I loathe children, and being a mum AMA

[Daughterofanarc11]

This isn't your usual post natal depression manifesting as intense negative feelings . I have been a mother now for two decades and not one day goes by where i don't regret that fact.
I know am very much diff in my thinking to most women and anticipate some difficult opinions ( but hopefully just an open and honest dialogue).

@Supersimkin2

Why is it always people with lots of kids who regret their own choices long term?

I don’t know anyone with 1 or 2 who loathed parenting permanently.

Lots of my friends say they regret having children and most of them only have 2.

They all have grown up children and quite a few have grandchildren (some have great grandchildren)

@Comedycook

Weirdly the older my DC get, the harder I find it. I didn't mind so much when they were little. They're 11/13 now...they stay up quite late so I have less childfree time in the evenings. They are often full of attitude and rudeness. They still demand my attention and request things from me constantly. I am also older and more tired than I was in my twenties when I had them.

Yes I can also identify with this. I look back fondly on the baby/toddler years, it seems such a simple phase of parenthood compared to preteen backchat and friendship issues and wanting to stay up late and expensive hobbies etc! I'm sick of the sound of my own nagging voice, it's not who I am

I really admire how open (to yourself) you can be with your feelings. I can't say I share your feelings 100% but I do understand them and at times share them. I think motherhood is portrayed like a never ending dream, in a pink haze and happiness etc.

Well, that's false advertisement!

There's so much stigma over this.

No wonder op disappeared. No one believes you if you say you regret them. Or it's just put down to the drudge work.

There are plenty of MN posters who will tell stories of their own mother's being disinterested in them. This happens in every generation.

All of mine were planned and desperately wanted. But I was young and stupid with the first two and just didn't have the full picture of how it would really be.

I wanted to start again and get it right with the third. All was good for the first few years.

Now 2 of my DC's are physically and emotionally abusive to me. I'm NC with eldest. 2 say they don't love me. One is in different and if DP and I split they would choose to stay with DP and would probably not seek contact with me.

Parenting has been a disaster for me. Partially due to autism I think.

I did everything I could to give them the best childhoods. I honestly don't know where it all went wrong. I just wanted to love and be loved but now I'm just as alone as I was before.

If I could have just been a dad it would all be very different.