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Original poster

I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

571 replies

GlitteryPoopooplop · 23/04/2019 19:58

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 07:31

Unfortunately littlemiss the only way you can be pro choice is if you completely agree with for ANY reason at ANY point, apparently anyway. I have been on abortion discussions where people find it perfectly acceptable to end the child's life while the mother is still in labour, if she changes her mind. Now I know that's a very very unlikely scenario,but there are people who actually think it's ok.

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 07:36

FuzzyLilac

You can opt out of text reminders being sent by your GP for exactly the reasons being discussed, it's not difficult. Also to arrange an abortion a doctor's appointment is usually needed first. My doctor's surgery never once sent me a follow up appointment to get my contraceptive injection, it was up to me to arrange everything for that. You can also go to family planning clinics where you don't have to be registered and receive contraception, if you can't go to the doctors. All of that is easier than going through multiple abortions.

FuzzyLilac · 25/04/2019 07:43

Dragon

No you do not need a gp appointment to arrange an abortion. You self refer to private clinics.
The solutions you give are great but they do not stop the risk of the woman bumping into people her abuser knows at the Drs or family planning.
It does not stop the risk of the contraception being mentioned at a later date with the abuser present.

All that seems easier to you because you are not in the situation some abused women are.

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 07:52

The doctor could also mention the abortion in an appointment because it will be in the medical notes. The abortion clinic where I live is in the closest hospital, if you bump into someone you know there, they won't automatically presume that's what you are there for and keep their mouth shut. How on earth is explaining why you are in the hospital easier than a doctor's?
Not me personally but I have known a couple, thankfully no longer with the men. I can not see how having MULTIPLE abortions is easier for a woman to hide than some form of contraception. It's not.

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 07:52

And if it is we are all massively failing these woman.

FuzzyLilac · 25/04/2019 07:57

The doctor could also mention the abortion in an appointment because it will be in the medical notes.

Not if you self refer to a private clinic.

As I said you cannot see it because it is not a situation you have experience of.

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 07:59

Really? So there is no need to disclose that information to your doctor? What if there were complications?

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 08:04

Do you have experience of women willy nillly having abortions because they are lax with contraception, or just don't give a shit really, have multiple abortions and multiple children. I know of at least 3. I know 2 who have had abortions for medical reasons, one was my aunt living in Ireland around 22 years ago now. She had to travel here for her abortion because she could have died during the pregnancy. There are good reasons for abortion and not so good reasons. Like I said if having multiple abortions is the easiest and only option for abused women, they are being failed massively.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:12

@Drogosnextwife no we do not tell the gp unless the client says that they are happy with it. Abortion is generally a date procedure with minimal complications. If a client did have complications, if they weren't happy for anyone to know, I'd advise them to say that they were having a miscarriage.

It doesn't matter what you think is easier, you're not in the situation these women are in. Also, some women cannot tolerate/aren't medically able to have contraception.

OP posts:
LittleMissHappy19 · 25/04/2019 08:17

No we are on about a phone being tracked.

So now she can leave her phone at home or her battery has died to keep popping to the abortion clinic, but she can't leave her phone at home or her battery has died to go and have the contraceptive injection?!

And as @Drogosnextwife said you can opt out of text reminders for appointments etc.

And do not presume @FuzzyLilac that you know our lives and what we have been through. You have seen it first hand etc..

How do you know that I haven't been in a horrifically abusive relationship A vast amount of women in the uk, have either been in an abusive relationship or know a friend or family member that has.

BGD2012 · 25/04/2019 08:18

Someone very close to me found out her much wanted baby had multiple abnormalities at the 2nd scan. Waiting for 2nd opinions and appointments for more in-depth scans (heart and brain) from specialists took weeks and unfortunately each one was a hammer blow to her. A horrible experience and decision to make.

TrashPanda · 25/04/2019 08:20

There are good reasons for abortion and not so good reasons.

I don't agree with this at all. The reasons for abortion are personal to each woman having one and nobody else should have any right to decide if your reason is good enough. I am pro choice, as early as possible as late as necessary. My choice might be that I would never have an abortion but I should have no right to restrict the choice of another woman to have an abortion.

A large proportion of people who claim to be pro life are no such thing, they aren't going to adopt all the babies. There are huge numbers of children already in the social care systems, they don't care about the child's life. They are anti choice.

Forcing a woman to have a baby she doesn't want isn't going to have good outcomes for the woman or the child.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:24

Exactly my thoughts @trashpanda

The depo injection isn't appropriate for everyone. Why are you so insistant an abused woman has to have it?

OP posts:
NoYo · 25/04/2019 08:24

I'd agree with pp saying that surely contraception is easier than possibly multiple abortions.( Although I have never had any 'mishaps' and my pregnancies have been thankfully planned for and much wanted. I realise not everyone has this luxury.)

Is abortion on grounds of the sex of the baby a common thing?

Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 08:25

But then I can't really be surprised by that, I have children in my own family who are being failed by social services on a daily basis.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:28

@NoYo only if contraception works for the client. Some women can't use common methods.

Abortion for sex of the baby isn't currently legal in this country. I've only ever have one client mention it though.

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 08:31

Also, some women cannot tolerate/aren't medically able to have contraception.

Ah so the answer is abortion everytime they fall pregnant, right.
There really aren't as many people in the situations of being abused and having to have several abortions as is being claimed here, it will be a very small number in the grand scheme of things.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:34

@Drogosnextwife that's exactly my point! Our "regulars" are few and far between. Their circumstances are exceptional so when i was asked "does it bother you?" my answer is no. I love my clients and I will defend them to the end.

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 08:35

My aunt living in Ireland 22 years ago, pregnant with a child that was very likely going to kill her and would never be able to live outside the womb, good reason for her to travel to the UK for an abortion.

The 3 people I know who have had several abortions because they cba to make sure they are using contraception correctly or don't bother with it at all because you know it makes you gain weight🙄 ( also because they don't need to bother, there's an easy fix) and pick and choose which pregnancies they keep and usually go on to have another child around a year later with the same person, not such a good reason.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:35

Also they don't have abortions every time. Lots of them have a lot of children.

OP posts:
FuzzyLilac · 25/04/2019 08:36

Really? So there is no need to disclose that information to your doctor? What if there were complications?

Then you would go back to the clinic or seek emergency medical help.

And do not presume@FuzzyLilacthat you know our lives and what we have been through. You have seen it first hand etc..

Little I have not presumed anything about your life Confused
No i do not know about your life but then again I am not passing judgement on you.
I do know what life is like for some abused women and why abortion is the safest option for them.

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:37

@Drogosnextwife sorry, I disagree. Also, you might think that's their reasoning but you don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. Why should she have contraception which she knows makes her gain weight if she doesn't want it?

OP posts:
LittleMissHappy19 · 25/04/2019 08:39

Why aren't they just popping to their chemist or pharmacy for the morning after pill?!

Widely available in the UK now.
Don't have to go to the GP.
£1.50.
No questions asked.
Nothing written in your medical notes.
If their phone is tracked, these women can say they have 'popped into boots for something'

Or have multiple abortions? And they manage to get away with that?

Hmm doesn't make any sense!

Original poster
GlitteryPoopooplop · 25/04/2019 08:42

LittleMissHappy19 is not £1.50 everywhere. Questions do get asked (by the Pharmacist). Lots of them do do that but they can't do it every time. It's not very effective.

Also, the reason is cheaper now is due to a campaign by an abortion provider.

OP posts:
Drogosnextwife · 25/04/2019 08:46

Why should she have contraception which she knows makes her gain weight if she doesn't want it?

Oh Jesus, sorry but in my eyes you just lost any kind of argument with that statement right there.