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I wear a niqab! AMA

838 replies

JamTea · 12/08/2018 13:34

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

OP posts:
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Sweetsongbird1 · 12/08/2018 22:29

🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠

fontofnoknowledge · 12/08/2018 22:30

JamTea
I assume you are either British born or a permanent resident in the UK. ? I also guess you know that the Niqab and Chadoor are not a type of dress that is 'normal ' within our cultural traditions. That by 'choosing' to wear one when it is a choice and in no way a requirement for your religion- you are equally choosing to set yourself apart from the society that you either have been bought up in or have chosen to live in. An item of clothing that creates a deliberate barrier to assimilation. You surely cannot believe that is a 'good' thing. ?

One of my big puzzlements is that people of different religions and cultures come to live in the U.K. for numerous reasons but the main one is surely because they simply prefer it to the oppressive practices and cultural behaviours abounding in their country of origin (and I am really proud that our country offers safe haven to those in that situation) - yet they often continue those practices when here , preventing an ability to mix and absorb our culture along with theirs.
I also have to ask - if you believe that your Niqab makes you more pious , then why would you want to live in the uk with all its crop-top bearing non pious women when their are many many countries where your religious requirements do not set you apart and would surely make you more comfortable.
Unless you like the attention?

This is the part that I really can't get me head around.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2018 22:32

I do worry that banning it will restrict these women's movement, which ironically appears to defeat the purpose of banning it? Or are we even clear about why we want to ban it?

It's this. I don't understand why thr op would write this. "These women" that's a very odd way to write about a group you say you're in..when you're one of "these women".

Sweetsongbird1 · 12/08/2018 22:37

Yes blunt it’s the paragraph I was Hmm at.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 22:41

Good points. However, the claim that "she" goes rock climbing and abseiling with the billowing cloak and face veil really made me laugh at the absurdity!!

OverByYer · 12/08/2018 22:45

🎣 , something not right here

Growingboys · 12/08/2018 22:46

I also LOLed at the rock climbing and abseiling Clionba!

Sounds like a tampax ad.

Sweetsongbird1 · 12/08/2018 22:47

Tbh I missed the tucking the Niqab in whilst rock climbing bit😂😂 yeah it’s gotta be a piss take, ffs!

Well done op!

Tis Sunday though most folk are on wind down !

Clionba · 12/08/2018 22:47

Ha ha!! She'll be roller skating next Grin

CherryChatsworth · 12/08/2018 22:49

Can you tell me more about how you participate in extreme sports wearing a niqab? It has to be more than just 'tucking it in a bit.' Tucking it in to where exactly?

Sweetsongbird1 · 12/08/2018 22:50

Clionba the next tampax advert! Grin

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2018 22:52

I think one things for sure,

Threads like this cement the case to ban it.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 22:54

I'm crying here!! GrinGrin
I live in a National Park and pass rock climbers and abseilers frequently. The idea of a female doing it in full Islamic garb is just bonkers! Where the heck does the harness go? Why would you deliberately restrict vision in a high risk sport??!

snailtrail112 · 12/08/2018 22:55

I often read threads like these and stay away, simply due to the fact that i think I won't be able to articulate how I feel.

Before I get in to the whole forced clothing, I pressed women etc I want to get across the point of religion vs culture.

Religion basically means believing in and worshipping a superhuman power (ie) a God.
Islam believes in Allah, Christianity the Holy Trinity etc. Everyone is obviously at different stages of their own religious journey. Some may describe themselves as liberal, and not really religious. Some describe themselves as being close to their faith, their God and prayers. You will find, the closer one feels to God the more modest they may dress or cover up more. Some Muslims believe that wearing a niqab/hijab etc symbolises being close to God in their eyes. Men are also to cover up and be 'modest' but in different ways. Covering the face I have to get across is not seen as a bad thing in religion or a sign of oppression. It's not seen as anything. I don't look at a person with niqab on and think anything different about her, whether that be admiration or pity, I don't think anything.

This leads me to culture. The Indian, Pakistani, Afghan, Iranian and many other cultures have ruined religion. They (usually men) years ago when men were the breadwinners and women stayed at home as homemakers took advantage of this and started to control their womenfolk. Over the years some people have become so brainwashed they believe these cultural followings to be religion. Yes they do force their women to cover up, yes they don't allow their women to go out for education, not marry who they want, heck I know some families who don't allow their daughters to leave the house for anything. It's a disgusting attitude to have. And some for reason in some families it doesn't change.

In Islam we are taught to respect our elders, but challenge them respectfully when they are wrong. Culture doesn't allow you to challenge your elders EVER. If the older beliefs are never challenged then where is the change.

I am a British born Indian Muslim. I am married, I work, I don't cover my head or face, I have a life and I live it. I will go to bars and parties with my colleagues, having a Diet Coke while they have a pornstar martini or two and be dancing away until the early hours. I do also pray my daily prayers. I do not class myself as religious or liberal. I am simply me. If I decided to cover my head tomorrow my colleagues and friends would not look at me differently. I am still me and importantly it would be my choice.

When you see a woman wearing a niqab please do not assume she is oppressed. Yes oppression exists, not in Islam, but in certain cultures oppression exists. Don't judge the religion, judge the culture these people follow. A poster above says she is being forced to wear a full face covering and doesn't want to. I would be interested to know which culture/country she is from as honestly that would explain it.

We (the ones from different culture or first generation British) have to be the ones to challenge the culture in our own families or things will never change. Do your research in to Islam and present these texts to your backwards families. If the wife of the prophet Muhammad was older than him, a widower, and business woman then who are the hell are these men who force their women to cover up and not go to work and mix with shock horror the opposite sex. It's a disgusting attitude but one we have to change with ourselves and our own children.

It's also tough when people lift scriptures from the Quran and ask for their meaning. Scholars for years have been trying to do this (in all religions and all scriptures) and I don't think I have the knowledge to try and understand or
Explain what certain things mean. Although happy to go away and do my research. The problem is, those scriptures were written at a different time and context so may seem wrong for now because the culture hasn't allowed anything to move forward.

Sorry I may have really waffled but I just want to get across, Islam hasn't ruined anything. Culture has. If a ban on the burka would come in to force, due to these backwards men, I honestly fear certain women would be housebound which is a scary thought. These men use culture under the guise of religion to force their narrow minded backward views on to their female family members but are so far away from what the religion teaches it's actually disgusting.

Dumbledoresgirl · 12/08/2018 22:55

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OverByYer · 12/08/2018 22:56

I’m currently watching a documentary in BBc2 about life in modern Pakistan, much more laid back in LaHore. Not seeing any Niqabs and only a few head scarves.
Why the disparity?
The British born Pakistani presenter says parts of Pakistan are more open minded than parts of Pakistani Britain. Rally interesting.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 22:58

Where's that picture from??!!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 12/08/2018 23:00

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Dumbledoresgirl · 12/08/2018 23:00

Google. Grin

I tried googling niqab wearing abseilers and got nothing except pictures of niqabs. But googling abseil in a niqab came up trumps. Well, one picture.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 23:05

Good grief. That's actually bonkers.

Dumbledoresgirl · 12/08/2018 23:07

It does look like something from Monty Python.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 23:10

Eric Idle is definitely under there, somewhere...

SomewhereInTheNorth · 12/08/2018 23:11

TooExtra- that’s a little harsh? For all we know, candy could be a bloke with an intent to disrupt this thread. Not saying it is, but looking for a specific thread on mumsnet rather than the masses of support systems for Muslim women Hmm

bonkers22 · 12/08/2018 23:16

I'm quite uncomfortable as some of the comments on here! Especially the picture. If i was go get a picture of a Christian nun all covered up or a Jewish woman with the sheitel (wig) or the men with the curls, would we also laugh about these..?

SomewhereInTheNorth · 12/08/2018 23:21

Bonkers - I agree, this thread is terrible.

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