Ex-Mormon /Latter-day saint (LDS) AMA

[Someonesayroadtrip]

I was born into the pretty much Mormon faith (parents converted when I was tiny) and I was fully converted and fully believed. Myself and family had "leadership" positions etc. Feel free to ask me anything.

Fellow Mormon here . I was born and Raised in the church , I left when I was 18 much to my mothers annoyance. I still have faith in god and believe in the bible but as a whole I feel the Mormon church just had something not right about it. It has set me up for a life of feeling guilty at lots of choices I’ve made and I can’t shake off the eternal outer darkness doom and gloom thoughts.
You obviously know more about the church teachings than me as I didn’t pay close attention or have callings.
So op how did you put the scary thoughts behind you and get on with your life and find peace ?

@AnnieOH1

I've refrained from commenting further but as I see OP hasn't watched Big Love, I thought I'd chime in.

The off compound stuff in the earliest seasons of Big Love is fairly accurate, as are the temple scenes. The stuff with the compound is definitely not accurate to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints whose wards you'll see in your towns and cities, and whose missionaries you'll encounter at your doorstep. Some of the stuff when Bill creates a church for Barb is very heavily influenced by the practices of the LDS church but isn't accurate. HTH.

Hi @AnnieOH1 ... anyone is welcome to chime in, past or present members. Take it you're a current member. Hi.

@Packlunchhell

Fellow Mormon here . I was born and Raised in the church , I left when I was 18 much to my mothers annoyance. I still have faith in god and believe in the bible but as a whole I feel the Mormon church just had something not right about it. It has set me up for a life of feeling guilty at lots of choices I’ve made and I can’t shake off the eternal outer darkness doom and gloom thoughts. You obviously know more about the church teachings than me as I didn’t pay close attention or have callings. So op how did you put the scary thoughts behind you and get on with your life and find peace ?

Hi and welcome, for me it was harder when I was still in the religion. I had a bit of an untraditional departure.

I guess for a long time I decided I was happy to face God having left because what I went through was hell, frankly there were times when I considered taking my own life because I just couldn't deal with the situation. The church was saying one thing and my own experience and evidence I had was quite a different story. The church ignored my evidence and refused to look at messages and audio recordings of the things that were said and done during that time.

So I felt that I had to leave for the sake of my health and my family and I had fasted for days, prayed and studied constantly and felt forsaken. It was a dark time but the only way I felt like I could get through that was to walk away and "leave it in Gods hands".

I guess once I stepped away, I decided quite quickly that I didn't believe in any God, which probably makes it easier than still believing.

I had considered myself well Researched before, my callings of adult Sunday school and seminary teacher meant I did a lot of reading around subjects and felt very sure that people who left had been led astray but small things came to play and I realised that information changed or wasn't given quite honesty.

As Time went in I ended up down the rabbit hole of information. My husband and I decided we would use just church approved material but even doing that there were so many discrepancies. He had still believed but had decided it was a toxic environment so didn't want to go back, but still had some faith I guess.

I guess once we both ended up down that rabbit hole there was no coming back. I had never understood why when people leave they are angry at the church but when it's all laid out for you and the mountain of evidence is undeniable it's hard not to be mad. Mad for being lied to.

It's an interesting situation because members feel bad for me as they feel I have been led astray and offended and I feel bad for them in a religion where they don't see what's right in front of them.

I simply isn't believe in outer darkness, so that's why I'm at peace with it. I don't have any faith in any God, and definitely not the Mormon one. One tiny example, When you know for example the book of Abraham was completely made up, that the scrolls were not what Jospeh said they were and that even the church officially acknowledges that, then any concepts of the plan of salvation go down the drain.

You can take apart aspects like, what was so wrong with lucifers plan anyway? He wanted to force people to do the right things. And not have free will right? Then in the garden he just wanted them to have knowledge and be able to have free will which is what God said they showing do? Hmmm ... but then it was all part of Gods plan wasn't it? So basically God already decided to use Lucifer from the Being to be the devil and be cast out and play this big role. He used and manipulated lucifer.

Another personal and potentially insensitive question here.

Did anyone suggest your children wouldn't have additional needs in heaven? And if so how did you/DH/DC feel about that?

I'm asking as I've heard from LDS acquaintance that any disability or health condition would be eliminated in heaven, including ASC. I personally felt very uncomfortable about it. For many people ASC (and other conditions) is part of their identity, they may not want to 'lose' and some neurodiverse people reject the disability label. I know we're edging into disability politics here, which is a bit off topic.

I suppose I was wondering whether that was a personal interpretation or official doctrine or if you'd come across it.

@PlumpkinPete

Another personal and potentially insensitive question here.

Did anyone suggest your children wouldn't have additional needs in heaven? And if so how did you/DH/DC feel about that?

I'm asking as I've heard from LDS acquaintance that any disability or health condition would be eliminated in heaven, including ASC. I personally felt very uncomfortable about it. For many people ASC (and other conditions) is part of their identity, they may not want to 'lose' and some neurodiverse people reject the disability label. I know we're edging into disability politics here, which is a bit off topic.

I suppose I was wondering whether that was a personal interpretation or official doctrine or if you'd come across it.

Really interesting questions. I guess the short answer is yes, that's what I believed.

There are all sorts of things that's people say and believe in the Mormon faith that isn't strictly "doctrine", so a big one with children (and adults) who have profound disabilities is that they assorted Saturn out of heaven in the pre existence and that they now have disabilities because they were so valiant in the pre existence that they were protected from Satan by having disabilities. The main purpose of life on earth, other than being tested is to gain a body.

When I attended church my children's behaviour was always a bone of contention. My eldest in particular really struggled with sensory issues while young and wasn't welcome in primary.we just had a difficult time and children are supposed to be seen and not heard and I think it actually made me a bad mother and made things so much worse for him and I. We have very challenging behaviour and I was more than once encouraged by professionals to not take him to church as it's just accelerated the negative cycle. School he was the naughty boy and then church we was the disruptive one that they didn't want in Primary. And it made significant impacts on his and my self esteem. So the idea that his difficulties be taken away was a dream come true.

The reality was after I distanced from it and stopped having this expectation (in my mind at least) that I have this bunch of children who are meek and mild and left both the school (which was the biggest factor) and the church, we saw dramatic improvements in his behaviour. He does have a lot of support at school (full time one to one) but he doesn't have any issues with behaviour. From being excluded daily to 2 fights in 4 years and one was someone else after he defended another child being picked on. He's caught up with his peers now and doing really well, he's happy and really polite (although cheeky sometimes).

I think years and years of forcing him to repress everything, I mean he's really sensitive to sound and hates singing and Church has lots of sing and he would scream and people would tut and I would take him out frustrated that he wouldn't just sit and be like everyone else there. So the idea he would be made "perfect" was appealing.

Now, I recognise he is absolutely perfect the way he is, he has different strengths and abilities to NT people, we accept him and all of them as they are. I am now ashamed of a lot actually but yes specifically that I would have wanted to take away him rather than work and help him.

Our other son with ASD is a lot more "severe" in that he has more profound learning disabilities, he would have say quietly for us as long as he has a sheep and a blanket over his head (not much has changed ) so people accepted that a lot more and I never felt quite the shame I did with my eldest son. Which is a horrific thing to say I realise.

On the other side of the coin I see families with children who ages profound disabilities almost wear it as a badge of honour and say things like God knew they would be the best parents and that they were chosen for this choice spirit as they will achieve exhalation (highest degree of Mormonism/god status).

A lot of those issues were my own, my own expectations of what my children should behave like so I can't really blame the religion on that, I think it made that situation worse though. Because others felt the need to tell me what to do, I was more than once that I should physically punish my child. As I say, a lot is just Mormon culture rather than Mormon doctrine but it's such a wide spread issue that it's hard to unpick one or the other.

My children are very different from who they were at church, none of them are perfect in anyway but they receive absolutely glowing reports at school, they are happy and polite, they care about others and are gaining confidence. I get comments everywhere that they are lovely children, they drive me insane daily and they obviously have significant challenges but leaving the church was the best thing ever for us as a family and they are much happier children.

I apologise for the length of that post as well as the spelling and grammar mistakes.

It was a really reflective question and the children kept distracting me while I was writing it so it doesn't flow and there are lots of errors. Hope it makes sense.

Thank you for answering these questions so honestly. You sound like a great mum btw.

This is such an interesting thread. Thank you OP
I'm not sure if you can answer this but do you think your loss of faith and leaving the church is any different to any other Christian from another denomination doing the same?

On the surface many of the rituals and hierarchies you describe such as garments, converting the dead, subservience of women, symbols etc seem very unusual but when you look at most other "mainstream" churches they have bizarre looking rituals too. For example, many people wear a special gown for full immersion baptism. The Catholic and high Anglican churches have lots of incense and believe in trans-substantiation, which is very puzzling to outsiders. Catholics also believe in purgatory and the power of relative's prayers and special masses to help their dead relatives out of purgatory. Very few churches have a great record on the place of women either though some are doing better than others. I suppose what I am saying is that the customs and rituals of the LDS church are really no stranger than any other church if you were to step back and look in as an outsider.
Very interesting thread

@Mags5Bia

Thank you for answering these questions so honestly. You sound like a great mum btw.

Thank you, I'm definitely a much better mum than I was previously as I wanted these children who fitted the mould whereas now I celebrate them for who they are and what to be.

@sluj

This is such an interesting thread. Thank you OP I'm not sure if you can answer this but do you think your loss of faith and leaving the church is any different to any other Christian from another denomination doing the same?

On the surface many of the rituals and hierarchies you describe such as garments, converting the dead, subservience of women, symbols etc seem very unusual but when you look at most other "mainstream" churches they have bizarre looking rituals too. For example, many people wear a special gown for full immersion baptism. The Catholic and high Anglican churches have lots of incense and believe in trans-substantiation, which is very puzzling to outsiders. Catholics also believe in purgatory and the power of relative's prayers and special masses to help their dead relatives out of purgatory. Very few churches have a great record on the place of women either though some are doing better than others. I suppose what I am saying is that the customs and rituals of the LDS church are really no stranger than any other church if you were to step back and look in as an outsider.
Very interesting thread

Hi, I think religions all have major similarities between them, more than they maybe what to admit. For example Mormons also do full immersion and you have to wear all white (and then the same for those being baptised by proxy for the dead).

I wrote it this not thinking Mormonism is unique but I think it has some unique and interesting aspects to it that people may be curious about.

I think most religions use similar ways to convert and retain members. Although I think some religions do that to the extreme, Mormons and Jehovah's witness's have a very cult like feel where everything is so devoted to the religion and it creates an unquestioning faith that makes it further dangerous. You obviously do see that in other religions. Abuse is rife in religions where there is that unquestioning loyal and devotion to leaders.

A child in my ward was sexually abused by another member, with hindsight there were warning flags but the faith creates a false sense of security.

But yes, there are major parallels between all religions. I think when you look at the restrictions and what is asked of members from Mormonism though it's pretty extreme and shows the level of control they have on you. There is no half in approach.

It's a "modern" religion too, which is a major difference, it uses the bible as it wants but has additional books of scripture and the wealth of the religion is another factor, they are very resistant to disclose any financial information but we know they have investments of around 150 billion. That's a bloody wealthy church considering it's tiny membership , which they claim to be around 15 million members but it's likely around a 1/3 of that of active members based on the number of wards they have and non Mormon statistical data.

Thank you OP, great thread. There was a Scottish mormon family who featured on a channel 4 documentary for large families several years ago. I recently read they have left mormonism and now own a coffee shop. Have you heard of them?

@zatarontoast

Thank you OP, great thread. There was a Scottish mormon family who featured on a channel 4 documentary for large families several years ago. I recently read they have left mormonism and now own a coffee shop. Have you heard of them?

Was it a big family from Dundee? If so then yes I know them. My husband is Scottish and I'm welsh. It tends to be a small world in the Mormon world.

The family from Dundee are still described in even press as recent as August 2020 as a "Mormon" family despite the mom and one of the daughters working in a cafe.

@Someonesayroadtrip I'm technically a convert (joined at 18) former former exmo. Well I described myself during a particular period as an exmo although I wasn't excommunicated nor did I remove my records. As you rightly guessed though, yes I am an active member of the Church.

@AnnieOH1

The family from Dundee are still described in even press as recent as August 2020 as a "Mormon" family despite the mom and one of the daughters working in a cafe.

@Someonesayroadtrip I'm technically a convert (joined at 18) former former exmo. Well I described myself during a particular period as an exmo although I wasn't excommunicated nor did I remove my records. As you rightly guessed though, yes I am an active member of the Church.

If it's the family with a surname being with K, I think from what I see on Facebook that not all the children are active, least specially one I'm sure isn't but parents seem to be.

Feel free to weigh in on things. I can only comment from my own perspective and experience but I think those asking may appreciate an active members perspective.

Like I've mentioned a couple of times, my experience leaving is not a common one, and I know I would still be an active faithful member if a series of events haven't happened to me the way they did. For me now, I guess I'm grateful for want of a better word, because I see a whole new perspective now.

If your in the Dundee stake I must say I absolutely love the SP there. He's a good one. He DJed my wedding reception. 😃

@Someonesayroadtrip - oh, perhaps there's more than one family? The one I'm talking about being with H, they've got a regular blog and are something of a Scottish media personality as far as the press go.

Sadly I'm south of the border in England, although I do have friends across the UK - as you rightly say it can be a small community at times!

Honestly I don't want to tread on anyone's toes. This is your thread after all. =) I am sorry that you've been through such a tough time, sadly I have heard and seen similar stories especially with regards to children who are not neuro-typical or physically disabled. I will say I know more (on a personal level) of acceptance and love than the ones that have experienced what you have, but it's the ones that have had the bad experiences that stick in my mind.

I think the only two points I would add to your comments are in relation to the idea of no disabilities in the next life. Whether this is a change in overall rhetoric or just based on my local experiences I don't know, but certainly I've heard more than once it be said that some of these conditions are a gift of the spirit (not in the sense of they're perfect and have an automatic key to the CK either, beyond that, that their unique gifts can be exactly that).

The other point I would make is that relating to the Air Force pilot who sadly lost his life. I won't name the family here because that would not be fair. They're tangentially in my circle. It is true that they have been sealed for time and all eternity, I don't know whether this was because they had already got a sealing date or if she's received dispensation or what the case is. It may have changed when the whole "wait a year after legal marriage" thing was done away with for the US saints.

As a couple prior to their sealing they were only married for this life, the whole "till death do us part" thing. From an LDS perspective we believe that marriage and family is an eternal construct, that we may be sealed to our loved ones and bound together throughout all time to come. If they had not been married legally in this life they would not have been able to be sealed together. I won't go into great detail as that wouldn't be fair and it is not something I take lightly. I imagine that some will hear the idea of a proxy groom and think "eeeew" because one assumes there'll be a kiss and all the romanticism that usually (hopefully?) surrounds a wedding day. A temple sealing is so very different. It is a religious ceremony whereby the couple make vows and covenants not only with each other but with their God. In this particular situation this couple wanted that for themselves, and whether rightly or wrongly, it will be of great comfort to the spouse left behind that their marriage vows continue after the death of their loved one.

There is a great surety within LDS doctrine of life after death, and life in the world to come. It is intrinsically tied up in the idea of eternal families. Spouses, children, parents. Sealed together for time and all eternity inside one of the holiest places on earth. The doctrine is very didactic. There's no opportunity for "oh well we don't know that" or "we think this is maybe what will happen" or "we don't know so we don't talk about it/surmise upon it". The way someone who is LDS views life and death is very different to how many do inside and outside of other faiths (whether organised or not).

Why are so many bloggers mormon!? Is it considered a good way of spreading the word

One blogger I saw got remarried about 6 weeks after being widowed, would that be considered normal or to be encouraged? I think she was sealed to the first husband but I'm not too sure what that means?

[quote AnnieOH1]@Someonesayroadtrip - oh, perhaps there's more than one family? The one I'm talking about being with H, they've got a regular blog and are something of a Scottish media personality as far as the press go.

Sadly I'm south of the border in England, although I do have friends across the UK - as you rightly say it can be a small community at times!

Honestly I don't want to tread on anyone's toes. This is your thread after all. =) I am sorry that you've been through such a tough time, sadly I have heard and seen similar stories especially with regards to children who are not neuro-typical or physically disabled. I will say I know more (on a personal level) of acceptance and love than the ones that have experienced what you have, but it's the ones that have had the bad experiences that stick in my mind.

I think the only two points I would add to your comments are in relation to the idea of no disabilities in the next life. Whether this is a change in overall rhetoric or just based on my local experiences I don't know, but certainly I've heard more than once it be said that some of these conditions are a gift of the spirit (not in the sense of they're perfect and have an automatic key to the CK either, beyond that, that their unique gifts can be exactly that).

The other point I would make is that relating to the Air Force pilot who sadly lost his life. I won't name the family here because that would not be fair. They're tangentially in my circle. It is true that they have been sealed for time and all eternity, I don't know whether this was because they had already got a sealing date or if she's received dispensation or what the case is. It may have changed when the whole "wait a year after legal marriage" thing was done away with for the US saints.

As a couple prior to their sealing they were only married for this life, the whole "till death do us part" thing. From an LDS perspective we believe that marriage and family is an eternal construct, that we may be sealed to our loved ones and bound together throughout all time to come. If they had not been married legally in this life they would not have been able to be sealed together. I won't go into great detail as that wouldn't be fair and it is not something I take lightly. I imagine that some will hear the idea of a proxy groom and think "eeeew" because one assumes there'll be a kiss and all the romanticism that usually (hopefully?) surrounds a wedding day. A temple sealing is so very different. It is a religious ceremony whereby the couple make vows and covenants not only with each other but with their God. In this particular situation this couple wanted that for themselves, and whether rightly or wrongly, it will be of great comfort to the spouse left behind that their marriage vows continue after the death of their loved one.

There is a great surety within LDS doctrine of life after death, and life in the world to come. It is intrinsically tied up in the idea of eternal families. Spouses, children, parents. Sealed together for time and all eternity inside one of the holiest places on earth. The doctrine is very didactic. There's no opportunity for "oh well we don't know that" or "we think this is maybe what will happen" or "we don't know so we don't talk about it/surmise upon it". The way someone who is LDS views life and death is very different to how many do inside and outside of other faiths (whether organised or not).[/quote]
Thanks so much for adding your perspective.

Sorry to hear the military wife was someone you know. Their story makes me think of the film Charly. I imagine that brought her peace in a awful time.

@Parkandride

Why are so many bloggers mormon!? Is it considered a good way of spreading the word

One blogger I saw got remarried about 6 weeks after being widowed, would that be considered normal or to be encouraged? I think she was sealed to the first husband but I'm not too sure what that means?

Yes, I think it's quite a common thing. It's again not a Mormon gospel thing and not really culture either but because women tend to be home a lot more I guess they have time for things like blogging and it's a way of possibly earning more money on the side while still focusing on their role as mothers and home makers.

I guess also secondary to that women do have skills, women are encouraged to be educated and share talents.

I would also say there is a large amount or what I call falseness but I guess they would say it's putting a smile on horn face. That expectation to always be positive and happy. There are talks and songs about putting a smile on your face until you feel it and even speak your testimony until you believe it.

I think, and that's definitely not unique to Mormons, but that sort of positive attitude works well for blogging, people like positive people. So I think that translates well for blogging.

Thank you for answering so honestly. What you said makes a lot of sense.

A lot of what you wrote feels very uncomfortable to me, but I think you're right that it's part of pressures on parents and the way society views people with additional needs more widely, focused through a religious lens (rather than being something that only happens in church).

Part of what I mean when I say uncomfortable, is I feel sad that you and your children were in that situation and feeling that judgement and lack of support and the church system seemed to intensify that instead of bringing comfort.

I'm glad things are better for you and your DC now and agree with PP, you seem like a hugely loving mum.

@PlumpkinPete

Thank you for answering so honestly. What you said makes a lot of sense.

A lot of what you wrote feels very uncomfortable to me, but I think you're right that it's part of pressures on parents and the way society views people with additional needs more widely, focused through a religious lens (rather than being something that only happens in church).

Part of what I mean when I say uncomfortable, is I feel sad that you and your children were in that situation and feeling that judgement and lack of support and the church system seemed to intensify that instead of bringing comfort.

I'm glad things are better for you and your DC now and agree with PP, you seem like a hugely loving mum.

Thank you, I think I worried far too much what other people thought of me and me as a mum before, rather than worry what the children thought of me as a mum. I'm far from perfect and I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm definitely better now than I was.

I think for me there was a lot of pressure to help everyone and serve and this idea that you would get blessings for it. However I definitely has some difficult times when my husband was being asked to serve and be out most nights of the week and most of the day Sunday and activities on top of that. When I had my three under two stage it was so difficult. I did expect that people would help me out but no one came near. I was being asked to be things that were just not possible and the I felt guilty as there are a lot of talks and lessons on going that extra mile and what it means to others and that extra effort is what gets you you blessings. Testing yourself. But I always felt at breaking point and it is hard.

I got through it though. I went back to serving and supporting my husband to serve. I did all I was expected to do.

People would say my children has additional needs so they couldn't spare extra people to work with him, interestingly a lot of people in the primary for a while were teachers who either worked at a school for significant disabilities or had children or relatives themselves,which I always thought was interesting as you would think they would "get it" more, but they didn't.

There is a lot of talks and comments about this life being hard but worth it, but I'm all honesty the church made things way harder than life needed to be. The church says people leave as they want to sin 😂 the reality is I still haven't sinned, I still don't drink alcohol or even tea and coffee. I paid my tithing for years after I stopped attending 😂. What makes like easier and happier is not having expectations to be pushing yourself to breaking point all the time and that if it's not hard your not doing it right kind of thing.

There is the idea that time is running out all the time. Of course they have been saying that for 200 years but any event that happens it's the signs of the times and the Lords arrival isn't long away, so you not only push yourself but nay "wasted them" watching tv or playing games, basically anything that isn't helping to build the kingdom of God makes you feel guilty. In fairness, my husband and I are probably the type of people who take things more seriously like that than most. By that, I mean, this who lockdown and still now, we keep to the rules and more, we play things very safe, my husband probably more than me. The children haven't been to a park this year because there are surfaces that the virus can live on, we do have a garden with swings, a massive climbing frame, hot tub, playhouses, grass etc so they haven't missed out but we tend to do as we are told, which clearly makes us good candidates for this type of religion. I mean I feel well read, I understand what the risks are, I understand what they are saying about the virus. My first degree was in nursing, I don't FEEL like I am blindly following advice and I certainly don't agree with the government handling of a lot of the issues, but perhaps I am just the type of person who conforms. No one thinks they are, I certainly don't think I would be a good Milbrun's shock experiment participant, but we never really know do we?

I feel a better mum and person without the religion.

Really interesting post, thank you. Do you miss the community feeling you had?

@JuiceyBetty

Really interesting post, thank you. Do you miss the community feeling you had?

Sort of. I think mostly it's a bunch of people who you probably wouldn't normally socialise with or be great friends with thrown together and it's not always the easiest. Plus there is a lot of judgement and faking it in some areas. Obviously even those I thought cared about me didn't, that was a bitter pill to swallow.

So I was really surprised to find friends I clicked with when I left. Who are much more friends than many I had back there.

However, yes, I mean I was pretty much born into it, so you know people and they know you, it's nice and it feel safe. There is history there. There used to be a lot going on all the time too. I remember being in my very early 20s (before I got married at 23) and I had opportunity to do something every night of the week and often did. I wish I had half that energy now, because it as full time nursing degree, often working full time and writing essays, I was working in care jobs and I was out until the really hours. I drove all around the country to dances and events. It's was great. But there are a lot less young people these days and they don't really do those same activities anymore.

There always feels like safety in others you know are members, I don't think that's the reality which is the dangerous thing but I suppose that applies to many things.

Most people seek out a sense of belonging though, and I guess that's was by far the hardest loss of this whole thing, but even when I was in the heart of it I never felt properly in it, it's very cliquey and always had a group I belonged to, but it was very much broken up in little groups of people rather than a community.

@Someonesayroadtrip my question is, have you aware of or have you read the CES Letter? read.cesletter.org

[quote PixelatedLunchbox]@Someonesayroadtrip my question is, have you aware of or have you read the CES Letter? read.cesletter.org[/quote]
Yes, I was aware of it when I was a member, I rebuffed most of it and then stopped reading. There are other sources of information out there too like that but the CES letter is the one most cited.

I have since done a lot of research and it's shocking how much I defended and justified even when things were obvious and in front of me. There own sources calls into questions a lot of things, but again I found ways of defending things.

I guess that is why it's so hard for some people at least for us, because I feel I was so blinded I would have literally died for the religion, it's now so shocking I believed like I did, there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary, like you can rip apart every bit of the religion yet somehow I didn't see it.

There is another letter like the CES letter which is called, letter to my wife, it's very well done and researched. I spent hours double checking sources and it's very accurate.

Thanks @someonesayroadtrip
Best wishes in your continued journey into freedom.