Ex-Mormon /Latter-day saint (LDS) AMA

[Someonesayroadtrip]

I was born into the pretty much Mormon faith (parents converted when I was tiny) and I was fully converted and fully believed. Myself and family had "leadership" positions etc. Feel free to ask me anything.

@veeeeh

There is a YouTube channel called "Knorpp and South", about a Mormon family who have four bio kids, four adopted from China, two with disabilities. I watch it for their adventures and how they live. Mormonism is not what the channel is about although they are very committed to their religion.

They seem to have plenty of money although neither of them appear to have a "proper" job other than vlogging and bits and pieces. But who knows? Fascinating stuff.

Yes, I'm fascinated by a lot of Mormons who seem to have plenty of money yet never seem to work or are constantly students. Not in the UK, but in America. I think lots generate a lot of money from blogging. Mormons follow Mormons so they have a large following instantly usually, especially in America.

Given they give 10% of their income to the church it's bizarre how so many have money without "regular" jobs. Don't know, I'm not sure if like my life so on display though, but then I'm a lot more a person to speak my mind and always have been.

Someonesayroadtrip

Thanks. I am baffled by this family's ability to travel the world, buy a humungous RV, buy a house, etc. and they are quite cagey about how they can do this lol. At one time they were in MLM with some diffusers or something, but that seems to have gone now.

Look I am not singling them out, it is just the first time I saw Mormons in the flesh lol. And they have two kids on missions too, and according to what you and others have said, this is largely funded by the families.

Oh, and Home Schooling is a thing for sure, no going to public/state school with these people! They were in Utah, but now in North Carolina.

Each to their own, and as others have said, many religions have rituals and an anti female bias. But how do these people raise 8 kids and do all they do without identifiable jobs.

I am enjoying the thread, thanks for starting it. Fascinating.

Yeah I've never figured it out.

I always think each to their own, but I'm also shocked at what I believed and what I would have been willing to do for the religion. I still have Mormon friends, they are good people, but I feel sorry for them... equally they feel sorry for me as they think I am lost and deceived by the world. 😆

It's been a year if anyone has any other questions! 🙂

Assuming this is still the same OP!

Random thing I've wondered. Do you think the push to move away from the name Mormons has anything to do with the popularity of the musical Book of Mormon?

@BeckonCall

Assuming this is still the same OP!

Random thing I've wondered. Do you think the push to move away from the name Mormons has anything to do with the popularity of the musical Book of Mormon?

Yep name change. Which I guess two months into 2022 I should change again. 😂

Yes I think in part that. But the current prophet; Nelson had always had a bee in his bonnet about the name. The previous two rolled with it and jumped on the success of the musical to run a "meet the Mormons" campaign coatings millions. But as soon as the new "prophet" was called he pushed his agenda and that was one of his big things.

He gave a talk where he actually said that jesus is offended when you don't use his name. It's funny as it was perfectly acceptable in the last 30 play years I was in the church but some current members get gnarly now if you use the term Mormon. 😂

Do mormons actually believe you get given a planet/ god / jesus live on different planets ? Or is that a myth

Hi OP

Thanks for this thread. I didn't see it when you first posted some time back.

Ex Mormon here too. In another country. My parents converted when I was around 6ish so it was the only religion I really knew. When I was 16 my parents divorced and as you can imagine that didn't go down well. I would say that my father had always been on the eccentric side and I really believe the decision was made to become a member as it was a bit different. Our branch was tiny, we lived in a small town and so some had to travel quite a bit from different areas.

I do recall my father having a beard was not a good thing. He was encouraged to be clean shaven, but he refused. So when the time came when my parents got divorced, my mother was welcomed but he was not. I didn't notice you mentiom it, but as girls/ woman we were not allowed to wear strappy tops that showed our shoulders. So me being a teen in a hot country, all my friends wore vest or strappy tops, and I was not able to.. I think this is where the cap sleeve from the garments come in. I think it with this that caused me to start rebelling. I stopped attending even though my mum still did. I was encouraged to return by the Woman's Relief numerous times, even had surprise visits by all of them to talk me into 'mending my ways'. I travelled quite extensively after leaving school, and was away for a number of years. A few days after my return bearing in mind I was away a lengthy time, I received a telephone call asking if I would be attending WR that week. I still do not know how they knew my new number, where I was living or that I was back. My mum had also stopped attending chapel since then too, and for a few years I would get weekly calls.

We did drink tea, only Redbush was acceptable as this contains no caffieine. We also had our peppers store ( can't remember the proper name now) as we had to have a good food supply in to last 2 years I think it was. We were not to drink any fizzy cold drinks and most definitely not Coke which was competely forbidden. We would also travel for convention every year

I am not sure if these applied to you also in the UK but I am assuming so.

We only had missionaries from the US and do still see some every now and then. They still only seem to travel by bicycle. To me, they just seem to get younger and younger. But that's because as a child they always seemed old

My friend is still very much a staunch member and I would attend some functions with her every now and then. But I am in another city now amd I never admitted to them about being a member years back as I feared I would get hounded again. She does keep reminding me that I should consider my afterlife, I do just do a nod and that's that.

I enjoyed your posts. I did actually forget quite a lot of things until you mentioned them.

The chapel in the city where I live is grandiois. It's the only word I can use to describe it. And it's on a road known as Millionaires Road, so you can imagine the value of the property. Plenty of tithes went into paying for that.

Grandious

@strawberrymilkshake123

Do mormons actually believe you get given a planet/ god / jesus live on different planets ? Or is that a myth

Excellent question. I was always taught I would. There are some quotations in can pull to verify that they did indeed teach that, but the church recently released a FAQ section and on that they stated that it was just conjuncture and was never actually taught. They don't directly say no, but they answer suggest you don't.

I'm 38 years old, I was definitely taught it, but I think that sort of teaching started dying out after my generation. So I doubt the younger generations were taught it.

@highlighta

Hi OP

Thanks for this thread. I didn't see it when you first posted some time back.

Ex Mormon here too. In another country. My parents converted when I was around 6ish so it was the only religion I really knew. When I was 16 my parents divorced and as you can imagine that didn't go down well. I would say that my father had always been on the eccentric side and I really believe the decision was made to become a member as it was a bit different. Our branch was tiny, we lived in a small town and so some had to travel quite a bit from different areas.

I do recall my father having a beard was not a good thing. He was encouraged to be clean shaven, but he refused. So when the time came when my parents got divorced, my mother was welcomed but he was not. I didn't notice you mentiom it, but as girls/ woman we were not allowed to wear strappy tops that showed our shoulders. So me being a teen in a hot country, all my friends wore vest or strappy tops, and I was not able to.. I think this is where the cap sleeve from the garments come in. I think it with this that caused me to start rebelling. I stopped attending even though my mum still did. I was encouraged to return by the Woman's Relief numerous times, even had surprise visits by all of them to talk me into 'mending my ways'. I travelled quite extensively after leaving school, and was away for a number of years. A few days after my return bearing in mind I was away a lengthy time, I received a telephone call asking if I would be attending WR that week. I still do not know how they knew my new number, where I was living or that I was back. My mum had also stopped attending chapel since then too, and for a few years I would get weekly calls.

We did drink tea, only Redbush was acceptable as this contains no caffieine. We also had our peppers store ( can't remember the proper name now) as we had to have a good food supply in to last 2 years I think it was. We were not to drink any fizzy cold drinks and most definitely not Coke which was competely forbidden. We would also travel for convention every year

I am not sure if these applied to you also in the UK but I am assuming so.

We only had missionaries from the US and do still see some every now and then. They still only seem to travel by bicycle. To me, they just seem to get younger and younger. But that's because as a child they always seemed old

My friend is still very much a staunch member and I would attend some functions with her every now and then. But I am in another city now amd I never admitted to them about being a member years back as I feared I would get hounded again. She does keep reminding me that I should consider my afterlife, I do just do a nod and that's that.

I enjoyed your posts. I did actually forget quite a lot of things until you mentioned them.

The chapel in the city where I live is grandiois. It's the only word I can use to describe it. And it's on a road known as Millionaires Road, so you can imagine the value of the property. Plenty of tithes went into paying for that.

Oh wow! Hi nice to hear your story. Similar experiences.

We were not allowed coke but it wasn't really pushed here in the UK. I've never drank it. We didn't do tea or coffee either. Any type of tea.

I think there is a degree of cultural aspects with some things though, like teas.

We had to cover our shoulders and knees too. Nothing right etc.

As for the money thing. I seriously think temples are just a way of accumulating more wealth by increasingly the value of land, which they sell off at a premium. It's a business not a religion, which is more clear with the new presidency.

It's a business not a religion, which is more clear with the new presidency

What do you mean by that? And a follow up question, do people feel free to criticise or disagree with the prophet? Do you think the way members view him is equivalent to how catholics see the Pope?

In your opinion, what sort of questions or conversations stump the door-to-door missionaries the most?

@BeckonCall

It's a business not a religion, which is more clear with the new presidency

What do you mean by that? And a follow up question, do people feel free to criticise or disagree with the prophet? Do you think the way members view him is equivalent to how catholics see the Pope?

In your opinion, what sort of questions or conversations stump the door-to-door missionaries the most?

It's basically a MLM. We pay of our earnings and increase (such as birthday money or profit form selling your house) 10% tithing plus humanitarian aid, missionary funds, fast offering (which is the money that goes to support others in community). If you go through the temple you pay the church for your underwear. It was something like £4.50 a top and £4.00 per bottom/knickers. If have to wear them all the time so it adds up, also temple clothing including robes all paid to to church.

You pay to go on your own mission, although often members have often pay into missionary funds to support missionaries. You pay for your own clothing etc to serve a mission.

None of local leadership are paid. The majority working full time and then serving in the church full time. The church used to a local member as caretakers to clean the chapel but that stopped years ago And now members have to clean the toilets and other areas of the chapel, they have rotas to make members clean.

The other end is quite different, they invest in stocks, shares and real estate. They are estimated to be worth in investment only over £150 billion but they are secretive about their funds. Regardless of anything, they are by far the richest world work church.

They own malls and insurance companies l, employ a huge amount of legal support and own huge amounts of land.

Those on top are paid, there is even leaked documents that suggest they get a few million when they hit most senior senior roles, but all
The higher leadership is paid.

They push political agendas and encourage members to oppose things like gay marriage. They use their money to help assist them with this.

While they do charity work it's extremely disproportionate to their wealth and often comes specific humanitarian drives. The church has vending machines where people can purchase goats and wells etc for disadvantaged counties. But that's coming directly from people buying those items.

In my own wards, we would be encouraged to
So lots of things, from domestic violence packages, baby blankets for neonates, food hampers for disadvantaged, homelessness packs and shoebox appeals. All of that would come from members pockets.

Meanwhile more is spent on legal and first class plane tickets.

Members are actually told that if their is a choice between paying their tithing or feeding their children, they pay tithing.

@BeckonCall

It's a business not a religion, which is more clear with the new presidency

What do you mean by that? And a follow up question, do people feel free to criticise or disagree with the prophet? Do you think the way members view him is equivalent to how catholics see the Pope?

In your opinion, what sort of questions or conversations stump the door-to-door missionaries the most?

No we can't criticise the church leadership. There is a quote from a video interview with President Oakes where he says "it is wrong to criticise church leaders even if that criticism is true."

Additionally, every two years or more, Members have what is known as worthiness interviews. These interviews are conducted by both Bishop and Seth interview at the stake president or one of the counsellors. Two of these questions pertain to sustaining of church leaders both locally and senior leadership of the church. If you were known to not be sustaining or critical of church leadership, then you will not be able to get a temple recommend and you will be deemed as unworthy.

Given the living worthy is the entire purpose of this mortal life it's a big deal.

You're also not supposed to participate or agree with any organisations that contradictory to the church. They have also been talks by people like Oaks that have said things like, while you may always love your children regardless of their choices, you should be careful in ways that you seen to be supporting them. Such as, well you may love your children and respect their choices ,but, if they have chosen a lifestyle contrary to the church you do not want to be seen as supporting that lifestyle. He was specifically talking about homosexuality and how you would not want your child's homosexual partner sleeping in your house for example or to attend a wedding of a homosexual couple.

Don't get me wrong in the last couple of years we have seen a lot more members expressing concerns about such teachings and openly opposing them. But that is definitely a very recent thing. I have no idea how that is handled internally by the church regarding worthiness interviews etc.

The last couple of years has seen a mass exodus from the church. The leadership seems to have doubled down on its efforts to teach the same principles and exact obedience, but for many this attitude is push them over the edge.

So it's changing, and the members on the whole are really good people. But sometimes when you're stuck in that sort of environment it's hard to see the wood for the trees.

As for the question of where the Mormons see their leader like the pope. Absolutely they do. It was a fireside given two weeks ago on on a Sunday by someone called Brad Wilcox. In his talk he said a lot of horrendous things quite frankly. About a range of topics.

At one point he gave an example of his children are used to play church like other children maybe play school. He made a joke that he got a bit worried when his daughter played pretended to pass the sacrament. He then used this example to say that's what all of the churches on this planet do all, all the other churches don't have the authority that they have and therefore all of the other churches are just playing at church.

Mormons believe that he's a prophet like the all time prophets in the Bible. He's more than the pope to the to the Mormons. He is God's little mouthpiece here on Earth. He can receive revelation directly from God for the people of the world.

As for what to say to missionaries.

It's really hard at times but firstly be kind. They don't know it but these kids have been groomed since childhood. They sang songs such as "I hope they call me on a mission" since they were three. I didn't have to consider what they would do, they knew what they would do. They knew they would go on this mission because it's been talked about since they were children. Then they come home go to university and get married usually at the same time.

The are barely into adulthood, they are 18 19 and 20 -year-olds. And most of them have a pretty sheltered lives up to this point.

The point is once you're indoctrinated in something you have an answer for everything. For religion that means feelings. Despite how much proof and evidence you can give against the religion they will always answer but have you prayed about it. They will then rattle off how they've had a profound witness.

It's likely that they haven't and it's likely they've convinced themselves that they have, because again you have been trained as a child to get up and talk in front of the entire congregation and tell them how much you love the church and that you know the prophet Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.

The point is most people in any religion in the world have had some sort of spiritual confirmation. Often that's just a nice feeling, Mormons describe it like burning in the bosom.

I felt it often in church. I also feel in many other circumstances in my life like emotional film, music etc, my children make me proud, A sunset. It's just a nice feeling but when you give it a name and associate it with religion then it becomes a confirmation of that religion.

A lot of the evidence is essentially lack of evidence. The book of Mormon has tons of anachronisms throughout the book. There is additionally new archaeological evidence of the book of Mormon people. There's another book called the book of Abraham. The book itself says it was translated from Egyptian papyri. They're even documents that show Joseph Smith's translation of these Egyptian papyri. Obviously at the time there was no translation of Egyptian Joseph claimed to have been given a revelation to be able to translate Egyptian.

We now know what these documents were. They were Funeral texts. It's easy to see Joseph Smith thought these were About the story of Abraham and Isaac. But it's also clear to see what they actually were which was a common funeral text that was placed with every mummy or at least the majority.

The book of Mormon also heavily relies on the authenticity of the Bible. The majority of biblical scholars would say that several of the stories in the Bible were more parable than fact. Such as examples of a global flood and the Tower of Babel. The Book of Mormon treat these as factual historical events and the fact that there is a lot of historical experts suggest it is not factual or historical in that way discredits the Book of Mormon.

I guess if I was in a situation where a Mormon missionary approached me in my own home and asked if I had questions, I would ask how they know that the feeling of confirmation is different from the confirmation others feel in their religions. How do you know that their confirmation is the right confirmation and there was a receive confirmation in Islamic religion is a Jehovah's Witness it's all Catholics or whoever else are wrong. How do you tell which feelings are the right ones. What if you don't receive a spiritual witness that Mormonism is true? When you prayed about the book of Mormon did it come from the standpoint of either wanting it to be true or from being around a community of people who believed it to be true? Why would God confirm to some people that their religion is true if it's not a true religion?

Hope this all makes sense? I was dictating into
My phone as I did other tasks 😂 feel free to ask for clarity if I'm making no sense. 😂

Amazing, thank you for these answers.

I've interacted with a few missionaries through my work and they're incredibly kind, eager, considerate and well-mannered, though obviously they're very closed off and insular if you're not also a member.

It's interesting what you say about the prophet and the elders. And creepy that there's so much secrecy about what goes on at the top.

I remember an AMA here with a faithful LDS member who said she found Utah Mormons a bit intense and over the top, whereas 'normal' U.K. Mormons are chilled out and just love everyone. Would you draw a similar comparison?

I often wonder how American the whole religion feels when you're not in America. Does it feel to those in the U.K. like Americans are having the more authentic experience of the religion, and do people often hope to make a pilgrimage to Salt Lake City or other historical Mormon sites?

Hi op. This is all very interesting. Would you say that the majority of Mormons did the food storage of a year or more supplies ...or not? Did you do o it? If so what did you do with all that food once you had left?

@shiningstar2

Hi op. This is all very interesting. Would you say that the majority of Mormons did the food storage of a year or more supplies ...or not? Did you do o it? If so what did you do with all that food once you had left?

I was raised LDS (only left because I was gay) and we did the years supply of food. My father built a false wall in our kitchen with slopping shelves. Filled it with 100s of cans that we would use on a rotational way. Take a can fom the bottom end of the slopping shelve and then put a new can at the top etc.

This is all really fascinating OP and I am in awe of your courage in finding your new path and freedom.

I live in New York and we have many Hasidic and Orthodox Jewish communities in my area. The similarities are striking. They too are "in the world but not of the world", are very insular, shunning non-believers, control access to information, etc. There are women who want to leave but most don't because they would be so completely severed from family and everything they know.

The Mormons in my area completed the construction of a new church a few months ago and I drive by it every day. It doesn't seem to be getting any use that I can see, but it may just be in use on weekends. I was surprised to see it go up because I don't think we have a lot of Mormons in the area and it must have been quite expensive to build. Do you think they might have built it in an effort to attract new members as opposed to serving existing members? Would the money have been raised locally or come from elsewhere?

Well done to you for not putting up with the abuse, control, and falsehoods.

@BeckonCall

Amazing, thank you for these answers.

I've interacted with a few missionaries through my work and they're incredibly kind, eager, considerate and well-mannered, though obviously they're very closed off and insular if you're not also a member.

It's interesting what you say about the prophet and the elders. And creepy that there's so much secrecy about what goes on at the top.

I remember an AMA here with a faithful LDS member who said she found Utah Mormons a bit intense and over the top, whereas 'normal' U.K. Mormons are chilled out and just love everyone. Would you draw a similar comparison?

I often wonder how American the whole religion feels when you're not in America. Does it feel to those in the U.K. like Americans are having the more authentic experience of the religion, and do people often hope to make a pilgrimage to Salt Lake City or other historical Mormon sites?

I would say Utah Mormons are far more intense and very insular.

I think the further you get from that epicentre the more "normal" they are as they have to mix with the general population.

However, the same basic beliefs exist. The belief that these men speak for God etc still are very much there but the wards are much more divisive and there are certainly a mixture of ultra conservative Mormons and ultra liberal members, which causes issues in itself.

You still have members who home education to prevent their children being corrupted etc but equally you get extremists in every situation.

@shiningstar2

Hi op. This is all very interesting. Would you say that the majority of Mormons did the food storage of a year or more supplies ...or not? Did you do o it? If so what did you do with all that food once you had left?

Sort of. We were very encouraged when I was younger and loads of people I know bought tons of wheat etc. honestly we kept extra food.

Always buying a little extra pasta, rice, tinned good etc go build up a store of sorts.

I personally never took it overly seriously. We did the bare minimum, 72 hour kit and had water and long life products. I remember once going to an over night activity where we were told to turn up with our 72 hour kids and how we would survive if we had to get out of the house at a moment notice. We finished worked, grabbed a change of clothes, went to Argos and got a pop up tent, sleeping bags etc and then grabbed a Chinese on the way.

We were not popular while everyone else as eating cold beans etc and we were set up in second with our lovely take away 😂

But there are certainly people who are complete preppers too.

@MissConductUS

This is all really fascinating OP and I am in awe of your courage in finding your new path and freedom.

I live in New York and we have many Hasidic and Orthodox Jewish communities in my area. The similarities are striking. They too are "in the world but not of the world", are very insular, shunning non-believers, control access to information, etc. There are women who want to leave but most don't because they would be so completely severed from family and everything they know.

The Mormons in my area completed the construction of a new church a few months ago and I drive by it every day. It doesn't seem to be getting any use that I can see, but it may just be in use on weekends. I was surprised to see it go up because I don't think we have a lot of Mormons in the area and it must have been quite expensive to build. Do you think they might have built it in an effort to attract new members as opposed to serving existing members? Would the money have been raised locally or come from elsewhere?

Well done to you for not putting up with the abuse, control, and falsehoods.

Are you in the UK? They like building temples but not usually wards/churches. They have a even ended up selling some churches.

They used to have much smaller congregations all over but they now have larger ones more spread out. It's cheaper I guess.

The churches are mostly empty all week. Especially post covid when post meetings are now conducted online. (That would have saved hours of my time).

Even Sundays are much lower now. My parents still meet online and very few people actually attend in the building. Even Sunday school had an online class now. The church leadership in salt lake isn't happy about it but I guess here it's do it or lose even more. At least they are paying their tithings online 😂

I am in New York, USA, so not in the UK.

It may have been a temple, not a church. Can you tell from the outside? It looks like the sanctuary would comfortably hold 60-80 people for services. It's a lovely, traditional gray stone church building with a spire.

It's interesting that they've built it at a time when services are going on line and there are fewer people attending in person.

@MissConductUS

I am in New York, USA, so not in the UK.

It may have been a temple, not a church. Can you tell from the outside? It looks like the sanctuary would comfortably hold 60-80 people for services. It's a lovely, traditional gray stone church building with a spire.

It's interesting that they've built it at a time when services are going on line and there are fewer people attending in person.

No idea. Things are different there, while I suspect things are still shrinking they are also dispersing so might be just a cluster in that area. Might be a small temple though. Where is it? Temples usually stand out as beautiful and unique buildings but it may be different in a city like NY.

They are moving towards making more small temples, but then it would likely be busier during the week if it was.