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AMA
Original poster

I've served a prison sentence

598 replies

NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 17:51

I've seen a few threads on here recently where the OPs have basically suggested prisoners are the scum of the earth and are all like the likes of Ian Huntley ect.

I've read the comments and seen a few prison officers defending the prisoners and most posters also defending them, but I thought maybe I would answer some questions so people can understand what it's really like to be inside a prison cell.

Ive name changed for obvious reasons.

Il list a few points that I think would be the first questions;

I'm female.

I'm 33 and I was in jail in 2012.

I received a 12 month custodial sentence. I served 13 weeks in jail, 13 weeks on a tag and the remaining 6 months were served on license at home.

I don't want to say exactly what I was in for as I don't want it to be outing. I will clarify though that it was not a violent offence, not a sexual one before I get abuse from posters. To summarise, I was with a boy who wasn't very well behaved and was basically guilty by association. I was young, stupid and naive. And I absolutely paid the price.

I wish I could change the perception of how people see prisoners.

Anyway, ask away.

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:43

maddiemookins16mum · 01/08/2022 19:36

Was there a ‘Top Dog’?? (Sorry, I know I’ve gone all Wentworth).

There were a few you wouldn't mess with. One of them fancied me so if anyone so much as looked at me funny she'd ask them what they were looking at 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:44

Americano75 · 01/08/2022 19:38

What an inspiring story, I hope you've given people some food for thought. Your story shows that anyone can make a mistake, or a bad choice and the consequences can be terrible.

Your mum must be so proud of how you've managed to not only survive, but thrive.

Thank you, that's the loveliest comment ever! She always says she is, I always worry I let her down but I've done my upmost best to turn it around x

OP posts:
Tigertigertigertiger · 01/08/2022 20:45

Was your bed comfy?

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 01/08/2022 20:46

Represented someone who was in prison.

It was so lovely how some (not sure if was the prison guards) tried to make it normal for the children who were visiting, such as drawings up on the wall, and got a bit choked up when there were a stack of free nappies on the desk.

Also was quite fascinated by how much alcohol is manufactured in prison.

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:47

JuneOsborne · 01/08/2022 19:42

Op, fascinating thread. And I think you've done a great job managing so many questions, and like a pp, I'm grateful for the quote being used so I know which question you're answering!

My question is: how do you take a bag of clothes with you? I can understand perhaps if you're not on remand (were you?) But do you turn up with a suitcase to court? What are you allowed to take in with you, do you get a list?

Yeah you can take your bag to court with you.

My ex bf advised me of what was allowed (about the only thing he was ever useful for haha). You also have 28 days after arriving to have a clothes parcel sent it.

You can have;
A coat
9 tops / jumpers
9 leggings / jeans
3 pairs of shoes
A dressing gown
Unlimited pjs, bras and knickers
Slippers

I also took nail files, toothbrushes, hair bobbles, hair brush. You can't take any toiletries x

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:47

whenimnotwithyou · 01/08/2022 19:44

Did you post about it before?

I remember an AMA ( I think) on this topic and a poster asked "why are you boasting?" 🙄

Great thread, thank you for sharing.

No I haven't posted about it before!

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 01/08/2022 20:47

@NCforAMA I read a book by Rosie Boycott called “Inside Out”
She had been involved with getting heroin at an Oxford end of Term party for a politician’s daughter ..
The daughter tragically died.
It was a fascinating book, but it made me cry and have nightmares.
As a teenager, 17, a boyfriend did a silly thing and I was arrested because of being with him.
I was told that I’d likely go on remand to Holloway, because of the hash in my pocket which terrified me.
The strip searching was very hard to deal with-
but the policewoman at Vine St gave me a Tatler to read- So boring in those 19th C cells otherwise.
Thankfully got a conditional discharge and vowed to stay away from dodgy men!
Very glad to hear you have turned your life around.
Best Wishes.

runforyourdog · 01/08/2022 20:47

Did you have any romantic relationships with the inmates or officers? Is it common for people to be in a relationship with an officer?

boomoohoo · 01/08/2022 20:48

Thank you op, what a brilliant thread. You've been so balanced and open. To the posters who are trying to get out of you where you were, and justify it by saying 'it's Ama isn't it' I would say - it's ask me anything, not - I will answer anything 🧐

A stranger (a man) who sexually assaulted me is in prison, for 5 years. I'm glad he's there as he doesn't get to abuse anyone else, but what id really like, in prison or not, is him to take responsibility for what he did. He never has, denied it all and put me through a trial. Despite this, i think of him from time to time and hope he's doing ok. I wouldn't want him to be miserable or abused himself, as a sex criminal might be hey, albeit I'm not a child.

Thank you again op 🙏

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:49

FinanceLPlates · 01/08/2022 19:45

Thank you for this AMA OP, I’m finding it fascinating and I’m glad to hear you have taken your life in a better direction.

Do you get some choice about what work you do or are you allocated a job? What other jobs are there in prison?

You got a choice but only of what was available. Which wasn't much haha. The jobs include;

Gardening
Cleaning
Painting and decorating
Working in the gym
Librarian
Working in the salon
Kitchen worker
Education
Recycling

You get paid between £8-25 a week x

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:50

5thHelena · 01/08/2022 19:45

Hello. May I ask if it's true what they say about child killers being 'sorted out' by the other prisoners? That if the inmates found out what a new inmate was in for and it was something truly horrific and despicable against a child, that other prisoners would see it as a good opportunity for some 'just desserts?' Or is it all an urban myth?

Yeah it happens, the ones in for those offences normally lie that they're in for fraud. But then prisoners would Google them and find out and then they'd get a seeing to. But then theyd kind of just make friends with each other, there would be gangs of peadophiles 🤢

OP posts:
OscarHotelNovemberOscar · 01/08/2022 20:51

interesting thread thank you.

On the topic of child abusers/child murderers, what sort of punishment do you think they should get? Do you agree with capital punishment?

BuddhaAtSea · 01/08/2022 20:52

@NCforAMA you come across as a lovely human being. Thank you for your frankness. I wish you all the best and I hope your fears and trauma will subside in time xx

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:52

SlickShady · 01/08/2022 19:45

A relative of mine became an alcoholic after turning to drink between arrest and trial. Even though they eventually only got community service, the experience has left a lasting impact (it's over 10 years later and they're still struggling on and off). How was the waiting for you? Did you turn to self-destructive behaviours in order to cope, or alternatively did you turn your life around?

It was a 2 year wait for me and that was worse than the prison sentence. I carried on working and I used to go running, anything to keep me busy and my mind occupied. But without fail every single day I'd sob on the way home from work.

Sorry about your relative xx

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 01/08/2022 20:52

Edit:
” Inside Out” is by Rosie Johnston

Not Rosie Boycott.
Apologies for error.

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:53

Unwavering721 · 01/08/2022 19:46

I’m thinking of applying for a teaching job in a local womens prison. Do you think I would be safe? I am worried about being physically attacked - is this a realistic fear, or have I watched too much tv?

You'd be safe!! You get the odd idiots but the other prisoners would defend you if anyone tried to harm you. Which I'm sure they wouldn't x

OP posts:
Blank165 · 01/08/2022 20:53

Enlightening thread. Thank you for sharing.

Id your conviction now considered spent, which by law means you are rehabilitated and no longer have to disclose? If so, does that open up other opportunities for you?

CraftyGin · 01/08/2022 20:54

Have you watched 'Banged up Abroad' or equivalent to see how standards vary across different countries?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:55

Iamconfuzzled · 01/08/2022 19:50

Really interesting thread and well done to you for turning things around - you should be really proud of yourself.

My question is, did anyone try to hurt/kill you or people around you in prison? Did anything happen to make you question your safety?

No one tried to hurt or kill me. One girl got hit over the head with an iron whilst I was there. There wasn't that much fighting.

One girl once said something nasty to me, but loads of others defended me, I didn't even have to reply back myself haha x

OP posts:
Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:55

clarepetal · 01/08/2022 19:52

Really interesting thread. Also wish you the best of luck for your future, and well done for turning your life around. 👏

Thank you!!

OP posts:
Justkidding55 · 01/08/2022 20:56

Is prison a deterrent or is it too lax?

XjustagirlX · 01/08/2022 20:58

What happens with meals if you have allergies or are gluten intolerant or are a vegetarian?

Original poster
NCforAMA · 01/08/2022 20:58

Augend23 · 01/08/2022 19:53

I really hope I'll never do anything that means I go to prison, but I'm basically clever but maybe not that good at e.g. gardening or whatever. I'd be totally happy to help people sort out forms, teach classes, deal with appeals etc - do they let people play to their strengths like that? Would helping people with stuff like that hopefully avoid you getting beaten up?

Also, you said the amount people got paid varied - what determined how much you got paid?

Thank you for this OP, it's a super interesting thread.

They have an 'education orderly' position, so you can work in education helping in the lessons!

I used to fill in forms for people, like their forms for applying for home leave ect and I think people do respect you for it but you're unlikely to get beaten up anyway unless you've harmed children.

I honestly don't know how they work out the wages, they made no sense x

OP posts:
GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 01/08/2022 20:58

This is a brilliant thread OP, well done for having the guts to post it (and run the gauntlet of idiots like those above who just want to kick people down).

I had a friend who went to prison for several years when he really shouldn’t have - I recently found the letters he wrote to me and visiting is etched on my memory. I’ve always said since that schools should run trips into prisons to teach kids why they don’t want to end up there! I’m glad women’s prisons sound less awful but I’m also aware that a lot of women end up in prison in the first place due to the actions of men: manipulation, control, abuse etc. Its one of the many reasons why I support A Woman’s Place because they campaign against prison sentences when there are mitigating circumstances.

To turn your life around takes a hell of a lot, and I take off my hat to you - I know how hard my friend found it. Don’t accept the judgment of others - there but for the grace of God and all that, much as we all might like to think that these things can’t possibly happen to us - and forgive yourself.

Burgerqueenbee · 01/08/2022 20:59

I just want to add another well done for turning your life around to the thread, you should be very proud of yourself.
I worked in a cat B local men's prison (not an officer), and one of the most sad things for me was the amount of men who reoffended repeatedly and never had the support in place in order to break the cycle, most of the time they were barely literate and from deprived areas locally, I think oftentimes they couldn't even conceive the idea their life could be better.

My brother spent some time in prison in his youth and even with family support it took him a few stays to manage to sort himself out.
Also to a PP there were transwomen who had not had surgery in the men's prison, and the same in another cat B local I would have to go to occasionally. I don't know if that is the case for all of the UK though.