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AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I am a celebrity nanny… AMA

197 replies

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 12:15

Name changed for obvious reasons but I know I would have been curious about my job if I wasn’t doing it, so I figured I would help answer some questions people might have about what it’s like to nanny for rich/well-known families.

OP posts:
housenotice · 06/04/2022 21:12

This has been an interesting thread, thank you OP. You come across as kind and articulate and smart. Smile

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 21:13

@Hertsgirl10

There are nanny agencies mostly based in the U.K. actually that specialize in nanny placement for high-net worth families.

@Notwithittoday

Parents sleep in their own room and I sleep every night with baby minus one night a week which is my night off.

I think some parents are like you and schedule me for the night but only let me do the nights occasionally but the majority I would say love their sleep and are happy not having to have to give it up & happily hand me baby over for the night. I will say that it’s hard(er) to do nights with exclusively breastfed babies though, because I still need mum at night (unless she is pumping and some chose not to) and so we are all awake anyway and it’s much harder for me to track how much milk baby is getting and the nights are usually much shorter for everyone.

OP posts:
OhSoStranger · 06/04/2022 21:15

How do you manage to work 24 hours a day if the baby has been up all night - what happens if you are sick?

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 21:25

@Theredjellybean

I can’t speak for every family but for example in two weeks the family goes on a trip and me and the kid(s) stay here. On the next we will tag along.

I think usually a lot of families don’t put much emphasis on their kids going to school until much later. That being said they usually have tutor and everything so it’s not as if they skip school all together. Even in the Bahamas mid-term the kids probably actually follow more classes than their peers because they will still have classes etc…

Most of the family I know work like this:

From birth until first few month: a newborn nanny
From 1-2 until 5yo; nanny
From 5 onwards: nanny governess (so a nanny with a background in teaching and education) + tutors.

So the kids are very very rarely behind even if they aren’t at school everywhere they go as they still have classes and tutoring every day anywhere they go.

I think it’s much more toward middle school and high school that parents stop taking their kids with them during school term as that’s when classes become more serious and determine a bit more your future. At this stage kids usually go to boarding school or will stay home during most trips with nannies and other staff, and will fly out on the weekend (if short trip) or during the school holidays. At this stage they are also a lot more independent and probably also less keen to travel and tag along with mum and dad so it becomes much easier to leave them behind. At least that’s what I have personally witnessed.

OP posts:
BiscuitLover3678 · 06/04/2022 21:31

What do they do for the one day/night you don’t work? How do you feel about working with newborns?

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 21:33

@OhSoStranger

I usually get a 4 hours break during the day (in 2 hours blocks at least usually) and I am also allowed to catch up on sleep when the baby is napping. The reality is that I am constantly sleep deprived though.

For example right now it’s soon 11pm and I am waiting for them to come back with the child which means I have to stay awake and probably won’t be in bed until midnight (assuming they are back soon), baby then wake up 2 or 3 times so it’s rough. I average 4 hours of sleep a night I would say. Hence why I usually only do short contract when it’s 24/6 as anymore than 3 months I find very hard.

If I am sick I usually notify the family as I work with newborns, it’s then up to them to decide some will give me the day off (but usually it means that there my day off for the week used up) and others will ask if I feel well enough to work. I would have to be on the verge of death though to ask for a day for sickness as well. You just learn to pull through in this job and that’s very much expected of you.

I honestly don’t know how nannies who do 24 hours shifts all year long do. My current contract ends in a bit less than 2 months and while I am heartbroken at leaving my current little one, it feels too far away still because one day off just realistically isn’t enough to recover. (I am taking the summer off after this contract though thankfully! So trying to survive the sleep deprivation until then!)

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/04/2022 21:35

Is there a hierarchy of staff in wealthy households? Where does a nanny fit in all that?

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 21:42

@housenotice thank you, very kind of you!

@BiscuitLover3678

Some families have another nanny take over, in my current position they do the night themselves. They are usually quite happy when they see me the next day. That’s the funny thing I don’t really have a day off. Let’s say my day off starts at 6pm on Monday, it ends at 6pm On Tuesday so technically there isn’t a day where I am not actively at work but there is this 24 hours window when I am not there to actively help. But you would be made to think I have been gone 3 weeks! Grin to be fair even for me, I always feel like the baby has changed a bit in the odd 24 hours I haven’t seen them (though I technically do usually get pictures and updates and questions during my time off of and about them so I am actually always in the loop so to say and don’t even technically get to miss out on a bowel movement! Haha)

I love working with newborns, I mean who doesn’t like newborn cuddles? I get to have the tough sides but honestly while the night are rough at times we still make memories and have the cutest morning routine. Current baby is starting to smile right now so I always get the first smile of the day. And the first cuddle. It’s the little tiny things that make every tough night worth it and every tough day forgotten about! (Babies are quite good at preventing you from holding a grudge anyway! Wink)

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 06/04/2022 21:50

God I just don't think I could cope without the sleep cos you're constantly on call from the sounds of it
Cos it's your job

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 22:00

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Yes definitely (unfortunately), and it’s reflected in a lot of ways. The pay for one, as well as the trust the family has in you. As a nanny you are way more trusted than a housekeeper.

In my opinion the hierarchy is centered on the family so the more closely you work with the family and also how long you have been there.

There is almost always someone who has been there 20 years or who was there when the mom or dad was little and pretty much raised them. They rule the household, if they are nice it’s awesome if they are not they can easily get you fired and their word will be worth 10x yours always.

Apart from that I would say the hierarchy goes like this.

1- Nannies

We look after the kids, we are the one who have the most interaction with the parents and we are also usually the liaison between the kids and the staff. That’s problematic because some nannies feel superior to the rest of the staff for example and as a result some staff often feel hostile at first toward nannies as they are as aware as we are of the hierarchy and find it unfair (as they should!).

Our “power” is mostly due to the fact that reliable childcare is hard to find and the interviewing process is grueling and nothing worse than childcare so parents would usually rather lose any other staff over losing their nanny. And everyone knows it (nannies included).

2- House manager/PA

It’s the parents right arm, usually the one who is the liaison between the parents and the entire staff and their work life. but also the one who doesn’t actually know anything about household work but will plan your schedule and tell you what to do. Because we don’t know if what he is asking comes from the parents or just from him, we usually abide by what he says and we do know that he has a similar power to the longest-standing member of staff. So they usually have a lot more privileges and are usually the most well paid member of staff alongside the nannies (and often above the nannies).

3- the chef

The chef feeds the family, and usually honestly is everyone’s best friend because he feeds us all too so happy for him/her to have the privileges they have!

4- the butler.

Another member of staff who has continuous contact with the parents and therefore is also trusted with a lot of things and usually highly respected. The butler is usually the liaison between nannies and housekeeping in many ways.

5- housekeeping.

Unfortunately I would say like in real life housekeepers are undervalued. They are usually my favorite members of staff though and they are probably the best one in the estate at biting their tongue despite usually being the least paid staff for what I feel is doing the hardest work.

I am not sure where body guards and security stand. I think again it depends on how close they are to the family. Some are there for years so by then they are at the same level as a house manager or a nanny I feel, but more recent ones are probably at the same level as housekeepers.

I am curious what the rest of the staff would say but I do think they would overall agree with that order because like I say the hierarchy is unfortunately reflected a lot in the pay and in perks/privileges you get which are all based on the trust you have earned from the family and it has a lot to do with the role you play in the household.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 06/04/2022 22:04

Do you hang out with the family?
Eg watch Tele in the lounge, chat with them, have a drink with them?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/04/2022 22:07

VIPNanny

Interesting. Thank you for detailing it.

Bangolads · 06/04/2022 22:13

Can you put the questions in your answers please 😅

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/04/2022 22:40

@Bangolads

Can you put the questions in your answers please 😅
The thread's only four pages long atm so not difficult to remember which questions are being answered! Just pretend you're reading her journal where there are no questions

I think she's doing a grand and thorough job

Charlize43 · 06/04/2022 23:00

What is the weirdest thing you've been asked to do?

Thank you VIPNanny. This is such an interesting thread!!!

Happyhappyday · 06/04/2022 23:03

@VIPNanny you should consider moving to Seattle. Nanny rates start around $30/hour, 40 hours a week for regular families (ours earns $34). Overtime over 40 hours is legally required at 1.5x. An experienced nanny for a wealthy family would have no trouble finding a position at $40/hour basic before OT. 60 hours a week gets you to $2800/week.

SuperSocks · 06/04/2022 23:21

Do they film you? I've nannied for a few celebrity/high profile families and am freaked out at the thought of them spying on me! I feel like I'm acting and being all false instead of being natural and normal when I know there are cameras lurking in corners!

teaandchocolate1 · 06/04/2022 23:23

Do they just use designer baby clothing or do they also use handmedowns/tesco and Primark baby clothing? 😂

SarahDippity · 06/04/2022 23:31

Has your experience been mostly with families where the dad is the celeb, the mum, or ‘power couples’, and is there a different dynamic at play between the different types?

Coolcoolcool · 06/04/2022 23:47

What sort of sleep training do you do with them? (And any tips?!)

TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine · 07/04/2022 00:12

[quote Happyhappyday]@VIPNanny you should consider moving to Seattle. Nanny rates start around $30/hour, 40 hours a week for regular families (ours earns $34). Overtime over 40 hours is legally required at 1.5x. An experienced nanny for a wealthy family would have no trouble finding a position at $40/hour basic before OT. 60 hours a week gets you to $2800/week.[/quote]
Would that be gross or nett though? ATM she is getting the equivalent of $1,800-1,900 nett, plus there aren’t the same issues with healthcare

Happyhappyday · 07/04/2022 01:22

You’d pay about 25% in taxes etc and a competitive package would include healthcare. Mainly the hours though, Nannies charge standard rate for awake hours & a flat fee overnight ($200 is common), so with her current hours she’s not working a 60 hour week, she’s working 144. Even if we generously say she’s only working 80 hours of awake time, she’d be getting $4000 gross + $1200 in overnight fees. Newborn care here also often is even higher, $50/hour would not be unusual & again this is based on regular families, not agency jobs which tend to be even higher.

SleepingStandingUp · 07/04/2022 02:30

As much as it keeps you in work, do you secretly judge a family who have a baby and then basically hand it over from birth to someone else to do all the hard work simply because they don't want to?

Maybe I'm bitter because I have twins two don't sleep through the night and it's just us, we have to cope. 😂

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/04/2022 03:36

How do you get comfy in a new house - what about if you fancy a snack, can you rummage in the fridge or do you have to ask the chef, wait for the chef to be on duty etc?

Dita73 · 07/04/2022 03:41

Was Jude Law any good?