Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I'm a trans man and local trans activist, AMA

999 replies

Sideris · 05/01/2020 07:10

Hi there, folks.

As the title says, I'm here to respond to questions in good nature.

For a bit of background information, I'm 30 years old, a trans activist out of necessity (being the first 'out' trans person in numerous spaces, which didn't have any rules or regulations before, but have since been commended for ease of process by some new trans members or trans members who have been referred by me), have been 'passing' for about three years, now.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/01/2020 12:48

At the risk of adding myself to the "Fuck Off" list, I think you have fundamentally misunderstood how a thread on a forum works. You get to start a thread, but you don't get to decide who does and does not post on it, nor what they choose to post (as long as the posts are within the forum's guidelines).

OldCrone · 07/01/2020 12:48

I will not apologize to someone who's spreading the lies that a) most trans women are heterosexual, b) over 90% of trans women have not had bottom surgery, and c) that trans women get off to the thought of being women.

a) I said that most late transitioning transwomen are heterosexual. I don't know what the overall figures are (younger ones are often gay, and their transition is sometimes at least partly due to their experience of homophobia).

b) I said 'over 90% I think', indicating that I'm not sure of the exact figure, someone else said about 85% which may be more accurate. What do you think the figure is?

c) Some of them do. Well documented as other posters have said.

No lies.

MichaelMumsnet · 07/01/2020 12:48

Yikes. We can't mod this thread fast enough. We're going through and deleting all personal attacks, as per the Talk guidelines.

Soen · 07/01/2020 12:48

OP - I asked you what the point of your AMA was and if it was to enlighten women about trans issues. You didnt respond.

You came here under the guise of being fair minded etc and have point blank refused answer pps questions or tried to understand concerns raised. If you were not willing to listen to these women, and understand what they are saying, why do you expect the same in return? No one has been particularly rude or offensive. We all have opinions and provided they are not hate speech and are kept within the law, why are people not allowed to speak their minds.

Since when did questioning things become a form of hatred? When did TRA's become the police of peoples freedom of expression? No one here is transphobic, but honestly I bet I could speak to 2 different trans people and they would give me 2 entirely different opinions on what gender is.... so in a nutshell, its fucking attention-seeking bullshit.

Sideris · 07/01/2020 12:49

You’re doing the same to me.

Please do share which list I'm putting you on to indicate the behaviour of which group.

OP posts:
BercowsFlamingoFlownSouth · 07/01/2020 12:50

Are you going to answer anything or just argue and stamp your feet?

Sideris · 07/01/2020 12:51

No one has been particularly rude or offensive.

Excuse me? No one has? Not the people who insist I'm a woman, not the people who insist I'm endangering women by helping form a list that is already in place in other locations purely because it's also trans inclusive, not the people who insist I only transition to get money and power, not the people who ask if I have anal or vaginal sex, not the people who insist I was raped as a child and want to avoid womanhood for that reason?

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 07/01/2020 12:51

I’m jealous bercow.

I feel my identity as someone who should fuck off has been invalidated.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 12:51

Jesus Christ, this thread has had a change of tone. I gave up a while ago when I thought no answers were being given.

OP you should have (and must have) known the response you'd get the this thread. You shouting at everyone to fuck off is not helping your cause.

RhinoskinhaveI · 07/01/2020 12:52

I'm feeling left out because I haven't been told to fuck off
well I was slightly offended at first but now I feel quite validated by being told to fuck off, I think what I did was I identified as a person who enjoys being told to fuck off 🌞

JacquesHammer · 07/01/2020 12:52

Please do share which list I'm putting you on to indicate the behaviour of which group

When you’ve answered my questions champ.

Starting to think “AMA” was a bad idea, huh?

Dolorabelle · 07/01/2020 12:53

Also important is that many men who transition later in life (often after fathering children) are heterosexual and are aroused by the thought of themselves as women. They often start by cross dressing before going the whole way (which isn't really the whole way because as already mentioned they usually keep their male genitalia)

There's a fair bit of research on this - autogynephilia. The academic & psychiatrist - specialist in gender dysmorphia - Ray Blanchard writes about this from a background of over 30 years of clinical experience.

And as far as I understand it, around 80% of transwomen keep male genitalia, even in the UK where we have sex reassignment surgery (SRS) on the NHS. In fact, there are a lot of surgeries not available to women who might need them, which are available to transwomen as "gender affirming" via the NHS eg laser removal of facial hair -which women with PCOS suffer from, but which is rarely covered by the NHS.

And there was an outrageous claim made on Twitter by some transactivists that transmen should be prioritised for mastectomies on the NHS over women with breast cancer.

Two of my 3 sisters have had LIFE-SAVING mastectomies & 1 has had a lumpectomy for breast cancer - I may still have to have treatment as there seems to be a rogue gene in our generation of women. So I find the thought that someone could rationally think think that they have more priority than someone wit a life-threatening disease to be despicable.

I have had professional contact with young people with varying degrees of bodily dysmorphia - anorexia, transgender beliefs. It is distressing to see how distressed some young people are about their bodies - but none of these young people is only body dysmorphic. There is always an underlying mental health issue, or an issue of abuse or extreme trauma.

SRS (sex reassignment surgery) was originally experimented with as a way to relieve the extreme dysmorphia that Sideris describes in himself. And I'm glad it works for you, OP - what you describe is an case of a mind-body dysphoria which is clearly extreme and needed treatment. If SRS did this for you, then that is really a good thing.

But this doesn't give anyone the right - morally or legally - to trample over the rights, culture, and feelings of 51% of the population

But no doubt I'll be told to fuck off. Really getting into the misogynist masculinist culture there OP.

Pinkyyy · 07/01/2020 12:53

Not the people who insist I'm a woman

You cannot force your beliefs onto people. If someone has told you that they think you are a woman, they obviously believe that you can't change sex. Your right to your belief doesn't trump other people's right to theirs.

Gertrudesgarden · 07/01/2020 12:54

I think you're a trifle overwrought, OP. Nobody is using your rape or whatever against you. That's what the man who attacked you did. YOU are the one using it as a weapon against the posters here, to silence them and stop them discussing what's important to them.

BTW, you've had a post deleted, too. Off your high horse, sweetie.

JacquesHammer · 07/01/2020 12:54

Not the people who insist I'm a woman

Do you find biology rude?

HandsOffMyRights · 07/01/2020 12:54

Yikes. We can't mod this thread fast enough. We're going through and deleting all personal attacks, as per the Talk guidelines.

A number of posters have been told to fuck off by the OP, but we're mature enough to handle childish behaviour Mumnset.

Devereux1 · 07/01/2020 12:54

I haven't read the whole thread, and am not sure what firestorm I have just walked into.

But I'd like to ask:

  1. for the correct figures on those 3 points which you OP said were lies
  2. how are people who insist you're a woman being rude or offensive?
BercowsFlamingoFlownSouth · 07/01/2020 12:55

Ah I see, ask me anything does not mean to OP what it means to the rest of us. A bit like the words woman and man.

Sideris · 07/01/2020 12:55

I think you're a trifle overwrought, OP. Nobody is using your rape or whatever against you. That's what the man who attacked you did. YOU are the one using it as a weapon against the posters here, to silence them and stop them discussing what's important to them.

Again with the dumb shit assumptions.

I'm out.

OP posts:
HandsOffMyRights · 07/01/2020 12:55

Mumsnet

BercowsFlamingoFlownSouth · 07/01/2020 12:56

Devereux1 you know how it goes: the truth is offensive. Facts are offensive. Biology-offensive.

You can't identify out of biological facts OP, sorry.

HandsOffMyRights · 07/01/2020 12:56

Do most AMAs end with such flouncing and strops?

BercowsFlamingoFlownSouth · 07/01/2020 12:57

Classics please @MNHQ

GirlDownUnder · 07/01/2020 12:57

Fin.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread