I’m a gay man. AMA

[EcoCleaner]

Gay, spent much of my formative years on “the scene”, Irish catholic family on my side and Muslim in-laws.

Ask me anything.

God im a complete terf, but this pile on just because hes gay is a bit embarrassing.

twisted I really didn't ask that tho did I.

OP might not be politically aware, I'm not judging. I get that some find the trans woman is a woman statement agreeable or demonic, but am I naive in thinking that the attacks are unwarranted?

I don't think a trans woman is a woman. It's not going to affect the respect I afford to her in recognition of her rights as a person.

The whole, we ask the gay guy cos he's gay and representative of all gay men nonsense, has only just been put into a context of the gay rights being leapfrogged onto. That certainly wasn't couched in that way at the start.

Eco - do you really think we run up to transwomen in the street and yelll, you're not a woman? I'm all for being civilised and respectful but I won't collude with the lie that transwomen are women, when in doing so, I am eroding women's rights.

Out of interest, do you think a white person could ever declare themselves to be black? How about if I say that I just know inside that I'm black, that I simply feel black and that from now on, you must refer to me as a black woman? (I'm white, obvs).

Who has said anything about him being gay? Do you think a straight man saying TWAW end of would fare any better?

EarlyWalker thank you - all the best to your sister too.

LIVIA999 I always knew I wasn't like the other boys at school but didn't really know why. I would say I must've been around 11 or 12 when it started to become apparant to me that it was sexuality related. I did indeed 'come out' when I was 15, but it wasn't common knowledge for a year or so after that.

Bran - it's got fuck all to do with him being gay.

Re the surrogacy thing. My uncle is a gay man with a partner, and they share two beautiful children with their best friends who are a lesbian couple they met whilst at uni 10-15 years ago who I suppose weren't actually surrogates for them as they are all parents and split their time equally - but it works beautifully for all involved.

I don't agree with trans women/men being women/men but I am definitely not against a loving gay couple becoming parents by using a willing and able woman as a surrogate.

Sorry that wasn't a question..

Do you watch RuPauls Drag Race? And if so, who is your fav contestant?

Truckingonandon You reminded me of this lady.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachel_Dolezal

Being completely honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that. It may be contradictory as deep down I feel the same should apply, but equally I think "well she's clearly not black". I'll have to jump onto YouTube and see what she says about it.

Not impressed at being asked stupid questions.

How is it NOT about OP being gay, when his OP says I'm a gay man AMA?

MamaJune only bits and pieces - I love Bianca though.

oh god, someone's going to bring drag queen's into this now, aren't they? FFS.

Hi op.

Apologies as I'm still reading through the thread, so hopefully no one has asked this yet.

Moving away from the trans and surrogacy questions for a moment...

I've heard that there is quite a lot of misogyny amongst gay men. I have no idea if this is true or not as I dont know much about the gay community. Do you find that to be the case?

^ two separate statements, just realised I've stopped pausing for breath..and ...breeethe

Smother it's not to do with OP being gay, he made statements regarding trans issues such as 'a trans woman is a woman, end of' and the discourse led from there.
I agree with PP, he wouldn't know the daily life of a woman always being aware of the likelihood of harassment and sexual abuse, what with him being a man. (Sorry to refer to you in the 3rd person, OP and I appreciate your good humoured responses).

formerbabe I would say not so much anymore and certainly never really towards straight women. Most gay men I know tend to have lots of female friends.
For some reason, there used to be a lot of animosity between lesbians and gay men - both sides had massive chips on their shoulder about the other. I've also experienced some really man hating lesbians in the past that just hate men and think we serve no purpose at all and the world would be a better place without all men. But again, they tended to be older and it's not so much of a problem anymore.

BlancheM bear in mind, that statement directly relates to how I approach trans people. I still maintain that I would award a trans woman the same respect and dignity that I would any other woman. So for me, a trans woman is a woman. Why would I approach these 2 people differently or treat either of them differently?

Eco - it is an interesting question to ponder on for sure. The concept is the same and yet it seems perfectly obvious that you cannot be black if you are infact white, no matter how much you might 'feel' it.

Thanks for answering op!

Truckingonandon I was about to say would it still apply if it was the other way around and then I remembered Michael Jackson. But even he didn't ever declare himself to be a white man.

Eco so would I, I treat everyone with respect in every day life, why wouldn't I. But to answer your earlier question, 'why am I eroding women's rights?': how about this (well used) example. Say me or my daughter went for an intimate exam or a smear test, for reasons to relating to past abuse or mere preference, requested a female nurse only to be greeted by a man who referred to himself as a woman, I would have to put up and shut up about my own discomfort or be labelled a bigoted transphobe. I don't want this for my daughter. I don't want it for any woman or child in a women's refuge. Or prison. Ect

I was hovering on this thread wondering what question I needed to ask on a gay ama.

Then very quickly OP stated his opinion on trans issue, with an end of attached.

That is how the questions and challenges were opened up. I find it really odd the posters who are pretending its a planned attack or because OP is gay. I don't live under a rock, I have met gay people and yes trans people before, I am even related to some!!!! Very patronising.

Also the idea that if you don't agree with another person's belief you must treat them disrespectfully is strange.

I don't believe in God, I am totally respectful to my religious friend. I don't believe in gendered souls, totally respectful to my trans relative.

Not agreeing does not mean any thing other than not agreeing!

So OP.
You think twaw, as in affording all the same respect and so on.
Just to clarify, do you think they are actually the same though, as in can be identified as exactly the same biologically and therefore with women's spaces?
As I have taken the view that you are talking about surface interaction, respecting each other and so on, or was this thread a place you wanted to stats that trsn women should be doing, say, vertical smears, even if they only self id'd as women, and still kept their anatomical maleness?

Omg..soz for typos!
'Cervical' obvs
And 'state' not stats

@titchy my dad was 56 when my brother was born so bog off with the age stuff