I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

@LittleMissHappy19 yes, I honestly do believe that.

Thank goodness it’s not just me who feels this way @LittleMissHappy19

People are regulars. I can think of 3 I know who are regulars because their partners are controlling /abusive so they can't have contraception in case it's found. The men get them pregnant on purpose, the women then have to sneak away and have an abortion without the man knowing. Do you think they should have to keep their babies?

So they would rather go for abortion after abortion and risk their abusive partners finding out about that? Do these partners never wonder why the woman never gets pregnant.

More should be done to help those woman get away from those abusive partners. There are forms of contraception that can be taken that no one would know about. Are these never advised to these woman? Surely going for the Jag every 3 months is better than having an abortion every year or so.

If I found out I was pregnant at a late stage and that baby had a serious congenital defect I would terminate at 38 weeks rather than give birth to a baby that I knew would live for hours/days.

The thought of such late term termination is not nice, but in an extreme case such as this it would seem like the right choice.

@Drogosnextwife it can be hard to get away from someone who tracks your phone to go to drs appointments without them knowing why you're there. A man could feel a coil, or an implant, they could find pills. Obviously we strongly encourage contraception use and have a fantastic safe guarding team who help with that side. But we cannot force women away from their partners, regardless of how evil they seem. Women will sometimes tell them they've miscarried, or not tell them about the pregnancy etc.

Basin and that’s what it comes down to really isn’t it?
Such late term abortions are usually only carried because of a severe medical complication for either mother, child or both It’s an unimaginable position to be in. Personally I’m thankful to live in a country where I have access to a safe, legal abortion should I find myself in such horrendous circumstances There’s way too many people out there who seem to think women are swanning into abortion clinics in their third trimester asking for willy nilly abortions

@Blossom28 @LittleMissHappy19 I agree with you both it's ludicrous not to have time limits in my opinion.

Op if you believe that a woman needs to explanation and no time limit how would this work with a woman who was in labour at 42 weeks for example. Would you condone intervening whilst she is in labour to abort the baby?

So if they can be tracked to the doctor's surgery they can be tracked to an abortion clinic.
To have regulars at an abortion clinic is very unsettling.

If I found out I was pregnant at a late stage and that baby had a serious congenital defect I would terminate at 38 weeks rather than give birth to a baby that I knew would live for hours/days.

Why? You would still have to give birth, the only difference is when the heart stops beating.

Firstly, it sounds like you're a wonderful nurse. Thank you for being so professional.

I'm afraid I am still more pro life but that's just me and my beliefs. I do however respect your kindness and dignity you give these ladies.

People are regulars. I can think of 3 I know who are regulars because their partners are controlling /abusive so they can't have contraception in case it's found. The men get them pregnant on purpose, the women then have to sneak away and have an abortion without the man knowing. Do you think they should have to keep their babies?

Surely rather than this repeated cycle these woman are best getting support. The cycle only ends when responsibility has to be taken. Can you not report them as being vulnerable to social services or something ?

I had a nurse who asked if I had children and why I was having a termination just before I was put under anaesthetic, is this usual? I'd already gone through the consultations with doctors so this really shocked and upset me.

(Please don't @ me if you respond, thanks)

@Drogosnextwife it's really not unsettling. Its not ideal. But it happens. I'm not going to go into too much detail about how we deal with the above situation but it can be done.

Cat, no that sounds weird. I've no idea why she would do that. I can see that you might check that someone was sure, but that's not the time for whys.

I'm not really up for the whole rights and wrongs conversation about limits etc. I feel like I've made my opinion pretty clear. Happy to answer other questions if anyone has any left.

Drogosnextwife but still that decision should lie with the mother.
Say you get told in late stage pregnancy, that your baby has a serious defect/medical condition that is not compatible with life outside of the womb, and they will either die during the birthing process or very shortly after and you are faced with the decision: either have a late term abortion and give birth to your baby after it as died, or you allow yourself to go into labour naturally and either lose your baby halfway through or have to watch your baby die a difficult death once it’s born?

I know someone who’s baby’s lungs were severely under developed. She carried her baby to term, and it took him an hour to die, attempting to breathe with lungs that simply didn’t work. I don’t even want to think about what that feels like for a mother.

Oh my goodness @nevertol I had the exact same experience in 1997 and have been traumatised by that in recent years. I still can't work out why it was necessary.

Glittery when does surgical termination get difficult in a technical sense?

It seems like there’s a certain point when the surgery is very easy to perform, but then at a later point, it gets more involved? Is just about the size of the fetus?

My mum works for a big abortion charity and her saying is simple. As early as possible, as late as necessary.

Realistically the amount of women coming after 20 weeks for an abortion are for medical or harrowing reasons. Their isn't thousands of women queing up to get 24 week abortions because they can't be bothered to be pregnant anymore

@MangoFeverDream after about 12-13 weeks I think. I don't perform surgery myself so I'm not exactly sure but normally around that gestation is where we'd recommend something more than just local anesthesia. After 15 weeks it's another step up again. More complicated due to the size basically, like you said.

@Lalalalalalalalaland oooh I like that phrase! I'm going to start using that. It's very good. And you're exactly right about late gestation. It's rare and surrounded by sad stories.

Lalalalalalalalaland

I don't think your mum came up with that, I'm surprised someone who works in an abortion clinic has never heard that said before.

Drogosnextwife so you think that it’s better that that baby is born living and potentially suffers for hours/days before dying? Because it should have rights and therefore it should not be the decision of the mother?

That’s a very odd statement for someone who doesn’t agree with late term abortion. The only difference is when the heat stops beating? Jesus Christ.

My son (very much wanted) died in my arms after being born at 24 weeks 2 days past the termination cut off iirc.

I also believe in abortion no matter how late term, my circumstances have no bearing on what other women are going through and should not be compared.

As early as possible, as late as necessary every time.

@BasinHaircut perhaps it's better for the grieving process (for some)

BasinHaircut

That’s a very odd statement for someone who doesn’t agree with late term abortion.

Who said this? Did I say this? Nope! Do not assume anything about anyone.

Having a brain defect doesn't always mean the child will suffer.

Don't start your pro life bashing on me. I did not once say I was pro life. I asked why someone (was it you?) said would terminate a foetus at 38 weeks instead of giving birth at full term or whenever the baby arrives. You should check a persons stance before assuming any old shite.

Do you have to do a certain number of hours a year in an actual maternity ward doing ‘normal’ births too or do you solely concentrate on the abortion side?

In the back of my head my friend is a nurse and has to do a certain amount of hours to keep her pin. Is it the same for midwives or does the work you do count in that respect?

I think it’s amazing what you do - women need people like you when they are at there most vulnerable!