I'm a midwife who works in abortion care. AMA

[GlitteryPoopooplop]

Go ahead. I'll try and answer everything the best way I can. Sorry if this is boring (I love my job and can go on about it a bit.)!

Brilliant thread and well done op so being so calm and patient under a lot of provocation and confrontational posts.

For a long time I was very against the idea of late abortions and for a long time felt the limit should be reduced but I watched a documentary with the lady from the weakest link (mind blank can't remember her name) about abortion with a pro choice campaigner who had been involved in the campaigns of the 60s and they talked about how if you put any limits on abortion- time, reasons, sex selection etc it is reducing the choice and then it has a knock on to all the other reasons and it totally changed my views
Also to the question about abortions at full term I would argue what about all the concealed pregnancies when the birth is in a door way or similar and the baby is born alive but then hidden away and often dies and the mother hasn't had any medical care or treatment

*Thank you for what you do. Do you feel privileged to be able to help women who may be going through a really difficult time?

I think I understand your belief that there shouldn't be any stage of pregnancy when an abortion couldn't be carried out (hope all those negatives make sense). Did you always feel like this, before you worked in this field? Or did it evolve from a realisation that drawing a line was arbitrary? Do you think there would be pressure to shorten the 24 week limit if medical advances meant that a significant proportion of babies born at 23 weeks survived?*

Yes yes yes so privileged! It's just the best and I love that I can help women.

I've always thought that abortion is the right choice for certain people. I don't remember that I'd had any thoughts about gestation if reasons or anything like that but I definitely wasn't as Liberal as I am now. I read a book called "the moral case for abortion" and it really helped me see that, like you say, limits are arbitrary and so so so hard to draw a line in.

There is always pressure to reduce the limits and I can absolutely understand why, it's such an emotive subject (as we've seen in this thread). To be honest, I'd like to see abortion removed from criminal law and regulated by health care professionals.

@nevertol - I had a TOP in 1998. I was 16. I too had my pregnancy "dated" by the doctor shoving her hand inside me with no chaperone. I'd had sex once. It was the most traumatic part of it, and I've always wondered if it was a standard thing.

Have you ever had anyone take the first treatment/pill and it not work or they then change their mind? Would they have to then continue with second part of treatment or is there still a possibility they could continue with pregnancy?

Does abortion hurt the baby?

@DwayneDibbly

You don't believe someone can be a feminist and have the belief that it is not ok to end a child's life AFTER it has been born?

I see your post was deleted.

@Moonriver83 the first pill increases your risk of miscarriage but shouldn't cause anything else. So we'd warn women of that. I have had people where the treatment doesn't work at all and they've continued the pregnancy. Again, we do recommend that they don't continue the pregnancy because misoprostol can sometimes cause birth defects.

Drogo stop trying to turn the thread into something it isn't.

Got to be honest I hate the thought of any reason any gestation, I am pro-choice within the confines of the law. So any gestation for medical, any reason up to viability makes sense.

A 36 week foetus being terminated maybe because the husband has changed his mind or they found out it’s a girl - just doesn’t sit right.

Also have to say I don’t see the moral difference between stopping the heart of a healthy baby 5 mins before birth or 5 mins after.

Does feticide always work, and does it always work the first time?

In the interests of honesty I’m another who has had a stillbirth and prob not the best person to be in this thread, she died 7 years ago today.

I don't think that's what the post said @Drogosnextwife. Perhaps you've misconstrued?

slithytove

@Sagradafamiliar It seems @Drogosnextwife is on a mission to antagonise. They will no doubt deny that.

I don't think I have. Your post was Deleted, the other posters wasn't. I wonder why.

Actually @Drogosnextwife the post I responded to was also deleted. Do keep up.

@Sagradafamiliar

How am I doing that? I had questions for the OP based on statements they made. There will always be debate with such an emotive subject. I only posted my post to DwayneDibbly because I wondered if they actually knew what infanticide was, considering they think someone can't be a feminist if they don't agree with it.

@Innernutshell sorry I've only just seen your message about your TOP. I can't imagine what the nurse meant. Might be worth requesting the notes to see if you could work out why if you're interested or worried? Strange comment to make. X

@Drogosnextwife The post I replied to implied that the thread was repulsive and promoted infanticide. I fully understand the term. I found it difficult to understand that someone who professed to be a feminist, and therefore presumably supportive of women's rights, could conflate abortion with that. My post in response was deleted, I presume, because I used expletives in it.

I fully appreciate that you may not agree with what the OP does or a woman's right to choose.

I hope you have a pleasant evening. :-)

This has been very interesting to read. I would have stated at the start that I was a feminist and pro-choice. Apparently I am not. I can't see "aborting" a full term healthy baby as anything but murder. I don't see women as merely incubators but I also can't believe that a baby is only a person once it has taken an independent breath, and just some kind of random medical tissue before that. Lots to think about.

What an interesting and honest thread. Thank you OP for your care and kindness to women, the work you do is so very important.

My question is, do you get along well with your colleagues and do you always work in the same team? I imagine you’d get quite close.

@DwayneDibbly

I can only assume you didn't rtft or you missed the poster that said that they believed that ending a child's life after they are born (even a few months after) because of disability or the mother deciding she can't cope was perfectly acceptable. I think that is what the poster was referring to.

I do agree with a woman's right to choose, but I feel it's a very grey area and I don't believe in ANY reason at ANY time.

This has been absolutely fascinating, and well done @GlitteryPoopooplop for your immense calm and grace under pressure of such an emotive subject.

I had a medical abortion a decade ago and the nurse/midwife who administered the first pill told me, after looking at my notes, that the fetus was a 'tiddler' and I'd have probably miscarried anyway. I think this was meant to be reassuring and I appreciated the gesture but it upset me more, weirdly, to think the choice might have been taken away from me had I chosen to continue the pregnancy (which I wanted to do, but couldn't for a number of reasons). I then passed the fetus after taking the first pill (I'm fairly sure as I felt something come away and it was like a large glob - I couldnt bring myself to look closer). Is the likelihood of miscarriage that easy to spot at the approx 7/8 weeks I'd have been? And does the fact I did then miscarry after the first pill mean it probably wasn't going to be a viable pregnancy? It's always been on my mind, I know it's trivial as far as things go!

Luckily my baby is pro choice and so she agreed with their decisions too.

Why is there no eye-roll icon on MN, the hmm icon just doesn't cut it for this.