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AMA

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I am a celebrity nanny… AMA

197 replies

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 12:15

Name changed for obvious reasons but I know I would have been curious about my job if I wasn’t doing it, so I figured I would help answer some questions people might have about what it’s like to nanny for rich/well-known families.

OP posts:
groovergirl · 07/04/2022 10:18

If it's not too outing, can you tell us what countries you've lived in and which have been your favourite so far? How did you learn to speak multiple languages? Did you learn them at school, or do you study languages as an interest?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/04/2022 10:22

If you go on to have children of your own will you ever employ childcare or use a nursery? I have known lots of nannies over the years and not one of them has apart from family/friends helping out.

NoCleverNickname · 07/04/2022 10:25

Where do you live when you’re not working?

Do you rent somewhere, go back to your parents or do you own your place that you go back to?

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 10:29

Now to address safeguarding issues and criminal activities (before I take a break from this thread and actually go make myself lunch)

@RodiganReed and @theDudesmummy

Regarding safeguarding I do this job for the kids. Like I joke about , the parents pay me but my real boss is baby. Which means all I do is for the children and their well-being I would NEVER condone any type of abuse or neglect. EVER. I don’t care if you are Rihanna if I see you do something worrying or absolutely not okay I will make sure I have massive evidence video/audio evidence and I will break my NDA and not just report it to the police and CPS but go public about it just so that I am sure there is enough outrage and viability that the police and social services will be forced to intervene. I do know that that would mean the end of my career but my career is based on the love I have for those kids not the one I have for their parents and my loyalty lays with the child not with mom and dad. Same if there is domestic abuse towards the mum for example and the kids are witnessed to it, I would report it to CPS as a safeguarding issue.

I am sure some nannies don’t care or are scared. I mean those people have money and power, some of us work for people who are the top or the political game. Going against them is daunting but I think they get away with enough already and I don’t personally believe in enabling them to do what they want.

I had a family who tried and forced me to work illegally and made a lot of illegal requests (can’t say names but ironically they were not so surprisingly linked to politics) and would try to change my pay or edit the contract half-way through to benefit them, I think they were shocked when I refused and threatened to sue them if they didn’t make everything legal and paid me above board. They were quite high up and so I think they thought I wouldn’t dare go against them and also they probably felt what they were asking was reasonable because nobody even if found out would probably hold them accountable for it so they saw it as low risk and perfectly acceptable.

Thankfully as soon as I threatened legal actions they sorted everything out legally for me at least (they still have UK nannies working in Europe under no visas and paid under the table and whatever else; ahem!) it wasn’t hard to stand up for myself because I had enough evidence of their requests that I knew I was in the right but it was daunting because they can accuse you of anything and their word is worth a lot. So it’s hard to have people like that have so much control over your career and life when you are just trying to do your job.

So yes I am confronted to a fair amount of law breaking or like they prefer to call it “law bending” but unless it concerns the kids or I am asked directly to participate or it would be illegal in the “let’s eliminate X and have him killed off” sense (which thankfully has never happened! Or at least been overheard by me!) then I tend to stay out of it.

As for if I notice people ripping them off? Yes, a lot but it’s part of the game unfortunately I think. If you have a billionaire come to your shop you might sell them something for triple the price because you know they won’t question it. So I think that happens a lot.

But I also know the very sad case of a lovely billionaire family I was working for. Honestly so nice and naturally generous who hired a couple as guardians for their summer family estate and while the dad (grandpa or the kids and head of the family) was going through cancer treatment and on the verge of dying and they completely took advantage of him not overlooking finances and reaped him off.

In this world you need to trust people with your money. I usually don’t have access to their credit cards but the PA will or might as will the house manager those people had access to checks and cards I guess and were in charge of renovating the house (they also were given a house on property and they were allowed have it renovated at the same time to their taste using the family’s money of course) well they did do that but they also decided to pay off their mortgage and renovate their own personal house top to bottom with the family’s money, they would just order double the material and alter the bills and pass them on as building renovations asked by the family themselves.

And because the family trusted and don’t deal with their accounting themselves and don’t necessarily check their bank account especially during that moment in their life, it was found out months later when the person in charge of renovating the couple’s home actually called them to double check if all the extra work that kept being requested at a different address was actually something they wanted done.

They got fired and then refused to exit the property (total definition of cheeky fuckers if there was over one) so the family had to go through the long legal process of evicting them and yet they made life very difficult when the family was visiting while they were still squatting the estate. It was ridiculous and heartbreaking, especially as the family made the decision to not sue them and not go after the money as they wanted to focus on the dad/grandpa’s health and just wanted them out. So yes some people are real sharks and the worst of humanity and I do get to unfortunately meet them too.

If I saw something in this case I would of course say something too! But yes people feel entitled toward money that’s not theirs. You just have to read the thread about the lady who won the lottery and where people suddenly felt entitled to a couple million. It’s disgusting such people exist tbh.

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 07/04/2022 10:37

@VIPNanny
I love that you consider the Baby as your Boss💕!

The baby/ies are lucky to have you.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/04/2022 11:35

Are you a Norland Nanny?

Fordian · 07/04/2022 11:59

This is fascinating!

Thanks!

MuchasSmoochas · 07/04/2022 12:07

Enjoying this so much. You sound lovely OP. It I were HNW I’d def get you on my books.

TheDuchessOfMN · 07/04/2022 12:13

How do celebrity new mums snap back into shape so quickly? Grin

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 12:18

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I am not a Norland nanny and trust be told, I haven’t met one, and very rarely see parents looking for one. I think they used to be really popular but because young parents are now much more into “modern parenting” 20th century inspired discipline just isn’t as popular and so while I do think Norland nannies still have an advantage, I think it can now also be a disadvantage for some parents. Norland have their own agency so that’s possible it’s why I don’t really see people looking for them anymore as I of course can’t register with Norland but none or the parents I worked for looked for a Norland nanny.

@groovergirl

It would be a bit outing if I listed all of the countries but let’s say I did quite a bit of Europe, Australia, the US and some exotic islands and a year in the Middle East.

It would be hard to decide which I liked most. They all had pros and cons and I think in my work 99% of how I feel about a place is based upon the family.

Personally if I had kids I would probably pick either the Netherlands or Australia to live in or an island.

But for me personally I quite enjoyed Europe as whole, I am bored on islands after a few weeks (/days!) and Australia is too far and California.

The worst place to work was Italy. Lots of corruption and a total nightmare paperwork wise as I feel most people try to do things under the table so I found it very aggravating. The Middle East is also not for me.

I learned languages by moving abroad. I learned some stuff at school but you only really learn when exposed to it on a daily basis. So if I am in a new country I try and force myself to speak in the local language. Even if it’s just a few words so that I don’t take the bad habit of relying on my English. The few times I didn’t do that I regretted because I didn’t learn as much as I could and life would have been easier if I had bothered and did. So now I force myself. I love languages though and initially thought I was destined to be an interpreter!

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I would 100% have a nanny or daycare.

It’s probably the most ironic but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy being a stay at home mom. It’s funny because I am looking after kids 24/6 but that’s because I love my day off and breaks so much that I know I will need and want a nanny if I have kids.

The only hard thing is because I have been in the childcare industry for a while I have met lots of amazing nannies and Au pairs but also lots of terrible one, so it would be hard to trust I am making the right choice. But I do believe parent deserve a break and so while I would hire someone 24/6 I would definitely hire someone!

Hopefully one of my many nanny friend would volunteer! Grin

OP posts:
VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 12:36

@TheDuchessOfMN

Honestly I do NOT know! I wish I knew!!

But I usually arrive before the birth and I am there the first 3 months and I can tell you that none of them (the ones I have worked with at least) do anything crazy! I mean they eat healthy and if they can eventually do some gentle sport/personal training they do but it’s very much genes at this point because they lose the weight almost as soon as baby is out!

I do think overall they had an healthy active lifestyle pre baby that they kept during the pregnancy so their body was ready to bounce back. But I don’t think there is a massive secret and so far I haven’t seen anyone starve themselves or do 8 hours workout 2 days after birth!

I do want to ask them for future references but honestly I see them continuously and I can tell that there just really isn’t a secret to it.

But also to be fair none of the mothers I have worked for were heavy pre-pregnancy and they didn’t really look like they had put much weight on during it either. I mean I see pictures of Rihanna pregnant right now and I am pretty positive she will have her pre-pregnancy body a month after birth probably with minimal to no efforts.

Some people are lucky like that!

I can tell you it’s not from drinking Juice Plus or Forever Living nor using Younique products though Grin (though now I am laughing and trying to imagine how long it would take me to get fired if I turned into an MLM bot post-birth trying to advise the mother on post-birth care all while sneakily trying to recommend and sell her MLM products to get back in shape and now I am heavily curious if there are mastermind nannies who actually do that and how successful they happen to be? Might have to do a survey!)

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/04/2022 12:52

Have you ever nannied for a family where the husband was clearly gay, and it was some unspoken secret type thing?

HobNobAddict · 07/04/2022 13:05

Is this a joke ?

goodnightsugarpop · 07/04/2022 19:00

This is so interesting OP thank you! Do you find you're expected to look/dress a certain way? I used to be a temp nanny many years ago and worked for a couple of pretty wealthy families (not billionaire level). I always just wore cheap comfortable clothes that were usually covered in baby spit and poster paint, had my hair in a messy bun every day, usually too busy & tired to shave my legs regularly on summer holidays etc. I did get a few comments from families and the agency that I wasn't presenting myself well enough to work for HNW families lol.

Mitzi067 · 07/04/2022 19:02

I am enjoying reading this Post, hearing first-hand how someone is experiencing life as a Top Nanny, so interesting.

Lwren · 07/04/2022 19:53

Have you ever struggled with attachment to a child and hated knowing they've got such an intense lifestyles? Cool thread op!

Lovely13 · 07/04/2022 20:08

Was in Whitehall other day. Massive people carrier outside posh hotel stopped by me. Doormen all in a rush to assist passengers. Two 7/8 year old boys got out in school uniforms, followed by two women. Heck of a school run!
Prefer my suburban walk with my kids and dog, back in the day.

Flittingaboutagain · 07/04/2022 20:15

You seem so lovely. I recently hired a nanny to help me whilst my husband was away and I was recovering from an operation. Still breastfeeding so we took it in turns to sleep with the baby and then she woke me for night feeds during her stint. It worked so well and she was worth every penny!

TheDuchessOfMN · 07/04/2022 20:20

[quote VIPNanny]@TheDuchessOfMN

Honestly I do NOT know! I wish I knew!!

But I usually arrive before the birth and I am there the first 3 months and I can tell you that none of them (the ones I have worked with at least) do anything crazy! I mean they eat healthy and if they can eventually do some gentle sport/personal training they do but it’s very much genes at this point because they lose the weight almost as soon as baby is out!

I do think overall they had an healthy active lifestyle pre baby that they kept during the pregnancy so their body was ready to bounce back. But I don’t think there is a massive secret and so far I haven’t seen anyone starve themselves or do 8 hours workout 2 days after birth!

I do want to ask them for future references but honestly I see them continuously and I can tell that there just really isn’t a secret to it.

But also to be fair none of the mothers I have worked for were heavy pre-pregnancy and they didn’t really look like they had put much weight on during it either. I mean I see pictures of Rihanna pregnant right now and I am pretty positive she will have her pre-pregnancy body a month after birth probably with minimal to no efforts.

Some people are lucky like that!

I can tell you it’s not from drinking Juice Plus or Forever Living nor using Younique products though Grin (though now I am laughing and trying to imagine how long it would take me to get fired if I turned into an MLM bot post-birth trying to advise the mother on post-birth care all while sneakily trying to recommend and sell her MLM products to get back in shape and now I am heavily curious if there are mastermind nannies who actually do that and how successful they happen to be? Might have to do a survey!)[/quote]
I literally laughed out loud when I read this today Grin

I think you’re amazing. I once read a celebrity —Millie Mackintosh— describe how she has a nanny and also a night nanny. I can’t believe you do both, 6 days a week Shock

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 20:39

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

No, I would find it quite sad for all involved actually! There is A LOT of homophobia amongst rich people, disgustingly so if you ask me, it’s quite shocking actually how many unfunny jokes I hear, so I could imagine that it would be much harder to come out in many ways, especially as a man.

That being said, also didn’t meet any secret lesbian mom keen to run off with me into the sunset so… Grin everybody has been pretty straight so far!

@HobNobAddict nope, not a joke, no.

@goodnightsugarpop in some families I have a uniform yes! (But currently in my leggings with my hair into a bun as well!) so it depends on the family. I try to read the room!

Some people want you to look immaculate, others let you come as you are (to a certain extent) and actually don’t want you to look too “nice.”

I personally think nannies should dress as they see most practical, some of my uniforms were not suited at all for my work. It might have looked nice but was heavily impractical.

(Thank you for the reminder to shave my legs haha haven’t bothered in a few days but it’s pouring rain and freezing here, so the extra layer has been nice!)

@Lwren I get attached to all of the kids and worry about them all but in different ways. Kids are adaptable so I don’t worry so much about their lifestyle but for some I worry about the pressure they are already experiencing to perform, for others I worry about the lack of interest their parents show in them and how that will impact them and what that might mean for the future (will they have mental health issues? Will they turn to drugs?) that worry me. The ones who worry me most are the kids who are a bit older and already so aware or their wealth and the power that come with and are heavily defined by it already in the way they interact with people and address. I worry about the kids well-being always but I also worry about them turning into horrible human beings and adults. Because I do believe there is a striking difference between people who worked for their money and now can swim in it and people who were born into money and never had to earn it. So yes I worry what this lifestyle will do to them and if they will use their privileges for good or for horrible things. So you love on them as much as you can try and make them feel secure in the timeframe that you have and hope that somehow somewhere they will remember and carry it with them in their heart and that it will somehow save them from either developing substance dependency or from turning into the next dictator.

All of the kids have looked after are still young so it’s hard to know what and who they will become but I am mostly excited to find out. I have also met plenty of older kids and teenagers from that world that are absolutely brilliant and lovely and compassionate and for those I don’t worry and feel quite excited about them being the future tbh!

I think ultimately I worry like a mom worries, you want what’s best for them and know the world is tough and you just hope they’ll be strong enough to not only survive and navigate it but also to make their mark on it without going about it the wrong way.

But I worry more about the planet they are growing up in I mean the world is a scary place right now, visible climate change, increase in natural disasters, pandemic, war, civil unrest in many countries. I mean it’s impossible not to worry and wonder how tough life will be for them as kids of this generation, but ultimately I also know their wealth protect them and for all downsides that come with it, money is probably the thing that speak the loudest and can get you the furthest in this world so I am equally conscious of their blatant privilege and I hope they will be too.

OP posts:
pamplemoussee · 07/04/2022 20:45

At what age are the babies sleep trained ?

Lwren · 07/04/2022 20:48

Can we be best friends? You sound really lovely!

whatwasIgoingtosay · 07/04/2022 21:32

Great thread, thanks!

PinkPlantCase · 07/04/2022 21:50

Thank you OP I’ve really enjoyed this thread.

Now a question-

Are the breastfed babies sleep trained by 3 months? If so you sound like a miracle worker 😂

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 22:20

@pamplemoussee At what age are the babies sleep trained ?

Each baby is different but usually with me around 3 months they tend to be doing 10:30pm/11pm until 6am/6:30am and then usually go back to bed until 9am-ish.

@PinkPlantCase Are the breastfed babies sleep trained by 3 months? If so you sound like a miracle worker 😂

With breastfed babies it’s a bit more complex for multiple reasons.

As said I do most of the care and most of the routine is implemented by me. What I tend to do to achieve sleep training is to make sure babies have a consistent routine, are well-fed and have enough nap/awake cycles to be on a good cycle and have everything on their side to be able to sleep through. When a mother breastfeed at home without 24 hours help, she has much more insight on the actual routine, she does it herself, she gets to know her own milk supply and if baby is full or not, and the impact on his mood/behavior if not etc… so by default a mother learns that it’s in her best interest to be consistent and make sure the milk supply is right (by potentially topping off if need be). Because I do most of the care and the main thing they do is breastfeed they don’t necessarily understand that what they want isn’t always what’s best for baby in the moment.

I will always support a mom to breastfeed as much as possible if that’s what she wants or not at all if that’s what she prefers. I believe in fed is best. The problem is that some mom absolutely want to breastfeed, they don’t want to pump, and they absolutely don’t want to mix feed. That’s their choice, but the reality of nature means that sometimes their supply isn’t enough so baby is hungry still or gets hungry faster due to not getting as much (+ breast milk gets processed faster) which make them remaining settled for 6 hours+ at night near on impossible.

With a bottle fed baby when it’s feeding time at night, from the very beginning I try to make sure I differentiate night and day a lot in how I do my routine, so feeding time during the day is usually in places with other people and noise (as in daily noise) etc… so as to get used to feeding with noise, light, and people around without being phased by it, and when it’s feeding time at night have the least disruption and light and noise possible (as well as least interaction so as not to stimulate them too much), that usually work very well for me but if I have a breastfed baby at night, baby will wake up hungry and I then have to either call mom and hope she heard so she can come over (which might take a bit so baby gets worked up) or I might have to bring baby over and in this case I have to go through the faff or carrying him over to mom, lights might need to be turned so as not to trip or fall down the straits or whatever and by the time I get to mom baby is fully awake and might be worked up and then breastfeeding can take MUCH longer than bottle feeding so if I am lucky and it’s quickish I might be able to settle baby back to bed fairly rapidly but otherwise it can take a lot longer. To that you add the fact that because I spend so much time with the kids feeding is an even more important bonding and interactive time in those families so moms will want to interact and talk and coo at baby and that’s very cute but that doesn’t really help my routine. And become breastfeeding is done by mom she rightly dictate how it will be done each day but that means lots of changes and way less consistency so they are much harder in general to have sleep through the night.

It’s totally possible if you can accurately track supply, have a mom that support the routine in place and understand the importance of it and doesn’t go against it but otherwise for breastfed babies it tend to be a bit easier to have them sleep through a bit later when they are less reliant on milk and start eating solid food.

So no I don’t always manage to get all kids to sleep through by 3 months, especially breastfed babies where I have way less control over their routine over all and feeding times.

@Lwren one can never have too many best friends so absolutely! You sound lovely yourself!

OP posts:
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