I've served a prison sentence

[NCforAMA]

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

Thanks for your lovely comment!

I hope your friend is doing well too!

I've said that before about the school trips, if someone had have took me there when I was 15 I would have been terrified. And maybe made better choices! I remember when my friends came to visit and they were like wow it's terrifying in here how are you even coping. Prisons one of them things you don't really think about unless you have to. It's a shame people don't get to see it!

Thank you! I was half expecting lots of horrible comments when I first posted but it's been the opposite and it's made me feel somewhat more forgiving of myself.

Yeah I agree, I was only there 3 months but even in that short space of time I saw people coming back after been released. I remember one girl who had been so excited to see her kids and had so many plans for the future, but then she went back to her awful ex bf who used to encourage her heroin use and ended up on another sentence. It's heartbreaking that some peoples lives are better in jail than outside of jail.

Do you still work there now or have you left?

Don't be scared! I think the chance of going to prison is very very slim.

Thank you, I'm not sure I'm brave though, I had no choice but to deal with it! I'm just lucky I have a supportive family and some amazing friends. If they had of turned their back on me then who knows where I would have ended up.

Xx

Do they do anything in prison at Christmas, Easter, special events etc? I dont mean like a religious service but different food, a day off, "fun"?

Thank you!!

So you get a menu each week and you pick your meals, for lunch you can have a piece of fruit or a muffin (alongside your wrap / sandwich) and then for tea you could choose a piece of fruit instead of dessert and they have mixed vegetables so yeah you can get your 5 a day. You can buy fruit on the canteen too but it nearly always doesn't arrive. I used to buy tobacco and then swap it for fruit that the kitchen workers had stole from the kitchens x

This is amazing to hear. Do you still declare your conviction now even though so long has passed? And if you don't mind me asking, do you have any children and if so have you told them about it? Xx

Thank you for your lovely comment! Some of you have been so so kind.

We played rounders one day against the prison staff, it was such a hot day and the prison staffed were dressed in their gym stuff not their uniform and I just felt 'normal'. Like I was just at a school sports day, not in a prison. That was probably the best day.

And just been able to live with a group of people from all different walks of life. We were all so different, yet we all looked out for each other and stuck up for each other x

Great thread, OP.

I am in awe of your determination, drive and focus.

If you have the energy to answer mine after answering so many questions so far. Were you aware of the types of upbringing a lot of the women had? Was there a marked amount of those from abuse/back and forth foster care/absent parents or was it never brought up in conversation? Did many of the mothers already have several children back at home or in care?

As you can tell, I worry about children.

Hi! Sounds like you do a brilliant job!!

I went straight to my probation appointment after release. Then I went home and my mum made everyone lunch, I'd missed lurpack so she made a massive full English and I had so many slices of toast. Then I had to wait in for the person to come and fit my tag.

I was lucky, I hadn't been away long and my family was supportive so I didn't have a difficult transition.

My cell mate was out a few months after me and she had a terrible time, she was begging them to help her find somewhere to live and it wasn't till the day before they said they'd found her a hostel. I don't think the uncertainty helped her but I appreciate it's difficult to help every prisoner organise their release.

This is such an interesting thread OP thanks for posting.

whats the process like when you first arrive? How long did i take you to get over the shock?

Im glad you got a not guilty!! No I didn't have one. I think most people do it for the companionship and I can see why. Some are there for years. You start to fancy women either though you've never fancied one before haha. There was one girl who was dead attractive and I probably would have got involved with if I wasn't so shy haha x

One of the hardest things I have to reconcile is Joanna Dennehy, who received a whole life sentence. I understand the legal reasons why she got it. What I cannot reconcile is the seven year old in her blue school uniform, who came from a stable functioning home, who in her late 20's turned into one of the only three women to have a whole life tariff in the UK. Something physiological must have turned her that way. We should not throw away the key. We do not routinely in other cases, for example the sad case of Sarah Cobley.

I am not suggesting you are in that arena OP. Far from it and your thread has been insightful. What I am suggesting is that for some people the wrong side of the law, like homelessness, is paper thin. Society demands baddies and ducking stools and that is what is unhealthy.

Thank you!

I wouldn't say anyones forced but there was a moment I thought I was about to be forced to do stuff.. I was on my top bunk and this girl came in and she was saying 'just close your eyes you can pretend I'm a lad' and she was climbing up the ladder and I was like omg go away and she was sat on my top bunk trying to stroke my leg, I jumped off!

There's so much relationship drama because obviously everyone has to then live with their ex and their ex's new partner!

Thank you!

No I didn't say anything. I would have just caused trouble for myself.

Did you have any fun of any sort in prison? Any good days that are memorable or anything that brought genuine joy?

Thanks so much!

Yeah he got a pretty hefty sentence. But he's served half and he's out now. He isn't allowed any contact with me, it's on his license conditions. Once his license ends he'd be allowed to contact me without any repercussions. He did contact me a couple of times a few years ago saying he was sorry ect but I ignored it.

I don't know if he's a danger, he's made death threats ect in the past but I'm not sure if it's just a threat or if it's something he would ever actually carry out. I'd like to think it's the first and I'd like to think that so long has passed since I last spoke to him that if I were to bump into him ect he wouldn't be bothered about me anymore and wouldn't cause me any harm xx

First thread that I’ve actually read every comment on! Thanks OP! glad you came out well 💗 pissed myself at the wet spaghetti comment.. I’m having that one!

What were some of the crimes committed by others ? Any unusual or interesting ones that you heard about ? Im a nosey bitch x

I work with ex offenders, and I don't have an offending history myself. I often get pegged as "posh" by other people working in the sector.

What do you feel about people, for want of a better word, from "naice" middle class backgrounds?

(I feel like I have to work doubly hard to make a positive impression and to relate - which is in some ways correct, but other times, I admit I feel like - for God's sake, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to help!)

at Christmas everyone is locked up earlier and there is no work much like weekends and bank holidays. Special Christmas dinner. There are special meals for Ramadan and other religious festivals too. Easter usually get an Easter egg bumf from a local church. There are religious services throughout the year and bible studies etc.

Op you sound really nice and level headed and really nice. Really glad things have worked out for you. X

It's also a really good thread. I've always wondered about women in prison how they cope etc.

Thank you for sharing.

Good luck for your future x

I just want to say that if I met you in real life, I'd want to be friends with you. You sound lovely, intelligent, thoughtful and funny. Please don't label yourself - you're just a person who made a mistake and got caught.

I broke many laws in my mis-spent late teens/early twenties, and ended up with a couple of boyfriends (both who ended up in prison) that could have easily been my undoing. Somehow I got back on the right path just in time, and am now in Yummy Mummy Leafy London Suburb and fitting in just fine. But it could have been such a different story for me and so nearly was. I think that's the thing some people don't understand: one dodgy boyfriend, one bad decision, one moment of weakness/rage/stupidity - life turns on a such small moments.

So glad you have turned things around. You are really inspiring to 'read'.

To be fair many many people working with you will have been failed by services time and time again. They have no reason to believe you really genuinely want to help and will help them.

I mean even look at the common language used - for ‘want of a better word’ the one you’ve chosen is ‘naice.’ So what are they? Not nice? That’s the problem. There’s a class divide and even if you personally want to help many will look down and sneer at these people. All you need to do is look at any thread on mumsnet bashing xyz (usually something as banal as fake nails) as ‘chavvy/tacky’ to see how people treat those they see as ‘less than.’ Then imagine being one of those ‘less than’ people. It might be frustrating for you that they don’t want to believe you’re there to help, but it’s heartbreaking to be on the other side of it, desperate to reach out and accept help but also aware that (like every other time) it will probably be a false offer/withdrawn/abandoned. Or that the person is looking down on you because you have the ‘wrong’ eyebrows, or a ‘common’ name.

So if you have to work ‘doubly hard’ to make a good impression then they’re working quadrupley hard to be accepted in society. That’s more the attitude I’d try to take.

Thank you! So the first couple of weeks when I were on the wing were like this;

8am - opened for a shower
9am - locked in your cell
12 - lunch delivered to your door
5pm- opened for tea and association
7pm - locked back up for the night

Once I'd been there a couple of weeks, had my inductions, got a job and moved onto the houses it was like this;

7am - houses unlocked, go for medication if you were on any
8.30 - go to work
12 - return from work, collect lunch, locked on house whilst staff had to eat lunch break
1.30- open house and back to work
4pm - back to house for tea
5-7pm - gym / library / association

Weekends would just be gym / association.

You could have three visits a month, which were 2-4pm xx