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Original poster

I wear a niqab! AMA

838 replies

JamTea · 12/08/2018 13:34

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Scotgirl80 · 12/08/2018 14:38

Hi

Am I correct In believing the Quran dosnt actually state a woman needs to cover her face? Is it just she needs to dress modestly and this then is it down to interpretation?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 12/08/2018 14:42

How do you communicate with people who have impaired hearing and need to lip read?

Original poster
JamTea · 12/08/2018 14:58

@ScattyCharly

I would ask why you choose to wear the niqab over the khimar?

The reason for the question is that it looks more difficult to breathe in the niqab. And are there any reasons why the khimar does not meet your personal modesty/head covering objectives?

Good question, thanks for asking :) Khimar does meet my personal modesty objectives, and there are times when I wear a khimar in place of the niqab. The reason where I wear niqab is I believe it is taking a step even further from the minimum required to please my Lord. There aren't any other reasons. There are however one or two advantages that come along with it (such as remaining anonymous in a very nosey close knit community - this was a HUGE bonus for me when I lived in a very close knit community (think village!)), but that is the not the reason why I wear it. I just benefit from that advantage. I hope that makes sense?

In terms of comfort, I am used to wearing it daily (its a lovely breathable material) and therefore find it very comfortable to wear. But if I didn't wear it daily, it probably would not feel as comfortable. The material is breathable. What is not comfortable is the way some people treat me when I wear it. But I do understand that some find it uncomfortable or don't understand it. I therefore always make an effort to strike conversation with members of the public, and attempt where I can to ease their discomfort.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 12/08/2018 14:58

Op, you do understand the concept of ask me anything is you're actually supposed to answer, it's not just the asking 🤣

Original poster
JamTea · 12/08/2018 15:04

AnnieOH

There was recently a lady on a similar thread who said that she no longer wears the niqab and won't allow her daughter to either as she feels unsafe (it was before Boris Johnson's comments). sad

Have you ever felt that you weren't able to wear it freely?

There have been quite a few occasions where I have removed it and not worn it. I suppose I do a risk assessment every time I enter a new area, especially if I am alone. When Boris says these type of comments, we are in a way in heightened alert, so for a few days until things have settled, I will not go out until I need to, and will stick to the routes I am already familiar with. Even with the train, I will avoid it after 9.00pm for example, and in this climate, will prefer to be with someone else, rather than alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
JamTea · 12/08/2018 15:12

@Inkspellme

I’m curious as to why there looks to be a double standard between men and women in your community. Why do women cover so much but men never do?

For me, it always seems to reflect a belief that men cannot control themselves around women who “tempt” them and therefore women cover to reduce that temptation. If this was the case I would find it difficult to live with if I was a part of your community.

As you can probably tell, I am not a part of the Muslim community. Someone explained to me that a hiqab allows women to be modest as mentioned in the Koran. However, I can’t see how that is the equivalent of being modest.

My apologies if any of my post sounds disrespectful as I’m more curious than anything.

Hi, this is an excellent question and in no way disrespectful! I am really pleased you asked this question.

There are different rules of modesty and dress code for both men and women in Islam. So men for example have to wear loose clothing (no fitted jeans), have to wear trousers above their ankles etc. When men are in public they must lower their gaze (so look down). Women also have a dress code, and that means wearing loose clothing but also covering their hair (and covering their face if they are able to or want to (differing opinions) and they will be rewarded for that). The reason for wearing niqab isn't so that men are not 'tempted', because then all Muslim women would have been instructed to wear one. It is another step a woman could take to get closer to God. Men also have things they could do in relation to dress to get closer to God, such as wear a turban, or clothing that emulates what the Prophet wore.

OP posts:
TheCountryGirl · 12/08/2018 15:15

When I see women dressed in this way, I am reminded of my place in society - beneath men, a second class citizen and something shameful that is taking up space in male society. You are making YOUR choice to dress this way yes, but it is a choice that affects me and all women. I do not understand why you think your Lord would be pleased about this.

And why do Muslim men not wear veils? If it brings you closer to God, surely they would want to wear them? I hear people saying that they have their own traditional clothes to wear...funny because they always seem to wear western clothes.

TheCountryGirl · 12/08/2018 15:16

Cross posted OP. Do men really wear these clothes? In Luton I saw them in shorts and t shirts while their wives were covered. Same with Leicester.

LighthouseSouth · 12/08/2018 15:21

do you feel any sympathy for security concerns?

eg you couldn't enter my workplace reception with a motorbike helmet on because the receptionist cant see the face of the person walking in.

I think this is the same.

this might seem hugely anti man but the worry it might be some awful violent man under there is real.

bonzo77 · 12/08/2018 15:27

I work with many Muslim women (clients) who cover themselves to some degree (though looking at your helpful picture, I’ve not seen anyone in a Burkha) and for whatever reason. Yet the vast vast vast majority of their menfolk wear entirely western clothing. Those that do wear “traditional” clothing are almost invariably older (60 or older). Why is that?

I’m Jewish, it feels to me that there is a higher degree of consistency betweeen the male and female dress codes of members of the individual sects. Not sure if this is an appropriate comparison but it is something I’ve noted. Have you seen this or philosophised on it?

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2018 15:29

Men also have things they could do in relation to dress to get closer to God

Where is this this written though op? Where does this come from? That this extreme level of dress pleases your god. The more extreme the more he likes it?

TwistedStitch · 12/08/2018 15:29

Surely the point of free choice is the right to choose what's best for you

Of course, but that doesn't mean it doesn't impact upon others. OP is choosing to validate a garment that for many is the symbol of their oppression. Not every choice should be endorsed just because it was made 'freely' and by a woman. OP has said AMA so I'm interested in her perspective on this.

Bluntness100 · 12/08/2018 15:31

And why do Muslim men not wear veils? If it brings you closer to God, surely they would want to wear them

This is a good question? Why is it only women who are brought closer to god by covering their faces, not men?

TatterdemalionAspie · 12/08/2018 15:44

Hi Jam. My questions are...

Why do you think it would please god for you to cover yourself with an all-encompassing garment that shows only your eyes?

What would your reaction be if someone asked you to remove your face covering (for instance at a doctor's appointment, or classroom, or if someone had a hearing impairment, or for security reasons)? Are you happy to do so or would you be uncomfortable/upset?

OverByYer · 12/08/2018 15:51

When I was in school in the 80s, the only concession Muslim girls made to traditional dress was to wear trousers underneath their skirts.
Now headscarves are very common.
What I am interested to know is, has the dress restriction become stricter since then, or do women feel more comfortable to wear head coverings? Has society become more accepting of it?

Onecutefox · 12/08/2018 15:56

I find it disrespectful when other cultures don't respect our culture by not assimilating with it. I also feel very uncomfortable talking to a woman not seeing her whole face.
People are not allowed to wear hoodies in the shops but covering their faces is fine. Is it not ridiculous?

IAmNotAntiWomen · 12/08/2018 15:59

I would not mind if it was a historical or long standing religious thing. This looks like a trend to me, I can't see the evidence that it's in scripture or long standing cultural.

It all looks like attention seeking fashion to me.

ForeverBubblegum · 12/08/2018 15:59

Sorry if this seems disrespectful, I'm just curious, but feel free not to answer.

If you and your partner were going away for a romantic weekend, could you ware sexy undies underneath?

Clionba · 12/08/2018 16:02

Do you miss being able to smile at people? I'd miss that in life.

Clionba · 12/08/2018 16:03

I live in a town where quite a few of the Muslim women wear the niqab. However, all the men are making no dress concessions, ie they're in jeans, t-shirts, etc. Why the male /female disparity?

flumpybear · 12/08/2018 16:04

Do you feel it creates a barrier between you and others in a normal day to day functioning front?

SimonBridges · 12/08/2018 16:06

There are however one or two advantages that come along with it (such as remaining anonymous in a very nosey close knit community

But you won’t be anonymous. They will know it’s you if you are the only person who wears a niqab.

I’m guessing you take it off at home, but what if someone comes to the door? (Although this being MN we know that no one answers their door without a written request)

sonlypuppyfat · 12/08/2018 16:06

Don't you get hot?

OverByYer · 12/08/2018 16:08

That’s my concern ImNotAntiWomen
In the city wear I live, over the years Muslim dress has become more restrictive and conservative.
Is that through choice or repression?

If women choose the veil of their own free will, that’s fine but is it proper free choice?

Bombardier25966 · 12/08/2018 16:12

It's disappointing how, through all of those asking genuine questions and with a genuine interest, there are others who are using the thread just to push their own viewpoint. Given that this is AMA, perhaps those with no interest could sod off to one of the more general discussion threads?

Thank you JamTea for starting the thread. For those with an open mind your responses are very interesting.