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AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I am a celebrity nanny… AMA

197 replies

VIPNanny · 06/04/2022 12:15

Name changed for obvious reasons but I know I would have been curious about my job if I wasn’t doing it, so I figured I would help answer some questions people might have about what it’s like to nanny for rich/well-known families.

OP posts:
LimeSegment · 07/04/2022 04:05

This is really interesting OP. It's something I never knew I wanted to know about but turns out I do Grin

My question is do you think you are underpaid? The money sounds great as a weekly wage, but that's comparing it to most people's 40-50 hour week and yours is around 150 hours! I suppose having housing and food costs covered adds quite a bit of extra value. But still.

alexdgr8 · 07/04/2022 04:50

i guess someone in that role has to be very self sufficient.
there must be many hours where it is just you and a very young baby, so not much conversation, even about work matters ?
having your own separate house sounds nice, but you hardly have any time to use it.
what do you do for food on your day off; do you have to go shopping and cook/prepare for yourself, or can you carry something across from the big house in anticipation; you wouldn't want to have to keep popping back for a cheese sandwich on your day off...
sorry if these seem like silly questions.
thanks for the insight into this little known world.

Spitescreen · 07/04/2022 05:23

Are you lonely, OP? Does living in, getting such limited time off and presumably seeing very little of anyone outside your employing family for the duration of each contract mean that it’s next to impossible to maintain friendships and relationships?

Also, as you must be saving a lot of money with so few overheads, do you have a plan for it, possible when you ‘retire’ as a nanny?

themessygarden · 07/04/2022 06:21

What kind of clauses are in your NDA ?

alexdgr8 · 07/04/2022 06:37

but OP doesn't work 12 months in the year, does she, so it's not so much money when averaged out.
she needs time to recover. and sleep. until the next assignment...
it's a very intense working life.

Nanny67 · 07/04/2022 06:54

Do you get a chance to spend your wages?

Bionicname · 07/04/2022 07:24

What language(s) do you speak with the baby? Do the parents specify eg English, or their own language? Or do you speak in your mother tongue with the baby, or a mixture?

Twopandemicpregnancies · 07/04/2022 07:42

Do you own or rent your own property for when you are between nannying jobs, or do you stay with family/friends when you are between roles?

Presumably you save a lot…what will you do with the money?

RodiganReed · 07/04/2022 07:45

I know two nannies who specialise in HNW families (one at the peak of her career and one who has more or less left now, they don't know each other). Because of my professional background both have loosely complained to me about safeguarding issues within the families they work for in a "isn't this outrageous, if ordinary families did this social services would be all over them.." kind of way.

The subtext is often "aren't social services shit" when in fact social services know nothing about these kids because of the cloak of privacy these families are able to draw around themselves, which the nannies I know are frankly complicit with.

They didn't really speak to me about about distinct incidents or divulge any details about the specific families they work with (I probably wouldn't know who they are anyway!) but there was an occasion when one of them was alluding to something straight up not okay that ANY professional working with a child would know to report. I urged this nanny to speak to her agency to clarify what their safeguarding policy was, which she did.. and she apparantly got a load of waffle back about data protection and not damaging the professional relationship etc etc. The situation did resolve itself thankfully, but only by accident not design and certainly not because of anything the nanny did.

I was left with the distinct impression that nannies and the industry around them have a looser grasp of safeguarding than local authority bin men and cleaners who at least get level 1 training.

okayigetit · 07/04/2022 07:57

Do you like it and do you see yourself doing it forever?

I work with UHNWI but I don't interact with them on a daily basis, the people I work with aren't celebrities, they're just super rich and are nice people but I can't stand how demanding they are and entitled!

Sushi7 · 07/04/2022 08:01
  1. How often do these parents (on average) actually spend with their dc? If they’re employing you 24/6 then I wonder why they even had dc in the first place!
  1. Any tips on getting newborns to sleep?
BiscuitLover3678 · 07/04/2022 08:22

@RodiganReed

I know two nannies who specialise in HNW families (one at the peak of her career and one who has more or less left now, they don't know each other). Because of my professional background both have loosely complained to me about safeguarding issues within the families they work for in a "isn't this outrageous, if ordinary families did this social services would be all over them.." kind of way.

The subtext is often "aren't social services shit" when in fact social services know nothing about these kids because of the cloak of privacy these families are able to draw around themselves, which the nannies I know are frankly complicit with.

They didn't really speak to me about about distinct incidents or divulge any details about the specific families they work with (I probably wouldn't know who they are anyway!) but there was an occasion when one of them was alluding to something straight up not okay that ANY professional working with a child would know to report. I urged this nanny to speak to her agency to clarify what their safeguarding policy was, which she did.. and she apparantly got a load of waffle back about data protection and not damaging the professional relationship etc etc. The situation did resolve itself thankfully, but only by accident not design and certainly not because of anything the nanny did.

I was left with the distinct impression that nannies and the industry around them have a looser grasp of safeguarding than local authority bin men and cleaners who at least get level 1 training.

This is awful and so sad
VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 08:40

@Bangolads Can you put the questions in your answers please 😅

I will try and do so from now on!

@purpleme12 Do you hang out with the family?
Eg watch Tele in the lounge, chat with them, have a drink with them?

My first instinct was to say «absolutely not!» (re the TV and having drinks with them) but actually it’s a bit more complex than that.

So yes, and no? For example this week some relatives are visiting and I have been invited to eat with them most nights.

In other families meals might be separated but if there is a birthday they might invite you for cake and offer you a cup of champagne (I only take one sip for politeness but wouldn’t start having a glass of wine with them!) for movies. Well, I would go seat on the couch with them when they are cuddling up watching Netflix (the thought and mental image did make me laugh!) as I am after all supposed to be at work! But that being said my current family is really chill and are more than happy for me to watch TV during my shift or things like that and if the news are on during the day they won’t mind if I seat on the couch with baby and watch it with them and we will comment on it. Same if I happen to be watching TV while the kids nap she might seat down and follow along.

But in the evening I see it as their time and would never try to seat and watch a movie with them.

I think in this case the age of the kids matter. With babies, TV is for adults not for them so there is no real reason to watch a movie technically during my shift. When a nanny looks after older kids, it’s more likely that they will have things like TV time or movie night and in this case yes, everyone might seat on the couch (nannies included) and watch a movie together. But it’s more for the benefits of the kids.

Overall most households I felt were very casual so there were times were we did hang out together but overall it’s still my work place and I try to keep an healthy distance to have environment where we are fully comfortable with each other but where I don’t act like I am family either as that would be totally inappropriate.

OP posts:
user1491207026 · 07/04/2022 08:42

Any tips on dealing with a newborn waking up every hour?

Wheniruletheworld · 07/04/2022 08:44

When is all said and done, everyone breathes air and s**ts brown
Why the interest in humans who just happen to have money, particularly the nouveau riche who have neither taste nor class?

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 09:03

@Charlize43 What is the weirdest thing you've been asked to do?

I don’t think I would honestly be able to answer that not due to NDA but because a lot of things get normalized in this world and I actually don’t even think I am the one who get the crazy requests as that would be for the poor PA who is responsible for making all of their wishes come true.

Something I was asked to do that only a family who has staff to do it would do (because no parents without staff would ever bother) was to bath the kids (older) in the morning, middle or the day and night and to change them for each thing they were doing during the day. I found it rather unbearable even though the kids were used to it and mostly compliant.

I am not someone who will do things that goes against the benefit of the kids though. I had a 5yo who lived in this elite environment and each play date seemed like a way for adults to assess his skills and compare it to other kids, I remember taking him to a play date and have the mom ask a couple pointed questions «I have heard he speaks really good French (he did) » , «I heard he plays the piano wonderfully well, fo you think he could speak in French for a bit and play the piano for us?» hum… hell no! Had to say no in no uncertain terms and that he came to play not to perform but that I could absolutely confirm that both his piano skills and linguistic skills were absolutely impressive for his age.

She wasn’t happy. The hardest thing for me to deal with are opportunists who are willing to use the kids to either get close to the family or use children to feel good about themselves by forcing them to learn all those tricks and perform on demand. I refuse to partake in that personally.

@Happyhappyday

If you want to hire me once your nanny leave feel free! Haha

But jokes aside, I did use to work in the US but getting visas can be quite complex and it’s a bit hard to find families who want to sponsor visas. I also left the US last year because of some health issues that are now solved but were low-key breaking the bank then. I know pay is much higher there and so I am not ruling it out but it’s about finding a way to get the right visa for the right family, when I moved back to Europe though after 3 years in the states I found it quite nice not having to worry about things like healthcare, shootings, general violence etc…

I hadn’t realized until then how much it impacts one psyche. But it does. The fact that guns are easily available in the US and shooting a daily occurrence made everything feel a lot less safe and quite a bit more stressful. Especially when you work in that type of environment. I was also there (as in in the US) when Lady Gaga’s dog walker was shot when walking her dog. So here despite bodyguards the risk feel fairly low and fairly harmless in comparison so I find it a slightly healthier work environment. I love the US and truly miss leaving in California though! (And planning to go back for a few weeks at the end of my contract. So might check up if there are opportunities for me there that are interesting).

But I value finding the right family and working in the right environment above money. I think past a certain amount someone also has more money than they need. Even now. It’s more money than I have ever had so while earning more seems nice I feel it would just pile up on my bank account (which I guess isn’t a bad thing but feel a bit cheeky when so many are struggling to ask to be paid $4000 a week to look after some kids which while hard don’t feel worth 20k a month?).

I don’t know I already sometimes feel cheeky to be paid what I am paid even if broken down and for my hours it’s really not that much.

OP posts:
VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 09:27

@SuperSocks Do they film you?

Some families do. Some don’t.

But honestly I was already filmed when working for average families so I am not phased by cameras. I do not feel as spontaneous to break into a dance or song though though I still might… if they are not around! Grin

Usually in those big estates, they don’t watch the cameras themselves though. Security does. And sometimes the main home doesn’t have camera inside because they don’t want security to see them live their life. I was working for a family where there was camera everywhere but inside their house and same bodyguards were outside but never came inside the home at all. So they lived normally inside their house but had the safety of knowing their house was secure.

@teaandchocolate1 Do they just use designer baby clothing or do they also use handmedowns/tesco and Primark baby clothing? 😂

Hand me downs from previous kids or family members yes, but primark or testo clothing. No.

That being said I (purposefully maybe, ahem!) offer outfits from cheap brands when the baby is born (so sometimes it might have been Primark) and they do wear it with «pride». I am the one dressing the baby anyway so I make sure they make use of it! But usually the parents are just grateful for the gifts and don’t care. They do make cute baby clothes at Primark unbeknownst to them so sometimes they are quite thrilled to discover them!

So yes sometimes they do wear Primark or supermarket clothes actually but that’s because I buy it! They wouldn’t ever buy it themselves I don’t think so, no.

@SarahDippity Has your experience been mostly with families where the dad is the celeb, the mum, or ‘power couples’, and is there a different dynamic at play between the different types?

all of the above, I mean I think sometimes it changes nothing but it’s more about about how they met right. People who were together before fame or are both equally successful are unlikely to be affected by it. People who started dating someone after they were famous or because they are famous you can totally tell.

Funny story, we got pulled over once at the border of a country (a family where mom was famous and dad was not) had all of our papers checked and the immigration officer asked the dad if he was the bodyguard! He was so offended but I personally had to try and not chuckle.

We still live in a sexist world so your wife being more successful than you is probably a bit harder on the ego to some. But overall I never noticed anything untoward or drastically different.

@SleepingStandingUp As much as it keeps you in work, do you secretly judge a family who have a baby and then basically hand it over from birth to someone else to do all the hard work simply because they don't want to?

I think it’s only human to judge something things so yes I do. I don’t judge parents who need the care, and who are recovering from a complicated birth etc… (I actually think a month of post-natal care should be available to every mother), or who are suffering from PND or simply working a lot.

But the concept of having someone work for you 24/6 in 2022, I do judge because I don’t necessarily find it very humane? (I mean I am fully consenting and happy with my work but just the thought that people think it’s an acceptable request is weird to me!)

The one I judge the most are the one who genuinely chose not to care for their kids at all, and begrudge me my breaks and one day off and ask me to have the kid sleep for them when on my break so they have an easy baby for the two hours or so I am gone. I can honestly say that money doesn’t make up for parental attention so it’s really hard to see people bring up kids into this world and then spending the bare minimum of time with them.

OP posts:
VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 09:32

@WiddlinDiddlin How do you get comfy in a new house - what about if you fancy a snack, can you rummage in the fridge or do you have to ask the chef, wait for the chef to be on duty etc?

It depends a lot on if there is a chef or not and if I have my own personal apartment for my time off. If I do then I go grocery shopping on my one day off and only use my fridge (though of course will grab drinks from the main fridge during my shift). If I live in the same house as them full time then yes I might but usually I just try to buy myself snacks that I keep in my room or suitcase and snack on when I have break. It’s very odd for me to go into their fridge and cupboards. But again some families are very casual and it’s easier but usually for snack and stuff I try and keep my own somewhere “safe” so I don’t have to potentially steal the mom’s favorite cookies!

OP posts:
Peppapigforlife · 07/04/2022 09:37

Where do you live when you're not working on a contract. Do you have your own place or do you go back to your parents? I wouldn't feel guilty for all that money. There might come a time where you're burnt out and don't want to do it anymore and that would be money to set you up in a new life :)

theDudesmummy · 07/04/2022 09:42

Hve you ever become concerned that a family is doing something illegal/immoral etc, and been tempted to tell someone. I don't mean child safeguarding, I mean that you must see and hear lots of family life including sometimes financial discussions etc? Or conversely, felt that there are people around the family who might be ripping them off or taking advantage of them?

VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 09:50

It’s getting hard to quote everyone so I will answer best as I can but for those who asked about sleep training and tips and advice feel free to PM me, it would be quite long to detail and each kid is different and a good night of sleep is determined a lot by the routine and potential health of baby so I would need way more details to be able to give pertinent advice that might be able to truly help you. So you can PM me with more info about your kids routine and feeds and I will come back to you as soon as I have a minute.

For those who asked about money and if I feel underpaid and if I time to use my money or what I do or will spend it on.

It’s this weird thing where I both feel overpaid and sometimes also underpaid? The irony is none of the people I work for would ever accept to work 24/6 for £1700/week. They make that in an hour or less. So they would never. I don’t even think they would do it for a million or a billion, so it’s a bit this irony.

Also people who have money don’t necessarily willingly pay high rates. I had people offer £1000/week for 24/6 and only when I told them “would you work 24/6 for £6,94/hour?” Did they semi-get it. They think £4000/month is a lot of money and a good salary for an average person and I 100% agree if you work 45-50 hours a week that it’s a really nice rate! But for 24 hours a day and 144 hours a week? No!

So currently I am earning £11.80 so not bad considering I have housing and food covered but also not that exceptional for working 24 hours a day.

UK nannies are the most screwed over though as the standard in the UK for 24 hours care is £250 GROSS per 24 hours, which is appalling and why families are very disgruntled about Brexit as now they can’t have British nannies working for peanuts and have to pay higher rates (though many still make UK nannies come via tourist visa just so they can save a couple thousands and pay the minimum they could find). So I would say I earn a lot more than the average person and I am conscious of that so could never complain (especially as I grew up in poverty) but also I don’t necessarily feel like my pay always reflect my working hours and the sacrifices no.

As for if I have time to spend my money. Not when I am at work no. On my day off I am usually to tired to do anything fun (or do anything really!) but I usually try to take a month off in between contracts and this year I would like to have July and August off.

On average I currently chose to work between 6/9 months of the year and so when I am not at work. I tend to travel, go visit my friends, former families/kids

OP posts:
VIPNanny · 07/04/2022 09:57

As for what I am saving for.

An apartment and a car (nothing fancy and nothing new either) so not being able to spend much help.

I rent when I am not working and if I visit family and they host me I of course pay them rent. But usually I spend more time visiting friends and there I just rent my own flat or something.

And no I don’t see myself doing that forever. Some do it until they are 60 but me I’ll be surprised if I am still doing it in 10 years. Physically I can tell already that I don’t have it in me to do 24 hours shifts 6 days a week for another 10 years. So I am saving now so I can move on feeling financially secure and not having to worry about a mortgage.

@Bionicname
the common language tend to be English with the parents but if I am in Italy I will speak English with the parents, italian with the staff (minus other English speaking nannies) and English and or my my native language with the baby.

I usually speak both alternatively, sometimes the family wants English sometimes they want my native language, sometimes they want a mix of both or they also speak a mix of languages and so kids grow up with all of those. It depends

OP posts:
oakleaffy · 07/04/2022 10:02

@VIPNanny
You sound such a lovely person.
That’s so interesting about Norland Nannies not being as “ En vogue” as they once were, as on seeing your initial post, I assumed that you would be a Norland Nanny.
Well done for progressing in your career to such a high level, that pay is pretty good.

I have know a couple of (Now ex. Nannies, both left to have own families, and one teaches languages now.
Both extremely nice people.
I didn’t ask who they worked for, as they’d not ever say, but, like you, they mentioned unhappiness in some of the families, and as you state- Money definitely doesn’t buy happiness, or protect from personal tragedy.

All children really want is to be loved.

Being sent to School where one boards can be very stressful for some children.

Thanks for a very interesting thread 🙂

babycryingandcrying · 07/04/2022 10:10

It seems to me that the celebrity women give you quite a lot of autonomy over their child and you do seem to spend more time in the first few months with them than their mother.

I don't know if I would be comfortable to do this as a mother even if I was rich and I would probably become jealous.

Although a night nanny would be fab 😊

babycryingandcrying · 07/04/2022 10:14

I also think you're underpaid. Having a good nanny is priceless and your job is very hard and physically challenging, especially considering you have to be on 24 hour standby a lot of the days.

If you have very rich clients, they could certainly afford to pay you more. I know I would considering how much time you spend with the children.