complicated and rarely fair. It sounds as though you have used some unfortunate events to turn yourself around. That is SO hard to do!
I think it’s all too easy to demonise and judge people as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ when, in reality we’re all a mixture of the two. You have clearly demonstrated that life may not have gone to plan but you have made the most of it. Inspirational.

Yeah they'll turn a blind eye where they can!

Others get bullied too but not much, some people get themselves in debt and then end up beaten up / picked one because of that x

He has a couple of times already when he was first released so I'm not sure the conditions really bother him. I'm hoping by then he won't be bothered about me and he'll have moved on and won't want to contact me!

Thanks for starting this thread , I have a male friend who served time similar to yours. I won’t say what he was in for but he had mental health problems at the time . He said serving time actually helped him get the help he needed . He’s on the right medication etc . Unfortunately he’s struggled getting a job even though he’s declared his conviction the job offer has been withdrawn twice.

He is honestly the last person you’d expect to serve time but he was ill and doesn’t deserve to be punished forever for a mistake .
I think the courts are too harsh on first time offenders. Like you op his solicitor also said it will be a suspended sentence .
imo prison should be about reform not punish unless a murderer / rapist etc .
really good luck with everything.

I'm going to bed so I will pick up where o left off in the morning! I wasn't expecting quite so many questions haha! Thank you for all the lovely messages I've received. Goodnight x

I cannot read all of this as I have been through the day from crap but I just wanted to say I am sorry that people judge you. The system is wrong and a lot of the people in there need help not punishment that does utterly nothing to solve the problem or prevent future reoffending. I sincerely hope you have people around you who don't judge you and I commend you for writing this thread x

@NCforAMA

please don't answer if it's too personal, but how was your relationship with your parents before you got with your ex bf?

you don't mention your Dad much, was he not very understanding/supportive?

had you had arguments with your parents about your ex bf?

I know you don't want to say what happened exactly, but there were texts involved. Are you saying you had nothing to do with the crime, but you you just knew about it because if the texts? Was it a one of thing or several things over a period of time? Did you have any idea you could get in trouble for doing/knowing what you did?

it seems some of the women in with you got long sentences for f'all.

what made you ignore the advice from the duty Solucitors co worker to 'say nothing' and tell the duty solicitor everything?

the CPS are useless! Utterly fuckung useless. I'm sorry they decided you had a case to answer & more so, that it took them two bloody years to make a decision.

I'd love to take you out to lunch & just 'chat'.

And lots of people break the law and get away with it. Or behave monstrously within the law.
Life is rarely as black and white as you appear to want it to be.

I was wondering this, as around a decade ago I was banged up in a high-security (shockingly abusive) inpatient psychiatric unit where, among much worse things, they sometimes forced vegetarians to eat meat.

Thank you for the thread OP, it's really interesting - my absolute worst fear is being incarcerated again. I'm really glad that you have a good life now and that your conviction is spent. You sound fab.

OP, you’ve mentioned paedophiles a few times: lots of paedophiles / gangs of paedophiles.

Just how many female paedophiles were there in the prison?!?!

I worked in make cat A prisons and was horrified by the conditions for prisoners and staff in old, dirty and overcrowded buildings.
Did you have any/ a high number of suicides? The welfare of women prisoners worries me. What category prison was it?
Very glad to hear you have moved forward and going well x

Can you take a vibrator into prison with you?

Thank you for your AMA. You sound like a genuinely nice person. I wish you the best.

Can I ask about your background/early life?

You mention your supportive Mum? What was your childhood like? Had you a stable home life, parents together? siblings? were you brought up in a city or country? Happy family? Did you have any children yourself before you went to prison?

Youre obviously welll enough educated? Your replies are great. What was school like for tryouts? Did you do ok? To what level are you educated? GCSE, A level , third level?

Also how long were you with your ex?what age did you get together at?

It’s been very interesting to
read about your experience. Thank you

I’ve been listening/watching lots of documentaries/podcasts on the prison system recently.. mainly in the US.

But found this one on the Uk system. Criminal justice on trial.

It’s very informative. Interviews with a prison guard, prisoners etc.

this episode with a female ex prisoner is very interesting and very sad:

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/criminal-justice-on-trial/id1505577002?i=1000473233830

MN are obsessed with them even though they are rarer than hens' teeth. Just ignore goady questions like this.