Ex-Mormon /Latter-day saint (LDS) AMA

[Someonesayroadtrip]

I was born into the pretty much Mormon faith (parents converted when I was tiny) and I was fully converted and fully believed. Myself and family had "leadership" positions etc. Feel free to ask me anything.

When and why did you leave?

Are you parents still members?

Have you seen the South Park episode about Joseph Smith?

Is it straightforward to leave?

Have you watched any videos on YouTube by Jimmy Snow his YouTube show is Dear Mr Atheist? He's also ex Mormon. His family are all still Mormon. You might like to hear his story.

Were you heavily pressured to stay at why did you choose to leave. I worked with the exclusive brethren so interested to know.

What’s the difference between LDS and Christians?

@HoneysuckIejasmine

When and why did you leave?

Are you parents still members?

Have you seen the South Park episode about Joseph Smith?

I left around 4 years ago, I would like to say I discovered the truth about my religion but truth is the leader of the unit I attended lied about something involving me and I when I called him out on it he made my life hell, like telling people I had an affair, that I was a pathological liar, that I had severe mental health issues. Etc. The higher I took it they more I realised that they all just protect each other, it was messy and it was clear there as no God in any of it.

I had read information about the faith when I was in it but I had every excuse under the sun about it, now I can see how brainwashed I was, I would have accepted anything that I was told.

My parents are still active, although not as active as they once were because they were dragged into the whole mess too. My husband and I with our children left. My husbands family are still active.

I have seen it, but only since I left. It's sums it it up well. The fact is most members don't know the facts about their religion. They are told to search but only Mormon approved information as everything else is anti Mormon.

@AHintOfStyle

Is it straightforward to leave?

The actual physically leaving is easy enough, but it's difficult as in your whole life is associated with it. It's a really difficult situation when you chose to leave as you have to rebuild your life. All my friends and my husbands friends were members. It was a big adjustment to leave. However, there isn't any particular barriers to leaving. Our names remain on the records, just as I can't be bothered to remove them and I think it's all nonsense so makes no difference to me.

@6PEOPLEONLY

Have you watched any videos on YouTube by Jimmy Snow his YouTube show is Dear Mr Atheist? He's also ex Mormon. His family are all still Mormon. You might like to hear his story.

No, but I'll look him up. I enjoy listening to things like that, thank you.

@MusicTeacherSussex

Were you heavily pressured to stay at why did you choose to leave. I worked with the exclusive brethren so interested to know.

No, not really. I think members, least here, are so exhausted with everything demanded of them they aren't too bothered. I have kept friendships with some people, it's not the same of course, and they never bring it up. I think they are fearful of what I would say, members worry that it might rub off on them 😂

Did you go on a mission?

I was once on an intercity coach in Ireland and a bunch of US Mormon youth on their ‘mission’ were also travelling. One late teenage girl came to sit next to me, having been sent by her group at the back of the bus as a proselytising opportunity. She had never previously left Utah, had just arrived in Europe and was sweet, very young, and — not even brainwashed is the right expression, she had simply never before had a conversation with someone outside her faith, let alone a foreign atheist. It was a fascinating half hour in that it was like educating someone who had been kept in a cave TIL” the age of eighteen, but when she started to ask me genuine questions of her own, she was promptly retrieved by an older man.

My question is — what do UK Mormons think of Utah Mormons? Surely it wasn’t possible for UK Mormon young to be kept in anywhere near that much of a bubble?

@Bookaholic73

What’s the difference between LDS and Christians?

The LDS church define themselves as Christians, and argue that means followers of christ, they very much push that and are currently going through a facelift in an attempt to ditch the Mormon name and be known as Te church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints. It's a bit of a mouthful.

The main difference is Mormons don't believe in the trilogy, they believe that God the father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost/spirit are three separate beings. One in purpose but three distinct beings.

They also have additional books of "scripture" which among other things is meant to document the origins of Central America and Christ's visits to them.

They believe that while God is God, there are other Gods people have the ability to become Gods themselves.

So there are some differences between them. But a Mormon would argue they are Christians because they are followers of Christ.

@oceanbreezy

Did you go on a mission?

No, my husband did, but I didn't. Women are not as encouraged to service missions as men are. I married young-ish though, 23. I went to university and then got married and had 4 children like a good little Mormon.

I live near a church (not sure if that’s the right word?) and find the young American students charming but so naive. Do they all survive the mission thing? I can imagine it’s very tough and they must get abuse at times.

@GoatWardrobe

I was once on an intercity coach in Ireland and a bunch of US Mormon youth on their ‘mission’ were also travelling. One late teenage girl came to sit next to me, having been sent by her group at the back of the bus as a proselytising opportunity. She had never previously left Utah, had just arrived in Europe and was sweet, very young, and — not even brainwashed is the right expression, she had simply never before had a conversation with someone outside her faith, let alone a foreign atheist. It was a fascinating half hour in that it was like educating someone who had been kept in a cave TIL” the age of eighteen, but when she started to ask me genuine questions of her own, she was promptly retrieved by an older man.

My question is — what do UK Mormons think of Utah Mormons? Surely it wasn’t possible for UK Mormon young to be kept in anywhere near that much of a bubble?

Yes there is definitely a Utah bubble. I guess a lot are annoyed but some of the naively, it's fascinating really that there is an entire state that is so entrenched that it influences everything. As in a lot of restaurants don't sell alcohol. There are jobs that advertise for "worthy" LDS members only and people who leave talk about how difficult i is because they have to leave their jobs etc.

It's sad really. Outside of Utah you can still see that sometimes. Some people are very sheltered, there is a lot of talk of being "in the world but not of the world" and taking pride in being a "Peculiar people".

Do you still have any faith at all? How old were your children when you left and how hard did you all find it to adjust to the 'real world?

@museumum

I live near a church (not sure if that’s the right word?) and find the young American students charming but so naive. Do they all survive the mission thing? I can imagine it’s very tough and they must get abuse at times.

Yes, it's difficult for them. Back when my husband went on one (2000 ish) it was pretty rare for missionaries to go home early, it happened but it wasn't common. Now it's much more common. Missionaries greatly struggle and are allowed privileges like a phone and to speak to home, which wasn't allowed Previously.

They have very strict routines too which works for some but definitely not for others. It's all self funded too.

As you imagine the church doesn't really do well proselytising in countries like the UK.

Would Mormons have tattoos? I know of someone in the US who was brought up Mormon and now has tattoos and was living with her now husband before marriage. We're not friends (we met once when she was a lot younger) but I've seen her photos through a friend's social media and she's sporting at least 2 tattoos so I wasn't sure if she would still be LDS. Is that frowned upon? She lives in a big city and works in the entertainment industry so maybe not as sheltered/devout as some but I was still surprised at the tats.

@TheFormerPorpentinaScamander

Do you still have any faith at all? How old were your children when you left and how hard did you all find it to adjust to the 'real world?

No, I don't have any faith now.

My children are now 10, 8, 8, and 6, so 6, 4,4 and 2 I guess. They are heavily influenced by my parents, they can still pray and do at my parents house. School teaches about God, so they have that influence too. They know I don't believe and I see that influence but I try and not push anything onto them. So I just give them options if they ask anything, as in what happens when you die. And I give them different options.

It was hard, although we are so much happier as a family now than we ever were as part of it. My husband still hasn't really made new friends outside of the religion but the chicken and I have.

It's interesting trying to know what to do and say still sometimes. As in, alcohol, sex, homosexuality, what do non Mormon families teach their children and when do they start teaching them. Plus what is normal? Still don't drink alcohol but my husband does and it's hard to know what is a normal amount. So a big learning experience.

I'm glad to hear you forged your own path and I think you and your family will have a much richer life thanks for opening up to us.

@FingersXrossed

Would Mormons have tattoos? I know of someone in the US who was brought up Mormon and now has tattoos and was living with her now husband before marriage. We're not friends (we met once when she was a lot younger) but I've seen her photos through a friend's social media and she's sporting at least 2 tattoos so I wasn't sure if she would still be LDS. Is that frowned upon? She lives in a big city and works in the entertainment industry so maybe not as sheltered/devout as some but I was still surprised at the tats.

It would be frowned upon but she could still be a member. It's a sort of suggestion rather than a commandment but a lot of Mormons would really frown upon it. There is a someone who dubbed herself the tattooed Mormon, she is very much a active and full believing member and she has a lot of fame for it, but she frequently talks about how difficult it is and that she is actually Sent hate mail and death threats because of her tattoos.

I would say most Mormons are much more tolerant of tattoos now, but equally on Mormon forums if someone would ask about getting one there is probably a 50-50 divide between more liberal Mormons who ether have tats themselves, see no issues with it or just feel people are free to do what they like and then those who very strongly feel they are breaking Gods commandments and will not get into the celestial kingdom (Mormons have different levels of heavens).

@MusicTeacherSussex

I'm glad to hear you forged your own path and I think you and your family will have a much richer life thanks for opening up to us.

No problem. We are much happier and healthier for it. While it's been strange to have to think about decisions it's nice we have that, the choice, rather than be fed information and told what to do and think. Which I never thought I was, but now realise I very much was.

Thanks for answering my question, much appreciated!

Do Mormons drink tea, coffee or alcohol?

Is divorce permitted?

Thank you for answering. I have faith, although just common or garden Christian . I've always bought my dc up with options too. So they know that I believe xyz, but they don't have to.

Regarding everything else, I've always answered when they asked in an age appropriate way. So when ds1 asked, age 4 "where do babies come from? I know its got something to do with my willy and balls" I answered in a basic way. As they've got older I went into more detail. There's no right or wrong as to what and when you tell them. My teens have seen me drunk and hungover. Some people think thats wrong, but it works for us. They know that some people think homosexuality is wrong, but we don't etc etc. Parenting is a minefield!