I wear a niqab! AMA

[JamTea]

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

Well, look, Somewhere, I don’t know if anything anyone posts is genuine. But if it is it is horrific. And to be frank, we hear from plenty of women living in abusive controlling relationships/families so I don’t find it too implausible that some people - not all - do experience this.

some and so could JamTea in fact they both could be the same person.

However - of some one tells me they are being abused I’ll believe them. Just because it goes against a particular culture it doesn’t mean it’s offensuve to believe it.

bonkers my family are catholics (I am not!) laughing at nuns in memes or in weird pictures is something I’ve done a lot. My bother once wore a nuns outfit with plastic tits on to a fancy dress.

@CocoDeMoll

Hi, really interesting AMA topic smile. Do you get fed up with assumptions about you based on your choices?

I’ve read ‘from my sisters lips’ and think it’s a really enlightening book on modern women in Islam.

Yes little bit fed up and tired to be honest. It feels a bit like people are talking about us, but not with us, and making huge assumptions about us without even talking to us! It is quite condescending actually, like as if we don't have a mouth to voice our own opinion, and the brain to make our own free choices.

@candysuger i am a muslim and have many cousins and relatives and I can honestly say that the women that i know wouldnt put up with the shit you are putting up with. The muslim women I know stand up for themselves, have a decent career and know their minds. Not all muslim women are under the thumb.JUST WANTED TO POINT THAT OUT.

@Sweetsongbird1 I've also laughed at memes of nuns, not sure I would take kindly to a picture of them being ridiculed on a thread such as this.

I am going in order and will answer your questions, and will not be derailed by comments questioning my identity or intent. Is it really so hard to believe that someone that wears niqab can articulate her own thoughts?!

JamTea why are you not answering some of the important questions ?

tooExtra and sweet yes I agree, there are situations where women are forced. I have let @candy know of places and people that can help, I have also come across women in such situations, and her posts didn’t add up...but that is all IMO. Anyway, as I said I haven’t ignored the aspect of this, and that is why have given info about organisations that can help.

@Spudina

Can you understand why in certain circumstances a Niqab isn't a good idea? As an example hospitals don't usually allow staff to wear it as patients want to see the faces of the staff they are being treated by. Also, do you take a vitamin D supplement?

Yes I definitely understand that and agree with that too, especially if patients are not used to it (like I know in some UAE countries some women do wear niqab and it seems to work for them, and fair enough if it works for them). I do take daily vitamin D supplements and have privately had vitamin D injections too, in fact you have just reminded me to take mine :)

@Bluntness100 Good question, I have answered it above now :)

@CraftyGin

Do you dress nicely underneath?

I can't lie that there have been quite a few times when I had my PJs on beneath the jilbab (overcoat). But I do wear nice clothes. My day to day is a dress/top with jeans/jeggings/leggings depending on my mood, all from highstreet stores (Zara/H&M etc)

JamTea these are 100,000 women in Iran protesting about covering up. They are FORCED to do so or they would have been shot.

Do you feel complicit in this forcing as you choose to wear yours? Should you not show solidarity with your sisters ?

@GingerPicked

Is it a fashion thing, like a tattoo or dressing as a goth? I am unaware of scripture and a long history of this garment.

It is mentioned in the hadeeth (sayings of the Prophet) and eluded to in the Quran (Muslim scripture). I may be wrong but as far as I am aware, is Mary sometimes depicted in drawings as having covered her face? (Again I might be completely mistaken, but I found it interesting)

This picture.

You don’t even know if it’s mentioned in the Hadith? So your wearing something On the hearsay of others (men)

Why havnt you checked or do you not read the Hadith daily ?

🐠🐠🐠🐠

sweets aren’t they fighting for the right not to wear headdress? So not even the face veil? I’ve never heard Iran making the face veil compulsory

@RitaMills

Do you ever get abuse in the streets from people, either low level or extreme? If you do does it ever make you question your choice or does it make you more determined to carry on wearing it?

I think mostly I've had stares or people looking and sighing or making rude remarks. The impact depends on how strong I am feeling that day and I suppose whether I am alone too and where I am when it happens. I am very strong as a person, so I am not easily affected, but there have been moments when I have thought maybe this is getting too difficult, but then the next day I am fine :)

I didn't post the picture to make fun. I searched for it because, like other posters, I found the idea of doing a dangerous sport in such inappropriate clothing somewhat unlikely but hey, what did I know? There are some niqab wearing abseilers.

If I find the picture faintly amusing, that is entirely my right. I have not, and will not, express an opinion on another person's religious faith.

I'm quite uncomfortable as some of the comments on here! Especially the picture. If i was go get a picture of a Christian nun all covered up or a Jewish woman with the sheitel (wig) or the men with the curls, would we also laugh about these..?

🍿

@TwistedStitch

Do you feel any discomfort that you are in the 'privileged' position of being able to choose what you wear, yet actively opt to wear something that women in other countries are forced to?

I don't feel discomfort. I feel immensely privileged to have the choice to dress as I wish and practice my faith freely. I have complete sympathy for the women who are being forced to wear niqab. And I can understand how hard that can be, as it is difficult to wear niqab even when you REALLY want to; it must be even more difficult to wear when you really don't want to. So they have my full sympathy.

Btw as an FYI, there are NO countries in the world thankfully that force women to cover their face. Even Saudi Arabia don't do that.

@Candysugar
I just wanted to say I hope you get out of this terrible situation, it sounds horrific.
As a Muslim women I can tell you that this is not normal behaviour to receive from your husband and your family, you are being abused!
This is not how muslims should treat one another, and it seems the abuse will be passed on to your daughter if you don't get help. I bet your sisters are out there free, which is better than living how you are. Please get help, contact women's aid!!

sweets maybe it’s not the men and it’s the women themselves, strong parallels between the two

forward.com/sisterhood/127114/why-jewish-women-are-wearing-burqas/

@WineCheeseSleep

What circumstances do you not wear it? Presumably you take it off as soon as you get home? What about sports, swimming etc?

Yes only when out in public and not when taking part in any external other activity where only females are present. So I will always go to a female only swimming session, and the local female only session is shared mainly by Jewish Orthodox women and Muslim women.

No JamTea you don’t feel sympathy for other forced women - if this post is genuine, you don’t give a shit.

These are women burning their Niqabs after being liberated from being under an oppressive control

I'm Catholic and wouldn't give a toss if someone put a pic of a nun abseiling up here.

There are anti Catholic jokes all over the place, and more than jokes. And that's fair enough. A lot of the criticism is warranted. And a lot of the jokes are funny.

I don't understand why people are so precious about Islam.

@NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade

How do you keep cool in the heat?

I wish there was more aircon in public areas. But to be honest I am quite used to heat and covering the face (I don't really think about it), and I do a lot of driving and have air con in the car too so that probably helps.